Reverse lunch

[MathGirl]

Re: HEY!

Again, I am only making off the wall comments, but there should be a way to let someone know there is a fork in the road, if they don't have the time to read all pages. You have to remember, the thread did start out about ways to express the act of vomiting. A common body function, for sure, but still not the most common thread topic, IMO.

And, maybe more smilies on my part would have softened the implied tone, somehow?

So, MG, have you decided on a usable word or phrase for your story?
:

Dear DVS,
One usually can note the change in direction of a thread when one reads the posts in said thread.

"Reverse lunch" was merely a mechanism to launch a thread. Once in orbit, the perv... folks on here decide where it's going to go. I actually had no interest in finding a word. Now, 5+ pages later, you can see my little effort was successful.

A topic such as donut pitching attracts the type of people which make for an interesting thread.

Basically, there's no telling what I might do when I'm bored.

Don't try that smilies ploy on me, buster. I don't use them and have disabled them.

Oh, I'm being nice this week. Sorry.

Love, MG

Good grief! Six pages!

 

[HedbangerSA]

The shame!

Originally posted by MathGirl
"Reverse lunch" was merely a mechanism to launch a thread. Once in orbit, the perv... folks on here decide where it's going to go. I actually had no interest in finding a word. Now, 5+ pages later, you can see my little effort was successful.

A topic such as donut pitching attracts the type of people which make for an interesting thread.

Basically, there's no telling what I might do when I'm bored.

So the truth comes out -- we've been manipulated by MathGirl, mere pawns in her little game.. (pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain, Toto!)

Ooohh! I'm up to 46 posts now. Halfway there. The heck with the baby with the big butt - I'm thinking maybe a picture of a naked chick on the beach!

 

[DVS]

Re: Re: HEY!

Dear DVS,
One usually can note the change in direction of a thread when one reads the posts in said thread.

I told you I didn't read all pages. I guess I'm just not equipped to read that many pages, nor do I have the eyes to do it on computer screen. <---this smilie has glasses. Maybe I need them for reading? My eyes dry out and burn.

And, I didn't want my reading to be 5 pages (at the time) of vomit theme variations! So, I did jump the gun a bit, but I tried to explain said jump.

I also tried to explain my humor within that post, and even smoothed it over with the damn smilies, but you wouldn't even swallow that! Did I know you have smilies turned off? NO!! And, is that my fault? I don't think so.

Even you agree this has gone on a bit long. Charlie Brown didn't say the below line!

Good grief! Six pages!

And, I didn't know you weren't looking for a vomit line. Do you always manipulate your friends this way? Now I will know, for the future. Live and learn, I guess.

It's true, what they say about Californians. Weird!

Hey, I'm kind of getting into these smilies, now. Oh, I forgot! This means humor ---> He's smiling. (Wish there was a tongue-n-cheek smilie, or maybe one throwing up!).

 

[Svenskaflicka]

This week's contribution from the Club of Worthless Knowledge

Well, I threw up on page 2, and dry heaved on 3. It is no longer in me to continue reading.
Don't get me wrong. I don't want to stifle creativity. Maybe you could have them read the food chunks on the floor for their future, like some read tea leaves?

Actually, the old fortune tellers used to gut open geese and read the future by looking at the poor animals' intestines...

 

[DVS]

Re: This week's contribution from the Club of Worthless Knowledge

Actually, the old fortune tellers used to gut open geese and read the future by looking at the poor animals' intestines...

Yes, it seems I've heard that somewhere. Such a strange world. I wonder what our resident abuse hound would think of this. Surely, this is some form of abuse.

Although it would be a senseless killing, at least they had something to cook for dinner, after.

Now that I think about it, if one of my cats throw up, one of the others will sometimes come over and chow down. And, usually when it's still warm from the oven.

 

[SlickTony]

I do like cats. They do their share of throwing up, you know.

Good Lord, do they ever! I wish I'd a dollar for every time I'd been awakened in the small quiet hours of the morning by ngaaack ngaaack ngaaack ngaaack BLEAH! I'd be rich. Maybe I could buy stock in Carbona.

 

[gauchecritic]

Re: The shame!

So the truth comes out -- we've been manipulated by MathGirl,

Well you can count me in for some of that.

And DO NOT EVER mention cats eating puke, it always reminds me that mummy dogs eat puppy dogs shit. I can't believe I wrote that. Eeuuuggh.

Gauche

 

[jfinn]

Re: Re: The shame!

Well you can count me in for some of that.

And DO NOT EVER mention cats eating puke, it always reminds me that mummy dogs eat puppy dogs shit. I can't believe I wrote that. Eeuuuggh.

Gauche

My experience is dogs will eat any kind of poop. Had a Saint Bernard when I was a kid, he loved coming out to the stables with me and following me around as I rode my horse so he could snack on any leavings, then he'd come over and drool all over me, ugh!

Jayne

 

[SlickTony]

And DO NOT EVER mention cats eating puke, it always reminds me that mummy dogs eat puppy dogs shit. I can't believe I wrote that. Eeuuuggh.

Too late, Gauche! If you hadn't brought it up, I might have gone on forgetting about it. I had a cat who consistently scarfed down his breakfast so fast it bounced right back up in an almost untouched condition--eh, well, a little moistened. Then his bud would come along behind him and clean it right up. I figure, when you hate housekeeping as much as I do, you can use all the help you can get.

As for dogs, they eat everything--a setter/lab we used to have used to eat turds out of the catbox. The cats took a very dim view of the practice.

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Re: HEY!

IAnd, I didn't know you weren't looking for a vomit line. Do you always manipulate your friends this way? Now I will know, for the future. Live and learn, I guess.

Dear DVS,
You might try "live, learn, and lighten up," dear. Having fun with each other is what we do best here.

Terribly, terribly devastated if I've offended.
MG

 

[DVS]

Re: Re: Re: Re: HEY!

Dear DVS,
You might try "live, learn, and lighten up," dear. Having fun with each other is what we do best here.

Lighten up? I'm having fun, as everyone else is, sweetie. Don't you see my smilies? See, happy little dudes, all in a row. ----->

Oh, I forgot. You have them turned off.
Well, you will just have to take my word for it, then.

I am sorta starting to get into these little guys. Kind of sad, isn't it. A grown man into cartoons?

 

[DVS]

As for dogs, they eat everything--a setter/lab we used to have used to eat turds out of the catbox. The cats took a very dim view of the practice.

Ah, you beat me to it! I agree about dogs and what they will eat. I swear, those things must look like little tootsie rolls with Rice Crispys mixed in.

I had a dog that loved to be where the people were, in the house. So, when I had company, he would go to the litter box, find a tasty turd, and bring it into the living room to chew on. Not only the cats had a dim view of that! I didn't care for it a lot, either.

I won't talk about the ones he wouldn't finish and were stepped on by me, in the night. Oh, I guess I just did, huh? Squishy between the toes!

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: HEY!

I am sorta starting to get into these little guys. Kind of sad, isn't it. A grown man into cartoons?

There are worse things to be into. I've even turned on the smilies, just for you.
MG

 

[MathGirl]

Gd grf

Well you can count me in for some of that.

And DO NOT EVER mention cats eating puke, it always reminds me that mummy dogs eat puppy dogs shit. I can't believe I wrote that. Eeuuuggh.

Gauche

Good grief! And someone suggested I crossed the line of good taste by introducing a vomit thread!
MG

 

[DVS]

Re: Gd grf

Good grief! And someone suggested I crossed the line of good taste by introducing a vomit thread!
MG

That might have been me. But, it has become survival of the fittest, or the least queazy. And, I have already eaten, this evening. I have an iron stomach, when it is happy.

I also think talking about animal vomit isn't the same as talking about human vomit. Being an animal owner/lover, I have seen my share of animal vomit...many flavors.

Not working in a hospital, not a parent, and rarely sick, human vomit is not as "normal" for me, but I can dish it out, so to speak.

 

[HedbangerSA]

Thank you, DVS!

Man! I never thought I'd be relieved to see a threat get back to the general subject of vomit. In an effort to keep it there, and introduce a nifty new vomit term, "egress", I'll share this excerpt from a story a friend just e-mailed me about a writer who got a chance to take a test flight in an F-14 (BTW, I also love any story that includes a reference to nailing Nicole Kidman):

Biff was to fly me in an F-14D Tomcat, a ridiculously powerful $60 million weapon with nearly as much thrust as weight, not unlike Colin Montgomerie.

I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the flight I
asked Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning.
"Bananas," he said. "For the potassium?" I asked. "No," Biff said,
"because they taste about the same coming up as they do going down."

The next morning, out on the tarmac, I had on my flight suit with my name sewn over the left breast. (No call sign -- like Crash or Sticky or Leadfoot - but, still, very cool.) I carried my helmet in the crook of my arm, as Biff had instructed. If ever in my life I had a chance to nail Nicole Kidman, that was it.

A fighter pilot named Psycho gave me a safety briefing and then fastened me into my ejection seat, which, when employed, would "egress" me out of the plane at such a velocity that I would be immediately knocked unconscious from the G-forces. Just as I was thinking about aborting the flight, the canopy closed over me, and Biff gave the ground crew a thumbs-up. In minutes we were firing nose up at 600 mph. We leveled out
and then canopy-rolled over another F-14. Those 20 minutes were the rush of my life.

Unfortunately, the ride lasted 80 minutes. It was like being on the roller coaster at Six Flags. Only without rails. We did barrel rolls, snap rolls, loops, yanks and banks. We dived, rose and dived again, sometimes with a vertical velocity of 10,000 feet per minute. We chased another F-14, and it chased us. We broke the speed of sound. Sea was sky and sky was sea. Flying at 200 feet we did 90-degree turns at 550 mph, creating a G-force of 6.5, which is to say I felt as if 6.5 times my body weight was smashing against me.

This is my favorite part . . .

And I egressed the bananas. I egressed the pizza from the night before. And the lunch before that. I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade. I made Linda Blair look polite. Because of the G's, I was egressing stuff that did not even want to be egressed. I went through not one airsick bag, but two. Biff said I passed out. Twice. I was coated in sweat. At one point, as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock bombing target and the G's were flattening me like a tortilla
and I was in and out of consciousness, I realized I was the first person in history to throw down.

I used to know cool. Cool was Elway throwing a touchdown pass, or Norman making a five-iron bite. But now I really know cool. Cool is guys like Biff, men with cast-iron stomachs and Freon nerves. I wouldn't go up there again for Derek Jeter's
black book, but I'm glad Biff does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home stand.

A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called. He said he and the fighter pilots had the perfect call sign for me. Said he'd send it on a patch for my flight suit.

What is it? I asked.

"Two Bags."

 

[Dirt Man]

Re: Egress...

"Two Bags."

Thanks. I laughed so hard reading your detailed story about this, that I couldn't help but egress into tears. Thanks again.

DM

 

[DVS]

Re: Re: Egress...

Thanks. I laughed so hard reading your detailed story about this, that I couldn't help but egress into tears. Thanks again.

DM

I liked it, too. I would love to fly in a jet fighter. I have riden in a helicopter, and a single engine plane, but nothing so fast.

But, a lot of the up chucking is because the rider doesn't know when all of these rolls and Gs are going to happen, and when they are going to stop.

The pilot knows when they all are going to start and stop, and this has a lot to do with their keeping their lunch down.

Sure, they do get some experience from the many flights they take, but it is somewhat like the person who can't ride in a car, but can drive. If they ride, they get sick, but if they drive, they don't.

They are in the same car, going over the same road, but because they are in control of where the car goes, they don't get sick.

Back seat drivers have no control over where the car goes, either...unless it is your mother in law. So, someone who is likely to "egress" their lunch should ride in the front seat. They are closer to the driver and can also see the road, and less likely to up chuck.

Don't get me wrong. There is a level of stamina that the pilots get to from the amount of flights they take. But, I am sure the pilots all have had their turn with the bags, when they were in the rider's seat. Some may still, if they were in that seat again. But, being in control of the plane, they are much less likely to get queazy.

When I was a boy scout (many years ago) we took a flight class. The last day, we got to ride in a troop carrier. The back where we were sitting was very large. There were no windows, and I was turning green, rather quickly.

One of the flight crew took me up into the cockpit, and I got to watch out the front.
Almost instantaniously, my sickness went away. It was because my eyes could then see what my stomach was feeling. Without my eyes, my stomach was lost and on its own. That is not a fun feeling.

Some of the same principle can be used on a rollercoaster. You have to ride in the front car for the best test. That way, you can watch the rails so you know when each turn or dip is coming.
Then, you have to wedge yourself into the car, so you don't slide back and forth. This will make you "part of the car", so your experience is as close to driving it can be. This, with watching the upcoming rails, will allow you to keep your lunch, if you get queazy riding rollercoasters.

Well, it isn't an exact science, but the principle is sound. It is up to you to find out if your stomach is, too.

 

[MathGirl]

Mal de aire

I fly at least twice a week and often take people along. I'd sure never do any maneuvers that would cause airsickness. Not in MY plane.

A friend of mine got sick on her own plane during a storm. Was too ill to clean it up after she got down. Plane sat tied down and locked up for about a week in the sun. That was five years ago, and the cockpit still stinks.

Yum,
MG

 

[HedbangerSA]

Mission Accomplished!

Glad to see that I focused this thread back on good, clean human vomit stories!!

 

[Dirt Man]

I've seen fire, and I've seen rain...

I've sailed in two typhoons in the sea of Japan, once on the USS New Jersey (BB-62), and once on the Destroyer frigate Preble (DLG-15). Saw vomit sloushing around the bridge of both that had everyone but me sicker than a dog while they served weiners and beens in the galley for 6 meals straight. I've flown on everything from Piper Cub to a jumbo jet as both passenger, and pilot, and still never gotten sick. So maybe it's just the inner ear, a slight phobia or two, and just a touch of hard iron stomach that a gallon of old Glenlevet a week keeps settled. LOL


DM

 

[DVS]

Re: I've seen fire, and I've seen rain...

I've flown ... and still never gotten sick. LOL DM

I've never been queazy, either. On a plane, rollercoaster, dirt track racing, and the like. But, I can't say I would never get queazy, just never have. I am very near 50, so maybe I never will. I would guess my queazy years have passed.

I like to say I have an iron stomach. I like to watch medical operations, and blood and guts don't bother me. Now, I don't know if my own blood and guts would be different.

I agree that there are some who seem to have an iron stomach or maybe it is the inner ear that is made of iron, when motion is involved. Some of us are lucky. Or, maybe it is better said that some of us are unlucky.

Dirt Man, what was the reason for weiners and beans being served? Was that just the standard meal, or did it have something to do with the rough seas? Were they easier to come up, and then less wear and tear on the human system in such seas? Just curious.

You know, times like that could have very well been the beginnings of the graphic but discriptive term BLOW CHUNKS!

 

[HedbangerSA]

Men at Sea Stories

Okay, since everyone else is, I'll tell my "At Sea" story....

I went with a group of five other guys albacore tuna fishing a number of years ago. We left out of San Diego at ten in the evening, because we needed to go twenty miles out and eighty down the coast. We had a big meal at a seafood place nearby first - five of us carefully applied our prescription patches two hours prior to departure. The other guy, Jim, scoffed at this - he said "I don't do drugs". I asked him if he'd ever been on open water before, and he said yes - he went on a cruise in the Meditteranean once and it got pretty rough. But you were okay? I asked. He said no, he got sicker than a dog.
At the restaurant, Jim had stuffed Lobster with lots of drawn butter.

The captain suggested we not go, because the forecast was for six foot seas. It was the only time we could go, we'd all flown there, etc. and the captain said it wouldn't hurt the fishing, so we left. On a 48 foot Bertram, which is a pretty solid boat, but we had to sleep in bunks with boards across the open side to keep from being rolled out. The next morning Jim was 'sleeping' in a chair on deck when they woke us at 5am - we were in a school of tuna. We started pulling them in (amazing experience) - tuna are so strong that they never tire enough to be netted - the mate has to gaff them with a big hook and pull them onto the back of the boat where we are all standing - lots of blood and flopping around and these are big fish, 40 lbs. The first fish hit the deck and Jim was leaning over the side, "chumming the fish". This went on all morning - I noticed that he'd put a patch on (too late!). By midday his own mother wouldn't have recognized him - face all swollen and pale, hair sticking straight up, whole body shaking. I've always heard that being really seasick is as bad as anything that can happen to you - you'd think you're dying if you didn't know that solid land was all you need.
At one point Jim whispered to me - "If a helicopter would pick me up right now, I'd pay a million dollars". Unfortunately, we were still eighty miles and six hours from port.

I've never gotten any kind of motion sickness, on boats or planes or helicopters or amusement park rides, but my rule of thumb on any big voyage is "better safe than sorry". If I have any doubts, all I have to do is think about Jim, egressing all that stuffed lobster.

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: I've seen fire, and I've seen rain...

You know, times like that could have very well been the beginnings of the graphic but discriptive term BLOW CHUNKS!

"No, no. You don't understand. Chunks is my dog."

MG

 

[DVS]

Re: Re: Re: I've seen fire, and I've seen rain...

"No, no. You don't understand. Chunks is my dog."

MG

Hummm. Bestiality, anyone?