"To keep the review thread clean..."

[Angeline]

..
hey, that reminds me; you owe some two a day awards in the 2013 thread companion.

Me? Well anyone who posts two poems a day in that thread gets props and finger snaps from me. What more? And I've been at the beck and call of a man with a sprained back all day, so don't expect me to bake anything.

 

[twelveoone]

Yeah, well I just got a firm wrist slap for one of my comments. That's ok. Sometimes it's also good to be told your are being an asshole by someone other than your children

inka dinka doo,
law of unintended consequences, writers do have to be aware, and babar was just fucking funny

Hey, I'm quiting writing, you want to come to Africa with me and watch my leg rot off.

I'll sing ..........The End

of everything that stands
the end

 

[Desejo]

It is the god of cock (erectus says) so it might be fun. .....and isn't it Ali Baba? No R?

I cannot even begin to explain myself without getting into even more trouble, so I'll just drop it. While the wrath of Dinka might be fun, it could also be...painful.

 

[HarryHill]

It is the god of cock (erectus says) so it might be fun. .....and isn't it Ali Baba? No R?

..
Babar was a children's book or books I should say. He made it to Hollywood, has a house in Woodland Hills and is doing well in his old age directing porno flics

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Loving the new thread and I've made a start, even got back to commenting but I just hope you lot over the pond recognise my English sense of humour

 

[Desejo]

Loving the new thread and I've made a start, even got back to commenting but I just hope you lot over the pond recognise my English sense of humour

We will both recognize and love your English sense of humor. But you must do something about your spelling

 

[Angeline]

Loving the new thread and I've made a start, even got back to commenting but I just hope you lot over the pond recognise my English sense of humour

I am not convinced it is just because you are English, you know.

 

[twelveoone]

thanks Harry,
twelveoone has a some very vicious points to make, most lines are devoid of connotation, there forth it is prose. My only hope: bflagsst isn't totally turned of by the title. I did allow some play (ambiguity) in the last few lines.
bflagsst is right, most don't dip into the tool box too much or too often (write prose), i.e. learn the purpose and the craft.
to salvage this, i had to go pillage other tool boxes, and I do know the purpose and the craft.

 

[twelveoone]

We will both recognize and love your English sense of humor. But you must do something about your spelling

have you no honour?

 

[Desejo]

A Klingon's honor means more to him than his life.

Even when it is spelled honour.

Qapla'!

-Desejo, sister of Worf, House of Mogh

 

[HarryHill]

A Klingon's honor means more to him than his life.

Even when it is spelled honour.

Qapla'!

-Desejo, sister of Worf, House of Mogh

..
Oh fuck, live long and prosper

 

[UnderYourSpell]

We will both recognize and love your English sense of humor. But you must do something about your spelling

Heyyyyyyy I speak and type The Queen's English! Not changing it because you lot mixed goodness what into your strange spellings!!

Actually my browser is on your side an keeps trying to change me too!

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Actually my browser is on your side an keeps trying to change me too!

Mine too, I keep adding The Correct spelling to my browsers dictionary. It mist be close to converting

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Do all the new poems go to one place now instead of a different place for Erotic ones?

 

[Angeline]

Heyyyyyyy I speak and type The Queen's English! Not changing it because you lot mixed goodness what into your strange spellings!!

Actually my browser is on your side an keeps trying to change me too!

What did Churchill call us? "Two countries separated by a common language"?

Do all the new poems go to one place now instead of a different place for Erotic ones?

Do you still have to classify poems by category when you submit (I haven't for a long while)? I noticed that on the new poems they all are on a page that says new erotic poems or some such. Odd.

 

[pinkcherry]

Thanks for the recommendations. I am glad that you weeded out Dandelion's Dance from the growth of trash in the poetry section.

 

[Neonurotic]

Thanks all for the comments on my poem, "Dandelion's Dance" about my little one, I find them valuable. I've only ever seen ballet surfing the idiot box, but never actually watched the dance. But having seen my daughter's first recital I've taken an interest in it. I don't know the technical terms of poses/forms, but tippy-toes, I've been told is on pointe or on pointes. Sorry if I didn't use the term correctly.

 

[Angeline]

Thanks for the recommendations. I am glad that you weeded out Dandelion's Dance from the growth of trash in the poetry section.

Hope you don't mind but I moved your post here so we only have recommendations in the other thread. Stick around and write or hang out.

Thanks all for the comments on my poem, "Dandelion's Dance" about my little one, I find them valuable. I've only ever seen ballet surfing the idiot box, but never actually watched the dance. But having seen my daughter's first recital I've taken an interest in it. I don't know the technical terms of poses/forms, but tippy-toes, I've been told is on pointe or on pointes. Sorry if I didn't use the term correctly.

I suspect you will know a lot more about before too long.

 

[greenmountaineer]

Thanks all for the comments on my poem, "Dandelion's Dance" about my little one, I find them valuable. I've only ever seen ballet surfing the idiot box, but never actually watched the dance. But having seen my daughter's first recital I've taken an interest in it. I don't know the technical terms of poses/forms, but tippy-toes, I've been told is on pointe or on pointes. Sorry if I didn't use the term correctly.

Neither do I get the point. I can't speak for you, but it was quite an experience for me. I showed my wife your poem, and she cried happy tears.

If there was ever a case for poetic license......

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Strictly speaking "on point" or "en pointe" is when the dancers wears slippers structurally designed to allow her to perch on the very tip of her foot with the toes pointed, almost impossible to do otherwise. Tip toe or tippytoe is when the foot or feet take the weight on the balls of the feet.

To little dancers just starting out tippytoes must feel as if they look like the prima ballerinas of their dreams.....and to proud parents they do.

 

[Tzara]

Thanks all for the comments on my poem, "Dandelion's Dance" about my little one, I find them valuable. I've only ever seen ballet surfing the idiot box, but never actually watched the dance. But having seen my daughter's first recital I've taken an interest in it. I don't know the technical terms of poses/forms, but tippy-toes, I've been told is on pointe or on pointes. Sorry if I didn't use the term correctly.

As Tess says, the term (I think--I'm no expert on dance) is en pointe for mature dancers. It requires special pointe shoes that enable the dancer to support her (I think these are only used by female dancers, not male dancers) weight on the very tip of her toes. There is a box in the toe of the shoe that allows the dancer to balance thus.

I would say, though, that none of the technical aspects of dance are relevant to your poem, Neo. Your poem is, appropriately, that of a father trying to articulate his pride and his sense of beauty in watching his daughter dance. The correct use of terminology is irrelevant to the poem.

It's quite a lovely poem, and I am envious. I have no children. I'm not envious about that in general, but I do envy that experience (of being a father and watching your child grow up) that I will never have.

 

[twelveoone]

thank you all for the comments
Ange,
You ended line three on "to" which is sonically (and grammatically) awkward,
awkward was deliberate, it is an awkward moment, the echo effect was inadvertent

by erectus123
very interesting, clever

nice to see your writing again, I aways liked Wright, as a comic and as an actor, the use of 45 as opposed to .45 (the gun) is a double play! keep 'em comming!

one of the more pleasant things is seeing growth, you've shown it, sadly the last two have been near walk thoughs for me, so it is doubtful if you'll see much from me. The 45, I can't claim credit for, sloppiness on my part. Keep up the comments.

 

[twelveoone]

Thanks for the recommendations. I am glad that you weeded out Dandelion's Dance from the growth of trash in the poetry section.

thank you too

 

[HarryHill]

Great recommend UYS

Liked the other link too

 

[Angeline]

....

Hope it's ok to put this here too the fib review

I think we should limit posts there to new poem recommendations. Here's my reasoning: If you look through the earlier rec threads, you'll see they go off the rails when people start posting other stuff in them. And then the recommendations get lost and people stop looking at the thread.

I'd have put the link to the Fib place in the Forms Thread. I'm not sure where else it would fit and not get lost.

Have you written some? Did you go up to eight syllables?