To keep the review thread clean...

[flyguy69]

A reflection of his apparent shock at Eve's boobaracha's

Are those her boobs? I thought she was carrying munitions for a Navy jet!

 

[tungtied2u]

Where

is the new poems review thread? I seemed to have stumbled into a vaudeville show.

Oh,and by the way...Eviekins- I loved your poem....about space and all that ...but am still trying to figure out your exact usage of the word nasa....it's the only part I found difficult.

Thanks for a wonderful, and original read.

 

[Scott N. Leavitt]

Thankyou for liking my poem. My sister helps me wiyh the spelling and stuff!

Scott N. Leavitt

 

[annaswirls]

Thanks Miss Lauren for the mentions, it was great to see your reviews again, thanks for your work.

 

[LittleMinna]

Blushing with pleasure

Pat C, Flyguy, Tath and anyone else who looked at my poems:

Thank you all so much for just reading. I sent these out into the ether and assumed no one would look at them. Thank you for the welcome, too.

I'm mainly a fiction writer and have been quietly perusing the offerings there for months? A year? Anyway, since I found a printout of a fabulously hot Lit story stashed in my then-boyfriend's supposedly hidden stash of porn.

I can see I must do some more reading and commenting to be a good member of the poetry side of this community.

I'll get on it.

LM

 

[flyguy69]

Pat C, Flyguy, Tath and anyone else who looked at my poems:

Thank you all so much for just reading. I sent these out into the ether and assumed no one would look at them. Thank you for the welcome, too.

I'm mainly a fiction writer and have been quietly perusing the offerings there for months? A year? Anyway, since I found a printout of a fabulously hot Lit story stashed in my then-boyfriend's supposedly hidden stash of porn.

I can see I must do some more reading and commenting to be a good member of the poetry side of this community.

I'll get on it.

LM

Well thank you, LittleMinna's ex-boyfriend, for pushing her our way! Welcome, LM. The poetry boards are a place to goof off. I mean, to read and grow and learn. When you're not goofing off.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Hi, Anna,
Thaks for including my most recent poem in the reviews. As you imply, it is far different from the dirty stories or the jokes set in rhyme that I usually write.

Basically, it's a true poem too. The young woman being married is actually a stepdaughter but I have been married to her mother for the last ten years so I felt I was entitled to take some liberties.

 

[Jennifer C]

Well thank you, LittleMinna's ex-boyfriend, for pushing her our way! Welcome, LM. The poetry boards are a place to goof off. I mean, to read and grow and learn. When you're not goofing off.

Lol, yep that's about right!

Welcome Minna...

 

[Du Lac]

Thank you to all....

Just a heart felt thank you to all who comment and vote on ALL my poems. I know that I am not an easy read at times. I write in cryptic layers that many find hard to delve into. When others take the time to read and re read my work then comment I need to say a big thank you. So there it is, thank you all for helping me grow and write!
Du Lac

 

[champagne1982]

Thanks to all who have commented, thus far, on today's submission of Lust's Canvas.

I realize I can't please all of the people, all of the time but I need some explanation of what is cliche in this poem. Is it the wanton sighs over a hundred hills line? If so, yes, this is cliche, it is also fact. The man I address it to lives in the middle of the Canadian Rockies and I'm east of that in the boreal forest/prairie landscape. Indeed, there are at least a hundred hills between he and I. I hardly think that makes the piece cliche ridden.

So, with that said, could you please enlighten me, number guy? (and others if you feel inclined).

Thanks all.

 

[Tathagata]

Thanks to all who have commented, thus far, on today's submission of Lust's Canvas.

I realize I can't please all of the people, all of the time but I need some explanation of what is cliché in this poem. Is it the wanton sighs over a hundred hills line? If so, yes, this is cliché, it is also fact. The man I address it to lives in the middle of the Canadian Rockies and I'm east of that in the boreal forest/prairie landscape. Indeed, there are at least a hundred hills between he and I. I hardly think that makes the piece cliché ridden.

So, with that said, could you please enlighten me, number guy? (and others if you feel inclined).

Thanks all.

1201 sees clichés every where

i think it's some palsy he suffers from


I didn't " see" any cliches..i thought some of the wording was great
~Fingerpainting I-love-you
in the slippery guache of my lust;
a dream spending leaving
pearlescent pools on my thighs.~

nice wording

I think perhaps the..feelings? scenario? is what he meant by cliché.
A woman lying in bed dreamily touching herself and thinking of a lover.

~shrug~
It's done, people write about it, like they write about sex and pain and love
it's just that you see one or two of this particular subject here every day
maybe 12 is just tired of all these women lying around having orgasms when theres laundry to be done..


or perhaps I'm out on a limb there...

in any case I enjoyed the wording

 

[champagne1982]

1201 sees clichés every where

i think it's some palsy he suffers from<snip>
maybe 12 is just tired of all these women lying around having orgasms when theres laundry to be done..</snip>

Do you think we can find him some anti-angst pills or something? Thanks Tath. I don't lie in bed with laundry to be done, I get up and change the load over before I diddle!

 

[Jennifer C]

Do you think we can find him some anti-angst pills or something? Thanks Tath. I don't lie in bed with laundry to be done, I get up and change the load over before I diddle!

LMAO...

I really enjoyed your poem Carrie ~ I voted and left a comment...

 

[twelveoone]

Do you think we can find him some anti-angst pills or something? Thanks Tath. I don't lie in bed with laundry to be done, I get up and change the load over before I diddle!

C1982, I eased up, that was really a tired piece, as if you where doing laundry. Really, you have written some wonderful stuff, that wasn't. Should I have left no name on that finger in the hole offering?
The idea is to write fresh, you being one of the best, should set an example.
And you can compare it with anything else you've written, and come back and tell me why it is equal or better than. Really, angst my ass.

That is laziness, and you two should know better.

 

[annaswirls]

C1982, I eased up, that was really a tired piece, as if you where doing laundry. Really, you have written some wonderful stuff, that wasn't. Should I have left no name on that finger in the hole offering?
The idea is to write fresh, you being one of the best, should set an example.
And you can compare it with anything else you've written, and come back and tell me why it is equal or better than. Really, angst my ass.

That is laziness, and you two should know better.

this is part of the reason I support the anon comment, why should a reviewer be treated like this, in any way at all besides


hey thanks for reading my poem and giving a comment


Champ, I think it is cool for you to ask for specifics if you want to improve, but it came across as critiquing the critique, which should not be done.

Even in FUN why why why would anyone tease, even in a cutesy way, the commentor? It comes across as condesending and giggle behind the back.

If trying to make a person feel better about an honest review by turning it into humor, it might be best to do it in private so it does not discourage the reviewer from doing their job...."job" being volunteer, out of the best interest of the writer.

 

[champagne1982]

C1982, I eased up, that was really a tired piece, as if you where doing laundry. Really, you have written some wonderful stuff, that wasn't. Should I have left no name on that finger in the hole offering?
The idea is to write fresh, you being one of the best, should set an example.
And you can compare it with anything else you've written, and come back and tell me why it is equal or better than. Really, angst my ass.

That is laziness, and you two should know better.

I'm sorry. I was teasing.

I guess I've fallen into the space where I'm not saying anything new, but I really thought the fingerpainting line was a damned fresh way to say it.

I don't mind your comment on this piece at all. Your name signed to it simply gave me an opportunity to ask you what was cliche, you still haven't explained that very well, by the way. With what you have said though, I see that my poem's not really stuck in that abhorrent cliche ridden realm, but instead, perhaps the subject matter is in need of laundering.

 

[champagne1982]

this is part of the reason I support the anon comment, why should a reviewer be treated like this, in any way at all besides


hey thanks for reading my poem and giving a comment


Champ, I think it is cool for you to ask for specifics if you want to improve, but it came across as critiquing the critique, which should not be done.

Even in FUN why why why would anyone tease, even in a cutesy way, the commentor? It comes across as condesending and giggle behind the back.

If trying to make a person feel better about an honest review by turning it into humor, it might be best to do it in private so it does not discourage the reviewer from doing their job...."job" being volunteer, out of the best interest of the writer.

Anna,
Thank you for your views, I didn't think my earlier question, quoted here, was condescending, it was honest.

Thanks to all who have commented, thus far, on today's submission of Lust's Canvas.

I realize I can't please all of the people, all of the time but I need some explanation of what is cliche in this poem. Is it the wanton sighs over a hundred hills line? If so, yes, this is cliche, it is also fact. The man I address it to lives in the middle of the Canadian Rockies and I'm east of that in the boreal forest/prairie landscape. Indeed, there are at least a hundred hills between he and I. I hardly think that makes the piece cliche ridden.

So, with that said, could you please enlighten me, number guy? (and others if you feel inclined).

Thanks all.

I have apologized to twelveoone for teasing him, I thought he might see the humour in it. I know personalities come with different levels of tolerance, I overestimated this time.

 

[Tathagata]

this is part of the reason I support the anon comment, why should a reviewer be treated like this, in any way at all besides


hey thanks for reading my poem and giving a comment


Champ, I think it is cool for you to ask for specifics if you want to improve, but it came across as critiquing the critique, which should not be done.

Even in FUN why why why would anyone tease, even in a cutesy way, the commentor? It comes across as condesending and giggle behind the back.

If trying to make a person feel better about an honest review by turning it into humor, it might be best to do it in private so it does not discourage the reviewer from doing their job...."job" being volunteer, out of the best interest of the writer.

Oh please
if 1201 has a problem he can address me or champ
I'm sure he knows I was teasing him and as a matter of fact he has found cliché' in many of my poems
I just think it's amusing
period


and the fact that I don't agree with him or had a different opinion of is nothing I feel the need to be " private" about.
With all the other stuff that's thrown around here on a daily basis some good natured teasing shouldn't be grounds for a stern lecture.




and 12, as for laziness, I didn't think it was lazy at all.
That's always a matter of opinion
as she said sometimes you just need to write something and you try this or try that and it may not be a stunner every time...but you are writing.
that deifies laziness in my book.

again, all a matter of opinion

Sorry 12 if you felt I was ' giggling" at you but you and I have giggled at each other a few times in the past.
I don't expect this will be any different.

 

[twelveoone]

Oh please
if 1201 has a problem he can address me or champ
I'm sure he knows I was teasing him and as a matter of fact he has found cliché' in many of my poems
I just think it's amusing
period


and the fact that I don't agree with him or had a different opinion of is nothing I feel the need to be " private" about.
With all the other stuff that's thrown around here on a daily basis some good natured teasing shouldn't be grounds for a stern lecture.




and 12, as for laziness, I didn't think it was lazy at all.
That's always a matter of opinion
as she said sometimes you just need to write something and you try this or try that and it may not be a stunner every time...but you are writing.
that deifies laziness in my book.

again, all a matter of opinion

Sorry 12 if you felt I was ' giggling" at you but you and I have giggled at each other a few times in the past.
I don't expect this will be any different.

hey, hey, hey

I get lazy, I expect to blasted for it.

champ, tath, anna I am so thick, it doesn't bother me,

C - I've seen you dash off stuff that just amazes me, leaves me in awe
T - you've written things that I' wish I had written

if I can see good, I can see bad
this wasn't one of them, I always allow for the possibility I am wrong.
if I don't say, I do a diservice to people that have talent,

everyone writes losers, even anna, sometimes

I have a ton of them, should I post (even though I may have posted some already)
C
A
T - err, how bout those Sox?

 

[Angeline]

It's all matter of opinion. I don't see cliches in Champ's poem, nor do I think all poets should write the same way or be expected to use the same devices or measure up to the "standard" of someone else's preference in poetry or poet.

And those of us who have been around for a while and have a rep for having some talent at this poetry thing would do well to remember that chastising others while holding up our own critiques as the "valid way" are not doing anyone any favors.

Editing 101--a little kindness goes a long way.

 

[champagne1982]

You're all wonderful and I admire each one's outspoken honesty. This is why I support commenting over rating averages any day. Without constructive criticism, I wouldn't have understood the way my poetry tends to overuse some images, but hey, I write what I know.

I know masturbation ...

 

[Tathagata]

I have a ton of them, should I post (even though I may have posted some already)
C
A
T - err, how bout those Sox?

no rose for me??
homophobic


you should post them
that's really my point
we should post everything
good or bad
hell i go back and read the stuff I wrote when I first came here and think
" jesus this sucks"
but it's on record and I can chart the progress
I can also go back and fuck with it and try again.
I never expect anyones stuff to always be amazing..I look at is as how they are developing, styles change, etc etc
and sometimes, as champ said, you get stuck..that's ok too.
Perfect example is Eve's " southern" stuff
Some people didn't like it because it wasn't " Eve"..i think it's some of the best stuff she's ever done
therein lies the rub
or
something


yeah, sox, we're still ahead of the yankees for the time being so I'll gloat

and thanks 12, always, for your comments and opinion even if we disagree

 

[Jennifer C]

Thank you

Thank you Art for that wonderful review ~ I am still learning and hanging around the forums has been a massive lesson for me.

Thank you to all who read, voted and commented on my new poem ~ it's greatly appreciated.

I still have alot to learn but i'm having so much fun doing it!

Thanks again Art ~
my very kind friend...

 

[Du Lac]

thank you Art for the wonderful note on my new poem and the direction for others on the Shoshone influence of ancient ways lol...
blessings
du~

 

[champagne1982]

MET, Thankyou for reading and reviewing each week and this week, thanks for the mention. I'm happy to be in today's company.

Taste in poetry, like taste in music or food, is a personal thing. I see nothing wrong with expressing the personal.