To keep the review thread clean...

[Eleanora Day]

amante viii
soon

 

[Tathagata]

I have nothing
to offer
to fix what's wrong
no wisdom to soothe
such a quiet ache
a raw pain
that eats at you,
except to say that
you were heard
today and that
in the quiet
of the night
a stranger's tears
fell for you.

 

[minsue]

it brought me numb
to realise...
that beside our streams
other rivers flow

when we reconstitute
reality...
night after night
we just might not know

whose night rewrites
a picture of us
to mould into
another's universe

passer byers utter
under breath
to spellcast flutter
weave a voodoo curse

to snare and seduce
and weave a web
to wait and pray...
for that burning light

it struck me blind
to realise...
someone loved me
just out of sight

How is it that you just keep getting better and better? Is there something in the water over there?!?

 

[Tathagata]

sorry wrong forum

 

[Tathagata]

Tath's Madpoet you were just writing and writing and writing... Did you edit this? I'm interested in your process with this one. Whether it was poetic stream of consciousness, or you actually edited, redited and so on. I think everyone should write a bar poem or three. I enjoy your perspective. As a poem, I'm not sold completely. I like some of your imagery, it just feels a bit disjointed in thought to me, and not smooth and ethereal as a ghost walk should.

Thanks for the mention.

If you check the " construction" thread you'll see it went through at least 4 public edits as well as at least 3 private ones.

 

[perks]

Thanks for the mention.

If you check the " construction" thread you'll see it went through at least 4 public edits as well as at least 3 private ones.

cool, I'll go check em out, sugahbaby. Thanks.

 

[perks]

Thanks for the mention.

If you check the " construction" thread you'll see it went through at least 4 public edits as well as at least 3 private ones.

btw, that last line that you quoted from me was from someone else's critique.

 

[Tathagata]

btw, that last line that you quoted from me was from someone else's critique.

fixed

 

[irishcatsmeow]

Thanks perks...

Thanks perks for you insight. A few subtle changes do make all the difference to my poem, Ripening. It wasn't supposed to be double spaced and wasn't when i submitted it; not sure what happened there. I appreciate your comments and am amazed at how much thought you devote to the poetry board...kudos to you!

 

[Angeline]

Re: Sunday 18, 2004 Reviews

Long week here in the Emerald City with Sea Fair about to begin and the Bite of Seattle at the Space Needle (which is a local resturaunt smorgasbord you can get fat and nasty over.) I also see that it has been just as long on poetry here on Literotica.

Anna will be here after awhile to do her reviews, but my Sunday mentions are ready to go... earlier than usual


55-ish or so Sunday poems hit the new poems list. Quite a few good poems today and here are the ones I read, voted, and enjoyed the most (on the top half the page of course):

~ ~ ~

Victorian Amethyst by Tristesse ©

Just a trailer of this wonderful short piece that reminds me of a scene from Cameron's Titanic
~ ~ ~

NeoPetal 5 by WickedEve is of course 5th in the NeoPetal series to which I find to be very interesting as the work is so very different from what I usually read on the board. NeoPetal 5 is a surreal erotic addition to this superb series.

~ ~ ~

Out of the two poems I read today by miss Angeline, Working Girl and Nailed, the latter I found to be particularly witty because I've heard my mother mentioning the same with her thick southern accent and that there is reason enough for a fight or be fed to the gators.
~ ~ ~

At a Loss for Words tungtied2u is a excellent write that is haunting, if not chilling reminder.

~ ~ ~

New to me, poet, DeepAsleep had several poems that I thought were excellent, but Rocks, Splash of Water was such a great visual and tactile image it caught my eye as it mentioned good drink and felt real to me
~ ~ ~

The Letter by hippiedude is a well balanced poem with some smooth rhyme and alliteration on reflection and regret.

~ ~ ~

RazzRajen's Loss, is it? is an interesting piece that I thought had strong visual images the poem works one's mental adaptability as do all his poems in my opinion.

~ ~ ~

Another new to me poet, jd4george, also subimitted a few excellent offerings today. The Salad Bar Gunslinger is an entertaining poem with a great title as were all jdgeorge's poems.

~ ~ ~

One of my favorite poets, Liar presented Precious Cargo is a thought provoking read with a tone of a hope.

~ ~ ~

Not Alone lostandfounder was a favorite read for Sunday. Great description on the 'metaphor' got to keep idle hands playing with mischief and learn to lock doors.
~ ~ ~


That's it folks as I see perks reviewed a portion of Sunday and what she missed, annaswirls will surely catch.


Take it easy poets, read, comment, and vote from the New List. Take the time to do a Spinner for older poems because there are some great poems from the past as well.



- neo

Honey if I'da had a gator handy after that woman attacked my hair I woulda set it on her, lol. Thanks.

 

[steve porter]

the laughing dead

wow...thanks perks for not being TOO busy to remember a few more poems...for the curious, it's a reflection on visiting my mother at the alzheimers clinic. steve

 

[lostandfounder]

orignially posted by neonurotic on the new review thread

Not Alone lostandfounder was a favorite read for Sunday. Great description on the 'metaphor' got to keep idle hands playing with mischief and learn to lock doors.

Thanks so much for the mention! Lots of great poems out there, some even better than mine.

Seriously though, everyone! Go! Read! Vote! Comment

 

[tarablackwood22]

______________________________________
originally posted by perks


tarablackwood's loitering for dawn

"as I stare off
at Ireland, smoking
Marlboros to the filter, the night
has pity and undresses
his diamonds, jewels
of fine karat and quality
to consider for play or purchase,"

that is one of the best astronomical images I've ever read.


" I walk the streets with cats" - I love when a simple clear line says so much more, in context and relativity.

THe only thing I would say about this poem is that the brilliant parts outshine all the fodder in between. I wish this was more compact without as many highs and lows, just intense. I feel like you're telling instead of the experience just "being", when here and there the poem is what it is<that's good by the way>.

Some really incredible imagery here.

_____________________________________

Perks...thanks for the mention and critique.

 

[Guest]

Victorian Amethyst by Tristesse ©

Just a trailer of this wonderful short piece that reminds me of a scene from Cameron's Titanic

I'm confused as to where to post thanks so I hope this is it.


neo, thank you for mentioning my poem and a "thank you" to all who left such kind comments.

 

[DeepAsleep]

Thanks for the mention and kind words!

~D.A.

 

[tungtied2u]

New Poetry Review

Thanks neo for the mention in your review, and thanks to all those who read and commented. It's greatly appreciated.

 

[perks]

to the first like twenty poems that I haven't done yet, I'll probably do them tomorrow. I just got beat up by that hyperchallenge, but it's submitted, thank fucking god.

 

[Guest]

to the first like twenty poems that I haven't done yet, I'll probably do them tomorrow. I just got beat up by that hyperchallenge, but it's submitted, thank fucking god.

Cripes! I thought it was tomorrow for submitting to appear on the 20th!

 

[perks]

Cripes! I thought it was tomorrow for submitting to appear on the 20th!

are you kidding me? I have to go fucking check now. Tell me I was just sweatin' for nothing. I will kill myself.

 

[perks]

goddamn motherfucking fucker poem. *kicks it*

 

[Lauren Hynde]

It's OK, Perks. At least now you can spend the day tomorrow practising for the shoot-out.

I'm still looking forward to read all the hypersonnets.

 

[perks]

It's OK, Perks. At least now you can spend the day tomorrow practising for the shoot-out.

I'm still looking forward to read all the hypersonnets.

omg I have to practice? I don't even know how to do that... how do you practice for that?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Hmm-

Actually, I haven't thought of anything for it, yet, so this would be a good time to try to bribe me.

 

[perks]

Hmm-

Actually, I haven't thought of anything for it, yet, so this would be a good time to try to bribe me.

I'll submit to another hypersonnet tomorrow?

 

[annaswirls]

thanks for the patience

on the way home from a rainy weekend at the parents house:
Accidents on 95, two whacky kids in the back seat, got home much later than imagined and with a raging headache.

I will review tomorrow am 9:30 sharp unless I wake up in the middle of the night, in which case, I will dream my way through the reviews, they may not get through literotica filters. Wouldn't that be a first

Looking forward to reading--

~anna

I think that Perks and Neo got them all, I might be wrong, but it seems they met in the middle (pshew!)