A Desert Rose
Simply Charming Elsewhere
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Well holy shit and shove me in it!!!!
I made this thread... I'm stunned.
Thank you Catalina.
I made this thread... I'm stunned.
Thank you Catalina.
Submissive 'Thought for the Day' Calendar 2007
- Thread starter chris9
- Start date
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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- Jul 29, 2002
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March 24th - words of lil slave rose
"i could not live with anyone who expected me to give up my responsibility to my kids because i CHOSE to be owned by Him. i didn't mean that i have my M/s life and then my 'real life' that is not what i meant at ALL by we do not live in a BDSM vacuum. M/s IS our life as well, but that does not mean that sometimes things aren't going to come up that do not fit into our lifestyle and we have to say 'oh, ok, hold on a minute, we'll get back to that, we gotta deal with this first' nor does that change who we are to each other or what the dynamic of our relationship is.
if i were recovering from a serious surgery, Master would likely put all things BDSM/Kinky aside until i was feeling better. He wouldn't expect me to 'serve' Him in the way he does when i am not sick or recovering from surgery. Does that mean i am no longer His slave and He no longer my Master?? no, it means i had something wrong with me that needed fixed, i got it fixed, and the doctor said 'rest' well you can't very well rest if you have to clean a house, take care of kids, have dinner on the table before Master gets home from work, and then at Master's whim be beat until He's satisfied. like i said, i'm glad that i have a Master who agrees whole heartedly with all of these issues.
part of having someone else hold your fate in their hands, is knowing that they will take care of you, and do their best to protect their Property. i would not be owned by someone who didn't have my safety and well being first and foremost in their mind.....but that's just me....."
Two Masters?
"i could not live with anyone who expected me to give up my responsibility to my kids because i CHOSE to be owned by Him. i didn't mean that i have my M/s life and then my 'real life' that is not what i meant at ALL by we do not live in a BDSM vacuum. M/s IS our life as well, but that does not mean that sometimes things aren't going to come up that do not fit into our lifestyle and we have to say 'oh, ok, hold on a minute, we'll get back to that, we gotta deal with this first' nor does that change who we are to each other or what the dynamic of our relationship is.
if i were recovering from a serious surgery, Master would likely put all things BDSM/Kinky aside until i was feeling better. He wouldn't expect me to 'serve' Him in the way he does when i am not sick or recovering from surgery. Does that mean i am no longer His slave and He no longer my Master?? no, it means i had something wrong with me that needed fixed, i got it fixed, and the doctor said 'rest' well you can't very well rest if you have to clean a house, take care of kids, have dinner on the table before Master gets home from work, and then at Master's whim be beat until He's satisfied. like i said, i'm glad that i have a Master who agrees whole heartedly with all of these issues.
part of having someone else hold your fate in their hands, is knowing that they will take care of you, and do their best to protect their Property. i would not be owned by someone who didn't have my safety and well being first and foremost in their mind.....but that's just me....."
Two Masters?
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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A Desert Rose said:Well holy shit and shove me in it!!!!
I made this thread... I'm stunned.
Thank you Catalina.
LOL, you're welcome....just wish you posted more!!
Catalina
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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March 25th - words of CutieMouse
"I saw a personals ad (on a non-kink site), and the gentleman was looking for a "soft core" submissive- which he identified as a woman who accepted that he made all decisions (chose the resturaunt/etc), controlled all finances, had final say in everything, and her sexual focus should be on his pleasure. He identified those behaviours as "soft core" because his previous relationships had been with women who accepted all those things, but expected him to micromanage their lives. In his mind, a "hard core" submissive, was a woman incapable of even choosing which toothpaste to buy. (I emailed him and pointed out if his previous relationships were with women who were doormats, that didn't necessarily mean the women were submissives. )
I'm all about the research; learning stuff is fun. One thing to remember about reading erotica/fiction, is that it is *fantasy land*. There's a lot of stuff that get people hot and bothered, and a lot of it is BDSM related, but that doesn't mean everything you read is the realities of BDSM- make sense?
The first book I listed is a really good low key, non threatening "how to talk to him/her with the least likely freaking out scinerio" type book. A little rudimentary, but good. The New Bottoming Book is the first actual book about BDSM I'd ever read, and is a pretty good starting point, as is The New Topping Book. John Warren wrote The Loving Dominant, and is a very experienced, mindful BDSM author (IMO).
People in the BDSM forums at Lit tend to be very helpful, so if you have any questions or are curious about something, feel free to speak up."
Newbie Looking For Advice
"I saw a personals ad (on a non-kink site), and the gentleman was looking for a "soft core" submissive- which he identified as a woman who accepted that he made all decisions (chose the resturaunt/etc), controlled all finances, had final say in everything, and her sexual focus should be on his pleasure. He identified those behaviours as "soft core" because his previous relationships had been with women who accepted all those things, but expected him to micromanage their lives. In his mind, a "hard core" submissive, was a woman incapable of even choosing which toothpaste to buy. (I emailed him and pointed out if his previous relationships were with women who were doormats, that didn't necessarily mean the women were submissives. )
I'm all about the research; learning stuff is fun. One thing to remember about reading erotica/fiction, is that it is *fantasy land*. There's a lot of stuff that get people hot and bothered, and a lot of it is BDSM related, but that doesn't mean everything you read is the realities of BDSM- make sense?
The first book I listed is a really good low key, non threatening "how to talk to him/her with the least likely freaking out scinerio" type book. A little rudimentary, but good. The New Bottoming Book is the first actual book about BDSM I'd ever read, and is a pretty good starting point, as is The New Topping Book. John Warren wrote The Loving Dominant, and is a very experienced, mindful BDSM author (IMO).
People in the BDSM forums at Lit tend to be very helpful, so if you have any questions or are curious about something, feel free to speak up."
Newbie Looking For Advice
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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March 26th - words of A Desert Rose
"Honestly, doll, I don't see where you think you're the odd-man out. That would be me.
I think most people who've posted before you and those after, agree with you completely.
It's your relationship. How it works for you (or me) is your business. ;-)"
Reward vs Punishment
"Honestly, doll, I don't see where you think you're the odd-man out. That would be me.
I think most people who've posted before you and those after, agree with you completely.
It's your relationship. How it works for you (or me) is your business. ;-)"
Reward vs Punishment
myinnerslut
His chains. His lash.
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A Desert Rose said:Well holy shit and shove me in it!!!!
I made this thread... I'm stunned.
Thank you Catalina.
what she said
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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- 18,730
March 27th - words of BiBunny
"....This is, I think, the stupidest phenomenon ever. You see it in the vanilla world, too, but it's so much more obvious in the BDSM world, for whatever reason. In the BDSM sub-sect, it's even MORE obvious in the online-only folks. (I'm not trying to turn this into an online vs. real-life debate. This is just an observation from my end.)
No submissive NEEDS a man (or woman, but you usually see this phenomenon in the male Dom/female sub dynamic). If you NEED somebody in order to function, then you're a damned shitty submissive and fucking useless to a Dom/me to boot. I understand that we all fall prey to our insecurities occasionally, but, honestly, if you're going to be the kind of submissive that 99.9% of dominants want, you need to deal with your shit first before you ever even think about a relationship. There was a thread in Talk that was bumped up recently that epitomizes this statement, but I won't call names.
There are many, many, many people into BDSM because they are fucked up in the head. I'm sorry, but it's true. I think they're drawn to BDSM because of the whole "white-knight Dom/me who can save me from my terrible, terrible life" idea. (There are many, many, many people into BDSM who are not fucked up in the head, too, so don't crucify me for that statement). These kinds of people thrive on drama, and they're attention whores. When they're called out for their bullshit, they'll blame anybody but themselves. "My childhood" is a popular excuse, but let's face it--nobody had the perfect childhood, and while it's understandable to have a few hang-ups leftover from your not-perfect childhood, you can't blame everything on that! There's a point in your life where YOU'RE responsible for everything that happens to you. Until you're willing to stand up and be a real man/woman and face that responsibility, no Dom/me worth his/her salt is going to want you, which is why you see these kinds of people in and out of relationships so much. They latch onto the first person who'll give 'em a shred of attention. That person's usually an HNG or an online-wannabe player, so, of course the relationship won't last long. If, in fact, this sub hits on the genuine article, the poor Dom/me's going to cut and run as soon as he/she realizes how fucked up this person is.
Can you tell my pet peeve of the moment? I EARNED my collar, goddammit, through submission, service, and love. It's made of leather, steel, and blood, sweat, and tears, not fucking Velcro. I didn't have it given to me just because I made myself into the flavor of the week for any given asshole. I'll fight to defend my Master and my relationship, even if it's not ideal, because I believe in what that collar stands for. And for that reason, I'm damn proud of it, and you'll have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers. These attention-whorish drifter subs are, in my mind, an embarrassment to those of us who've given so much of ourselves to earn our places at our rightful Owners' sides...."
Sub Drift
"....This is, I think, the stupidest phenomenon ever. You see it in the vanilla world, too, but it's so much more obvious in the BDSM world, for whatever reason. In the BDSM sub-sect, it's even MORE obvious in the online-only folks. (I'm not trying to turn this into an online vs. real-life debate. This is just an observation from my end.)
No submissive NEEDS a man (or woman, but you usually see this phenomenon in the male Dom/female sub dynamic). If you NEED somebody in order to function, then you're a damned shitty submissive and fucking useless to a Dom/me to boot. I understand that we all fall prey to our insecurities occasionally, but, honestly, if you're going to be the kind of submissive that 99.9% of dominants want, you need to deal with your shit first before you ever even think about a relationship. There was a thread in Talk that was bumped up recently that epitomizes this statement, but I won't call names.
There are many, many, many people into BDSM because they are fucked up in the head. I'm sorry, but it's true. I think they're drawn to BDSM because of the whole "white-knight Dom/me who can save me from my terrible, terrible life" idea. (There are many, many, many people into BDSM who are not fucked up in the head, too, so don't crucify me for that statement). These kinds of people thrive on drama, and they're attention whores. When they're called out for their bullshit, they'll blame anybody but themselves. "My childhood" is a popular excuse, but let's face it--nobody had the perfect childhood, and while it's understandable to have a few hang-ups leftover from your not-perfect childhood, you can't blame everything on that! There's a point in your life where YOU'RE responsible for everything that happens to you. Until you're willing to stand up and be a real man/woman and face that responsibility, no Dom/me worth his/her salt is going to want you, which is why you see these kinds of people in and out of relationships so much. They latch onto the first person who'll give 'em a shred of attention. That person's usually an HNG or an online-wannabe player, so, of course the relationship won't last long. If, in fact, this sub hits on the genuine article, the poor Dom/me's going to cut and run as soon as he/she realizes how fucked up this person is.
Can you tell my pet peeve of the moment? I EARNED my collar, goddammit, through submission, service, and love. It's made of leather, steel, and blood, sweat, and tears, not fucking Velcro. I didn't have it given to me just because I made myself into the flavor of the week for any given asshole. I'll fight to defend my Master and my relationship, even if it's not ideal, because I believe in what that collar stands for. And for that reason, I'm damn proud of it, and you'll have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers. These attention-whorish drifter subs are, in my mind, an embarrassment to those of us who've given so much of ourselves to earn our places at our rightful Owners' sides...."
Sub Drift
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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March 28th - words of rebecca
"Takes two to tango , my basis for shall we call it 'professional courtesy' shifts quite dramatically when I witness the phenomena. Perhaps it's discriminatory on my part but I do expect anyone identifying as a dominant to have at least the most basic handle on the immense level of responsibility partnership with a submissive holds. Sorry to say anyone presenting as 'collared' in a short time frame falls into role-player status for me from both sides of the equation. Then again I shared a conversation recently with quite an established dominant who referred to D/s as a game. I was reticent that it's not a game to me. His reply "no it's not a game , it's THE GAME " . Make of it what you wish , I think the inference bares some reflection though it's a little off topic so I will desist.
New 'blood' IE woman whom have recently embraced the idea that the title submissive is suited to them I have a level more concern for. Though it has to be said we are discussing adults here not children and making flighty dives into the deep end for whatever reason has to be understood as risk taking in or outside of the realm of D/s. Repetition of this behaviour leaves me numb. In the past it made me dismissive , as I felt it in someway devalued aspects of something I personally hold quite sacred. Point in fact though it doesn't . I set my own standards when not 'owned' and adhere to them , it's my responsibility to do so.
The cup does run dry over the years as to how much sympathy I can muster for these situations . I try , some days better than others , hinged on taking full responsibility for my own life whether I have anything left to 'give' there .
The roller-coaster of Velcro drama in both highs & lows can simply fall out of my league . I don't know why I still feel guilty at not being more supportive in general . A battle between learned cynicism over inherent nature perhaps."
Sub Drift?
"Takes two to tango , my basis for shall we call it 'professional courtesy' shifts quite dramatically when I witness the phenomena. Perhaps it's discriminatory on my part but I do expect anyone identifying as a dominant to have at least the most basic handle on the immense level of responsibility partnership with a submissive holds. Sorry to say anyone presenting as 'collared' in a short time frame falls into role-player status for me from both sides of the equation. Then again I shared a conversation recently with quite an established dominant who referred to D/s as a game. I was reticent that it's not a game to me. His reply "no it's not a game , it's THE GAME " . Make of it what you wish , I think the inference bares some reflection though it's a little off topic so I will desist.
New 'blood' IE woman whom have recently embraced the idea that the title submissive is suited to them I have a level more concern for. Though it has to be said we are discussing adults here not children and making flighty dives into the deep end for whatever reason has to be understood as risk taking in or outside of the realm of D/s. Repetition of this behaviour leaves me numb. In the past it made me dismissive , as I felt it in someway devalued aspects of something I personally hold quite sacred. Point in fact though it doesn't . I set my own standards when not 'owned' and adhere to them , it's my responsibility to do so.
The cup does run dry over the years as to how much sympathy I can muster for these situations . I try , some days better than others , hinged on taking full responsibility for my own life whether I have anything left to 'give' there .
The roller-coaster of Velcro drama in both highs & lows can simply fall out of my league . I don't know why I still feel guilty at not being more supportive in general . A battle between learned cynicism over inherent nature perhaps."
Sub Drift?
shy slave
Literotica Guru
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- 8,255
March 29th - Words of Brandii
I have been doing a lot of reading on BDSM over the last couple of weeks as was suggested by some of the members on this site. I have read most of our library articles and have also spent a good deal of time reading articles on the Castlerealm site.
I read that it was a good idea for a sub to work out prior to committing herself to her Dom what she wanted from the relationship and what her needs (not wants) were.
This is what I came up with:
1. Continual open lines of communication. I start to feel insecure when I ask a question or tell my Dom something and don't here back from him within at least 36 hours.
2. His absolute acceptance of who I am both emotionally and physically at that point in time.
3. Consistancy. What he is today he will be tomorrow: that goes for his rules also.
4. Loyalty. Speaks for itself.
5. Protection. What I reveal photographically is for his eyes only.
and if we ever take this realtime:
His word that he will never intentionally physically harm me without my concent and some advance warning
and that he will never ask me to submit to him in a way that may cause me physical harm at the hands of another person.
Does anyone think that they are unreasonable requirements?
Yes, Its me again
I have been doing a lot of reading on BDSM over the last couple of weeks as was suggested by some of the members on this site. I have read most of our library articles and have also spent a good deal of time reading articles on the Castlerealm site.
I read that it was a good idea for a sub to work out prior to committing herself to her Dom what she wanted from the relationship and what her needs (not wants) were.
This is what I came up with:
1. Continual open lines of communication. I start to feel insecure when I ask a question or tell my Dom something and don't here back from him within at least 36 hours.
2. His absolute acceptance of who I am both emotionally and physically at that point in time.
3. Consistancy. What he is today he will be tomorrow: that goes for his rules also.
4. Loyalty. Speaks for itself.
5. Protection. What I reveal photographically is for his eyes only.
and if we ever take this realtime:
His word that he will never intentionally physically harm me without my concent and some advance warning
and that he will never ask me to submit to him in a way that may cause me physical harm at the hands of another person.
Does anyone think that they are unreasonable requirements?
Yes, Its me again
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
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- 13,063
Thank you for the inclusion Cat , it's appreciated
Congratulations to all whose words have been shared and have amassed on this thread to date.
So pleased to see also that Miss Shy introduced Brandii's post
Congratulations to all whose words have been shared and have amassed on this thread to date.
So pleased to see also that Miss Shy introduced Brandii's post
BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
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@}-}rebecca---- said:Thank you for the inclusion Cat , it's appreciated
Congratulations to all whose words have been shared and have amassed on this thread to date.
So pleased to see also that Miss Shy introduced Brandii's post
What she said. Thank you, cat. I figured that post would get me drawn and quartered, not put in the submissive thought for the day calendar.
callinectes
yep
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Thank you Catalina. I am honored to have been included.
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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- Jul 29, 2002
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You are all more than welcome, and please, keep your words of wisdom and particular thoughts and opinions coming!!
Catalina
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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March 30th - words of A Desert Rose
"I was once (and for a long time) the OTHER-other woman. He called me his "deep, dark secret". I knew about everyone and no one knew about me. It wasn't the same kind of polyamory thing that's been discussed here, though.
I spent a lot of time rationalizing away being third string. I told myself that no matter what happened he would always comes back to ME. And he did. I could do for him things no one else could or would. I filled a spot in his life that no one else did.
yadda yadda yadda
Eventually I started to believe I WAS third string. I've suffered serious self-esteem issues, outrageous jealousy, irrational defensiveness and outright worthlessness.
I've felt unloved and disliked for a long time.
It's been over for some time and I still I'm battling those feelings. They are bad feelings. Bad in that they make me feel awful inside, bad in that they surface at the worst of times and with innocent people, and bad in that they aren't good for my very health.
I'm not whining or feeling sorry for myself or hoping anyone else will feel bad for me. I made the choices I made, no one forced me. I'm responsible for what I did. I made the mistakes. What I did was wrong on many levels.
And I'm paying for it."
BDSM, D/s & Monogamy
"I was once (and for a long time) the OTHER-other woman. He called me his "deep, dark secret". I knew about everyone and no one knew about me. It wasn't the same kind of polyamory thing that's been discussed here, though.
I spent a lot of time rationalizing away being third string. I told myself that no matter what happened he would always comes back to ME. And he did. I could do for him things no one else could or would. I filled a spot in his life that no one else did.
yadda yadda yadda
Eventually I started to believe I WAS third string. I've suffered serious self-esteem issues, outrageous jealousy, irrational defensiveness and outright worthlessness.
I've felt unloved and disliked for a long time.
It's been over for some time and I still I'm battling those feelings. They are bad feelings. Bad in that they make me feel awful inside, bad in that they surface at the worst of times and with innocent people, and bad in that they aren't good for my very health.
I'm not whining or feeling sorry for myself or hoping anyone else will feel bad for me. I made the choices I made, no one forced me. I'm responsible for what I did. I made the mistakes. What I did was wrong on many levels.
And I'm paying for it."
BDSM, D/s & Monogamy
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catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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- 18,730
March 31st - words of ecstaticsub
"Being poly doesn't mean sleeping around with everyone. It simple means being able to love more than one person. (well, to me that is what is means) I still insist on condoms with my Dom (and he feels the same way) out of respect for our spouses. Of course we use condoms on the occasions we play withothers also (though we don't include others very often)."
BDSM, D/s & Monogamy
"Being poly doesn't mean sleeping around with everyone. It simple means being able to love more than one person. (well, to me that is what is means) I still insist on condoms with my Dom (and he feels the same way) out of respect for our spouses. Of course we use condoms on the occasions we play withothers also (though we don't include others very often)."
BDSM, D/s & Monogamy
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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- 18,730
April 1st - words of conquered
"I don't post a lot -- hell, I don't even have an Avitar -- but as someone experienced in the financial fetishes and money slavery both as a practitioner and (former) mentor, here goes.
I agree with netzach and catalina_francisco in their tolerance of this kink as just another kink of which we need to be tolerant. It is funny that a toilet slave, for example, will snicker and roll his eyes at a foot fetishist "Feet? How silly that!?"
In the case of the financial fetishes, the fact is that there are the good, the bad and the ugly ( = evil) just as there are in every fetish.
As mentioned, money = power. Money also equals "penance payment," for some real or imagined guilt on the part of a submissive/slave to a greater power (usually a woman), in hopes that (usually) he will be absolved of the pain he carries around. Does he ever actually GET this absolution? And if he ever did, would/could he ACCEPT it? Usually not. It becomes an on-going (and often life-long) ritual that he needs to keep his life in balance.
The women (most often dominant or sadistic) who are in to this fetish may be professional, semi-pro, or simply amateurs who like the gifts or extra money or power or rush of having a guy who will send them money and other neat stuff.
Some guys are "gifters," and others are "banks" and others are "Human ATMs."
Some guys need for this gifting to be voluntary and appreciated, and others need it to be coerced and ignored. The spectrum is filled on both ends and in the middle.
It can be extraordinarily hot if the connection is right between the Domme/sadist and the sub/slave/masochist.
The most cohesive, compenhensive, sane site on this fetish is www.financialslavery.net ....."
Money Slaves
"I don't post a lot -- hell, I don't even have an Avitar -- but as someone experienced in the financial fetishes and money slavery both as a practitioner and (former) mentor, here goes.
I agree with netzach and catalina_francisco in their tolerance of this kink as just another kink of which we need to be tolerant. It is funny that a toilet slave, for example, will snicker and roll his eyes at a foot fetishist "Feet? How silly that!?"
In the case of the financial fetishes, the fact is that there are the good, the bad and the ugly ( = evil) just as there are in every fetish.
As mentioned, money = power. Money also equals "penance payment," for some real or imagined guilt on the part of a submissive/slave to a greater power (usually a woman), in hopes that (usually) he will be absolved of the pain he carries around. Does he ever actually GET this absolution? And if he ever did, would/could he ACCEPT it? Usually not. It becomes an on-going (and often life-long) ritual that he needs to keep his life in balance.
The women (most often dominant or sadistic) who are in to this fetish may be professional, semi-pro, or simply amateurs who like the gifts or extra money or power or rush of having a guy who will send them money and other neat stuff.
Some guys are "gifters," and others are "banks" and others are "Human ATMs."
Some guys need for this gifting to be voluntary and appreciated, and others need it to be coerced and ignored. The spectrum is filled on both ends and in the middle.
It can be extraordinarily hot if the connection is right between the Domme/sadist and the sub/slave/masochist.
The most cohesive, compenhensive, sane site on this fetish is www.financialslavery.net ....."
Money Slaves
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
April 2nd - words of the captain's wench
"he got me into my slave head, which granted is not that hard but not many people try, and things got intence. He tried to get me to acknoweldge him as "my master" and I refused to say it, he pressed the issue and I yellowed. He looked me in the eyes and said "things are getting to intence for you aren't they sweetie" and I replyed with anger in my eyes I'm sure as I could feel it, "you are NOT my master".
We talked abit about what was going on. He said he wasn't trying to take me from my master but it was obvious that I felt that way for what ever reason. I told him that I had said before I was worried things were moving too fast, and he agreed. But I don't think he really understood. He only knows a small fraction of what I've been thru in my life and how fragile I really am. And as I had told him many times, even yesterday I had told him, there is a lot to know about me before things get intence, and most people respect that. Most of the people that I have really played with have known me for a few months before they come any where near messing with my head.
Anyway, he helped me back to reality and said I have 24 hours to change my mind. But that just pisses me off. If I change my mind and want to continue our relationship than I am to email him appologizing and be prepared to accept punishment. I don't think any one has a real right to punish me besides my master, and besides that I don't think it's right to punish me for what he would be punishing me for. I told him how I felt, I don't think I should be punished for that, and any one who would punish me for that is some one I don't need in my life. But I know what he's getting at. He's saying I should be punished for not trusting him. I don't know the fucker that well, I told him that, and he's not the first person to tell me "I want to help you and I respect your master, I won't ever try to take you away from him" and then turn around and demand me to call him "my master"? Bah! it's over it's done, and I think this has taken me past the point of even slightly desiring some one to play with. I'll just hope that my friends take an interest in me some times."
Safe Words - Need Some Advice On How To Choose
"he got me into my slave head, which granted is not that hard but not many people try, and things got intence. He tried to get me to acknoweldge him as "my master" and I refused to say it, he pressed the issue and I yellowed. He looked me in the eyes and said "things are getting to intence for you aren't they sweetie" and I replyed with anger in my eyes I'm sure as I could feel it, "you are NOT my master".
We talked abit about what was going on. He said he wasn't trying to take me from my master but it was obvious that I felt that way for what ever reason. I told him that I had said before I was worried things were moving too fast, and he agreed. But I don't think he really understood. He only knows a small fraction of what I've been thru in my life and how fragile I really am. And as I had told him many times, even yesterday I had told him, there is a lot to know about me before things get intence, and most people respect that. Most of the people that I have really played with have known me for a few months before they come any where near messing with my head.
Anyway, he helped me back to reality and said I have 24 hours to change my mind. But that just pisses me off. If I change my mind and want to continue our relationship than I am to email him appologizing and be prepared to accept punishment. I don't think any one has a real right to punish me besides my master, and besides that I don't think it's right to punish me for what he would be punishing me for. I told him how I felt, I don't think I should be punished for that, and any one who would punish me for that is some one I don't need in my life. But I know what he's getting at. He's saying I should be punished for not trusting him. I don't know the fucker that well, I told him that, and he's not the first person to tell me "I want to help you and I respect your master, I won't ever try to take you away from him" and then turn around and demand me to call him "my master"? Bah! it's over it's done, and I think this has taken me past the point of even slightly desiring some one to play with. I'll just hope that my friends take an interest in me some times."
Safe Words - Need Some Advice On How To Choose
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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- Jul 29, 2002
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April 3rd - words of skittles_Im
"Wow. This thread is awesome! I am suprised at how on-topic it has stayed, for one, and the lack of nagging and finger pointing too!
I do not understand the humiliation you guys feels about using foul language, since I just have a really foul mouth at times. But the saying exactly what i want or fantasize about... out loud... to Him...eek! What if He laughs? What if He looks at me like I'm crazy or sick? What if (dear lord) He actually made me do some of the things I fantasize about? Have I said eek! already?
I want to know why humiliation is such a turn on for me and some of you. Does anyone know? Is there a clinical explanation or something? Cuz damned if I understand it at all, but oh man do I love it...hate it..aw hell, you know what I mean!"
Let's Talk About Humiliation Play
"Wow. This thread is awesome! I am suprised at how on-topic it has stayed, for one, and the lack of nagging and finger pointing too!
I do not understand the humiliation you guys feels about using foul language, since I just have a really foul mouth at times. But the saying exactly what i want or fantasize about... out loud... to Him...eek! What if He laughs? What if He looks at me like I'm crazy or sick? What if (dear lord) He actually made me do some of the things I fantasize about? Have I said eek! already?
I want to know why humiliation is such a turn on for me and some of you. Does anyone know? Is there a clinical explanation or something? Cuz damned if I understand it at all, but oh man do I love it...hate it..aw hell, you know what I mean!"
Let's Talk About Humiliation Play
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
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- 18,730
April 4th - words of Quint
"Unwelcome as this may be, you may never get that magical combination of BDSM plus sex from one partner. Many outlets such as play parties, professional Dom/mes, etc are typically "no sex" so herpes would not restrict most of the activities. Kind of on the same note as the other ladies' advice, there is no Shiny Magical Dom at the end of the tunnel. Online Doms can create an ideal persona and play it to the hilt, but in my experience it isn't indicative of who they really are. Real life Doms have their human flaws like any other person. If you have a good partner who is willing to let you express your harder desires (minus sexual interaction) with other people, you have an awesome thing."
What Would You Do To Fill The Gap?
"Unwelcome as this may be, you may never get that magical combination of BDSM plus sex from one partner. Many outlets such as play parties, professional Dom/mes, etc are typically "no sex" so herpes would not restrict most of the activities. Kind of on the same note as the other ladies' advice, there is no Shiny Magical Dom at the end of the tunnel. Online Doms can create an ideal persona and play it to the hilt, but in my experience it isn't indicative of who they really are. Real life Doms have their human flaws like any other person. If you have a good partner who is willing to let you express your harder desires (minus sexual interaction) with other people, you have an awesome thing."
What Would You Do To Fill The Gap?
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
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- Jun 22, 2004
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- 27,579
April 5th - words of Etoile
Are you sure? Because I'm perfectly willing to say this and I don't think I'll get booted...
Living the Gorean lifestyle is like being Barbara Adams and going to court in your Star Trek costume. The Gor books are basically poorly written science fiction novels, and the people who adopt that lifestyle are pretty much the same thing as Scientologists - another cult formed by a science fiction writer's legacy. The reason the lifestyle depicted in the Gor books is successful in that world is because it's not Earth. Things are different on Earth, and you can never hope to achieve the world Gor depicts, because it doesn't exist here. Anybody who claims to live the Gor lifestyle has a very active and satisfying fantasy life and may also have a pleasant sexual relationship too. But Gor is not real and anybody who tells you they live a Gorean lifestyle is only telling you the good stuff, to make it sound like Gor works. It doesn't. If you want to join a bizarre cult based on some smutty science fiction novels, by all means get into Gor. But it's not reality and it's not the way consensual slavery happens on Earth. Try living on your own planet and see how you like that before you fly off to Never-Never Land.
A slave's life.
Are you sure? Because I'm perfectly willing to say this and I don't think I'll get booted...
Living the Gorean lifestyle is like being Barbara Adams and going to court in your Star Trek costume. The Gor books are basically poorly written science fiction novels, and the people who adopt that lifestyle are pretty much the same thing as Scientologists - another cult formed by a science fiction writer's legacy. The reason the lifestyle depicted in the Gor books is successful in that world is because it's not Earth. Things are different on Earth, and you can never hope to achieve the world Gor depicts, because it doesn't exist here. Anybody who claims to live the Gor lifestyle has a very active and satisfying fantasy life and may also have a pleasant sexual relationship too. But Gor is not real and anybody who tells you they live a Gorean lifestyle is only telling you the good stuff, to make it sound like Gor works. It doesn't. If you want to join a bizarre cult based on some smutty science fiction novels, by all means get into Gor. But it's not reality and it's not the way consensual slavery happens on Earth. Try living on your own planet and see how you like that before you fly off to Never-Never Land.
A slave's life.
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
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- 18,730
Etoile said:
More than welcome to put in quotes which you like Etoile, as long as they are from submissives or switches when talking about submissive topics/issues etc.
Catalina
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
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- 18,730
April 6th - words of dixicritter
"lk70, I can find things in this article that fit me of course. I'm sure every submissive can find something about it that would fit them, but not every part of it will fit every submissive. Why? Because not every submissive comes into this lifestyle with the exact same set of circumstances in their past.
One thing you should think about as you research your journey is what you want to get out of this lifestyle, NOT what others get out of it. You are the one that has to live with the choices you make for yourself.
There isn't a right or wrong way to go about being a "healthy submissive", in my opinion. As long as you feel you are one, then who has the right to tell you that you aren't? No one! Only you know what you feel inside, how you feel about yourself.
All that being said, lists like this aren't all bad, don't get me wrong. They give you a starting place to figure out what's right for you. Take what fits and leave the rest, but most of all... enjoy your journey."
The Healthy Submissive Is...
"lk70, I can find things in this article that fit me of course. I'm sure every submissive can find something about it that would fit them, but not every part of it will fit every submissive. Why? Because not every submissive comes into this lifestyle with the exact same set of circumstances in their past.
One thing you should think about as you research your journey is what you want to get out of this lifestyle, NOT what others get out of it. You are the one that has to live with the choices you make for yourself.
There isn't a right or wrong way to go about being a "healthy submissive", in my opinion. As long as you feel you are one, then who has the right to tell you that you aren't? No one! Only you know what you feel inside, how you feel about yourself.
All that being said, lists like this aren't all bad, don't get me wrong. They give you a starting place to figure out what's right for you. Take what fits and leave the rest, but most of all... enjoy your journey."
The Healthy Submissive Is...
