To keep the review thread clean...

[Angeline]

You mean you're not always this mellow?

You should have seen me around 5 pm lol. I was near comatose from my first week in two years back at 9 to 5.

I was Lazarus.

 

[perks]

tung is that Rodin?

 

[tungtied2u]

tung is that Rodin?

I don't know, nabbed it off a satyr site. Didn't say. Pretty sexy though, isn't it?

 

[perks]

I don't know, nabbed it off a satyr site. Didn't say. Pretty sexy though, isn't it?

I'll say.

 

[tungtied2u]

I'll say.

I'll do a little diggin and see what I can find out. Let you know. FYI

 

[annaswirls]

dangit anna banana, ya shamed me into it. I will take mondays reviews if not grabbed already, okay? BUT, if someone submits a form poem, remember, I am a formless dummy and I probaly will say, I know its a form, but I dont know exactly what form, okay?


Lauren, thanks for the mention

and ee, yours was my favorite of the day too I put it on my list, it made me feel like I could fly and thats a wonderful feeling

there were so many good ones posted I am still reading them, and Lauren is so right about mentioning poems, if you have one you liked, you CAN mention it yourself, that would be cool with everyone here I am sure, and if its not, they can just go suck it!!! I was all prepared to do that if LH had skipped when the trees are full...

so poets, be wary, I might not be so great to sart, but you do have permission to spank when necessary, and even when not...its a good incentive you know

Maria, you will be awesome! You always have such great comments, let me know and I can give you some short cut advice on doing the reviews-- formatting and the like. I am pretentious I am sure you could short cut me all the way and back again

And about the forms just pretend you don't notice that it is one and it will magically go away....well that is what I hope.

I just reviewed Anges as a poem and did not try to figure out the form.


~anna

 

[annaswirls]

there were so many good ones posted I am still reading them, and Lauren is so right about mentioning poems, if you have one you liked, you CAN mention it yourself, that would be cool with everyone here I am sure, and if its not, they can just go suck it!!! I was all prepared to do that if LH had skipped when the trees are full...

oh I remember someone had this idea for reviewers to do their own poems or at least a little story of inspiration etc.

~anna

 

[annaswirls]

decided to make this a new thread

I want to come up with an anorexic sonnet

A
B
A
B

A
A

with only two syllables per line.....


(no I am not diminishing the seriousness of eating disorders)

 

[lostandfounder]

decided to make this a new thread

I want to come up with an anorexic sonnet

A
B
A
B

A
A

with only two syllables per line.....


(no I am not diminishing the seriousness of eating disorders)

Strawberry
Wine flows
To bury
My toes

Sing merry
To cherrie


(no I am not diminishing the seriousness of substance abuse) I'm just awake and antsy

 

[Liar]

decided to make this a new thread

I want to come up with an anorexic sonnet

A
B
A
B

A
A

with only two syllables per line.....


(no I am not diminishing the seriousness of eating disorders)

goodbye
balloon
untie
and soon

fly high
in sky



right?

 

[Tathagata]

decided to make this a new thread

I want to come up with an anorexic sonnet

A
B
A
B

A
A

with only two syllables per line.....


(no I am not diminishing the seriousness of eating disorders)

THAT is a twisted, brilliant idea

 

[The Mutt]

THAT is a twisted, brilliant idea

Songstress
last night
Sheer dress
Hot light

Touchless
Caress

 

[A Desert Rose]

Thank you

fawnie, perks, lostandfounder and Tathagata for the comments you left.

You are all very kind.


And yes, perks, I see your points. They are well founded, too. Thanks for your suggestions.

 

[Reltne]

Purple Prose...err, Poetry

WHAT? No plum(b) Bob????


Shame on you awl !!!

 

[SeattleRain]

goodbye
balloon
untie
and soon

fly high
in sky



right?

oh my god I can't believe you gguys actuallly did them! Just goes to show there is no challenge difficult enough or preposterous enough that the lit poets wont bite

hmm I guess this means I gotta do one

I am such a coward

 

[Lauren Hynde]

You all got to enter the Hyperchallenge.

 

[tungtied2u]

Re:Reviews

Thanks Ange for the mention of Ancient Echoes in your review.


And congrats again to both you and Boo for your shootout-

you're right, we all win when we get to be part of something like that.
Thanks to you guys and the judges- really insightful and thorough feedback. I learned a lot. Yay!

 

[Guest]

Lavender Spike is a great quirky slice of life a la Tristesse. I see Lavender Spike as a punker being stared at by tourists. I’m not sure that’s what you meant, Tess, but it worked for me. Great dialogue, too--that one line personifies the poem

Yes! That's what I meant, Ange sweetie. I miss those brave souls in their bovver boots. Thank you for the mention.

 

[Guest]

Thanks

Angeline and Seattle for mentioning my poems today. I greatly appreciate it as well as to those who took the time to read, comment and vote: perks, Eumenides, maria, Tathagata, lipsticksunset1984, and moonbladem.

A side note. I'm going to take a break for awhile from the whole submitting my work to Literotica thing, but I will do my Sunday reviews as I still at least enjoy reading good Lit poetry.


- neo

 

[Guest]

Lavender Spikeby Tristesse ©
Oh I laughed at this one! Tess brings us to where most of us have been at one time or another-- either a tourist (presumed or real) or one who scowls at them. I met my best friend who was harassing tourists (in my home town) and made the mistake of harassing me....

Thanks, Seattle, for the mention. I'm glad I touched your funny bone. It was a great challenge that produced some memorable works.

 

[BooMerengue]

Purple Pearl
by BooMerengue ©

Wow I do not rightly know if this is a form or not but it knocked me out with the line repeating in the next stanza. Flowed so perfectly from on to the other-- woven together to tell this story, kick ass Boo-
sorry to insult anyones intelligence, but I have to point out the cool repeating thang she got goin' I bolded the lines, she didn't!


quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Purple Pearl stepped out one day
with purpose in her stride;
she headed straight down Procter Street
the day her marriage died.

She headed straight down Procter Street
to Lawson's County Jail.
"I want to see my man." she said
"I've come to pay his bail."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Thanks all of you for your comments on this. I had fun writing it! Synny? This is the 'Bob' form that we used in an STC; it drove me crazy then- it flowed out of me easily this time! It IS a weird form, but it tends to make a story longer in the telling!

 

[tungtied2u]

Re: Thanks

Angeline and Seattle for mentioning my poems today. I greatly appreciate it as well as to those who took the time to read, comment and vote: perks, Eumenides, maria, Tathagata, lipsticksunset1984, and moonbladem.

A side note. I'm going to take a break for awhile from the whole submitting my work to Literotica thing, but I will do my Sunday reviews as I still at least enjoy reading good Lit poetry.


- neo

Neo's needs
need be met
He won't submit
but still will vet

Recharge your heart
and head dear Poet
You'll be missed
Want you to know it.



Enjoy your respite. Thanks for the mention in your review.

 

[tungtied2u]

Re: stopping short of completion

almost afraid to breathe, almost
afraid, all day a catch in my stomach
each breath stopping short of completion

midnight passed but not yet morning
ruin the darkness with sixty watts
and still that catch that just won’t stop

thankful for ability to justify
this blatant disregard for twilight with words
that might one day be soothing
to someone whose heartache is greater than mine

in less than an hour two inches of rain
a world now drenched and westerly wind
pushing stray clouds towards the shore,

rain is barely a whisper coaxed
thin mint half-clouds and stellar mist,
I think I can feel the universe breathe

in unison with silence and solemn, a void
diligently watches my face ,
afraid to breathe afraid to let go
and still each breath, stopping short
of completi

Wow Maria. I find myself short of breath. Nice stuff.

 

[Maria2394]

Re: Re: stopping short of completion

Wow Maria. I find myself short of breath. Nice stuff.

short of breath!!! hehe, thats cute


thank you

 

[Mr_Mescalito]

Thank You

For mentioning my poem.
I've lurked here a while and thought I'd give it a go.
Thanks to all who read and voted also.

MM