The way to a Dominant's heart

[A Desert Rose]

Me thinks you were also too busy to note the 'perceived' before 'competiton'.

Catalina

Catalina, this is all inappropriate... this is not Gorspeak, it is Shakespearespeak.

this girl humbly thinks you need some GOR lessons too!! aaaaaaaahahahhahah.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Catalina, this is all inappropriate... this is not Gorspeak, it is Shakespearespeak.

this girl humbly thinks you need some GOR lessons too!! aaaaaaaahahahhahah.

LMFAO!

 

[A Desert Rose]

LMFAO!

(how am I doing?)

is this girl doing better at Gorspeakshit?

 

[Kajira Callista]

(how am I doing?)

is this girl doing better at Gorspeakshit?

this girl thinks that that girl is learning this stuff quickly.

thats almost a tongue twister.

 

[A Desert Rose]

this girl thinks that that girl is learning this stuff quickly.

thats almost a tongue twister.

This is the most fun I've had in days... LOL

And yes... you are full of yourself and rightly so!!!!

 

[Kajira Callista]

This is the most fun I've had in days... LOL

And yes... you are full of yourself and rightly so!!!!

me too....nice to see the board moving at least!

 

[A Desert Rose]

P.S. i think the box is empty now.

 

[Kajira Callista]

P.S. i think the box is empty now.

oh...i was only sending this

 

[rebeccaMH]

 

[AngelicAssassin]

The way to this Dominants heart is to

• Originally posted by Shadowsdream be sincere about submission.
  
  Agree.
  
  
• Originally posted by Shadowsdream be honest about limits.
  
  Agree.
  
  
• Originally posted by Shadowsdream have the softest eyes that can easily be brought to tears.
  
  Disagree.
  
  i acknowledge "this dominant" in your post, and perhaps we just differ in taste. i don't require soft eyes, nor readily falling tears. i want to know i, alone, soften those eyes. If i have to work for the tears, well ... let's just say WHOB likes a good hunt.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Ssmiles Ssmiles Ssmiles Ssmiles

i don't suppose mentioning that i am the manager of a popular site dedicated soley to humor in BDSM and Ds will have much impact on this thread. Guess there is little point either of informing Yyou that i am 'Le Presidente' of The submisives Union (voted by immediate peers) is going to cut me any slack on this thread huh.

RJ Sir You have private mail *winks*.

Will return here later when i am awake reread, reenjoy and readress after i have washed my bad doll hair, inhaled some caffeine and fluffed my furs. I love being a girllllllllll.

by the way did i mention i strongly sense that some of Yyou seriously 'rock'.

lurrrrrrrrrrve rebecca

Okay... this one made me pee my pants... LMAO!!!! seriously.

 

[A Desert Rose]

• Originally posted by Shadowsdream be sincere about submission.
  
  Agree.
  
  
• Originally posted by Shadowsdream be honest about limits.
  
  Agree.
  
  
• Originally posted by Shadowsdream have the softest eyes that can easily be brought to tears.
  
  Disagree.
  
  i acknowledge "this dominant" in your post, and perhaps we just differ in taste. i don't require soft eyes, nor readily falling tears. i want to know i, alone, soften those eyes. If i have to work for the tears, well ... let's just say WHOB likes a good hunt.

And what are you doing here? Trying to get this thread back on track or something????

Sheeeesh....

 

[rebeccaMH]

 

[AngelicAssassin]

perhaps i was having my submissive wrist slapped and i don't think in a 'nice' way.

Welcome to the forum. Take this as a suggestion, not a demand. Click me.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

And what are you doing here? Trying to get this thread back on track or something????

Sheeeesh....

Darlin' ... we're friends, correct?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

As a Dom these things are true for me...perhaps other can share what is true for them or comment on what others share.

Hey Teach ... when in doubt, make them write the following 126 rules on the blackboard ...

... as many times as you wish ...

Click me.

Considering a certain Dominant missed his workout last Wednesday, i tried to find something particulary cruel as a gentle reminder.

 

[RJMasters]

Re: Re: The way to a Dominant's heart

I was thinking of bending all three over the teacher's desk with raised skirts...and orchestrating "Row Row Row Your Boat" in a three part round robin, making sure to keep time with well placed strikes of my pointing stick.

However, your suggested punishment would probably do more good.


Ah yes....when one steps out to lead it is painfully obvious when they blow it, a risk of the trade as it were. I have decided on my punishment and it will be obvious later this evening.

Hey Teach ... when in doubt, make them write the following 126 rules on the blackboard ...

... as many times as you wish ...

Click me.

Considering a certain Dominant missed his workout last Wednesday, i tried to find something particulary cruel as a gentle reminder.

 

[ethereal~minx]

perhaps you did not say this RJ but what I read seemed to say~
I'm dominant therefore you submit to me perfectly despite the times when you feel like you are not heard, like your vulnerabilities are not understood or appreciated. You may have no weakness AND you must submit to mine.

I truly do not want to believe that is what you said...that just because you're dominant, the submissive must fall in line because it is her "place" to do so.

when I began this 'journey' I was told that there is really no dominance without submission and vice versa. I have held on to that belief since that time and when I meet someone that believes "I am dominant, therefore submit to me and trust me explicitly in your mind, body & soul" I have felt dishonored or disrespected. Maybe I don't know what d/s is. Maybe my view is vanilla but it seems to me that you really can't have one strength without the other and only when both strengths are honored and revered is it D/s.

I have also been told that communication, where the submissive is allowed to 'negotiate' or express her reservations is not D/s because then she is not being submissive to him and his words...because then she's not 'obeying' him & his wishes, blindly. The only kernal of knowledge I hear in this is that the submissive 'communicate' in her submissive strength and not as a Dominant. But the submissive may be the most submissive strength in the world and still have the potential to sound threatening to the dominant...if the dominant felt she was-- perhaps he is seeing his own weakness and the place for him to fall into his proper 'place'=== God=like Dominance with compassion, strength and benevolence.

thank God we're not all perfect, what would we need eachother for?

 

[RJMasters]

perhaps you did not say this RJ but what I read seemed to say~
I'm dominant therefore you submit to me perfectly despite the times when you feel like you are not heard, like your vulnerabilities are not understood or appreciated. You may have no weakness AND you must submit to mine.

I truly do not want to believe that is what you said...that just because you're dominant, the submissive must fall in line because it is her "place" to do so.

nope I didn't say that...re-read some of the other posts I made I the thread.

I am not saying a submissive has to submit at all....what I am saying is that as a Dominant, I respond better when a submissive chooses to use submission when interacting with me...point and case read the exchange I had with Des in this thread.

 

[Marquis]

thank God we're not all perfect, what would we need eachother for?

Ahhh, you might've just explained why I don't need anybody.

 

[ethereal~minx]

...if she always chose to use submission with you when you have stepped over the line~ behaving in your masculine strength a little too far that it hurts/threatens her in some way...

you would recognize that she is behaving in her feminine strength by submitting to you .... and you would ultimately come to recognize your own weakness through her pain and ...submit to her heart.

just thinking... thanks.

 

[Desdemona]

...if she always chose to use submission with you when you have stepped over the line~ behaving in your masculine strength a little too far that it hurts/threatens her in some way...

you would recognize that she is behaving in her feminine strength by submitting to you .... and you would ultimately come to recognize your own weakness through her pain and ...submit to her heart.

just thinking... thanks.

Interesting theory. In fact I tried it in my former relationship. It didn't work out that way. Maybe it would in another relationship for someone else. I don't know. At this point, I merely know there are some lines I don't cross and they are now in my hard limit list.

 

[Esclava]

<----Doesn't want to be in trouble with the other note takers...

...so, I just won't pass them around.

Esclava

...going to lurk a bit longer ...

 

[ethereal~minx]

Interesting theory. In fact I tried it in my former relationship. It didn't work out that way. Maybe it would in another relationship for someone else. I don't know. At this point, I merely know there are some lines I don't cross and they are now in my hard limit list.

I can only imagine this working when each holds the other as the most important strength in their lives-- when both recognize they are dominant or submissive only because they have the other in their life-- when both honor and respect eachother as individuals.

I cannot imagine a relationship any other way... even though I am not perfect, I know I deserve respect for who I am right now. We all have different experience, different knowledge, different awareness & perception and we're together to share it and expand... and if that mutual respect is not there, he aint either.

 

[RJMasters]

I can only imagine this working when each holds the other as the most important strength in their lives-- when both recognize they are dominant or submissive only because they have the other in their life-- when both honor and respect eachother as individuals.

I cannot imagine a relationship any other way... even though I am not perfect, I know I deserve respect for who I am right now. We all have different experience, different knowledge, different awareness & perception and we're together to share it and expand... and if that mutual respect is not there, he aint either.

What is often the biggest point of contention...is when a matter is disagreed upon...does the submissive feel she is not respected if the Dom/me does not agree.

I guess that really depends on the matter at hand...and if the Dom/me has a track record of proven trust enough that the submissive knows that even if they disagree on this matter, they trust and believe the Dom/me does have their best welfare in mind. Stressing...proven track record.

Example of for her own good:...Submissive is always having money trouble because she does not keep track of the checks she writes or balance her check book. this leads to her writing checks that bounce and cause pentalty charges...which waste more money.

I put my foot in her ass and say that is going to stop right now. You will keep a current check register after every single check you write and will know exactly how much money you have in your account at all times.

I don't care if she agrees with me about this or not...I know its for her own good, and as long as she calls me Sir...she will do this. If she fails, I will punish her to an acceptable point where she will wish to god she hadn't and most likely will not fail again in this area.

Example of for my pleasure: Submissive states she wants to please me. I state to swallow instead of spit will do that. Submissive says she don't like that. I ask her what she means by do not like? Is that a limit(soft/hard). No, she responds. Then to please me is to do something you do not like. Please explain why you do not like it(as I want to know). I don't like the feel of it as it slides down my throat...and I feel degraded when made to. Thank you.

Now I have a choice don't I...I can force her to do it...knowing her objections, or not. The point is, it is my choice. For me, I probably wouldn't go for the forced thing, though I could still be within my right to do it, more than likely I would seek to over a peroid of time talk about it, and see if I could change how she thinks about the degrading part. I could explain why it brings me pleasure givng her a reason to want to, instead of have to, as I would enjoy it more knowing she wanted to in order to please me. Though if I do decide to force it, knowing what I know will effect how I go about forcing, and it will certainly effect aftercare. It will also have its own place of specialness in that I know she did it, even though she doesn't like it.

And instead of "not" respecting her, it will increase my respect for her. She put my wants ahead of her wants.

I like what Netz said in a different thread...To own and dominate another person, I must put my wants ahead of their wants, but not put my wants ahead of their needs.

A submissive who understands to be submissive in a relationship, her wants must come second putting their Dom/me wants ahead of their own, trusting that their needs will be respected. If they go into a relationship not expecting to be self sacrificing or if a submissive has an attitude that to be respected her wants must be agreed to...I ask what the hell is submissive about that?

The truth is alot of women enter a D/s relationship not because they are submissive or truely want to submit, they do it because of the intense love, care and devotion a Dominate will focus on them. And everything is hunky dori until, they are asked to do something they don't "want" to do and then cry the Dom/me is walking all over them not respecting them and using them as a doormat.

That is why I said agreement is not neccessary to submit, consent is.

The name of the game in submission is...giving and self sacrifice.
The name of the game in Dominance is...having inner character worthy enough to receive a person who is giving and self sacrificing.

The name of the game in D/s is...trust, sincerity and a willingness to put the others "needs" ahead of your own on both sides of the "/"

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