Very well put, you sound lovelySuch a mid searching thread with many interesting viewpoints. I too try to rationalise in my old age and end up going round in ever expanding circles. I always considered myself "straight" although I secretly enjoyed wearing lingerie for solo pleasure. In my mind that just made me weird.
In latter years whilst still enjoying M-F sex I started to yearn for partial sex with other dressers and had a few very limited dressing experiences. By partial I mean BJ, JO relationships so I suppose that made me bisexual. However I have never had any wish for anal play either giving or receiving and I cannot decide if that precludes me from being gay or homosexual.
I now have no idea what I am label wise but as I age I really couldn't care less either way and neither should others be bothered by their own feelings. Just do what you enjoy and feels right for you, obviously within the confines of legality.