Submissive 'Thought for the Day' Calendar 2007

[graceanne]

February 2nd - words of CutieMouse

EG is right; my objection is to the use of the word "true"- particularly when dealing with someone who has little or no understading of BDSM.

"True" implies that if you don't *NEED* to submit (how subjective is that?) that you are fake.

"True" implies that if you aren't black and white 100% either way, you are fake.

"True" implies that anyone who doesn't practice BDSM in XYZ manner (with the stamp of approval on their ass to prove it), is fake.

When I first began to explore my feelings with regards to power in relationships, I absorbed a lot of the "True submissives are X/True dominants are Z" stuff... IMO the "True" argument is a bunch of hogwash, as BDSM hinges on the needs of the individual parties involved in each relationship.

Under the "True" argument, it would be easy for one to claim that Shanky isn't a "True" Top/Dom- he's a cross dressing bisexual guy who spent quite a while as a bottom. You could argue Netz isn't a "True" Domme, because she tends to be pretty laid back about a lot of shit. You could argue that I'm not a "True" submissive, because I'd refuse to consider a realtionship with a Lover who wouldn't let me Top him- yet I most comfortably ID myself as submissive. You could just as easily argue Kajira and Catalina are "True" as they are slaves; Marquis is "True" as he is one hell of an Alpha male (with mini-harem), or that EG, AngelicAssassin, RJMasters, or DVS are "True" because (to my kowledge) none of them are interested in doing anything other than deliciously wicked things to a willing subject... In actuality, we are all exactly who we are, experiencing BDSM in a manner that works for our particular lives, and our personal truths, not some pre-conceived checklist-style notion of what a "True" Dominant or submissive is...



How do you know if your a sub or dom?

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 3rd - words of lil slave rose

"*shrugs* i've seen it go both ways, some say coming out of a 'nilla relationship into a D/s that it improved their communication (i'm talking a married 'nilla couple who decide to go D/s) i've seen others say that's not the case. for me and my relationship, yes the communication is MUCH better than ANY relationship i've ever been in, as is the trust factor. i've never trusted anyone with my life the way i do Master, and that comes from how communicative we are and yes i do think it has alot to do with the dynamic of our relationship. i'm not denying that we in the lifestyle have our fair share of liars, fakes, idiots, etc....but i think we are talking more in the REAL D/s relationships and not those that are in to 'pretend' and no, i don't think that everyone will agree with me and that's fine too, we are all different, and all believe different things....but i, personally, believe that in OUR relationship, because it is D/s we DO have better communication"

A Question : Do You Think People In A D/s Relationship Communicate Better?

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 4th - words of serijules


"I struggle with attention issues. Because I am deaf, I need a more focused attention than most people. Holding a conversation requires more of an effort with me, so I'm not always involved in conversations with much ease. I just spent the last week with my kink family, and while I was around everyone often, I also often felt lonely and in need of a more direct and singular attention because I can't participate in general discussions without a lot of frustration coming up. I need time where attention and discussion is focused on me on a level that I can both comprehend and participate in, which I can't do very well in a group. I can spend hours being around Ma'am when others are present and not actually interact with her very much in those hours, so after a bit I start getting clingy and anxious.

So...I need a partner that is willing to understand those differences and understand why I need the focused attention that I do. It's extremely frustrating to be around people for hours on end and walk away from the gathering not being able to tell you what anyone was talking about, what the jokes were, what people were laughing at , what that fight between two people was about, why someone left early or came late, etc. I don't pick up any of that stuff.

Ma'am is great about this....she understands why physically I need to be close to her when around other people and that I need time spent one on one talking about things, having opportunities to ask questions and smooth over confusions, etc. She acts as my interpreter when I don't understand something, and her closeness helps me from feeling even more anxious and confused. I worry sometimes that my desire to sit by her, hold her hand or just generally be where she is will come across as too clingy, but we get so little time together that during those times, I just don't know any other way to be. I think it would be different if we were together 24/7ish and the need to be near her so much would be lessened, but in generaly I am a pretty clingy person just for different reasons than most people would think."


Attention Whore

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 5th - words of Quint

"T and I did a similar game to the M&M one described above. He fed me Froot Loops, first singly, then in combinations and I had to correctly identify the color. Considering I couldn't tell any of the flavors apart anyway, it was total blind luck. The best was when he would feed me about 5 in a row and tell me which he was feeding me, then tell me to recite them backwards. He kept yelling random colors at me and I got horribly flustered at what should have been an easy win. It was fun."

Do You Have Any Favourite Games?

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 6th - words of the_pet

"Everyone has pretty much covered it but i would like to add that i agree with the others that if you're going to pull this off it's going to require an aggressive mindset on your part. Rape is a violent act, not loving, not tender, not FUN. Therefore IMO it would require brutality on your part to a level that may not be what she bargained for; communication on limits would is critical. If she REALLY wants to imitate being raped then she needs to be prepared for pain and fear. You say she gets instantly hot over a simple hair tug.... how does she feel about a bitch slap across the face that makes her jaw feel like it's two inches over, while her face burns, unable to bring her hands up protect herself through the pain while you're screaming at her to shut up? Maybe you could get her to write down exactly what she thinks constitutes her version of a rape then take it up a notch or two as a surprise.

Have fun but be careful on this one!"

Question About Doing Consensual Rape Scenes?

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 7th - words of liberatedslave

"I agree with the other posters here. You could argue that 24/7 D/s is an ultimate act compared with some who see their partners seldom or have a purely online relationship. In the end though, these comparisons are pointless and to me serve no purpose.

Ultimate deos mean final and so it's not a word easily applied to something that is or will become a huge part of your everyday way of life. I know that Sir and I will continue to take our dynamic in different directions and push our boundaries.

That to me is important, that there is no 'final' great act of submission. Our relationship will grow everyday. Even if we have one day ticked off all the boxes we want to so far as individual acts are concerned, we'll still live and learn together."

The Ultimate Act Of Submission...

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 8th - words of ownedsubgal

"actually, my point really is that my Master CAN abuse me, at times does abuse me, that abuse DOES have a place in our relationship and therefore in the D/s M/s lifestyle. i think in the other thread i define what abuse is to me, and under that definition, abuse is a part of my relationship.

however, i have consented to such treatment because i have consented to be his...with the understanding that once his, there are no limits, no restrictions, on his power over me.

where i said there was no abuse, was regarding the idea of "abuse of power." there can be no such thing as an abuse of his power over me.

so rose, when i say that i went into this with the understanding that he would not "cut off my arms" and such, it was also with the understanding that anything is possible under the sun, people change (i.e. go crazy or whatever) and if one day he woke up and decided he wanted my arms cut off, that is what would happen and he would every right to do that. and yes, i would define such an action as abuse, as would he, but "abuse" is not a dirty word in this house.

you said you would never want to be afraid of your Master. well that could be where some of our differences in viewpoint lie...i feel quite the opposite, that it is a good and healthy thing for me as a slave to fear the One who owns me. if i didn't, the sort of respect, adoration, and reverence i need to feel for a Master couldn't exist. likewise, he couldn't achieve the particular type of conditioning and pliability (is that a word? lol) that he needs from a slave. He made certain from early on that i feared him and he makes sure that i continue to fear him as the years go on. it's just one more thing that gives him power over me."

The Blank Check Of Consent

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 9th - words of Chicklet

"No.

If you want to pull it from that line, I don't think it's genetic, but it could possibly be something built in by how you're raised. My roommate and I were discussing this last night, because I, for instance, was only spanked ONCE as a child. And I don't think that I would or could possibly like it in adult life if it'd ever happened in childhood. My roommate, on the other hand, was spanked OFTEN, and thinks that she associates her spankings in adult life as proof of love, like her parents gave her.

An example of what I'm talking about could be, I have been medicated for depression in the past. My mother also has depression. It can be caused by a shortage of enzymes in your brain or whatnot, and I thought for a long time that this was proof that it was a genetic disorder. HOWEVER, now I think that I had depression because my mother raised me to look at everything negatively. Negative thinking is something you learn from your parents, and it's very hard to break.

So, I used to think the depression I had was genetic, and now I think it was a learned behavior.

I don't think it's genetically built in to any of us to be any more submissive than any other animal might be."

Natural Slave?

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 10th - words of A Desert Rose

"Thanks, that's kinda what I thought. I have several friends who are slaves and I'd never heard anything about negotiations inside a relationship. In fact, just the opposite.

It's a choice that people make and some of us are cut out for that and some aren't. There are lots of people who aren't cut out to do my job, but that doesn't make them less worthwhile as human beings."


Thoughts On Submission...What Is It Really?

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 11th - words of the captain's wench

"I have some abandonment issues, first with my father who moved 6 hours away when I was a kid and him and mom split, then when my step father died ( I know he didn't want to go yet, but it's hard not feeling like he left me when I really needed him), then again when my husband left me, and when my mom kicked me out of her place, and with my cousin who moved out of the apt we shared in the middle of the night the night before the rent was due. I know this really puts a strain on Jounar sometimes because I get very clingy when I feel insecure, and the fact of the matter is we both have to live our day to day lives. I can only imagine what it's like to have a sub across the ocean who rings you twice a day, texts you 10 times and sends about 50 emails and IMs, tho I have toned it down a bit. As long as things are looking up in my life, I tend to be okay, but when I get too stressed or something dramatic happens then this feeling of abandonment takes over and I bug the hell out of him. I think he's finally gotten used to me, so he's pretty good at sending me offliners and things when we haven't gotten to chat in a while. And I've gotten better at dealing with things on my own sometimes.

I have a friend here who can be a big help. But he sometimes disapears on me when things get busy with his work and such and I'll go a week with out a word from him, and a month between visits with him. He very much gives me the since of.... well he lets me spend hours cuddled with him which is something that I really need, and another thing that Master just can't provide right now.

I think in both cases, we've adjusted a bit of our norm to accomidate the other person. I don't send nearly as many messages as I used to, and they each make efforts in their own ways to make sure that I know they aren't going anywhere any time soon."


D/s: Growing Too Attached?

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 12th - words of the captain's wench

"so you're in the moment and your PYL is having a grand old time wailing on you with a brand new beaded flogger you so happily made them. Each swing builds in intencity, every fall brings a new sting to your body. You're now at the point when things are getting uncomfortable...do you red out?

You push on and the beat of the flogger speads up. Your body throbs and you can feel the heat of the red glow on your back side...time to speak up?

You hear his delight, feel his delight his pleasure in the air, it's almost a perfume, so you continue on. You know how proud he is of you at that moment, you know he's getting what he needs in this moment, and in pleasing him you are getting what you need. The swings still continue to build, harder blows landing each time. Your body is now starting to shake and you're not sure if you can take more. You can feel yourself start to bruse. You feel the tears whell in you eyes. Is it time, do you speak now, knowing how much he is enjoying himself? It is imposible to excape the thought that if you say something at this point there will be disapointment on his part. Maybe not in you particularly, but in the fact that he could not continue.

You press on just that bit more, not wanting to disrupt his pleasure, not knowing how much more your body can take, clutching at the molding around the doorway you are pearched in. Your screams fill the room, your body feels like it's on fire, and shakes with so much force you feel like you will colapse.....For me this is the point where he stops. It's the point where I start strongly thinking about safewording out. When I did use yellow before, it was way before this point. This is a point I longed to get to, I wanted to get to, but I was afraid of being taken to that point.

If the thought of disapointing him wasn't in my mind I would not have ever gotten to the points I have, and that would disapoint me. Yes I push myself, but I have enough trust in him that I feel safe in doing so. I don't play with people I don't trust, period. I have strong bonds with those I play with, I don't play with just anyone. They know me very well, know my desires and limitations.

Would using my safeword at any point disapoint him? Yes, of course it would, unless that was his goal in the first place. But I understand why and it has very little to do with my ability to serve him, and every thing to do with his pleasure. My playmate is very very much a sadist, I know he would love to take things beyond what anyone could take. I also know that me not being able to go that far is not what disapoints him. But none the less I have disapointed him in some way, and that sadens me. Does he worry about me being upset? Not in the slightest. If I'm upset because I feel like I've disapointed him, then we are in the direction he wants to go. I should be upset, I did disapoint him, I stoped his fun. But he's not angry with me, and I won't be punished, infact i get to hold his leg and be petted as long as it takes to calm me down.

This is the end of our scene. He praises me for serving him well, and I get over the fact that I didn't go as far as he would like and work hard to go just that much further next time. With out that since of disapointment, I wouldn't work harder to go further, and there for would not grow, and our time together would be a waste."

The Use Of Safewords

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 13th - words of Blushing Bottom

"A taste...

A Dom once had me go into the pharmacy and purchase, lube, condoms and a Fleets enema. I was to purchase nothing else and was to give him the receipt when we later met. I was to include no other purchases in with those items so to be sure that the cashier, if at all aware, would be clear about what I was going to get.

I was mortified when the woman winked at me as she bagged my purchases and was treated to a glorious a...well you know later that month for completing my task. I still imagine my chagrin had that cashier been a man.

Though none of my online relationships have ever remained just online, I do understand the need to stay connected in any way possible. Keep looking you find loads of things to torture your little subbie with to be sure."

Inspiration & Ideas

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 14th - words of myinnerslut

"callinectes is right. some people feel power when they see thier pyl kneel in front of them. some people feel power when they make thier pyl cry. or when they hear Sir or Master. there is no way to tell how someone feels power without knowing them or asking them."

How Best To Address Your Master and How Best To Submit With Power

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 15th - words of serijules

"I am required to address Ma'am properly no matter who is present, and I wear a locked rather obvious collar at all times when with her. Her kids (teenagers) are quite used to seeing me clean her house, cook meals and fetch her things when I am there, as well as address her as Ma'am. She will at times correct my order in a restraunt and give the waiter a new one if she doesn't approve of my choice, will do subtle things like pull my hair or give me a look or an order, or ask me potentially embarrassing questions if I'm not careful about my attitude. (I tend to get sullen in some social situations and she doesn't tolerate it).

She has no qualms about slapping me in public if I deserve it (although I'm too well trained to do something to deserve it so it hasn't happened). So yes, we get looks and comments now and then. I don't say anything at all usually (which people most of the time get the hint that it is none of their business and back off) and Ma'am would most likely look highly amused and if she answered at all, it would be somewhere along the lines of "because I can". Very few people in Ma'am's life are not used to and aware of these sort of things even if they don't really understand them, and while those close in my life are much more ignorant, I haven't had problems with comments as I am wise about what I display without disobeying her expectations. It's a fun challenge sometimes.

While we are open and out about our relationship, we are not idiots and don't do anything that will cause real problems or issues, however, we don't make excuses either. Lately I've become more comfortable with questions about my collar. A year ago when asked what it symbolized by a stranger, I would have answered something like "it's a necklace". Now I simply say "it's my collar", smile politely, and excuse myself."

What Do You Say When...

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 16th - words of ownedsubgal


"oh it is definitely possible...as catalina mentioned, one's Master can degrade them thoroughly in the eyes of others, and in cases like my Master and i, where he degrades me not simply before the world but to him as well....hmm how can i explain this? yes, he loves me...thoroughly and completely loves me. so you may think how could he TRULY degrade me (and it not be some sort of "play" or game). well, i'll go back to the pond scum analogy. my Master can reduce me to the pond scum of pond scum...but, he's the unusual sort of man who loves and adores the pond scum of pond scum, and finds it beautiful and precious. so yes, i can feel and know that i am this lowly creature, but know that in my Master's eyes this is a wonderful thing. this love doesn't make the degradation any less intense or real."

Humiliation vs Degradation

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 17th - words of Kailey_86

"J and i are often silent with each other and W/we are comfortable with it.

Silence during a scene when i can't see what's going on kills me because i am anticipating what is happening next.

Silence after i am asked a question usually means that i am embarassed to answer or i just don't know the answer or can't find the words. Silence by J after i ask Him a question usually means He just plain doesn't want to answer or He doesn't want me to know because it is a surprise. This kind of silence drives me BATTY. i love giving up control but this is one area that i have a hard time giving up control in. i need to know what is going on. Well, ok...i don't NEED to know.

Anyway, i have heard silence being used as punishment as well. Ignoring the sub in other words. i think this could be very effective. i haven't had it done to me. i would hate that.

Silence actually plays a huge part in my relationship with J because W/we do a lot of puppy play and puppies don't speak. i have to communicate with J without words a lot of the time. He is coming up with hand signals to use as commands in public which will be another level of silent communication."

Silent Communication

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 18th - words of AvaAdore

"How about this for sadism? The PYL isn't inflicting pain without a care for what the pyl is feeling - instead, they go out of the way to do things the pyl specifically doesn't like.

For example, the pyl hates anal sex. It's not a hard limit, but the pyl just hates it. It fuels the PYL's desire to do it, just to make the pyl uncomfortable for the PYL's sexual satisfaction. And if the pyl liked anal sex, the PYL wouldn't want to do it.

I think that is sadism, as compared to "deliverance of pain"."

Pain Deliverance vs Sadism

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 19th - words of Quint

"I'm really glad you mentioned these; my best friend talked to me about the 5 languages when I was having trouble with T a few years ago. Great way of thinking about how we express love for each other and how we prefer to receive love.

T's birthday is today, the day after Valentine's Day. I give myself a lot of stress trying to make the occasion doubly special. I know that T appreciates it when I do all this planning and shit, but he hates how neurotic I am when I'm planning. It's the same in the kitchen--great food, bitchy cook.

One thing we did is establish a new tradition: every year we switch on who gives the sugar and who gives the spice on V-Day. That way, a little of the pressure is off me and I can relax a little bit more knowing that my efforts are going to be reciprocated. I dunno if setting up a ritual or tradition would help you, but it works to my INTJ mentality."

This Is A Tough One To Explain

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 20th - words of Etoile

"Whoa there...I know you hate hearing this, but take it from somebody with experience: you are moving WAY too fast.

Some important points:
1. Just because he didn't get his entire fist inside you doesn't mean you were unsuccessful. Fisting should NEVER be about getting the entire fist inside, it should be about enjoying the process. If you tried it, and had fun (multiple orgasms sounds like fun), then it was successful. Like a lot of things that have to do with sex, it's the journey, not the destination.

2. It's not a science. It's not a matter of "I am supposed to be very aroused first" - obviously it's helpful if you are, but this isn't like following a recipe straight out of the cookbook. You should do whatever makes you both feel comfortable, in the order you like best. What you are getting from posters here on Lit is good advice, but it's not necessarily how things will work for you.

3. If you weren't using enough lube, you'd know it. Being dry-fucked or dry-fisted can be quite painful. In most cases, not having enough lube will make you scream and cry out to have it. It can be pleasurable for some people, particularly masochists, but if you were enjoying yourself and having orgasms, then you were probably using enough. Make sure he lubes up the back of his hand, though - it needs lube in order to make it inside.

4. What makes you think you tore as a result of this? It's possible that you were bleeding from the inside if his nails weren't trimmed neatly. I get that a lot, it's not a sign of anything wrong - your tissues just get nicked a bit. Definitely practice safe sex so that if this happens, there's no risk of STD transmission. It seems unlikely that one would actually tear from fisting though. That's the kind of thing they usually fix with stitches.

Like I said, I know you won't like hearing this. But you really seem to be rushing headlong into it, so I'm trying to provide helpful advice so that you can have happy fisting experiences in the future."

Fisting Question

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 21st - words of ammre

"I thankfully have the luxury of a fairly long tongue, but i have had it biuricated (forked tongue). Several people will cut out the tongue web alone or along with bifurication they remove it. Like a 2 for one thing...

Depending on where you are there might be a reputable piercer/modification artist in your area. Some places consider cutting the tongue with a scalpel illegial unless you are a licensed doctor. I'd check the people in your area and your local laws if you want to find a professional. I wouldn't suggest doing it yourself as the tongue holds many happy blood vessils ready and willing to obstruct your view and make your hands slippery... Not something you want to do in a mirror. You also have two pretty BIG blood vessils on the underside of your tongue, and while you won't necissarally die from cutting them, you could loose a good enough ammount of blood that a hospital would be necissary. If you choose to do it alone, buy sterile supplies, read expierences (bme) and anatomy books.

Yay tongues!
(p.s. it dosne't hurt hat bad, its like a piercing and it heals quite fast, just be careful for it growing back together. Even the web can reconnect itself and than you'll have scar tissue on top of your short web.)"

Cutting The Frenulum On Your Tongue

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 22nd - words of pet120306

"Those that knew me growing up would probably (who am I kidding, they DID) call me a slut, simply because I enjoyed having sex, whether in the context of a relationship or not. I STILL enjoy it. But the combination of sometimes social pariah and denying my desire to be submissive, I curtailed my urges, only letting them out in "acceptable" ways, such as with my husband and through fantasy. Still a slut, at least in my mind...

I even ended up having an affair, with my husband's knowledge and consent, and all that it really led to was my rediscovery of wanting to belong to someone, as their submissive, and I found out about this lovely place called Lit. Long story...my Mr. found me, and we are working our way towards IRL in the context of a polyamorous relationship with my husband. Am I a slut? Yeah.

But in the GOOD kind of way. I am sexually voracious with my husband, and a slut for my Mr. As another poster put it, I am HIS slut, just the way that both of us want it..."

Dissection Of The Slut

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 23rd - words of serijules

"Don't feel bad or that anyone is implying that you are selfish Rose. It is only selfish if it is not something your dominant desires for you. F and D are examples of two dominants who do not wish for subspace to be a part of their interactions, and thus, if catalina and I were to ignore that and not make the effort to control our "sink" into such a space, it WOULD be selfish.

In my relationship, my Owner enjoys giving me pain because she enjoys seeing me in pain. She doesn't want me to be able to "handle" that better, or process it better, or get to a point where I can't communicate with her. That isn't the goal, because those things do not please her. So can you see why it would be considered less of a focus for us if I were to go into subspace? I understand the space you are describing very very well as I've been there very intensely many times prior to belonging to D. I could take so much more pain, I could process it so much better and last through a scene so much longer. It's easy to see how one would feel like their focus is MORE during that. However, having experienced the other side of things as well, I also see now why that focus is not really the right one, at least not for a dominant who wants pure pain from their property."

Abuse : Is There Such A Thing In The Lifestyle?

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 24th - words of lil_slave_rose

"exactly cat, thank you. Master never said it didn't serve a need. it serves two actually, His need to 'correct' a wrong doing by me and ensure that i will not do said 'wrong doing' again, and in me it helps put closure to the 'offense' . however that does NOT mean that we enjoy it in any way, sexual or otherwise. and He doesn't always use physical punishment, sometimes it's an assignment, sometimes He'll take a privilege away, it all depends on whatever it is i've done to displease Him. the one time i received the crop across my ass, was the best punishment for that offense. i was being very bratty and needed to be 'put back in my place' so to speak. He didn't say a word, got out of bed, grabbed the crop and told me to roll onto my stomach. He swatted me 7-8 times with the crop, and it was over. it hurt like a bitch and i cried like a baby but when it was over He held me, told me He loved me, and that was the end...."

Punishment

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 25th - words of intothewoods

"I think it's different when your partner isn't the children's father. It's certainly more complicated, and I don't presume to have all the answers.

Having said that, I'm not suggesting anyone put their "man" first, like some guest on Ricky Lake or something. What I am saying is that the relationship between the mother and father is the foundation for the family. I think it's important for kids to see that their parents aren't just two people who serve their needs.

Do you remember the brouhaha over that NY Times Sunday Styles essay by Aylet Waldeman? The one in which she said she loves her husband more than her kids? She's a complete nut, and likes to make extreme statements like that, but she made some interesting observations about the competitive mommy types out there (first of all, none of them are getting laid). I have a toddler (I think it's more prevalent amongst mothers of young kids), so I run into a lot of them. Competitive mommies are so wrapped up in every little detail of their kid's lives that their love and obsession for their kids overshadows their marital relationship. Whatever, it's really something I run into on other message boards I frequent. Obviously if a mother is posting on literotica, she doesn't focus on her kids 24/7. "

Pregnancy and Parenting

 

[catalina_francisco]

February 26th - words of eastern_sun

"I am grinning from ear to ear because my original question begged to be released from responsibility, because I have a long history of wanting to avoid responsibility. . .

But what I've learned through this particular thread has been fascinating -

when I was a child and young woman, I was such a "people-pleaser" I actually lost sight of myself, my desires and my needs, seeing my entire worth reflected in the look in someone else's eyes

having discovered the inherent balance in that situation, I then set about to discover who "I" was, and defended myself against any intrusion by someone else's "agenda"

and I learned that I like pleasing people (among other things)

but resist doing it for fear of losing sight of my "self"

even while I crave the dissolution of the ego-bound "self" that occurs when I really am pleasing and serving others

I think too much. Thanks for humoring me.

(Who needs therapy when there's literotica. . .)"


The D/s Relationship - Ultimate Responsibility Dom/me or sub's?