The Predators Among Us
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catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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http://www.mybdsm.com/pages/Charles/ ...Posted this in the 'Novice Subs Beware' thread, but perhaps it is good to put it here too.
Is true you have to kiss some frogs to find a prince, but it is never worth your life or sanity. Be careful and wait for a gentlemanly Dom who respects you for who you are, while applying just the right amount of control and romance.
Is worth the wait.
Catalina
Is true you have to kiss some frogs to find a prince, but it is never worth your life or sanity. Be careful and wait for a gentlemanly Dom who respects you for who you are, while applying just the right amount of control and romance.
Catalina
Pure
Fiel a Verdad
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Hi Prof Bill,
Without indulging in broad stereotyping, let's look at the profile of at least some of the women who are attracted to these boards and rooms. Frequently, they seem to be relatively inexperienced in matters sexual although they have strong desires, they have a strong desire/need to serve, they are relieved to find that there are others in the world who feel much like they do, they come from situations where they feel they do not "fit in" or where they have been rejected for one reason or another (frequently, in my experience, because of weight problems), and they want to learn all there is to learn as fast as possible.
So, what happens? Well, when everything works the way it's supposed to, these women learn enough to get started, meet some subby friends who can help them evaluate what's going on, and then they'll begin their safe and pleasurable journey in this life style.
But what of those who are not so lucky? A forceful man takes an interest in these newcomers, seems to know what he's talking about, pays attention to what they need and want, and then offers to "help" them, or to "train" them, or--even--to "love" them. And they meet.
A former sub of mine, who certainly knew better, invited such a person to her house after we broke up. She was out of work for three days, urinated blood for a week, was told not to tell anyone because her son would suffer if she did, and was left after he was done using her. There was no sex. Only his restraining her and then beating her for about a day. It took me a year to get the name out of her, and by that time he'd moved away from the area. As far as I know, he's still out there. I've been unable to locate him, although some friends and I have certainly tried.
A woman has to keep eyes open to for dangers, and yes, the one in a ten thousand killers. Your first example above, however, makes clear the nature of the problem, in many cases. Someone is needy and does little to protects herself. Whether warning of predators would be of any help, is open to question. Desperate people don't deserve to encounter criminal assault, but they occasionally walk into it.
Emotional need, as you say, is the driving force, and the person does not 'look out' for her or himself in the desperate attempt to find love. Hence all manner of exploiters, bunco artists and con men 'prey' upon this person through offering esteem and love, as you say. Fortunately almost all of those taken advantage of, do not lose their lives; sometime it's security and most often it's money.
If there's any advice that might be relevant, it's don't give money, credit cards, etc. to 'nice persons' you've just met, for that 'little' emergency, which only requires a couple thousand dollars (the first time). "Look out for killers," is, imo, of dubious value, though there are certainly some out there.
In your second example (not quoted) of the 'killer dom' (who leaves someone beaten and bound to die in a motel room...and is still 'out there'), he is clearly a nasty vicious criminal. However, there is a simple piece of commonsense, worth more than all the 'predator' scare stories:
don't abandon safety precautions after a few hours--in your case, one 'date'--and don't allow yourself to be tied up or bound by a relative stranger (someone you've known for just a few hours), in a strange setting. This is an extention of something girls are ideally taught from age 5, and especially during teens: don't go home with strangers. The common result is rape, and one in thousands is murder.
A healthy awareness of real dangers, and simple commonsense should not be abandoned just because the stranger says, "I'm a dom, and you will do as I say."
I really feel that the online predation thing is parallel to something we saw clearly in the Columbine massacres: some young people have far too much 'freedom' (read, *neglect* by parents)--in the present case, on the'net, and the hysteria is an attempt to distract from that fact.
J.
Without tooting my own horn too much, I did have a go at writing a balanced assessment and 'newbie' warning, that encompasses both sexes:
Online Safety: Tigers in the Internet Zoo
https://forum.literotica.com/...threadid=164665
Without indulging in broad stereotyping, let's look at the profile of at least some of the women who are attracted to these boards and rooms. Frequently, they seem to be relatively inexperienced in matters sexual although they have strong desires, they have a strong desire/need to serve, they are relieved to find that there are others in the world who feel much like they do, they come from situations where they feel they do not "fit in" or where they have been rejected for one reason or another (frequently, in my experience, because of weight problems), and they want to learn all there is to learn as fast as possible.
So, what happens? Well, when everything works the way it's supposed to, these women learn enough to get started, meet some subby friends who can help them evaluate what's going on, and then they'll begin their safe and pleasurable journey in this life style.
But what of those who are not so lucky? A forceful man takes an interest in these newcomers, seems to know what he's talking about, pays attention to what they need and want, and then offers to "help" them, or to "train" them, or--even--to "love" them. And they meet.
A former sub of mine, who certainly knew better, invited such a person to her house after we broke up. She was out of work for three days, urinated blood for a week, was told not to tell anyone because her son would suffer if she did, and was left after he was done using her. There was no sex. Only his restraining her and then beating her for about a day. It took me a year to get the name out of her, and by that time he'd moved away from the area. As far as I know, he's still out there. I've been unable to locate him, although some friends and I have certainly tried.
A woman has to keep eyes open to for dangers, and yes, the one in a ten thousand killers. Your first example above, however, makes clear the nature of the problem, in many cases. Someone is needy and does little to protects herself. Whether warning of predators would be of any help, is open to question. Desperate people don't deserve to encounter criminal assault, but they occasionally walk into it.
Emotional need, as you say, is the driving force, and the person does not 'look out' for her or himself in the desperate attempt to find love. Hence all manner of exploiters, bunco artists and con men 'prey' upon this person through offering esteem and love, as you say. Fortunately almost all of those taken advantage of, do not lose their lives; sometime it's security and most often it's money.
If there's any advice that might be relevant, it's don't give money, credit cards, etc. to 'nice persons' you've just met, for that 'little' emergency, which only requires a couple thousand dollars (the first time). "Look out for killers," is, imo, of dubious value, though there are certainly some out there.
In your second example (not quoted) of the 'killer dom' (who leaves someone beaten and bound to die in a motel room...and is still 'out there'), he is clearly a nasty vicious criminal. However, there is a simple piece of commonsense, worth more than all the 'predator' scare stories:
don't abandon safety precautions after a few hours--in your case, one 'date'--and don't allow yourself to be tied up or bound by a relative stranger (someone you've known for just a few hours), in a strange setting. This is an extention of something girls are ideally taught from age 5, and especially during teens: don't go home with strangers. The common result is rape, and one in thousands is murder.
A healthy awareness of real dangers, and simple commonsense should not be abandoned just because the stranger says, "I'm a dom, and you will do as I say."
I really feel that the online predation thing is parallel to something we saw clearly in the Columbine massacres: some young people have far too much 'freedom' (read, *neglect* by parents)--in the present case, on the'net, and the hysteria is an attempt to distract from that fact.
J.
Without tooting my own horn too much, I did have a go at writing a balanced assessment and 'newbie' warning, that encompasses both sexes:
Online Safety: Tigers in the Internet Zoo
https://forum.literotica.com/...threadid=164665
Last edited:
A Desert Rose
Simply Charming Elsewhere
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Is this still a really serious thread?
I just feel like wrecking havoc all over the place while you're all gone and can't stop me. It's me.... I'm the mystery preditor.
So, let's talk about marsupials now:
I just feel like wrecking havoc all over the place while you're all gone and can't stop me. It's me.... I'm the mystery preditor.
So, let's talk about marsupials now:
A Desert Rose
Simply Charming Elsewhere
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Pure said:Obviously you're one of the hard-to-detect female predators spoken of, hiding under the innocent guise of a marsupial lover.
Yea... I'm outing myself and solving the mystery. It was me in the library with a pipe.
But still one remains, do you see the resemblance between these little buggers and kanagroos?
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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A Desert Rose said:Is this still a really serious thread?
I just feel like wrecking havoc all over the place while you're all gone and can't stop me. It's me.... I'm the mystery preditor.
So, let's talk about marsupials now:
Oh well these babies spend most of their time doped up to the eyeballs, can be vicious if awake and threatened, males have a propensity for rape (or attempted at least even while children are in mama's arms or on her back), and make the most deceiving sound compared to their cute and cuddly exterior.
Catalina
indiananjoe
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Predators
You know Catalian, I kind of agree with you on the topic. By scientific definition, social science definition, and behavioral science definition the human species is a predatory animal called an omnivore. We eat meat and greens. We all still hunt and gather food, but in a different fashion than the aboriginals. The type of predator humans are is determined through behavioral analysis. It is hard for the human species to admitt they are predatory by scientific definition and genetic composition. If you question it look it in an encylonpedia.
Joe
catalina_francisco said:I call it predatory because I see the new poster and know that as soon as the particular predators I am thinking of come online and find the 'new blood', they will make their customary suggestions, sometimes online, sometimes off, sometimes both, and that even when ignored do not necessarily back off. They remind me of charks circling the fishing boat waiting for the catch to be cleaned, anything that comes within range is open game...is not what I, and many, like to see on a discussion board which clearly tries to dissuade such behaviour and intent. Is as repulsive as the drunk in the bar who won't take 'no' for an answer, all the time seeing himself as somebody the woman should feel honoured to have been pestered by.
Catalina
You know Catalian, I kind of agree with you on the topic. By scientific definition, social science definition, and behavioral science definition the human species is a predatory animal called an omnivore. We eat meat and greens. We all still hunt and gather food, but in a different fashion than the aboriginals. The type of predator humans are is determined through behavioral analysis. It is hard for the human species to admitt they are predatory by scientific definition and genetic composition. If you question it look it in an encylonpedia.
Joe
CharleyH
Curioser and curiouser
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cellis said:
It has been here since I was here three or four years ago and I am certain predators were here ever since the "web" started. I do not know many dom/mes in my life who would not charm you into their corner in their way. I don't think finding a Dom or sub is any less or more a challenge than finding a vanilla relationship that works, other than things are different in bed or life. If you do not feel it and don't want to submit to it, then ignore them, and if you feel more strongly - tell them to "go fuck themselves if they can handle it".
Fuck you - is sometimes a good safe word online
and if that does not work - ignore them some more by turning on your ignore list . 
Predation
I thnk some are missing the original point which, I think, involved providing some sort of protection for those who do not know enough about this life to protect themselves. Sure, we can say that everyone should be able to turn on a bullshit detector and determine who is or is not to be trusted, but sometimes the detector is broken and sometimes it hasn't been well-developed.
There are people who pose as Doms and Dommes to prey on those who know no better. As a Dom I don't like these people at all. They corrupt the honor and discipline and love I hope I bring to the scene.
Identifying them, stopping them, preventing them from acquiring victoms are all activities I think are worth our time.
I'm glad this thread has restarted.
Professor Bill
I thnk some are missing the original point which, I think, involved providing some sort of protection for those who do not know enough about this life to protect themselves. Sure, we can say that everyone should be able to turn on a bullshit detector and determine who is or is not to be trusted, but sometimes the detector is broken and sometimes it hasn't been well-developed.
There are people who pose as Doms and Dommes to prey on those who know no better. As a Dom I don't like these people at all. They corrupt the honor and discipline and love I hope I bring to the scene.
Identifying them, stopping them, preventing them from acquiring victoms are all activities I think are worth our time.
I'm glad this thread has restarted.
Professor Bill
indiananjoe
Virgin
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You are most likely right
Sometimes there problematic situations that arise with males, who do not know anything about the Doms/Subs, and are attempting to get a piece of ass through their preception of this lifestyle. Not all of them are what I would consider sexuall prepators, but screwed idiots attempting to impersonate a Dom. You are right. Sometimes the best method is to tell them to "Fuck Off," ignore them or block them. In some situations, I call it a "Male Gender Bender Problems." Don't get me wrong, they have the potential of becoming a sexual prepator, and sometimes are also fewed as control freaks.
Joe
Prof Bill said:
Sometimes there problematic situations that arise with males, who do not know anything about the Doms/Subs, and are attempting to get a piece of ass through their preception of this lifestyle. Not all of them are what I would consider sexuall prepators, but screwed idiots attempting to impersonate a Dom. You are right. Sometimes the best method is to tell them to "Fuck Off," ignore them or block them. In some situations, I call it a "Male Gender Bender Problems." Don't get me wrong, they have the potential of becoming a sexual prepator, and sometimes are also fewed as control freaks.
Joe
Evil_Geoff
Equal Opportunity Sadist
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indiananjoe said:
*Chuckles*
"encylonpedia" - the massive databank that holds the entirety of accumulated knowledge gathered by the Cylons.
A strategic target highly valued by the Colonial Fleet since destruction of the encylonpedia would render the Cylons terminally stupid.
Damn.... outted myself as an SF geek. Again...
indiananjoe
Virgin
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Evil_Geoff said:
I enjoy humor on this one if we were all si-fi then the Battlestart Galactica Cylons would apply to the definition of encylonpedia, but maybe I should correct my spelling error to the proper term of encyclopedia. Thanks for the humor of the mis-spelled word.
naughtyboy4f
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learn to say "back off"!!!!
"back off" it is very powerful, stop acting like kitty cat, by the way, a predator won't act like that, so adjust your lenses,not every shadow is scary,
just make sure you don't put yourself in danger.so....
back off!!! lol.
It is very simple, and it is always mentally, you have to learn how to say it,cellis said:
"back off" it is very powerful, stop acting like kitty cat, by the way, a predator won't act like that, so adjust your lenses,not every shadow is scary,
just make sure you don't put yourself in danger.so....
back off!!! lol.
FungiUg
Waves at Cats
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indiananjoe said:
Sadly, the predators aren't necessarily male, although I've personally run into it more from males (second hand through women I know) than females.
Also, I know several Doms who seem to develop a "god complex", that makes it okay to push people around and ignore their safety networks. I had an example very recently of someone who is supposedly an experienced Dom doing exactly that to a friend of mine. Thankfully she was smart enough to recognise what was happening, and to get out as soon as she could before any damage was done (other than being shook out).
This same friend had also been in a similar situation with a "friend" of hers (who I haven't met and who is a woman), and in that case ended up getting scared to the point where she fainted. So I was extremely grateful she'd learned to handle situations like this better.
And to me that's the thing. Whether you are in BDSM or not, you are going to run into dangerous people. And the same person can be safe or dangerous depending on context. As much as we might like to think we are enlightened, we are all still human. It's important to recognise that things can go sour and plan ahead for dealing with it as best we can.
Netzach
>semiotics?
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I have been in the scene for a decade. I have known a lot of women who have dated a lot of assholes. I have been a degree removed from one person who died via SM - self-breathplay - the single leading cause of death in the scene.
It takes two. Horrible things happen to decent people but when someone is demanding your number, your picture, your kids' names....
why on earth would you give that to them?
Use the common sense that kept you alive dating vanilla or living among other people. I had all the reassurance that it was OK to say no starting when I was 4 (don't talk to strangers) and culminating when I was 10 (don't make eye contact with weird people on the train, they will want to talk to you)
When I realize I'm brushing with crazy, I can disentangle. You should not be dating if you don't think you're able to do that.
Successful criminals manage to mainstream enough to charm and intergrate and sound OK, there's really nothing you can do about that. This is why, when I'm bottoming, there's a public play period - often extensive. There's a lot of getting to know, a lot of coffee dates, and a lot of hanging amongst muual friends.
The men who showed up for me to beat them with no one on earth knowing where they were were a mix of brave lucky and crazy. I had a degree of vulnerability, but I had the phone, the clothes on, and them tied down pretty early on if they were new, and usually someone else around.
White knights raise MY red flags so much more than horny net dogs. I've never held anything against a guy just trying to get some pussy - most are pathetic, and some are suave and get some.
It takes two. Horrible things happen to decent people but when someone is demanding your number, your picture, your kids' names....
why on earth would you give that to them?
Use the common sense that kept you alive dating vanilla or living among other people. I had all the reassurance that it was OK to say no starting when I was 4 (don't talk to strangers) and culminating when I was 10 (don't make eye contact with weird people on the train, they will want to talk to you)
When I realize I'm brushing with crazy, I can disentangle. You should not be dating if you don't think you're able to do that.
Successful criminals manage to mainstream enough to charm and intergrate and sound OK, there's really nothing you can do about that. This is why, when I'm bottoming, there's a public play period - often extensive. There's a lot of getting to know, a lot of coffee dates, and a lot of hanging amongst muual friends.
The men who showed up for me to beat them with no one on earth knowing where they were were a mix of brave lucky and crazy. I had a degree of vulnerability, but I had the phone, the clothes on, and them tied down pretty early on if they were new, and usually someone else around.
White knights raise MY red flags so much more than horny net dogs. I've never held anything against a guy just trying to get some pussy - most are pathetic, and some are suave and get some.
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J
JAMESBJOHNSON
Guest
NETZACH
I can assure you real predators dont advertise themselves. You confuse predators with shitbirds.
I can assure you real predators dont advertise themselves. You confuse predators with shitbirds.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
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The White Knights usually set off all my alarm bells, too. You know, if something seems to good to be true, then it usually is and all that. I've always been suspicious of people who are out to 'rescue' others. What's in it for the rescuer?
J
JAMESBJOHNSON
Guest
Naaah. Its always the guys who are too nice. The rest of us dont give a shit, and so we let it all hang out. The killers always look like Pat Boone.
