Scared Off

[~Dream~]

Re: Re: Re: Re: A continuing disagreement

I'd like to point out, Lance, that except for this post, i haven't posted to you or about you, nor have i participated in any arguements of any kind with anyone at all even once since i returned. That you keep invoking my name in your posts as proof you're being done wrong is...puzzling.

Do you actually think i'm participating in all this unpleasantness or do you simply not see that i have not been a participant in the rolling in the mud fun 'n games that's been going on ad nauseum?

In other words: are you blind or unkind?
Is it deliberate or unthinking?

Just wondering.

Now i'll return to having fun here instead of being mad at everyone all the time.
_________________________________
way to go cym!! I think we ALL should be able to come here and have fun,realax,smile..hmmm seems to me that a very WISE man]
by the name of (Artful) tells me the very same thing
being mad is 1 tremendous amount of energy wasted and I dont know about any of you but I'd much rather use my energy "elsewhere"

 

[Rooster]

Hiya Rooster, Nice to see ya.


dixi

hey dixi .. how are ya? .. doing fine ..... trying to make time here for Lit ......

 

[Dr. B Evil]

I'm always pissed off...

...and sometimes pissed on!

 

[MsWorthy]

Re: Re: Scared Off

Some people like to huff and puff and get self righteous about the cause of poor people who get scared away from this board because of all those mean nasty fem subs (hahahahaha oh pardon me, back to being serious).

Now everybody maybe needs a time out now and again, I did myself a while back when I got disgusted with some of the kissyass shit that was going on.
But as for people scared off by people disagreeing and all that.
Listen, BDSM is a scary thing. it can be dangerous in a mental way, an emotional way and a physical way. There is a lot to have to watch out for.
So I got to say, if you too tender and sensitive to deal with some arguing now and then you may consider if you are too sensitive to be jumping in to a new lifestyle like BDSM.And if you really ant to be in BDSM you ought to think putting up with a little hollering and that now and then is worth it.

Thats just my opinion. Some knucklefuckers say Im a moron, so take it for whatever.

MzC, I too, have been accused of being insensitive and mean.

I will confess. I am insensitive and mean. Deal with it or not. Life is real, and the folks living it are real also.

Some of us grownups have had to fight their way to the middle.

So pull up those boot straps, suck it in, and join the fray or not. but lawdy lawd quit whining. Unless you got some cheese you are willing to share with it.

And, MzC , not that my opinion matters, but you are not a moron. They are just a) scared shitless of you, or b) stoopid.
In my not-so-humble-opinion.

Eb

Perhaps this is why I am uncomfortable and not enjoying myself on this forum anymore. I didn't realize that thick skin, insensitivity, meanness, and the ability to deal with arguing was a prerequisite to bdsm. Had I known I would not have taken a step forward in this direction.

Bdsm is just the opposite in my world. It is a atmosphere of peace, control, respect, self-discipline, and tolerance for diversity. If it were not I would have no interest in it at all, but then my s/m is mild. Perhaps that explains my lack of interest in fighting, name-calling, disrespect and cruelty. I had no idea that one had to have thick skin and a mean streak in order to "play".

In my opinion, this goes well beyond "people disagreeing." I have disagreed with many people in my life and once I passed the age of 30 (it took me awhile to realize that intimidation didn't equate to power, it is just bullying) I have not done any name-calling, nor have I been called/considered mean or insensitive (that I am aware of).

So, I disagree. I don't think putting up with, agreeing with, taking sides on, or sucking up and stop whining about the ugliness going on here is a prerequisite to bdsm.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

Oh I agree, but after all, this is a porn site.

And I think that you can get what you want out of it. It is all up toyou. but you cannot control other people. I just do not like the "holier than thou" attitudes that crop up.

If I see something that I would rather not deal with, I just let it slide.

I post one 5 other BDSM sites, and they have their moments too.

Human nature.

Take it or leave it.

Eb

Perhaps this is why I am uncomfortable and not enjoying myself on this forum anymore. I didn't realize that thick skin, insensitivity, meanness, and the ability to deal with arguing was a prerequisite to bdsm. Had I known I would not have taken a step forward in this direction.

Bdsm is just the opposite in my world. It is a atmosphere of peace, control, respect, self-discipline, and tolerance for diversity. If it were not I would have no interest in it at all, but then my s/m is mild. Perhaps that explains my lack of interest in fighting, name-calling, disrespect and cruelty. I had no idea that one had to have thick skin and a mean streak in order to "play".

In my opinion, this goes well beyond "people disagreeing." I have disagreed with many people in my life and once I passed the age of 30 (it took me awhile to realize that intimidation didn't equate to power, it is just bullying) I have not done any name-calling, nor have I been called/considered mean or insensitive (that I am aware of).

So, I disagree. I don't think putting up with, agreeing with, taking sides on, or sucking up and stop whining about the ugliness going on here is a prerequisite to bdsm.

 

[MissTaken]

Directed to no one in particular....

Arguing is cool.

Debating is even better.

Using the board as a boxing ring in Junior High School is silly.
Name calling sucks.
Using sweeping generalizations to insult a subset of the forum sucks.
Fucking with someone's head, really sucks.
Hurting others for the sake of a good time sucks.

This is JUST my opinion.


However, there is such a thing as free speech, so have at it.

Yes, EB, I do ignore a lot and will continue to do so.

 

[CarolineOh]

Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

Perhaps this is why I am uncomfortable and not enjoying myself on this forum anymore. I didn't realize that thick skin, insensitivity, meanness, and the ability to deal with arguing was a prerequisite to bdsm. Had I known I would not have taken a step forward in this direction.

Bdsm is just the opposite in my world. It is a atmosphere of peace, control, respect, self-discipline, and tolerance for diversity. If it were not I would have no interest in it at all, but then my s/m is mild. Perhaps that explains my lack of interest in fighting, name-calling, disrespect and cruelty. I had no idea that one had to have thick skin and a mean streak in order to "play".

In my opinion, this goes well beyond "people disagreeing." I have disagreed with many people in my life and once I passed the age of 30 (it took me awhile to realize that intimidation didn't equate to power, it is just bullying) I have not done any name-calling, nor have I been called/considered mean or insensitive (that I am aware of).

So, I disagree. I don't think putting up with, agreeing with, taking sides on, or sucking up and stop whining about the ugliness going on here is a prerequisite to bdsm.

I don't think either Christa nor Ebony were saying that meanness, insensitivity, etc., were a prerequisite to bdsm. I thought they were both saying that if you are too sensitive to deal with fighting on a bulletin board, you may not be prepared for the potential problems you may encounter in taking your bdsm into the real world. neither of them were calling upon people to act in a mean spirited way, in my opinion.

 

[~Dream~]

MsWorthy and Miss Taken.

2 very fine posts from 2 ladies I highly respect,thank-you ..well said

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

I don't think either Christa nor Ebony were saying that meanness, insensitivity, etc., were a prerequisite to bdsm. I thought they were both saying that if you are too sensitive to deal with fighting on a bulletin board, you may not be prepared for the potential problems you may encounter in taking your bdsm into the real world. neither of them were calling upon people to act in a mean spirited way, in my opinion.

Exactly.

We cannot always get along.

Eb

 

[Lancecastor]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

I don't think either Christa nor Ebony were saying that meanness, insensitivity, etc., were a prerequisite to bdsm. I thought they were both saying that if you are too sensitive to deal with fighting on a bulletin board, you may not be prepared for the potential problems you may encounter in taking your bdsm into the real world. neither of them were calling upon people to act in a mean spirited way, in my opinion.

I think fighting on a bulliten board is completely different from making bdsm part of one's life and require different skills altogether.

Chalk and cheese, really.

Unless of course your sex life is lived 100% online.

In which case, bulliten board fighting would be more like a bad relationship with your significant other online.

I guess.

Thanks, CarolineOh, for sharing that insight.

I agree that Eb & Christa were suggesting that it is not necessary to be outwardly mean to get your point across.

Cheers;

Lance

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: all i knnow is

ty Sis Dixie..I mean cant we all use our time for something more Constructive? like being"submissive or something"? hehe
Time wasted can Never be regained...I suggest we ALL 'think' about that..JMHO

Dream, I get paid a lot of money to be constructive. This is a porn site. Not Yale University.

Eb

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

Exactly.

We cannot always get along.

Eb

And it would be boring if we did.

One perspective all of the time, certainly wouldn't bring me back here day after day.

It is HOW we dont' get along that comes into play.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Me

Most of the time, I post with humor. I also post seriously. I have been misquoted and misunderstood both ways. So what?

Ms Worthy, you made assumptions on what I said without bothering to ask me what I meant. You disagreed with me without finding out if in fact we were in disagreement. It happens all the time. I do it to others and it is done to me in return.

It is the very nature of this medium that fosters this kind of misunderstanding.

as I have said many times on this very Forum. the computer is a poor communicator.

I post here cause I choose to, when I choose not to post anymore I will leave.

Eb

 

[MsWorthy]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

I don't think either Christa nor Ebony were saying that meanness, insensitivity, etc., were a prerequisite to bdsm. I thought they were both saying that if you are too sensitive to deal with fighting on a bulletin board, you may not be prepared for the potential problems you may encounter in taking your bdsm into the real world. neither of them were calling upon people to act in a mean spirited way, in my opinion.

I don't see how being "too sensitive to deal with fighting on a bulletin board" correlates to having a personal, intimate bdsm relationship, or any relationship, for that matter.

I don't think being sensitive or thin-skinned has anything to do with having a rl relationship. You pick your partner based on your needs, desires, and personality. You can easily be thin-skinned, sensitive, hate arguing, get your feelings hurt by strangers and have a successful bdsm relationship.

Ask my partner.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

I don't see how being "too sensitive to deal with fighting on a bulletin board" correlates to having a personal, intimate bdsm relationship, or any relationship, for that matter.

I don't think being sensitive or thin-skinned has anything to do with having a rl relationship. You pick your partner based on your needs, desires, and personality. You can easily be thin-skinned, sensitive, hate arguing, get your feelings hurt by strangers and have a successful bdsm relationship.

Ask my partner.

I was not specifically talking about a BDSM relationship. but since you insist I was, evidently you can read minds.

 

[MzChrista]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

I don't think either Christa nor Ebony were saying that meanness, insensitivity, etc., were a prerequisite to bdsm. I thought they were both saying that if you are too sensitive to deal with fighting on a bulletin board, you may not be prepared for the potential problems you may encounter in taking your bdsm into the real world. neither of them were calling upon people to act in a mean spirited way, in my opinion.

Thank you C Oh. I am not the most articulate person so people took me wrong. I am just saying that when you walk the walk you might meet predators and manipulators and pretenders of all kind and they gonna have power to hurt you more than any body on a board.
I dont think nobody should be mean. But no way am I gonna say people should roll over and show their ass to knucklefuckers who start shit either. What if we take that attitude real time. We gonna say "oh this guy at the club ignored 3 subs safewords and beat them up and dumped them out his car, but hey, we all got to get along?"
Maybe I got a different view from some because I am social a lot in BDSM so maybe I see a dark side that those who mostly stay home dont know about.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

I was not specifically talking about a BDSM relationship. but since you insist I was, evidently you can read minds.

And if I misunderstood you, sorry.

You do not have to agree with any of us. That is the beauty of free speech.

But putting words in a post that just are not there, well, what is the good in that?

Eb

 

[MzChrista]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

I don't see how being "too sensitive to deal with fighting on a bulletin board" correlates to having a personal, intimate bdsm relationship, or any relationship, for that matter.

I don't think being sensitive or thin-skinned has anything to do with having a rl relationship. You pick your partner based on your needs, desires, and personality. You can easily be thin-skinned, sensitive, hate arguing, get your feelings hurt by strangers and have a successful bdsm relationship.

Ask my partner.

Who said jack about a relationship? Thats one part of BDSM not the whole thing.

 

[MsWorthy]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

And it would be boring if we did.

One perspective all of the time, certainly wouldn't bring me back here day after day.

It is HOW we dont' get along that comes into play.

I agree, Miss T, it would be boring. I have done the we-all-agree-so-why-bother-to-post thing on BBs. It doesn't do much to improve any of us nor is it any fun.

The point is how we go about disagreeing. I think we can do that without name-calling and meanness and still keep it interesting.

 

[MzChrista]

Re: Me

Most of the time, I post with humor. I also post seriously. I have been misquoted and misunderstood both ways. So what?

Ms Worthy, you made assumptions on what I said without bothering to ask me what I meant. You disagreed with me without finding out if in fact we were in disagreement. It happens all the time. I do it to others and it is done to me in return.

It is the very nature of this medium that fosters this kind of misunderstanding.

as I have said many times on this very Forum. the computer is a poor communicator.

I post here cause I choose to, when I choose not to post anymore I will leave.

Eb

Eb, I know sometimes I have pissed you off, and there been a time or two I thought you was totally full of shit. But I know you righteous in your way and so its all good, and I am sure you feel that way about me.
If people dont cut some slack when they dont understand, aint no point to talk in the first place.

 

[MsWorthy]

Re: Me

Most of the time, I post with humor. I also post seriously. I have been misquoted and misunderstood both ways. So what?

Ms Worthy, you made assumptions on what I said without bothering to ask me what I meant. You disagreed with me without finding out if in fact we were in disagreement. It happens all the time. I do it to others and it is done to me in return.

It is the very nature of this medium that fosters this kind of misunderstanding.

as I have said many times on this very Forum. the computer is a poor communicator.

I post here cause I choose to, when I choose not to post anymore I will leave.

Eb

And we did it without name calling or ugliness. *smiles*

 

[MsWorthy]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

I was not specifically talking about a BDSM relationship. but since you insist I was, evidently you can read minds.

Eb, I was responding to Caroline.

But my assumption is that when we talk about bdsm we mean a relationship - of some type.

If you feel that I have insulted you in some way, I apologize. That is never my intention. I would much rather be *wrong* than insult. ~smiles~ My ego is large but I needn't *be right* if it comes with the expense of hurting/insulting anyone's feelings.

 

[~Dream~]

Re: Re: Re: Re: all i knnow is

Dream, I get paid a lot of money to be constructive. This is a porn site. Not Yale University.

Eb

With all due rspect Eb, even if this IS a porn site ,as you say,is there really any harm in us using our time constructively?
I mean hell,everyone comes here to have fun ,hopefully ,thus the beauty of the internet,butHow we choose to HAVE the fun is what really counts..
Some people who are SERIOUSLy wanting to know about this lifestyle,myself included wonder how we are to "look up to"those in the more ,if you will leadership roles"if all that is going on is time being wasted on "bantering back and forth"?JMHO

 

[MzChrista]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

Eb, I was responding to Caroline.

But my assumption is that when we talk about bdsm we mean a relationship - of some type.

If you feel that I have insulted you in some way, I apologize. That is never my intention. I would much rather be *wrong* than insult. ~smiles~ My ego is large but I needn't *be right* if it comes with the expense of hurting/insulting anyone's feelings.

Thats where you are coming from, thats cool. But no, not everyone in BDSM is oriented to relationships. Some of us like to play around and dont care for "having" doms or subs.

 

[CarolineOh]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Scared Off

Thats where you are coming from, thats cool. But no, not everyone in BDSM is oriented to relationships. Some of us like to play around and dont care for "having" doms or subs.

The relationship you have with a play partner, even if are only with them one time, is a relationship of a sort though isn't it? You still have to establish a basis of trust and understanding, even if it is for one scene, don't you?