Sub Club for females

[CutieMouse]

Leaving all subjects open, I know ask my third question:

What is your definition of and
What is the deal with the very popularity and use of a concept better known as "MindFuck"?

My "definition" is to grin wickedly, and try to decide which of AA's old posts to quote for an example.

*chuckling*

ETA

Found what I was thinking of - AngelicAssassin on the mindfuck.

 

[BiBunny]

And (as I liked to joke with a dear friend) - when one is doing this online, it's much easy to be nicer to one's pink bits than might occur face to face. Self preservation and all that.

Yep, that, too. Other people can hurt you a lot more than you're going to be able to hurt yourself.

 

[bakedbeams]

As I've said previously I've not had an online relationship. I can only speak from my own emotional base, I think that it would be more difficult for me.

I need to be touched, crave it. So in that respect I'd find it incredibly difficult to maintain an online. I would need the physical intimacy of the other person.

I think I get your drift nh23, is it that you cant be as emotionally invested as you would in real life? I'm thinking that its one thing to type that you are sitting at the feet of another, but its another thing to be physically sitting at the feet of another.

Its all just personal opinion in the end

 

[bakedbeams]

Yep, that, too. Other people can hurt you a lot more than you're going to be able to hurt yourself.

Oh my, aint that the truth.

 

[nh23]

I think I get your drift nh23, is it that you cant be as emotionally invested as you would in real life?

Pretty much. I don't doubt that they have genuine feelings. However I wouldn't even place it in the same category. I can't understand loving someone you've never touched. Liking, obsessing over, crushing, sure. Love..you've never even smelled his worst farts.

 

[BiBunny]

Pretty much. I don't doubt that they have genuine feelings. However I wouldn't even place it in the same category. I can't understand loving someone you've never touched. Liking, obsessing over, crushing, sure. Love..you've never even smelled his worst farts.

Ok, that settles it. I'm really in love with my Domly ones. *Gags* Master, in particular, can peel the paint off the walls with his farts. Ugh.

 

[KinkE]

Google infatuation, obsession, new love. The majority of the time not "real" rational feelings.

Thats seems unfair to me.

I know the real life experiences I have lived and how deep I've loved in them, and now I also know this style. I am pretty much aware that its a journey and I've a ways to go, but I will repeat and stress I know the difference, and there is one, in my experinece.

Reality for me is not inherent upon anyone agreeing with me, nor does their disagreement invalidate my feelings.

I am not implying you are wrong, I was just saying in other words.... "not for me"

No hard feelings hey?
All for the sake of learning.

 

[nh23]

Thats seems unfair to me.

I know the real life experiences I have lived and how deep I've loved in them, and now I also know this style. I am pretty much aware that its a journey and I've a ways to go, but I will repeat and stress I know the difference, and there is one, in my experinece.

Reality for me is not inherent upon anyone agreeing with me, nor does their disagreement invalidate my feelings.

I am not implying you are wrong, I was just saying in other words.... "not for me"

No hard feelings hey?
All for the sake of learning.

How old are you? And how many people have you loved? I'm curious.

 

[bakedbeams]

Ok, that settles it. I'm really in love with my Domly ones. *Gags* Master, in particular, can peel the paint off the walls with his farts. Ugh.

*Roaring with laughter* now have to wipe my morning coffee off my laptop

 

[BiBunny]

*Roaring with laughter* now have to wipe my morning coffee off my laptop

Sorry about that.

 

[bakedbeams]

Thats seems unfair to me.

Hey KinkE,

I dont think that whether r/l or online your emotions are invalid. They are very real. What did Cutie call it NRE?

I also understand the euphoria you could be feeling at having reached a point of 'discovery'. After many many vanilla encounters I know that I certainly felt it this time around. I also know that now I couldnt go back to vanilla even if I wanted to.

 

[MisterSir]

For reasons not necessary to the debate, I read this thread and have just finished.

KinkE - you are insane and marching headlong down a path that is, more likely than not by orders of magnitude, going to end with you hurt and cursing yourself. I believe in the concept of love at first sight, but that it's incredibly rare anyway and just gets more unlikely when it occurs over the Internet as well, where you don't get all of a person's personality, just the bits that he or she aims to show you.

You are not in love. The closest you are is infatuated. You've been with this man for two weeks, and because he's showing you bits of life you haven't experienced already, you're willing to throw yourself at his feet - that's not healthy and it is going to end in tears, or as I described it to somebody else, a trainwreck. This entire topic, for that matter, is like a slow motion trainwreck and we're the people up on the hills, screaming at the driver to put the brakes on but with a tiny desire to see the train crash just so we can see the disaster. When it all goes wrong, promise you'll come back and tell us all how bad it hurts. I swear not to say that I told you so, but I can't speak for anyone else.

 

[nh23]

For reasons not necessary to the debate, I read this thread and have just finished.

KinkE - you are insane and marching headlong down a path that is, more likely than not by orders of magnitude, going to end with you hurt and cursing yourself. I believe in the concept of love at first sight, but that it's incredibly rare anyway and just gets more unlikely when it occurs over the Internet as well, where you don't get all of a person's personality, just the bits that he or she aims to show you.

You are not in love. The closest you are is infatuated. You've been with this man for two weeks, and because he's showing you bits of life you haven't experienced already, you're willing to throw yourself at his feet - that's not healthy and it is going to end in tears, or as I described it to somebody else, a trainwreck. This entire topic, for that matter, is like a slow motion trainwreck and we're the people up on the hills, screaming at the driver to put the brakes on but with a tiny desire to see the train crash just so we can see the disaster. When it all goes wrong, promise you'll come back and tell us all how bad it hurts. I swear not to say that I told you so, but I can't speak for anyone else.

Holy crap! I think I'm in love with you! SHHH don't tell anyone!

 

[KinkE]

Hey KinkE,

I dont think that whether r/l or online your emotions are invalid. They are very real. What did Cutie call it NRE?

I also understand the euphoria you could be feeling at having reached a point of 'discovery'. After many many vanilla encounters I know that I certainly felt it this time around. I also know that now I couldnt go back to vanilla even if I wanted to.

Thanks for the reasurrance,
I am certain I alluded to the fact I question the intensity of my emotions somewhere back inh this thread... ie "shiny new toy"

I'm grateful for the warnings as they seem to be to be a way of showing ya'll care I dont get hurt

thanks again

 

[MisterSir]

Thanks for the reasurrance,
I am certain I alluded to the fact I question the intensity of my emotions somewhere back inh this thread... ie "shiny new toy"

I'm grateful for the warnings as they seem to be to be a way of showing ya'll care I dont get hurt

I don't know, I could use a minion, the Sinestro Corps is always looking for new blood. Just promise me that when it does all go wrong and the man you love turns out to be a cunt, you'll keep us updated as you go through the five stages of grief.

 

[ecstaticsub]

We have had this on-line vs "in real life" discussion over and over again. I have come to the conclusion that it honestly depends on the person. There are some who simply can't do on-line not only that that don't get it either. It is similar to comparing people who "get" BDSM and vanillas who think any man who hits a woman is a monster who belongs in prison.

I'm not totally on-line but I don't see my PYL very often. I became infatuated with him the day I heard his voice on the phone. I fell in love with him a few months later, but before we met in person. I fell in love with my husband on the first date. Over 20 years later we are still happily married. There has only been one other person I have loved before. I know what love is. My PYL and I are still together after more than 4 years. Our relationship doesn't go on hold when we hang up the phone, or when I close the lid to my laptop. It continues. It continues in the same way that my love for my husband continued for the 12 months he was deployed, twice.

I will never say on-line or a LDR is the same or equal to a PYL and pyl living in the same household but it it much more than some here give it credit.

KinkE You may be in love, or it may be just infatuation or the excitement of something new. Take your time, don't do anything stupid, slow down and get to know your Master. Learn as much as you can from others. Trust your instincts. Have fun.

pm me if I can ever be of help

 

[nh23]

We have had this on-line vs "in real life" discussion over and over again. I have come to the conclusion that it honestly depends on the person. There are some who simply can't do on-line not only that that don't get it either. It is similar to comparing people who "get" BDSM and vanillas who think any man who hits a woman is a monster who belongs in prison.

I'm not totally on-line but I don't see my PYL very often. I became infatuated with him the day I heard his voice on the phone. I fell in love with him a few months later, but before we met in person. I fell in love with my husband on the first date. Over 20 years later we are still happily married. There has only been one other person I have loved before. I know what love is. My PYL and I are still together after more than 4 years. Our relationship doesn't go on hold when we hang up the phone, or when I close the lid to my laptop. It continues. It continues in the same way that my love for my husband continued for the 12 months he was deployed, twice.

I will never say on-line or a LDR is the same or equal to a PYL and pyl living in the same household but it it much more than some here give it credit.

KinkE You may be in love, or it may be just infatuation or the excitement of something new. Take your time, don't do anything stupid, slow down and get to know your Master. Learn as much as you can from others. Trust your instincts. Have fun.

pm me if I can ever be of help

You also have the security of knowing your Master isn't a 13 year old boy fucking off online. You've seen him face to face.

I'm not a total prude about it. KinkE and I PM'd back and forth. I explained a little about my feelings on this. It is hard for me to understand, however it's very hard for me to love. I'm not the type that loves anyone easily. So there may be my difference of opinion.

 

[ecstaticsub]

You also have the security of knowing your Master isn't a 13 year old boy fucking off online. You've seen him face to face.

I'm not a total prude about it. KinkE and I PM'd back and forth. I explained a little about my feelings on this. It is hard for me to understand, however it's very hard for me to love. I'm not the type that loves anyone easily. So there may be my difference of opinion.

I respect your opinion. I don't have a cynically view of love or relationships. Maybe it is because I never had a broken heart. I've never been in love with someone who ended up betraying or really hurting me.


I wonder if anyone who has an on-line relationship really is just on-line? With all the internet chat options with voice a person doesn't have to give out a phone number in order to have a voice conversation. I know for myself I moved from IMing to a phone call very quickly (as in the 2nd time we chatted) I didn't see a picture of him for a while but it was very easy to tell by talking to him that he was the age who he said he was.

 

[KinkE]

Crazy is as Crazy does?

For reasons not necessary to the debate, I read this thread and have just finished.

KinkE - you are insane and marching headlong down a path that is, more likely than not by orders of magnitude, going to end with you hurt and cursing yourself. I believe in the concept of love at first sight, but that it's incredibly rare anyway and just gets more unlikely when it occurs over the Internet as well, where you don't get all of a person's personality, just the bits that he or she aims to show you.

You are not in love. The closest you are is infatuated. You've been with this man for two weeks, and because he's showing you bits of life you haven't experienced already, you're willing to throw yourself at his feet - that's not healthy and it is going to end in tears, or as I described it to somebody else, a trainwreck. This entire topic, for that matter, is like a slow motion trainwreck and we're the people up on the hills, screaming at the driver to put the brakes on but with a tiny desire to see the train crash just so we can see the disaster. When it all goes wrong, promise you'll come back and tell us all how bad it hurts. I swear not to say that I told you so, but I can't speak for anyone else.

I don't know, I could use a minion, the Sinestro Corps is always looking for new blood. Just promise me that when it does all go wrong and the man you love turns out to be a cunt, you'll keep us updated as you go through the five stages of grief.

Dear MisterSir,
With all due respect, I want you to realize I am not going to engage myself in a discussion or debate on what my idea of love is, whether or not what I am feeling is love (though I am certain I have stated over and over I myself question this) or my mental state of mind.

That is not the point of this thread, and cuz I hardly think I should have to direct the course it takes, I will simply opt to keep myself out of your loop.

I totally believe in and respect the fact that you are entitled to your opinion and on my behalf you are more than welcome to post and comment here at any time if you wish. I am hoping to remain open-minded enough to listen and learn from those with more experience than I.

A beautiful woman once told me that there is wisdom in everyone and I trust I will see it in you as well, and in that I thank you for your contributions.

I want to clarify to you that through my eyes, it is apparent and obvious we come from much different backgrounds and my life experience could very well be as opposite from yours as night is to day, so I have no problem accepting what you say as a truth you believe in, however, it is not mine.

I am not afraid of pain or heartache. I believe if I risk nothing I will get nothing. I strive to give 100% of myself to everything I do, otherwise it isnt worth my time.

In closing I share with you one of my favorite authors, Mr. Kahlil Gibran, and I hope you enjoy

Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
Excerpt chapter 8 Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet

 

[bakedbeams]

I will never say on-line or a LDR is the same or equal to a PYL and pyl living in the same household but it it much more than some here give it credit.

KinkE You may be in love, or it may be just infatuation or the excitement of something new. Take your time, don't do anything stupid, slow down and get to know your Master. Learn as much as you can from others. Trust your instincts. Have fun.

You are a wise and eloquent woman

 

[ecstaticsub]

You are a wise and eloquent woman

Thank you. That is so sweet. I needed that this morning.

 

[HisSexyPet]

You also have the security of knowing your Master isn't a 13 year old boy fucking off online. You've seen him face to face.

I wonder if anyone who has an on-line relationship really is just on-line? With all the internet chat options with voice a person doesn't have to give out a phone number in order to have a voice conversation. I know for myself I moved from IMing to a phone call very quickly (as in the 2nd time we chatted) I didn't see a picture of him for a while but it was very easy to tell by talking to him that he was the age who he said he was.

Most laptops today are equipped with web cams. As for desktops, webcams are $15 at Wal-Mart. With all the options on IMs now a days it is easy to determine if he is a 13 year old boy.

B and I knew each other online through gaming together for several months before we took it further. And three years later we came to where we are now. ES gave great advice which I totally agree with. "KinkE You may be in love, or it may be just infatuation or the excitement of something new. Take your time, don't do anything stupid, slow down and get to know your Master. Learn as much as you can from others. Trust your instincts. Have fun."

 

[Netzach]

And for other news, I didn't seriously entertain the prospect of submitting to someone with anything resembling depth of intent till a decade, a major illness entailing a year of showing up just to see me with no sex on the horizon just an afternoon to rub my head and talk to me in calming tones, and his unequivocal willingness to submit to me. I require demonstrated trust, and I'm very much Dominant.

I'm well outside the average. But I'm not the only person like me, I don't think. I'm not saying most people should be like me. I still don't see myself as "a submissive" because I don't view new partners as "oh I'm going to submit to that person." I don't have fantasies about submission outside the context of thinking about the man I switch with.

How this IS relevant is this:

My feelings of love for him are nice, but they don't tell me what kind of man he is and if he loves me and if he's going to be there next week. Only consistent behavior over time tells you that.

 

[CutieMouse]

And for other news, I didn't seriously entertain the prospect of submitting to someone with anything resembling depth of intent till a decade, a major illness entailing a year of showing up just to see me with no sex on the horizon just an afternoon to rub my head and talk to me in calming tones, and his unequivocal willingness to submit to me. I require demonstrated trust, and I'm very much Dominant.

I'm well outside the average. But I'm not the only person like me, I don't think. I'm not saying most people should be like me. I still don't see myself as "a submissive" because I don't view new partners as "oh I'm going to submit to that person." I don't have fantasies about submission outside the context of thinking about the man I switch with.

How this IS relevant is this:

My feelings of love for him are nice, but they don't tell me what kind of man he is and if he loves me and if he's going to be there next week. Only consistent behavior over time tells you that.

..


Yup.

 

[JMohegan]

Three weeks ago I would've agreed with you on this, but i'm telling ya'll this man has captured me in a way that no real life relationship ever has. I crave him all day long, my mind dizzy from anticipation of how he is going to take his pleasure in my body, and I am on the edge of reason.
I have loved before and I loved getting love back and feeling appreciated, but this relationship has raised the bar to levels I had no idea I could attain.
What he makes me feel is real, I cum harder, longer, and sweeter.... again wondering WTF?

From a D's perspective, I find this type of response very flattering, and certainly entertaining to boot.

With regard to that which I find deeply satisfying, however, there's really no adequate substitute for the love of a woman who knows me, inside and out. One who has seen me at my best and worst, most noble and most callow, smartest and least clever, most thrilling and most mundane, strongest and weakest moments..... and loves and reveres me, more than any other person on earth, regardless.

I am in no way trying to impugn the value of your erotic experiences, or question the reality of your feelings. Just noting what I personally value, most deeply, as a D.