The way to a Dominant's heart
- Thread starter RJMasters
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pandoravampire
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from the other side of this coin,
Im so with Netzach here, its when i truly do not want to do something, but i 'have' to. When im pushed way out on a limb and told to stand up with no hands, its when i have to having heard all my contrary thoughts of why i 'cant' do this, and i do it anyway? That is my moment of intense submission.
It is also his moment of intense dominance.
Thankyou for the self disclosure, i thought it beautiful and a education. One of the best tips ive read here. When its really hard, just submit. As a way to my dominants heart, its a map worth having.
Im so with Netzach here, its when i truly do not want to do something, but i 'have' to. When im pushed way out on a limb and told to stand up with no hands, its when i have to having heard all my contrary thoughts of why i 'cant' do this, and i do it anyway? That is my moment of intense submission.
It is also his moment of intense dominance.
Thankyou for the self disclosure, i thought it beautiful and a education. One of the best tips ive read here. When its really hard, just submit. As a way to my dominants heart, its a map worth having.
Desdemona
Ellie Mae's evil auntie
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Re: Geeze la petes!
Apparently, sometimes it's good to be a little naughty.
RJMasters said:What's with all the notes....
Steps up with 4 foot long pointing stick and slams it down hard on the desk....WHAM!
Whatches everyone taking notes jump in thier seats....and grinz...yes there will be a test.
We will start with oral exams, and then.... notices ADR pass a note to Des...
Walks over and takes note...and looks at ADR and Des
Opens note and watches their faces change expression as I read note
*walks back and sits behind the desk...ummm well a change of plans, seems something has suddenly come up...class is done early for the day your all free to go....
uh uh uh...not you two...you two go stand in the corner together...
I just love this job!
Apparently, sometimes it's good to be a little naughty.
Kajira Callista
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Re: Re: Geeze la petes!
hmmm i would love to be naughty with des and adr.Desdemona said:Apparently, sometimes it's good to be a little naughty.
rosco rathbone
1. f3e5 2. g4??
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This seems tautological to me; but I'm all for it.RJMasters said:
rosco rathbone
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RJMasters said:
So what about when she won't submit? What to do then, is the kicker.
G
Guest
Guest
witcha said:*takes her copy book and gets out of the classroom sighting* I'm always missing on the good fun..well..will go and revise all my notes now
witcha
*Grin* Care to join me in the break room ...We can ..compare notes?
More seriously..
THe way to a Dom's heart ..Is to be.
To be sincerely.
To be a submissive - the person has to truly want to submit.
{oh and for Roscoe...*grin* I find that biting them on the neck often works..But there is an art to it}
RJMasters
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Re: Re: The way to a Dominant's heart
Perhaps a bit redundant, but important to state for the following reason...
When a conflict within a relationship arises...
No matter how much fun it is to wave a red flag in front of the bull, it is not going to help...Although if it is done often enough it also can be a form of conflict resolution....Opens the door...and out they go. Problem solved.
For me, I am more likely to keep an open mind and rethink my own thoughts on a matter, if a contrary opinion is forth coming from the submissive in a respectful matter and she gracefully accepts my decisions in the matters where we disagree.
Because really it comes down to this...
If you disagree...you can say fuck it and walk away
If you disagree...you can accept it and try to work through it
If you disagree...you can dig your feet in and fight about it till the other person says fuck it and walks away, or gives up and says you win. So you either lose the relationship or top from the bottom.
rosco rathbone said:
Perhaps a bit redundant, but important to state for the following reason...
When a conflict within a relationship arises...
No matter how much fun it is to wave a red flag in front of the bull, it is not going to help...Although if it is done often enough it also can be a form of conflict resolution....Opens the door...and out they go. Problem solved.
For me, I am more likely to keep an open mind and rethink my own thoughts on a matter, if a contrary opinion is forth coming from the submissive in a respectful matter and she gracefully accepts my decisions in the matters where we disagree.
Because really it comes down to this...
If you disagree...you can say fuck it and walk away
If you disagree...you can accept it and try to work through it
If you disagree...you can dig your feet in and fight about it till the other person says fuck it and walks away, or gives up and says you win. So you either lose the relationship or top from the bottom.
Kajira Callista
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lol i dont know why, but i found that really funnyMarquis said:
RJMasters
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Re: Re: The way to a Dominant's heart
Here is a list of the last things a submissive hears when she won't submit. This is like the "last straw kinda thing" and some are even said tongue and cheek...some are not.
~Oh I didn't know YOU wanted to be the one in charge... here are the reigns.
(The type of submissives I know would jump 10 feet back away from the reigns and rethink the matter.)
~Rolls up sleves, what the fuck did you just say?
(Yeah...nows a good time to run.)
~Excuse me...but have you seen my submissive around here? She was here just a moment ago...
(body check)
~Is that your final word on the matter? You sure? Congatulations you just graduated from Dom/me school. Now all you need is a submissive...here's your dip'loma...good luck
(yeah in case you missed it...that was goodbye)
Of course there is always a possibility of it being an undiscovered limit, which just came to the surface...have to allow for that. In which case...I better be hearing a safeword.
Its like I said before RR
I am not into forced submission, either the person I am in a relationship with knows their place and is there because they desire to be a part of me and who I am, or they don't.
Remember that "much" of this is from an online or LDR point of view. And I will also say it again, this is a "Last straw kinda thing". Alot has to happen I think before it gets to this point...and usually before it does, one of ys changes our minds on the matter at hand after discussing it at some length. How quickly we go from point A to point B often depends on the attitude involved on both sides...which is why I posted what I did...as a submissive attitude has the best shot of never reaching point B to begin with.
rosco rathbone said:
Here is a list of the last things a submissive hears when she won't submit. This is like the "last straw kinda thing" and some are even said tongue and cheek...some are not.
~Oh I didn't know YOU wanted to be the one in charge... here are the reigns.
(The type of submissives I know would jump 10 feet back away from the reigns and rethink the matter.)
~Rolls up sleves, what the fuck did you just say?
(Yeah...nows a good time to run.)
~Excuse me...but have you seen my submissive around here? She was here just a moment ago...
(body check)
~Is that your final word on the matter? You sure? Congatulations you just graduated from Dom/me school. Now all you need is a submissive...here's your dip'loma...good luck
(yeah in case you missed it...that was goodbye)
Of course there is always a possibility of it being an undiscovered limit, which just came to the surface...have to allow for that. In which case...I better be hearing a safeword.
Its like I said before RR
I am not into forced submission, either the person I am in a relationship with knows their place and is there because they desire to be a part of me and who I am, or they don't.
Remember that "much" of this is from an online or LDR point of view. And I will also say it again, this is a "Last straw kinda thing". Alot has to happen I think before it gets to this point...and usually before it does, one of ys changes our minds on the matter at hand after discussing it at some length. How quickly we go from point A to point B often depends on the attitude involved on both sides...which is why I posted what I did...as a submissive attitude has the best shot of never reaching point B to begin with.
Netzach
>semiotics?
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Re: Re: Re: The way to a Dominant's heart
Recently, I was going to cane M for my birthday spankings. I was slinking around in a tank top, the patent heels with metal stilettoes and a smile, with a cane in my hands. His reaction - "you're going to cane me? I hate it."
Now some of you would pitch your sub out into the snow, this is my intended spouse, the parameter of the relationship allows for "headaches" and "vanilla time" and it's not a 24/7 thing. So I said nothing, packed up the cane, took off my heels and put on some panties and picked up a book.
He practically chased me around the house saying " no no I mean I hate it but I'll let you do it" for the next half hour. I'm not into silent treatment--
We had a good discussion about appropriate self expression, ways to tell Netz things without being hurtful and rude about it.
RJMasters said:
Recently, I was going to cane M for my birthday spankings. I was slinking around in a tank top, the patent heels with metal stilettoes and a smile, with a cane in my hands. His reaction - "you're going to cane me? I hate it."
Now some of you would pitch your sub out into the snow, this is my intended spouse, the parameter of the relationship allows for "headaches" and "vanilla time" and it's not a 24/7 thing. So I said nothing, packed up the cane, took off my heels and put on some panties and picked up a book.
He practically chased me around the house saying " no no I mean I hate it but I'll let you do it" for the next half hour. I'm not into silent treatment--
We had a good discussion about appropriate self expression, ways to tell Netz things without being hurtful and rude about it.
RJMasters
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Re: Re: Re: Geeze la petes!
lol what are you talking about?
You are always in permant detention. I think there is a desk with your name plaque on it or something.
Taps the pointer on my desk....Points to the corner...you can just join your cohorts over there.
Kajira Callista said:hmmm i would love to be naughty with des and adr.
lol what are you talking about?
You are always in permant detention. I think there is a desk with your name plaque on it or something.
Taps the pointer on my desk....Points to the corner...you can just join your cohorts over there.
Kajira Callista
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Geeze la petes!
*snaps gum and twirls hair, staring blankly at him as i wait for an answer*
ya mean io dont get my own corna mista mastas?RJMasters said:lol what are you talking about?
You are always in permant detention. I think there is a desk with your name plaque on it or something.
Taps the pointer on my desk....Points to the corner...you can just join your cohorts over there.
*snaps gum and twirls hair, staring blankly at him as i wait for an answer*
Desdemona
Ellie Mae's evil auntie
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Re: Re: Re: The way to a Dominant's heart
OK, I've been thinking about this one while standing in the corner with adr and kc. I see some shades of gray. I think it depends upon the parameters of the relationship. Some relationships are 24/7 and the submissive gives up all rights. That's one thing. Others, like Netz has described, provide for vanilla time. There are so many permutations of the power exchange that are possible. For instance, are we talking about sexual submission or are we talking about submission in other areas of the relationship such as finances, career, child care issues, etc?
From my perspective, we're all adults. Unless the submissive has given up all rights, or there are other arrangements in place, there ought to be room for respectful disagreement and discussion between the 2 adult partners. Additionally, sometimes you find in the course of the relationship that the submissive simply can't go where you want him or her to go. That's not about being less submissive; it's about limits, human dignity, emotional health, ssc, etc. At that point, you both have a decision to make in terms of whether or not you've found a deal breaker.
RJMasters said:
OK, I've been thinking about this one while standing in the corner with adr and kc. I see some shades of gray. I think it depends upon the parameters of the relationship. Some relationships are 24/7 and the submissive gives up all rights. That's one thing. Others, like Netz has described, provide for vanilla time. There are so many permutations of the power exchange that are possible. For instance, are we talking about sexual submission or are we talking about submission in other areas of the relationship such as finances, career, child care issues, etc?
From my perspective, we're all adults. Unless the submissive has given up all rights, or there are other arrangements in place, there ought to be room for respectful disagreement and discussion between the 2 adult partners. Additionally, sometimes you find in the course of the relationship that the submissive simply can't go where you want him or her to go. That's not about being less submissive; it's about limits, human dignity, emotional health, ssc, etc. At that point, you both have a decision to make in terms of whether or not you've found a deal breaker.
RJMasters
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Geeze la petes!
You know the rules...no gum chewing in class either...holds out the end of stick...
*watches you place gum on end of stick....
And no you don't get your own corner....nods in the direction od ADR and Des....git!
If you three keep up this behavior...I am going to be force to hold you back for another year.....again.
Kajira Callista said:ya mean io dont get my own corna mista mastas?
You know the rules...no gum chewing in class either...holds out the end of stick...
*watches you place gum on end of stick....
And no you don't get your own corner....nods in the direction od ADR and Des....git!
If you three keep up this behavior...I am going to be force to hold you back for another year.....again.
Kajira Callista
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*bumps n grinds over to the corner with the girls* sorry...listening to bb king. lol
Kajira Callista
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*slips another piece in my mouth from my secret stash*
RJMasters
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Re: Re: Re: Re: The way to a Dominant's heart
yeah good points Des.
I don't think I am trying to set aside what you are saying...
In any relationship I am in, there is always room for respectful disagreement. When I started this thread....I mentioned this....
I often see or hear about things submissives want/need in their relationships with their Dom/me. Maybe I am tossing out a vowel.
I think the only point I am trying to make, is how I as a Dom react. And though I wouldn't put on panties and get a book, I think I would behave very much in the same way as Netz in that situation. And I do not consider that as being anywhere close to point B or goodbye.
So its not so much about laying down a law here or policy...its more in the spirit of....these are thing which I find attractive....this is how I react when "such and such" happens. Because we are in a relationship with a D/s dynamic...there is an avenuse which can be used to touch the Dom in me. You can use it, or not...kinda of thing.
When I see or hear a submissive fustrated and upset over something that is going on in their relationship...I ask them what have they done about it? As I listen I shake my head alot, because I know what they have done has not been done through a proper expression of a submissive spirit....and so I simply say, have you tried submitting?
There have been countless times I have relented my position or have made room for respectful disagreement. Anytime one comes to me and says...
Sir...I am trouble about this and I need:
To talk about it...
Help and asssurance...
Your understanding
Its all about how one approaches. If this is known, why try to do it the hard way?
Its funny, but you can pretty much get away with calling me an inconsiderate bastard and if said in an appropriate way, I wouldn't become defensive...and chances are I know it is true at times, I can be an inconsiderate bastard(though its rarely ever intentional)...so I might agree and apologize for it. Might even thank you for bringing it to my attention...and will make future steps to avoid making the same mistake in the future...Wow imagine that.
Desdemona said:
yeah good points Des.
I don't think I am trying to set aside what you are saying...
In any relationship I am in, there is always room for respectful disagreement. When I started this thread....I mentioned this....
I often see or hear about things submissives want/need in their relationships with their Dom/me. Maybe I am tossing out a vowel.
I think the only point I am trying to make, is how I as a Dom react. And though I wouldn't put on panties and get a book, I think I would behave very much in the same way as Netz in that situation. And I do not consider that as being anywhere close to point B or goodbye.
So its not so much about laying down a law here or policy...its more in the spirit of....these are thing which I find attractive....this is how I react when "such and such" happens. Because we are in a relationship with a D/s dynamic...there is an avenuse which can be used to touch the Dom in me. You can use it, or not...kinda of thing.
When I see or hear a submissive fustrated and upset over something that is going on in their relationship...I ask them what have they done about it? As I listen I shake my head alot, because I know what they have done has not been done through a proper expression of a submissive spirit....and so I simply say, have you tried submitting?
There have been countless times I have relented my position or have made room for respectful disagreement. Anytime one comes to me and says...
Sir...I am trouble about this and I need:
To talk about it...
Help and asssurance...
Your understanding
Its all about how one approaches. If this is known, why try to do it the hard way?
Its funny, but you can pretty much get away with calling me an inconsiderate bastard and if said in an appropriate way, I wouldn't become defensive...and chances are I know it is true at times, I can be an inconsiderate bastard(though its rarely ever intentional)...so I might agree and apologize for it. Might even thank you for bringing it to my attention...and will make future steps to avoid making the same mistake in the future...Wow imagine that.
