To keep the review thread clean...

[Guest]

Re: Bleak House

It was a bleak house.
I carried the keys,
kept a basket of small tasks,
occupying days, carrying years
through a fog of groceries,
checkbooks, dry cleaning.

It was a bleak house.
I chose the new washer,
folded sheets, fit myself
to their corners, held myself
through winters,
breathing my own warmth,
shaking off storms.

How could I explain that autumn
that brief fading beauty hurt so,
too colorful to watch all that
turning to dust, leaves falling,
crumbling like me.

How could I explain that spring
seared me with the tenderness
of its possibility, the way it ripens
into summer, lush, beyond my grasp,
too green for the barren twigs
of my fingers.

Somehow I bloom again.
Somehow I bloom
from small seeds lain dormant
in emptiness then suddenly
blown free, lifted perhaps
by some careless bird,
and dropped to this fertile soil
bearing words like new shoots,
believing in something again.

Perfection - Post it where it belongs.

 

[minsue]

Paging fawnie!

You're PM box is full.

 

[minsue]

I've got a few things I must do tomorrow, but I'll try do at least some of them for you.

I'll be working late again, but if there are any left after you and the swirly-girl get done feel free to PM me & I'll give it a whirl.

And why don't we have cool ritualistic cock raisings around here?!?!? I'm so jealous.

 

[fawnie]

Re: Paging fawnie!

You're PM box is full.

it's been cleaned out min

 

[JCSTREET]

It wouldbe handy if

it's been cleaned out min

we had some means of knowing how much space we actually have - right now it's a dark continent - I don't think anyone has a clue how much they can successfully have in their boxes before the ax comes down

 

[BooMerengue]

actually there is a way... but I've forgotten where I saw it. It holds a finite number of kb's. Its about a dozen avg messages. (whatever that is... lol)

 

[Tathagata]

Anam Cara

First let me thank everyone who read and voted and commented.
I am a bit taken aback by the comments and especially JC's kind review.
When I look at the poem I see where it failed to be what I wanted.
But I'm glad some of it came across.

It was the first poem I really labored over..
and, again, without Tara's kind but firm suggestions it would have been a far lesser work.

This place has helped me so much in so many ways.
I came here just to have some place to post online
I've gotten an education, encouragement, support and acceptance.
The talent here blows me away.

Thank you all
And thank you JC ,my friend, for you kind and gentlemanly words and for taking a young pseudo irish upstart seriously


namaste' to all

Tathagata

 

[Angeline]

Ah, you do honor to your Lit name, angelic one.

Don't be makin me blush now you Liar you.

Ok. I have coffee and Van Morrison is rockin out some blues. I'll stop this half-alsleep swaying and go review poemies. Swirly love and mini sweet, if I ain't back with em in about an hour I'll come a callin.

 

[Angeline]

Ah but first I must thank Carlie for his excellent critiques and all of you who wrote such beautiful comments on my poem Nothing, which was real and yes, of course I felt and do but not that day. It was easier to be a rock that day. One of my best friends died--in an entirely separate incident--that same day. It was the worst week of my life, but as you see--I survived. You are all kind, lovely people.

And yes, I'm so so Needy. And venal. Of course I want that country house. Who wouldn't? Thanks for the good words, poets.


Ange

 

[tungtied2u]

Thanks to JCStreet for his nod on my Nearing Departure.

I'd also like to express thanks to all those reading and commenting on my efforts. Seems the more I write the more critical I get of myself, so the help from all you kind and generous ones is greatly appreciated (and warranted).

 

[Lauren Hynde]

People. Your PM box will hold 100 messages of whatever size.

To know how many messages you're holding, go to the first page of the boards (here), scroll down to where it says Private Messages.

Mine says:

Lauren Hynde - You have 0 new message(s) since your last visit.
(You have 0 unread messages and 97 total messages in all your folders.)

It means I'm almost at full capacity and need to go clean it up some.

 

[tarablackwood22]

Thanks to Ang

originally posted by Angeline

_________________________________________

tara blackwood is, as anyone who reads her poems here knows, a poetry powerhouse. And yes she does it again in leaning on cars and fences , a poem that merges the desire to return to childhood with the knowing recognition of grownup fear of strangers. Ah, but Tara finds a way to go back, have her moment in lost time, and return--pensive--to the other side. This is a wonderful piece full of evocative images and sense delights that will take you there and back.

icicles,
hanging winter fruit
waiting for children
to pick and lick.

boy on a swing
plays pretend
with its empty neighbor,
pulling the chain,
talking of pain.

I missed you.
where have you been
for so long?

I need
to sit next to him
as a child —

swinging,
feet dangling,
answer his longing,
be its untangling.

but I’m grown.

__________________________________________

Thank you, you wonderful New Jersey sweetheart!

 

[Angeline]

Re: Thanks to Ang

originally posted by Angeline

..........

Thank you, you wonderful New Jersey sweetheart!

You are most welcome homie--the poem rocks.

 

[BooMerengue]

hmmm... Is this a little contest? An "I can do this better than you!" kinda moment? keep on if it is... or keep on anyway!

you freaked me out, Ange... On the 1st read I understood you had moved your father... lol I told ya I'm dim! LOL

EE... that was nice- why don't you do it more often? Often I hear the Beat Poets in your words. Are you shy? pshaw! Dumb question, Tia B! He's w/ Ange... he has to have nerves of steel! lol

 

[JCSTREET]

FANTASIC LAuren

People. Your PM box will hold 100 messages of whatever size.

To know how many messages you're holding, go to the first page of the boards (here), scroll down to where it says Private Messages.

Mine says:

Lauren Hynde - You have 0 new message(s) since your last visit.
(You have 0 unread messages and 97 total messages in all your folders.)

It means I'm almost at full capacity and need to go clean it up some.

thanks for that--very very helpful

you are So neat.

CarlieBear unbare

 

[BooMerengue]

well I knew you could do that, but mine was full once merely cuz of the size of my folders. I had no messages current. Now I know better.

 

[Liar]

Great job Angeline. Thanks for stepping in.

 

[Angeline]

Great job Angeline. Thanks for stepping in.

My pleasure. Giving is a good thing.

 

[fawnie]

People. Your PM box will hold 100 messages of whatever size.

To know how many messages you're holding, go to the first page of the boards (here), scroll down to where it says Private Messages.

Mine says:

Lauren Hynde - You have 0 new message(s) since your last visit.
(You have 0 unread messages and 97 total messages in all your folders.)

It means I'm almost at full capacity and need to go clean it up some.

thanks for the tip lauren!

 

[tarablackwood22]

Day of Separation

EDITED OFF -- wrong thread!! -- I keep putting almost completed work here out of habit!!

Sorry.


escape from misery -new poem.

 

[Mia Moore]

I know I have been really slack and I am sorry. I want to thank Perks for taking the time to look over my work and make comments which I know will make the poem so much better.

Also, thanks to everyone who read and commented on Deeper than the truth and Arthurtown. (YDD, I am working on Arthurtown rewrite now
thanks to you and syndra for pointing out the multiple uses of that one word ( sighs ) I cant believe I didnt see that, oh well.
I am trying to get caught up on the reading, I have seen some of the wonderful poems posted last week, but only a few the past couple of days..when its pretty, you all know where to find the gardener, dont ya



kisses to all and thanks again
M

 

[lostandfounder]

Thanks!

questions in the dark
simply interesting and rife with imagery and longing, and the low soft laughter of all of us who've been there. The miles davis part gives this poem a smooth slow sexy feeling that wouldn't have been there without that particular reference, I think.

Thanks a bunch for the mention perks! I was hesitant to use the Davis line, but I'm glad others got the reference and the feel that I was going for! Thanks again!
Aw, what the hell..a kiss too

 

[Angeline]

Thanks Perks Sugah for your review of Checkered Twilight, and thank you to all who commented or sent feedback. I got lots of great feedback on this poem, which just goes to show what I hear on this forum all the time--the poems you think are throwaways get the best response.

I was writing that poem in the same room as ee and his kiddo were playing checkers. It was getting dark and I was combining their conversation with my own musing. Just a simple little thing, lol.


Ange

 

[Tathagata]

Re: mouthfire

I glaze my lips for you,
candent crimson
thick as spackle.

naked, you watch
me set them on fire,
eyes locked
as I light my red bait.

twitch
from my mouth corners
as the flame
draws its first boil.

you stir and swell, the slow rise
of need,
and I thicken with honey
and another scarlet spread.

I place
the lipstick down,
watching your blood bloom.

full now, veins
pulsing,
attentive salute.

I lick, wet
my mouth’s raging wildfire,
silent invitation to movement.

and you slow walk,
aimed at proper height.

the first touch,
flesh twins,
heavy on hungry lips.

the slow swallow,
the magic of disappearance
and moan
and the glistening
of retreat,
the red smear
of my love on yours.

that stain,
the evils of want
and unconcern,
the need the requires
action.

hands to your hips,
the wrapping
that drives you deep,
brings you home.

in mouth
and out,
the repetition,
the hard heaven
of forbidden fruit.

and my thoughts
as I work you,
the loose and wild
cries of a rich whore,
slut for the working man,
mouth filled dirty and good
by the streets,
my hand in, playing
that second worker
from the sweat docks...…

use me
make me crazy and gone
with stiff love
break me down so I don't care
of coins or comfort --
discomfort is what I need
hard and hurting
do me
do all of me
every hole
body and soul
rain white in me
on me……

change me face.

I think I'm in love

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: mouthfire

I think I'm in love

Well ~ I'm not in love but I do think this should be submitted.




(Hi Tath )