Strangest moments/things to happen during sex

[moZRMe]

Very entertaining thread to catch up on. I love those moments when all you can do is laugh.

Here's my contribution, one of my ex's very much enjoyed going at it quite rough. I had just moved into a new place and we had the house to ourselves. We're going at it and after a little while I here this almighty crack, freaked out for a little but nothing immediately obvious, so we go right back to it. We both finishing and are laying cuddling afterwards when I realise my bed has a bit of a sag in the middle. Turns out, we had snapped three bed slats and the main metal reinforcement under it. I was quite impressed with that.

Another time I was at an ex's house (she lived with her parents at the time) and we were fooling around. Eventually getting to that awkward quiet as you can sex that you have when parents are near. Completely unannounced her mother walks in. I stop dead still mouth slightly agape, clearly the jig is up. She talks to my ex for a bit and then leaves. Found out later she wasn't any the wiser that I was in her daughter at the time of the conversation. Quite entertaining.

Looking forward to reading more!

 

[DanS92]

While me and an old friend were going at it we forgot we were on a futon and flipped it over...

 

[Confi]

With an ex-girlfriend. We were pretty drunk after a party and she was talking to a friend of hers on the phone while giving me head, which in turn was incredibly hot. Her friend on the phone dared her to take a facial (we had done that before as she loves cum, so she accepted).

On the other side of the phone it would of sounded like...

"Ok, hold the phone... mmm.. mmmmm... MY NOSE... STOP... AHHH".

In short, up the nose. Not on purpose, mind you.

 

[bicurious19]

Not exactly strange, but unexpected.
As I'm grinding on a shemale hookers big cock, I came without touching my dick, it caught me off guard because i didn't know that I could do that, plus, after cuming I lose interest quickly, but this time as I'm cumming, she picked up the pace and my ogasm lasted about 5 times longer then normal!

 

[bernett69]

actually the TAP TAP TAP on the window from a cops flashlight is a real show stopper.

a very interesting predicament indeed.

 

[NaturistLouise]

Sex Outside

Hubby and I love sex outside. We were on what we thought was a remote beach. While totally naked and in the missionary position, hubby looks up to see a fisherman watching us through binoculars. As we were close to home, hubby was concerned that we might be recognized and I would be embarrassed, so he rolled off me. I was so close to orgasm, I made him continue orally. However, Hubby lost his erection.

 

[StrongMaster7]

The night of the big cocktail party in college freshman year, I made a move and got this hottie to go up to my room. Locked the door, got her half naked and was half-way home when she said she didn't feel well. I looked up and she was about to blow chow. I grabbed a nearby pitcher and she puked into it.

After a minute she was feeling good enough to go again, but she insisted I get rid of the pitcher. I should have thrown it out the window, but instead I put on some pants and went out into the hall with it. I walked all the way to the bathroom and dumped it and rinsed it out. I got back to the room and re-engaged. I went down on her and made her cum a couple of times and as I was ready to fuck, her roommate started banging on the door and would not stop. She left me with blue balls.

The kicker was that a bunch of my friends claimed to have been watching from the window, but they only saw the puke and didn't get to see me giving her the two orgasms.

One other time a guy on our floor in the dorm was working at a hospital and could get condoms cheap. My roommate and I each bought a box. I was fucking my gf in her car. She was riding me, her big tits bouncing in my face. As I was about to cum, it suddenly felt "too good". I pulled out and sure enough, the rubber had broken. She stroked me off and I blew a load on her tits.

The next day my roommate asked if I had used those condoms. I said I had and he asked if they were ok. He had one break on him too! We threw the rest of them away!

 

[Ferreus]

Once we were making love on the floor. I was on my back with my husband on top and I was really close to orgasm. That's when the dog came into the room and started to lick me all over my face.

Hubby held my arms so I couldn't stop her from licking me and kept pounding away on me at the same time. My mood was blown though and I couldn't cum.

Lol. Ewww, doggie breath.

Once I had a cat attack my leg while I was going at it, sharp nails in my thigh certainly are distracting! Ha.

 

[brunette1989]

A couple of years ago there was a guy I used to hook up with alot and lost my virginity to and during the second time we had sex he dislocated his shoulder! We weren't dating or anything, just hooking up so it was really awkward when I had to slide out from underneath him with him about to cry from the pain, then put clothes on him and dress myself then go get his friend who was in the house and ring the ambulance!! lol not fun at all but a good story

 

[bicuriouscd]

You must have given him quite a wild ride if he dislocated his shoulder !
Did you ever see him after that ?

 

[brunette1989]

You must have given him quite a wild ride if he dislocated his shoulder !
Did you ever see him after that ?

haha I wish it were because of that reason! He had dislocated his shoulder a few times before so it happened without much effort. I think I saw him a couple of times after, no sex though, just kissing and falling asleep, I didn't want to risk that injury again!

 

[bicuriouscd]

I think I saw him a couple of times after, no sex though, just kissing and falling asleep

No wonder it was only a couple of times !!

 

[jan_vjj]

my first time, like many girls, was after a dance in hs with an older guy. i assumed he had experience, so kind of let him do his thing. he fingered me until i was literally panting, then mounted me in the back seat of his dads car. after a few strokes i was very, ummm, accepting of his cock and was fucking back (my fingers had taken care of my cherry long before). not too long after that he came (of course he'd told me he'd pull out, and of course that didn't happen), so he handed me a napkin as he quickly got up and off of me. i slid over to find my bra, when he looked down in shock at the dark wet spot we'd left on the velour seats, and said "jesus, did you pee or something?!" i looked down and was mortified, and embarrassed, but insisted, no in fact i had not, and maybe his load contributed some of the mess. he swore up and down I'd had "an accident", that he shouldn't have messed with a virgin, etc etc, and we didn't talk on the ride home (or much at all thereafter). i've since realized that's just how i am... fortunately most guys seem to like "juicy" girls!

 

[lituserj]

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[robyne1223]

Oh!!! One time, my then-boyfriend's dog ate a used condom out of the trash..... We were horrified and called the vet, who of course laughed and asked who it was better for - us or the dog.

My boyfriends dog ate 2 condoms and shit them out a few days later

 

[ladyJ154]

I've had a guy yell at his gf just before she was going to make my night so much better in the tent with just the two of us ...not cool for interrupting

 

[Up4fun&69]

After my divorce, I hooked up with a female body builder and personal trainer. It was in between events so the overall tone was there but not the extreme definition in her body. Still she had a nice 38D bust. As it was the first time for me since the divorce and it was the first time between us, I wanted to make it special and went all out with the wine and candles, etc. So we started making out hot and heavy and then the clothes started coming off fast and furious. I was really anxious to get my hands and lips on those breasts and reached behind, unsnapped the bra, slipped it over her arms and flung it away as I went to town on those nipples. But just as things were heating up another notch and the pants were starting to come off, we smelled something funny. Not her wet pussy but her bra. I had flung it onto one of the candles and it caught fire, burning and melting all over the coffee table, even burning the coffee table in the process.

We were able to put out the fire, which, after a round of laughing, put out our fires for the night. I replaced the bra but not the table while I stayed at that apartment. It was funny trying to tell people who noticed why the table was burned and why there was something melted on a wood table.

 

[raffi_sandoval]

similar here. Our dog snuck into the room and stuck his nose in my butt. Was so cold it deflated me in an instant. Funny now but was not then well was pretty funny then too.

omg i've had the exact same thing happen!

 

[Alexandra831]

This didn't happen to me.. but to my husband co-workers sister and husband.
She had to leave work immediately from work after being on the phone.. My husband asked her about it.. cause he didn't see her until the next day. Well it was her sister on the phone.. she was screaming and crying telling her to hurry over.. she need her to give them a ride. she said that her sister was still freaking out screaming when she got to the house. She told her to calm down.. it was then she notice her brother inlaw.. his shirt was covered in blood and he was pale and walking slowly. She ask what the fuck happened.. and he mumbles back she couldnt make out what he said and said what again.. He said more loudly " I broke my dick" she had to drive them to the Emergancy room.. Apperately the were fucking hard..and he was slamming into her .. pulling out the slamming back in.. one to he pulled out.. and going back in hit her pelvic bone.. resolting in splitting his penis.. I didn't even know it was possible..

Anyone ever hear of something like that before?

 

[PaulBlart]

We have a pool in our backyard and I like to skinny dip at night. Our backyard is pitch black at night so getting caught is almost out of the question. My wife isn't into it, but we started fooling around in the pool. She had on a tankini, I, of course, was totally naked. I pulled her bottom off and had her against the wall of the pool thrusting away when her parents came out our backdoor for a pop in visit. They were used to the two of us being very affectionate and thought we were just hugging. So, they sat down next to the pool to talk for a bit, their daughter naked from the waist down with my cock inside her and me completely naked with no towel and no clothes. We, of course, stayed down in the water and luckily they didn't stay long. We had a good laugh and then finished what we started uninterrupted this time.

 

[Emmcee20]

We were at my ex's flat and she and I were enjoyng a bit of playful bondage. She had me tied to the four posts of the bed face up and spread-eagled. She was having fun teasing and tickling when there came a knock on the front door. She went to answer it leaving the bedroom door open. It was a mutual close lady friend who'd popped in for a visit. The flat layout was such that, if she walked in close to the wall she would see straight into the bedroom - fortunately she didn't! But listening to them chatting, she had called in to borrow a book that was in the study down the hall and would need to pass the door. I heard her tell my ex, "I know where it is, I'll get it." Fortunately my ex told her she'd moved it and went down the hall smiling at me still bound on the bed AND leaving the door wide open. As she came back with the book she wandered in briefly to stroke my cock and called to our friend to say she had it. I could hear her coming towards the door. My ex smiled again and met her in the hallway before she got there and gave her the book. Our friend then left and the unexpectedly advanced teasing session then continued.

 

[chatman2]

chatman2

When my secretary and I were screwing on a moving pad in the back spare office when I got up a very large pool of blood was on the pad under us and it scared us both. It seemed to have been very little if any as she cleaned up and I was worried about her. The next day at work she put my mind to ease as her period just started. Lucky it never happened in any of my car screwings. She told me that was the shortest and lightest periods she had ever had as I must have pumped most of it out during our sex.

 

[NordicOz]

This one happened just about a week ago. Girl was on top riding me cowgirl when all of a sudden I feel one great big giant crack on my nose, I thought she hit me Californication style. After the initial shock and my hands covering it still I feel the warm trickle of blood begin streaming down my nose, into my eyes and down my cheeks. At this Point I decide to head to the bathroom to examine the damage, it's a 2cm gash on the bridge of my nose.

I ask her what had gotten into her when she swears it wasn't her and that she had her head back, eyes closed in the moment. Then she begins freaking out when she sees how much blood is coming out of my face.

Turns out a full bottle of my Cologne had fallen off the headboard where I keep a few things now and then and fallen directly on my nose on the sharpest part of the lid. Keep in mind that my headboard would have been at least 1m above where my head was and the bottle was a full 200ml with a hexagonal lid with very sharp edges.

Not much to do but laugh about it and try to figure out an excuse for work the next morning.

 

[lustingmoment]

This happen with a adventurous ex girlfriend..
We would spend a day in bed naked and laying around teasing and pleasuring when the urge would come on. We would open a book on karmasutra and have a lot of fun and experiment.
Then that afternoon we got hungry and got a heap of fruit, chocolate, whipped cream and honey.

we were eating some fruit and she slid the banana into her wet swollen pussy!!!i went down and ate the banana and pulled it out while eating.
She then dipped her hand into the hony and rubbed it onto my shaft and rubbed up and down my cock and trimmed pubes were coated in golden honey. Then she deep throated me.
This was great and sticky mess..

she then cleaned and licked my honey cock..then she laid back and spread her legs and her shaved pussy was wet and swollen. I got a large strawberry and teased her pussy with it and played and pushed in and out her pussy until POP in it went into he vagina and lost....

I told her a babies arm cam out and stole the srawberry. so funny. All she was saying was GET IT OUT!!!!

james True story...

 

[Calliesdad2010]

Its more painful than strange....

I was fucking a woman from behind and leaned down to rub her clit

at the exact same time she lifted her head


saw stars.......


quite a cock block.....