To keep the review thread clean...

[Angeline]

i have become the hand
that i miss in photos
the one that held mine
when crossing streets
and smoothed my cowlick
with dipity do

i am the bringer of wonder
who bends the rules
to make anyday a birthday
and who secrets jelly candy
out of the air
into tiny fists

if you live long enough
you get to recreate
the good parts
instead of just
remembering them

I know what inspired this poem.

Dippity Do, huh? We used to do our hair with that at pajama parties. lol.

 

[Tathagata]

I know what inspired this poem.

Dippity Do, huh? We used to do our hair with that at pajama parties. lol.

yeah
finally my dad got me some Brillcreme ( sp?)
i was always terrified someone would find out I had girl junk in my hair

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

Wednesday Review's

ok, here's the deal banana peal

I am running late so I will be here later with the reviews...now I have to go to work for a bit.
Sabina

 

[Syndra Lynn]

Misunderstood poem~

I want to thank everyone who took the time to read and comment on Lost & Found yesterday. It was written after a bad experience with infidelity and subsequent undeserved, though blessed, forgiveness.

From the comments and feedback I received, I guess it didn't come across that way?

At any rate, it was picked up locally by a song writer and will be in production in a studio in San Francisco soon.

Syn

 

[Uncle Pervey]

Sorry 'bout that!

Seventeen new poems for Tuesday May 17th.

First Kaishaku’s A Caught my eye, I have a feeling it is a spatial that got bent out of shape but the poem itself is a delightful play an words.

Next dcpoet gives us a bitter look at the debris of broken relationships with Sinkholes.

I think Shattered a poem about the fragility of life by a relatively new (to us) poet, Zanzibar is well worth a visit and vote.

I’m going to mention Blue Skies by Uncle Pervey simply because, for once, he’s written a non-pervey poem. It’s not particularly good, doesn’t scan evenly but at least it’s not about incest.

Several other poets are represented by works I felt didn't live up to their proven potential. Maybe I'm just in a nit-picky mood. Now, if you haven't yet, go read, vote and comment.

Sorry about the poem. I was feeling particularly sentimenta, and got somewhat mushy with it. I did count my sylables though. Uncle Pervey.

 

[Fast1]

Rybka,
Thank you your mention. I always read your reviews with interest.
Fast1

 

[ishtat]

French Connections

Two poems with French connections are worth searching for today.

 

[Guest]

ah yes
well
hmm
i stumble on in here and look around
yeah
i've dona a few shots with my daughters friend
whom i deny is hot when she flaunts her breasts
in a tank top
ahhhhhm a good boy

yea well
i'm not sure what it is i need to say
other than
ya know
you people
check it out that hammer in your hand
there are people who are just frozen
because they are afraid of that hammer
snort cough
mmm
yes well
i have the key but you know
i don't wanna fuck everything up
upset the status quo
wreak havoc
et al

but ummmmmm
~sipppppppppp~


truth hides where it thinks you can see it
weaved into arcane phrases
it's cleaved
split like
wet wanting sex
truth is thick
and clinging
and we are afraid of it being seen on our
clothes

and we launder it away
with a sigh
of relief

Nice Tath ~
For some reason this made me think of OT. I miss him.

 

[Guest]

Oh no. Another space cowboy!

 

[MercyMia]

Where are you? I haven't had a PM from you in ages.

 

[eagleyez]

Is poetry born of silence
the thundering moments of truth
thoughtful memories
or remorse and regret
I am a solitary person
sufficient unto myself
I like to think
in those silent minutes
before birdsong
and traffic the words
flow and settle in random
sediment like grains of sand
or warp theads in a loom
where patterns appear
as if by magic to make
a whole were a hole
once was.

*chirp*

lovely mosaic of imagery and sentiment.

 

[Rybka]

Welcome back, stranger! I've really missed your poetry and comments! I hope all is well and you have come to stay awhile!

 

[Tathagata]

One more for you to be sure and read:


Hope You're Still Listening
by Dustystar

i was going to post this too
thanks
; )

 

[duckiesmut]

i was going to post this too
thanks
; )

Ywelcome.

 

[WickedEve]

(Same thing goes for anything by Wicked Eve, so check out her scribblings during some slow minutes.)

well, thanks for sneaking that little mention in there, but it wasn't needed. it really was scribbled while waiting for someone to call me back. lol

 

[twelveoone]

well, thanks for sneaking that little mention in there, but it wasn't needed. it really was scribbled while waiting for someone to call me back. lol

hey it was the best scribblin' I seen, the "call" bothered me - it brought it down from what I thought was Dickenson territory - welcome back, seems like years, when was your last poem anyway?

 

[Angeline]

Thank you Rybka for recommending my poem Ted Berrigan Spoke When I.

It is about the other morning when I woke up thinking about his poem A Certain Slant of Sunlight, which is a great poem. I just posted it in the share a poet thread if anyone wants to read it.

 

[Rybka]

Interesting...
I see this woman mentioned in the past few days by:
Rybka
PatCarrington
My Erotic Tale
I did not see Petitioning the Lower Circuit mentioned. Probably Eileen82 has a committed a serious crime with this one.
A plea for clemency!

Fucking metaphors.
In the driest language of the law
there are none.


well, in the middle of this poem, she takes language that is difficult to work with and makes it kick ass.

Despite what I consider a fatal flaw, there is a part of this that awes me.

I find this poetess very interesting. She has been a member since 2000 and posted one story that year out a total of eight (Which I have not read). In 2002 she posted a spurt of four poems, all erotic, and all (IMO) above average for that genre here at Literotica. A couple are very good, 5s for erotic poetry, and I gave them that, something I seldom do for erotic poetry.
This month, Eileen82 has erupted again with four more poems, this time all non-erotic. I hope she does not turn off the flow again.
I think all of her work demonstrates creative talent as well as language proficiency and deserves to be read by the other poets on this forum. I also agree with twelveoone that the works are uneven, although I don’t think I would say “fatally flawed”, or that I am “awed”. Rather I would say that here is a writer well worth reading and hopefully watching grow and learning to edit, prune, and polish, as so many of the rest of us have done. Perhaps someday we will watch another Lit. fledgling spread her wings and fly to higher heights.

 

[twelveoone]

Rybka, we agree, sort of...
I stand by my words. I was awed, yet nothing kills worse than a bad beginning and a bad ending; alright near fatal, she managed to punch though with an eye-catching middle.
BTW liked your Rainbow Haiku, another difficult thing to pull off.

 

[Rybka]

Rybka, we agree, sort of...
I stand by my words. I was awed, yet nothing kills worse than a bad beginning and a bad ending; alright near fatal, she managed to punch though with an eye-catching middle.
BTW liked your Rainbow Haiku, another difficult thing to pull off.

I'd never want to do more than 'sort of agree' with you. Where would be the fun in thinking all the same?

Thanks for your mention of and your comment on my haiku, which actually happened yesterday. I was checking to see why my Memorial Day poem wasn't posted (submitted at the same time, but still pending) and noticed that it already has been bombed. Oh well. . . De gustibus. . .

 

[duckiesmut]

who do Mondays?
four in a row, I felt inclined to leave me blah, blah on..

The 'who do' is me, but you mentioned the ones I would have, so here are the rest of the
New Poems, just in case.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

The 'who do' is me, but you mentioned the ones I would have, so here are the rest of the
New Poems, just in case.

Thank you for listing my "letter" with your poems.. though it isn't a poem.. I didn't know where to place it.

 

[Angeline]

who do Mondays?
four in a row, I felt inclined to leave me blah, blah on..

The Californian Deed by Bogusbrig

Rainbow Haiku by Rybka - read it damn it

Chrysalis
by Kaishaku, by a guy who when he is off, is not off by much, a good thing considering his name

Here's Another Lie by Angeline, who breaks out of the tight stucture that I get so tired of looking at; and is almost never off.

and so many more, that are a certainly above the average lately, read 'em damn it, and leave comments, today most certainly is a good day, and forgive my enthusiasm.

Thank you twelveoone for the mention of my poem. I decided I agree with you about the silvery green auras, but I'm not sure yet about the kitchen part.

I still write a lot of free verse, you know. It's just not all here.

 

[twelveoone]

The 'who do' is me, but you mentioned the ones I would have, so here are the rest of the
New Poems, just in case.

I sorry, I saw four good ones in a row, that I liked.
I saw alot more better than average today, congrats to the writers.

 

[twelveoone]

I'd never want to do more than 'sort of agree' with you. Where would be the fun in thinking all the same?

Thanks for your mention of and your comment on my haiku, which actually happened yesterday. I was checking to see why my Memorial Day poem wasn't posted (submitted at the same time, but still pending) and noticed that it already has been bombed. Oh well. . . De gustibus. . .

it kind of is disheartening, when some one (that I suspect can't write) comes out and does not. probably disappointed they couldn't find any of the Carlin seven words.
But yeah, came close for English. Very difficult to take forms from one language and do it well in another. I wonder if any sonnets written in Japanese.