To keep the review thread clean...

[Cerriwiden]

Re: Re: Re: wed 12/15

ditto.

I saw Morning Walk early today and was amazed at its ability to use such fantastical imagery but still communicate so clearly. It's beautiful and sophisticated.

 

[annaswirls]

Okay they are done, I wanted to keep them in one post---

I got to all the poems, but not all the links, and I gotta gooooo!!!


~J

 

[Deadly Joker]

Mom's Phat Ass -
Submitted by Deadly Joker (Erotic Poetry) 12/15/04

Apparently, some boys want to do naughty things with their mothers. This poem celebrates this taboo, you might feel guilty if this turns you on, but it is just a poem damn it, does not have to be instructions or biographical. My kid still wants to marry me, hope he doesn't ever want to well, you know.
[/B]

Hello there Thanks for reviewing my poem...of questionable merit as it is

DJ

 

[Angeline]

Re: Friday's Reviews

I have a message from Santa....

Screw the milk and cookies!!


On with the reviews.


As always I vote on the poem before I comment so the 50% reflected in that statement is NOT the vote and NOT counted towards your score....for those of you who care about that shit.


Hey Mister Santa - bearlee

This had an "H" within about 20 seconds
I suspect the " illustrations" had something to do with it.
But tis the season and a christmas poem deserves a look.


Hear My Name - Lauren Hynde

This is and intreresting piece, although slightly maddening to not be able to see it all at once..it has some great lines


The genius of it is that you have to wait for it to come around again and again, and thus you are forced into her tempo. and her choice of how long you study each word.
This could be a very powerful way to present a poem
And a more unexpected/ less cliche ending word may have worked a bit better.
Certainly worth a look or 6


Blue- Green blues - Lauren Hynde

Now this I like.
An illustraded poem that loks like an album cover and the words match up perfectly.
Jazz and Miles and wet sidewalks and...

That describes it perfectly
nice work

Alveolus - jthserra

I don't know a triolette from a sonnet from a haiku...but this pure piece works very well with the repeated lines at certain points.
It tells a story through a series of images that all have an emotion tied into them.
It's starling how much information is contained in the seemigly simple verses.
A Must read
and a brilliant piece of writing.

On behalf of my Jewish brethren and sistren (?), thank you.

 

[Tathagata]

Re: Re: Friday's Reviews

On behalf of my Jewish brethren and sistren (?), thank you.

isn't that a thing that holds water??
Don't Distract me.........

 

[Angeline]

Re: Re: Friday's Reviews

On behalf of my Jewish brethren and sistren (?), thank you.

oh. that wasn't you. well...never mind then

 

[Angeline]

Re: Re: Re: Friday's Reviews

isn't that a thing that holds water??
Don't Distract me.........

I doubt that anything I could do could make it anything but better.

And Lauren's poem, Hear My Voice, is brilliant. You'd better say or now or she'll slap you.

Although maybe that's why you didn't.

 

[Honey123]

Re: Thursday Dec 16

Howdy poets. Here are the ones I dug.

...

a Paris Rose un
a Paris Rose deux
a Paris Rose trois by My Erotic Tale ©
Lovely little rose colored snippets from the capital of romance. Should be read together.

...

Casualty by Willow Rain ©
On the border between vignette prose and poetry, a chilling tale. Willow Rain suceeds very well in relaying the strong emotions of the moment to us.
[color=228822]I ask twice how she is doing.
They tell me she is in recovery and they will check,
chipper, bright eyed, cheery nurses that never give me answers.
I want to stab one with the dangling chained pen.
I want someone else to be a casualty.[/color]

...

the River by His_pet ©
For some very lush writing, check out this lengthy piece. It's stacked full with warm and well rounded metaphors and breathes of mystery and magic.
[color=228822]waking with the sunrise... just the trickle of rays cresting the horizon as her cobalt orbs open, body pushing up from the lush grasses, arms raising high to almost touch the clouds so close, taking in the surrounding of her resting spot, the first opportunity she has had to see it fully, having arrived under the cover of darkness last night, lingering slowly as the full beauty of this momentous spot is revealed to tender gaze...[/color]

...


Birthing hope by tungtied2u ©
Tung gives us some very sage advice in a poem that is just a such a delight to consider as it is to just read out loud.
[color=228822]Tread softly midst the possible
Lest you crack the moment’s shell
Spill out the effervescence
Loose the liquid of the almost attainable[/color]

...

Stereogram Seduction by WickedEve ©
Some very good lines in this serenely sexy poem. Eve is one of the few people I know that can make intense erotic poetry out of almost any situation.
[color=228822]Orange-spice fusion exhilarates,
though teacup is sigh, trembled
near breathless fall.[/color]

...

And Forty-Nine? by jthserra ©
As always from Jim, a very good poem. I daresay that this was even very good for him, which says alot. Te subject is years...and inertia. And he tackles the subject skillfully.
[color=228822]It’s place I’ve been
grown comfortable in --
a little more each day
as cracks in driveways
and leaks under the sink
become a part of everyday.[/color]

...


More good ones:

Diner Divulgance by catastrophe ©
An eavesdropper's observations over a cuppa java. Intelligent, insightful and a great little read.

...

arienette by she_is_my_addiction ©
I can't say exactly what this poem is about, I'm guessing a surgery, but the mood of thpoem from a bystanders perspective comes through very well.

...

An Altercation! by Uncle Pervey ©
Short and funny. Go read and have a giggle.

...


a fan by Willow Rain ©
Short, smart and sexy.

...

Time to Heal by Honey123 ©
Short, simple and heartfelt.

...


#L

Thank you for mentioning me in the New Poems Review! It is always an honor to be mentioned in this thread! Thank you so much

 

[Du Lac]

Thank you

Art
Thank you for mentioning my poem on the new poems list. It is still rough hence one of the reasons I put it there my priestess series all need work and I value all comments on these poems for they are dear to my heart. Your rose series is outstanding. Thank you for being here and sharing. Looking for more reads.....
Happy and safe please be!!
Du Lac

 

[esclave_PP]

Thank you very much for reviewing my poem! I am glad you enjoyed it! All of my poems come from real experiences which make the imagery that much more fun to write about.

 

[Tathagata]

Thank you, Maria
for your very kind words about my poem
I'll send some crows down to wish you a merry christmas soon

 

[annaswirls]

Re: Re: Tuesday

Now that it's much quieter, and I've given the poem the time it deserves, I see that it really is a fantastic poem--with my comments only. It would be nice to have a few comments from others. And I see that Liar's poem doesn't have many comments either.

Yes, go comment on Liar's poem. It is very good!


and Eve you really are so kind to my eel skin thing -- but it is hard to comment on a poem when all you want to say is

uh why the hell does this have an E
without sounding too much like a jerk.




like the Emperors new clothes

no one wants to say
um, I think anna is naked.



I am not sure what makes an E. It is indeed a myster-eee.

but thank you so much for your comments, Eve, they are all I neeed. And for mentioning sucking down the grid, how do those inflatable things stay up all night anyway?

 

[annaswirls]

Ishtat

I wrote this for Ishtat in Australia who asked for help with my eel skin poem. So here is my best explanation and apologies put here in case someone else wondered or if he/she did not go back and read comments.

I wrote this poem to a man who told me how he bound his books of poetry in eel skin, snake skin, croc skin, and I had this image of a man, covering his poetry (i.e. himself) in the thickest skin he could find, and a woman with skin so thin that you can read her poetry (herself) right through it. How they come together - a kiss is as good as a bite-- depending upon the thickness, etc. What makes each of them accessible to each other.

I don't know if that helps or not.

I wrote it rather quickly last ninght before I posted it, and I should have been more careful. I sincerely apologize for the spelling error, I was careless, and that is never very respectful to readers.

 

[Maria2394]

Thank you, Maria
for your very kind words about my poem
I'll send some crows down to wish you a merry christmas soon

careful dont startle the starling,
you may rattle the magpie, but
I threw a stone at the giant black crow
who sits near my porch and oggles,
through thinks he's a human goggles

then come the grackles, consuming sunflowers
slowly, slowly, then in come the crows
its a murderous feeling, ya know, ya know

being stalked at and cawed at
and stared at and stared at
like roadkill in the midst
of a bowl of buzzards, oh my

send'em on

 

[CharleyH]

Hm. Well, so far no new poems posted, but I will continue to keep a watch for anything dated the 22nd.

 

[Jonathan Pryce]

Originally posted by CharleyH
Hm. Well, so far no new poems posted, but I will continue to keep a watch for anything dated the 22nd.

I posted one... my first.

- J

 

[Maria2394]

Thnka you dear LIar, for the mention of my string theory I appreciate your kind words and to those who commented, thanks!!

oh yeah, and to anyone interested, this poem was inspired by a PBS show titled The Elegant Universe and it is about 2 hours long I think and it attempts to present in simple forms, the mechanics of the universe. I have seen it a few times already, it is mesmerizing, and made me relize that as much as the scientific communinty usually shuns the existence of a supreme being, I think the string theoy proves the existence of a supreme being...anyway, I dedicated it to Albert einstein because he hadnt completed his unification of gravity and electro magnetivity by the time string theory came along and as successful as he was, such a genius, I sort of feel for him...

oops, I rambled...does anyone else use this thread anymore? Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to all, love you guys

maria

 

[Eleanora Day]

Amante XII by Eleanora Day ©
'tis a new beautiful Amante poem. Someone do me a favor and identify the poetry form for me.
#L


ps. If you have nothing better to do, go check out before we lose sight by, well, me.

Thank you for your recommendation, Liar. Amante XII is a vilanelle.



P.S. I liked your poem very much.

E.

 

[The_Fool]

Tath, thanks for the review on the four I just submitted. I have to admit, those were mined out of the Suddenly Passion thread. I found that there were some that I wasn't quite ready to let go to the "buried in the back of the thread" graveyard, whether good or bad.

Thanks to all for reading. Thinks to some for commenting.

Merry Christmas....

 

[WickedEve]

Flying Again by WickedEve ©
Eve goes airborne. A tender poem that deserves to be read lowly.

Thank you, Liar.

 

[seranade]

hop scotched thank you

Thank You

 

[impulse]

Re: monday new poems

Train Wreck by impulse. Wow, yes this accurately describes a train wreck, I have been close to lives like the ones mentioned here. Read it, and see if any of it relates to your life, I kinda hope it doesnt though. This is a dark, sort of desperate poem...

Thanks for the feedback. I wrote this at 2AM by the illumination of a Bic lighter. I was practically asleep when my notepad beckoned. I didn't like it at first, but after a couple of reads aloud, I understood why I had to write it. I only modified two lines in the morning. Of course, there is still a typo. I have a tendency to run in the dark.

 

[impulse]

Re: Monday

Very cool play on sounds and squishy-ness. Maria, someone else writing frog poems! We should form an all amphibian club.



click to read....
Celestial Soup
by impulse ©

"Fat frog flits from his pad
Plunges into black swamp broth
Mud bullion, spinning through space "

In a nod to the faux pas of untimely responses and an addtional hurrah to double posting, I must add this acknowledgement of this acknowledgement.

I am no poet. I write prose as a matter of habit. Some of it is political, some of it fiction and some of it is autobiographical adventure. For some reason, however, I decided to start sharing my little forays into the world of using words playfully. I like working and re-working poems. It makes me smile to know that I have actually made something that others consider worth reading...and, I hope, reciting. This one was meant to be recited in a gravelly voice, spit in little bursts.

 

[Du Lac]

Thank you Maria

Thank you for the kind mention of my poem Gnostic Dreams! I am honored! re: hard imaging with word usage.. volcanic and tornado! I wanted just that reaction... so your response did me good.. I too at first thought it was too long but after trying to cut a stanza out I could not! Thank you again!
blessings
du lac

 

[tungtied2u]

Reviewing the situation
by tungtied2u ©

The bowls
sitting upon the cabinet shelf
waiting to hold your cereal
are just as happy
left empty and undisturbed

A great poem from the title, down to the last line. Well written and a poem that makes you think. Don't miss this one.
__________________________________
Thank you Eve for your kind words.