To keep the review thread clean...

[Guest]

Removed for touch-up.

 

[bogusbrig]

I just want to thank everyone who voted amd particularly commented on my poems Letter To K and Social Work, not forgetting my other poems. I very much appreciate the comments and I do take note of any critique which have prompted me to make quite a few improvements and rethink things over the months.

Thank you.

 

[tungtied2u]

Thank you

Tath,1201 and du and all you other lovely poets who commented on Poetic Purpose. I appreciate the kind words.

 

[RhymeFairy]

.happy anniversery darling ,,,,
or you forgot what ???????????


If I'd killed you on the day I met you,
I would be out, with good behaviour in ten.
So the question on every ones lips is,
why are we even together then?

If I'd poisoned your tea or your lunch,
With arsenic, hemlock or yew.
You'd be dead and I'd be free,
Well maybe not for a year or two.


I could cut the breaks on the car,
Hold you under in the bath or shower.
Hire a hit man , but that's expensive,
Do you know they charge by the hour?


What if I just shot you with colt 45?
Pulled the trigger at point blank range,
No!! on seconds thoughts. To messy ,
the blood stains Would be hard to explain.

I'll kill you off slowly with kindness,
Extra helping of cream. Cake and beer.
A generous portion of chips and cheese,
Non of those healthy options you fear

No please !!! don't get up from your chair.
Your ruin the groove that you made,
It perfectly fits the shape of your arse,
We wouldn't want that art work to fade.

You've worked so hard to make it,
You and your expanding rubber butt.
If only I had gone ahead and killed you,
Then i would not be in this rut.

I suppose in a way its my own fault,
I never raised my voice or nagged.
But I swear I will do you in someday,,
I wont be happy till your body bagged

I read this. Had to give it a bump.
What a crazy thought ... or is it?

*grins*
Great lil poem~!!

 

[Willow Rain]

No Icarus ending for me
feathers falling in disarray
tumbling head-long
passing puzzled pigeons
on the way clouds
don't cushion but part
politely moving aside
bumping thunderous
sparking forks to blind
my open eyes I want
to see the end
not fall heedless
headless into oblivion.

That's nice, I like it.

 

[BooMerengue]

I read this. Had to give it a bump.
What a crazy thought ... or is it?

*grins*
Great lil poem~!!

Very good choice, RF! StarGirl is the best! And a very good friend, too. Go read more of her work. She'll be glad to know someone is.

 

[Angeline]

Evening brings masts
home, stripped of their labor
and tolling welcome. They creak
to their final rest, slipped
and tied to bed.
Wharf lamps draw flies
into the web of yellow light
as a lullabye washes
over the rocks.

This bench wraps my back
like a lover's hand, stretches
evening from rose to violet.
I linger at the edge
of the harbor-master's gaze

Will you be sailing tonight, sir?

Not tonight. Tonight I am home.
A poet's home.

Welcome home, poet.

 

[RhymeFairy]

my father showed me a white oak
he planted in flooded woods. we
climbed it together.

once.

and sometimes in summer storms
and sometimes in branches bent
by snow I’d imagine I could
hear him moaning as if

he’d evolved into that tree
to say one last thing. but more
often love is a matter of silence.

the dead come back. do they
ever leave at all? it could be
a trick, slipping into dirt
like a worm, a smart play

for peace. gone or hiding,
it was far too easy to forget
the tree. it would be belated

to say it deserved better,
that in a fairer world
it would not have blurred
into one among the others
as if it were the same. I

can’t locate it or the picture
of a man I passed from frame
to scrapbook to shoebox
and forgot in a closet

like a skeleton. and so I return
to these woods with no tongue
and barefoot. to walk quietly,
searching for his risen bones.

Pat,

This leaves me speachless. I love this.
Sad thinking poem.
Like the tree, it speaks to me ... calls me out ...

Wonderfull~!!!!

 

[PatCarrington]

Pat,

This leaves me speachless. I love this.
Sad thinking poem.
Like the tree, it speaks to me ... calls me out ...

Wonderfull~!!!!

thank you, RF.

you're sweet.

 

[flyguy69]

Welcome home, poet.

Thank you, Angeline! It is good to be back.

The phrase "poet's home" is, of course, a possesive, and you know why.

 

[bogusbrig]

I had an anonymous comment asking me if my new poem Meat, is a resubmission. Well...yes and no. The truth is, it was a much shorter poem I was never happy with and regretted posting so I had it deleted. I have since spent some time rewriting it. It is now about twice as long with many lines remaining the same, probably about a third of the poem.

Thanks for the very positive comments, they are very much appreciated.

 

[4degrees]

I had an anonymous comment asking me if my new poem Meat, is a resubmission. Well...yes and no. The truth is, it was a much shorter poem I was never happy with and regretted posting so I had it deleted. I have since spent some time rewriting it. It is now about twice as long with many lines remaining the same, probably about a third of the poem.

Thanks for the very positive comments, they are very much appreciated.

i did that anonymously? thought i logged in. it was me.

love that poem 'brig. its great.

 

[PatCarrington]

hey, fly.

my toes hurt.

how do those girls do all those moves in these terrible shoes?

welcome back.

 

[Angeline]

hey, fly.

my toes hurt.

how do those girls do all those moves in these terrible shoes?

welcome back.

It hurts. I took ballet and toe for ten years as a kid. You stuff your toe shoes with lambswool and it still hurts like hell. If you're good enough to dance professionally it becomes excruciating.

The best dancers learn to dance through the pain--there's a poem in that.

 

[flyguy69]

It hurts. I took ballet and toe for ten years as a kid. You stuff your toe shoes with lambswool and it still hurts like hell. If you're good enough to dance professionally it becomes excruciating.

The best dancers learn to dance through the pain--there's a poem in that.

My sister's feet looked like fists for much of her youth!

 

[4degrees]

thank you tristess for the mention. i'm glad you enjoyed just cause. i was not real thrilled with shit when i wrote it, though...
curt

 

[WickedEve]

Wicked Eve weaves another wonderfully mysterious gothic tale with The Greens Of Swallow Glen Some great lines here.


Thanks, T.
Your pulsating apple is creepy.

 

[Jennifer C]

how do you do it?
raise my spirits with mere words
make the world better with your joy
replace sadness with fun and laughter

how do you do it?
by simply being you
by being the bestest girl
by just being a friend I love

That's lovely Ray, very sweet...

 

[~hellbaby~]

Thanks for the mention The title is because the first line
We gave to ourselves what life never granted
Life is just a bowl of cherries.
- Lew Brown, title of a song
When life gives you lemons make lemonade
The examined life is no picnic.
Robert Fulghum
So I put them all together.I have a hard time with titles.

 

[champagne1982]

To all of you who replied, voted and or commented on my latest poem, thank you. Your words mean that I have touched you, and as creepy as that sounds, I love to be able to do that with my writing.

 

[RhymeFairy]

Sorry ...

had to rethink


My bad...
I do appologise~

 

[CharleyH]

Tathagata has written a poem about death called Death, and stuff. What a surprise, eh?

It's excellent imo because it makes death seem very ordinary, almost companionable, which I think is the point of his poem. I like the monkey a lot you all know and I think he's funny and cool and my friend and all, but he also is a wonderful poet so read him, so just read this poem, ok?

Thanks for intriguing me and pointing to it, I will go check it out, since this is something similar to my own thought on the matter.

 

[Angeline]

Thanks for intriguing me and pointing to it, I will go check it out, since this is something similar to my own thought on the matter.

You're welcome. It would have been even better if I posted the rec in the new poems thread.

(Thanks for the heads up, fishy.)

I'm soooo tired. I need a break from long busy days. And I'm getting one--tomorrow is rest only. Finally.

 

[Angeline]

Tathagata has written a poem about death called Death, and stuff. What a surprise, eh?

It's excellent imo because it makes death seem very ordinary, almost companionable, which I think is the point of his poem. I like the monkey a lot you all know and I think he's funny and cool and my friend and all, but he also is a wonderful poet so read him, so just read this poem, ok?

I put this in the roll call thread, so here it is in its rightful place. Was it a fiendish plot to recommend it twice? Nah, I'm ditzy when I'm tired.

 

[Jennifer C]

You're welcome. It would have been even better if I posted the rec in the new poems thread.

(Thanks for the heads up, fishy.)

I'm soooo tired. I need a break from long busy days. And I'm getting one--tomorrow is rest only. Finally.

Enjoy your rest Ange