WickedEve said:I suppose I'm still Thursday Reviewer. I read most of the poems. I'm still reading. There's some excellent writing in the new poems list.
Here are some that have caught my eye and refused to let it go:
~~~~~
Amante IX
We need only to watch the sky,
to breathe against the madre flesh of night,
and know that morning whispers by and by
Nine Amante poems and the level of excellence continues.
~~~~~
I'll stop here and continue reading and reviewing.
Thanks, Eve. 
WickedEve said:
Liar said:
perks said:
but actually I was trying all kinds of variants of "Claimed Waters", fishing, raking, etc. I finally decided to go with clearest, and I typed the title instead of cut and pasting. However, I just checked and my copy of WORD likes one "M" and flags the double, although Google agrees with you. (For anyone who doesn't know, "claimed waters" are those areas of the bay, those clam beds, which are registered to specific users. The state grants the right for only one person/family to harvest clams there. Kind of like a gold prospector's claim, and maybe more valuable, the area is off limits to everyone else for clam(m)ing.)
), but the poem is also an exercise in word use, and that change would also require a new title. Perhaps after it has sat awhile I may come more toward your viewpoint.
Reltne said:OOPS!
Uh, . . . I could say I was chumming for a YDD comment,
I understand your criticism, perks, and accept it (although this was supposed to be posted on an unperky day
Thankyou for the mention and for finding some things you liked.
Reltne
heh, 
perks said:I thought it was a good poem. I even enjoyed some of the imagery in the beginning, although I was a bit confused here
A stone lies facedown
man, woman, two kids in a face
down
the waves
how am I to read that?
a stone lies facedown <pause>
man,<pause> woman<pause> two kids in a face <pause>
down <pause>
the waves<pause>
a stone lies facedown, pretty straightforward, no question there. But then, the family.. man, woman, two kids...okaaaaay, then it gets weird for me "in a face down the waves" that doesn't make sense to me, so say "man, woman, two kids in a face" which sort of reads like I don't know, maybe a person's face shows their family's history? <I'm reaching. but then I have "down the waves" and I really don't have any idea what down the waves means.
Could you maybe walk me through that part?
Also, it's pretty clear, and then you say "we will be seemed" I don't get that... If it were "seamed" like a clam, that would make more sense, but I don't know if that's what you mean or not.
That's why I got rid of that first part, it's all about clarity.
And you love perky day, admit it.
On a personal note I have no hatemail yet *bonus*
Reltne said:A stone lies facedown
(Ask first, how can a stone be face down.)
(Consider)
man, woman, two kids in a face
down
(Consider)down
(breaking and undertow)
the waves turn in the dark
(Do consider family history - linage)
and you will be seen
you and me
we will be seemed (Consider "seamed" in the following stanza.)
us
as clams
in water claimed
to be steamed in one stolen swollen hour.
Our Summer's sweet succor gives solace
branches enfold a seamed flowering diversion
from the warnings of my tongue
a lonely solo reinforced with rock coast mist.
(Consider clambakes, claimed water, and other things)
An aside:
perks, If it was only worth a "3" to you, why did you bother mentioning it? What rating do you give to poems that you don't mention? - I ask because the "3" vote came immediately with your comment. There have been no other votes or comments since then, so I can only assume that the vote was yours.
Reltne
PS: A Question: Does anyone else's Word software accept "claming" and not "clamming"?
