Things you may not know about me

[Liar]

You have nice toes.

*groan*

 

[flyguy69]

*groan*

I was going to make a hump joke.

 

[annaswirls]

I love your mother.

When I was eighteen, I had this conversation with my mother.

"I can't come over this weekend, mom. I'm going to spend some time with Clara."

"Who's Clara?"

"My...eh...girlfriend."

"Girlfriend? Do you have a girlfirend? A girlfriend-girlfriend?"

"Um...yes."

"But I thought you were gay."

"Yeah, so did I."

"Oh well. Are you still coming by on Wednesday?"

"Yep."

"Good. See you then. Bye."

Let's just say that in my family, people do not make chickens out of feathers very often.

 

[Guest]

I was going to make a hump joke.

THE CAMEL'S HUMP

The sexual urge of the camel
Is greater than anyone thinks,
For 'tis recorded that once in a fit of wild passion
One tried to rape the Sphinx.

But the Sphinx's posterior opening
Was clogged by the sands of the Nile,
Which accounts for the hump on the camel
And the Sphinx's inscrutable smile!

OK Liar. Now you can groan.

 

[Angeline]

More

I'm left-handed in most things, but I play right-handed guitar.

I'm triple jointed in my hands and hips.

My native language is English, but I am also fluent in pig latin. I know some Spanish and I'm not bad at Middle English.

I've taught junior high, high school, and college freshman English. I most like working with the kids nobody else wants.

I was an editor for years. I also edited and wrote questions for TOEFL, SAT, GRE and all those standardized test programs. I am, as a result, very good at Trivial Pursuit.

I love English grammar. Strange, I know, but I find it endlessly fascinating.

My family is orginally from Manhattan. Most people don't notice my accent, but I get very New Yawk under stress.

I love most music but am obsessed with jazz--mostly 1930s to 1950's, bluesey jazz. I consider music equal with writing as an influence on who I am.

My parents owned a coin and stamp store. I know a lot about rare coins and stamps--not that I ever particularly wanted to, but they (the rents) would go on about it.

I know everything about the Beatles. If there were a PhD in Beatles, I'd have six.

I love, luff, lurve eagleyez. I met him here on this very forum a little over two years ago in a thread called 12-Bar Blues. We read each other's poems, started talking in pm and haven't shut up since. We have been together in the real world since April '04. I blame Darkmaas. He started the thread.

I almost never actively watch tv--haven't for years. My tv bank is pretty full though due to a steady childhood diet of toons, sit coms, and the Ed Sullivan Show. I make an exception for major league baseball.

I think my favorite poem in the world is Yeats The Wild Swans at Coole.

 

[Maria2394]

damn you beat me to that one too!!!

I had on #1 I can't decide if I want to be Sabina or if I just want Sabina

but I chickened out
as always
which is why i never kissed a girl of course

oh, I dont know Sabina!! but anna, I have kissed a girl, and oddly enough, her name was Jinny...she smoked and had awful breath and I havent kissed a nother woman since. I would kiss you though, just to taste your poetry

 

[WickedEve]

oh, I dont know Sabina!! but anna, I have kissed a girl, and oddly enough, her name was Jinny...she smoked and had awful breath and I havent kissed a nother woman since. I would kiss you though, just to taste your poetry

What's with all this girl kissing?! It's either "I've kissed a girl" "I want to kiss a girl" "Girls are blowing kisses."

I think "I want to kiss a girl" would make a great title for a poem!

 

[WickedEve]

I think you missed my subtle change in the quote - not that that had anything to do with the camel's flacidity. I think it was the wire fence between you that did it.



Mmmmm camel sex.

There were no fences. It's our local safari park.

When you say camel sex, you mean smoke a camel after sex, right? Right?

 

[Liar]

What's with all this girl kissing?! It's either "I've kissed a girl" "I want to kiss a girl" "Girls are blowing kisses."

I think "I want to kiss a girl" would make a great title for a poem!

Dam, doesn't anybody wanna kissa boy around here?

 

[flyguy69]

There were no fences. It's our local safari park.

When you say camel sex, you mean smoke a camel after sex, right? Right?

So these two guys go to a local safari park and they see this camel with a neck so long and flexible it can lick its own balls. The first guy says "Man, I wish I could do that!" The second guy thinks a bit and says "Don't you think you should pet him first?"

 

[Guest]

Oh yeah!
I kissed a girl.
I kissed both set of lips.

I just wished she would've shaved.
I was flossing while performing
cunnilingus.

When I was done,
I finished with Listerine.

I never did it again,

and I lie, too.

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

Dam, doesn't anybody wanna kissa boy around here?

where would you like your ?

 

[Liar]

where would you like your ?

Where would you like to put it?

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

Where would you like to put it?

my goodness we are a randy bunch today...

ps. I can think of several spots.

 

[WickedEve]

Dam, doesn't anybody wanna kissa boy around here?

It doesn't appear so.

 

[WickedEve]

Oh yeah!
I kissed a girl.
I kissed both set of lips.

I just wished she would've shaved.
I was flossing while performing
cunnilingus.

When I was done,
I finished with Listerine.

I never did it again,

and I lie, too.

Um... lie about what? Never again doing a girl, or never again finsihing with listerine?

 

[Guest]

Um... lie about what? Never again doing a girl, or never again finsihing with listerine?

Yeah, I did it again. She let me shave her the second time around. Good Lord! It took 3 razors, a bowl of hot water, and lotion. I think it took me over an hour. What a bush! What was even worse is that she had the same color pubs as me. I was bi-curious at the time, and always wanted to try a brunette, and ended up with a strawberry blonde. Ish! I only liked the receiving part. I don't know or care anymore if all pussy's smell or taste the same. All I know is that I didn't like it and thank God she was a fast cummer. <- oh, that sounded funny! Ha, and yes, I Listerined the second time, too!

Me is 100% straight. No more bi-curious. *shakes head* I need to go brush my teeth now. Oh, the memory is haunting me. And I need to shave tonight, too. I can't. Good God! Maybe I should do a brunette just to forget my first experience. O Oo Oo oO...why did I start this? Damn me!

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

kissing women is great...their lips are sweet and soft, course I like men too...women are beautiful...men have their own beauty...oh sheezzz I can't decide! I will just take both.

 

[bogusbrig]

I don't know or care anymore if all pussy's smell or taste the same. All I know is that I didn't like it and thank God she was a fast cummer. <- oh, that sounded funny!

There's nothing wrong with woman l'eau normale, it's when they start putting on all those fancy colognes and body lotions. It's like licking the bottom of a fison's vat.

Women! Stop buying all that smelly stuff. You taste and smell sweet enough without it!

 

[WickedEve]

Yeah, I did it again. She let me shave her the second time around. Good Lord! It took 3 razors, a bowl of hot water, and lotion. I think it took me over an hour. What a bush!

You're talking human female, right?

 

[Tathagata]

According to the doctors I should be dead, there is no reason I survived having 3 arteries blocked 100% and the other 99%

I was the singer in a punk band ,and one of our songs was called " Enema OD"

My best friend and his mother were murdered by his father in a horrible case of domestic violence..

Singing, to me, is spiritual and I do it often

I am a great cook if a wok is involved

I have read the Tao Te Ching and the Bible several times

I have shaken Bo Diddley's hand twice

I danced with half clothed jamaican women at a reggae party where I was the only white boy there...and was the first to leave at 3 am

I am the 16th descendant of John Alden from the Mayflower

I can drink you under the table

I can sing " Silencio" with Ibrahim Ferrer and hit almost every note

I am becoming empty..more and more..day by day

I found true love, too late, and don't regret it

Crows speak to me

I have memorized Marx Bros routines to use in public

I have many tattoos

My nickname was " Smiley Mescalito"

I have hard time telling people that I don't take any of this seriously because it seems to annoy them.



I am the eggman
they are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob

 

[WickedEve]

Wow, tath. That post could be a poem.

 

[annaswirls]

I can drink you under the table

dear god I want so badly to be dirty right now
to confess what the words under the table
do to me, to confess that I willingly put myself there,
dear god, he read the bible several times!
and I just want to be so naughty in replying to his wonderful post...

 

[Guest]

You're talking human female, right?

Don't talk like that! I'm dog sitting tonight and the one is licking her crotch. I wish I was more flexible.

 

[Reltne]

Wow, tath. That post could be a poem.

Wow, Tath. It already is!