"To keep the review thread clean..."

[todski28]

Thanks for the comments on my poem "taking the boss" Harry, molineux and Erectus. Harry you mentionedd possible end of line changes, if you have time maybe you could share them, do I can take a look?

 

[HarryHill]

Thanks for the comments on my poem "taking the boss" Harry, molineux and Erectus. Harry you mentionedd possible end of line changes, if you have time maybe you could share them, do I can take a look?

..
wish you had linked the poem. I haven't been getting out to nps lately; there's a lot out there that deserves comments. busy busy busy till toward the end of the next month

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Thank you to all who commented on my last three.

Twelvie, please tell me what I got wrong in "coordinates".

 

[fridayam]

Some thankyous and some apologies--I keep finding fresh Hells that prevent me from reading and commenting on the great poets here. I will when I find the time, I promise.

1201-as ever thank you for the comment and the recommend. I sometimes wonder if poetry isn't the wrong words in the right place

Todski28, I love attacking taboos with words, and I am glad you liked mine--thank you

 

[twelveoone]

Thank you to all who commented on my last three.

Twelvie, please tell me what I got wrong in "coordinates".

nothing probably, just I felt the other two are better.

 

[fridayam]

Huge thankyous to those who commented on "When on doth rush the enemy....".

erectus123, I am glad you approved, and you too Ashesh9--though I was thinking of somewhere closer to home.

1201--naughty 1201! Back of the class!

Remec, thank you: I've no idea who Pogo is but he must have got that line from a fortune cookie at a "Don't We Hate Ourselves?" Love-In, but sadly I've never been to one

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Belated thanks to all who commented on Siesta and Storm

 

[twelveoone]

Huge thankyous to those who commented on "When on doth rush the enemy....".

erectus123, I am glad you approved, and you too Ashesh9--though I was thinking of somewhere closer to home.

1201--naughty 1201! Back of the class!

Remec, thank you: I've no idea who Pogo is but he must have got that line from a fortune cookie at a "Don't We Hate Ourselves?" Love-In, but sadly I've never been to one

what did I do now?

as for Pogo, he was the closest the US ever came to a philosopher king


"We have met the enemy and he is us."

 

[fridayam]

1201--thank you for enlightening my benighted British soul as to the identity of Pogo. Nevertheless.....

 

[Neonurotic]

Thank you Ange, todski, and Ashesh for taking the time to read then comment on my morbid erotic poem, "Little Porky Taretar".

@ Ashesh, I don't allow voting on poetry, then limited on stories since I end up unnecessarily preoccupied with the scoring. That, and I consider my Literotica submission page as a place for feedback (which is more valuable to me than votes) and as a repository.

 

[fridayam]

Thank you LesseloovesPeter for the comment on "Swords with Words". I guess you didn't know whether you liked it or not

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Thanks to Ashesh, Tod, LesseloovesPeter and 1201 for comments on my little bit of nonsense Solar Shenanigans. Everyone should try a bit of tomfoolery occasionally, stops us taking ourselves too seriously

 

[UnderYourSpell]

By the way 1201 I don't know where you get the idea ladies don't swear, I've known Royalty with a fine turn of phrase!

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Thank you to todski28, Lesseloovespeter, onieria, greenmountaineer and Angeline for kind comments on my new poems.

 

[fridayam]

Tess, thank you for the lovely comment on "A Mother's Letter to her Son" Shakesperian? Wherever did you get that idea?

Lesseloovespeter, thankyou for the comment and I am glad you liked it so much, and so effusively. You must send me a link to a poem your have given 5 to as I am obviously missing something!

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Tess, thank you for the lovely comment on "A Mother's Letter to her Son" Shakesperian? Wherever did you get that idea?

It remimded me of Macbeth - that was Shakespeare, right?

 

[fridayam]

Weeellll, that one might have been co-written Can you imagine the script conference on that one? x

 

[avasogently]

Thank you for recommending my poem.

http://www.literotica.com/p/half-full-of-love-un-verre-de-amor

This for me was very well written, any one else care to read please do

todski, I appreciate your recommendation of "Half-Full of Love ... " Thank you for your comment after the end of the poem, which caressed my soul. I usually write poems spontaneously, but I had been brooding for a while over the pains of middle age -- when long absences of romance and loneliness's foreshadowing of death can be overwhelming. Thus, with heavy thought, I wrote that poem. You and others to whom you have recommended the poem may find the following surprising, but I think I overwrote it. Then again, perhaps I am still too close to the verse and still brooding, so I respect your review in which you expressed how the verse affected your emotions and intellect. I still feel that it is a very sad poem -- not pathetic but melancholy and fatalistic. I will reread it with fresh eyes soon. ... The most recent poem that I composed which invigorates my spirit is "SOLD: Lily Pad No. 251," which was inspired initially by Claude Monet's series of paintings of the pond and gardens at Giverny and my attraction/aversion to fairytales but, more importantly, reflects the tangible pain of unrequited love for which no amazing trip, major financial windfall or lucrative book deal ever will be able to cure. Yes, I continue to brood. Damn those fairytales.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Thanks to normal jean, Ashesh, todski, KittenSoftPaws and Angeline for comments left on Small White Bones .

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Thank you to Angeline for the mention and comment, also thanks to Tod, Greenmountaineer, Ashesh, Oldbear and Tess. The two pointers are actually what I had sat and pondered over myself especially the who/whom !

 

[todski28]

thank you to lesselovespeter, oldbear, angeline, Tazz, and cavu182 for their comments on my poem

not Intended but where I ended.

needed to add

Tristess2 and Greenmountaineer

 

[Neonurotic]

Much thanks to tod, lesselovespeter and Ash for commenting on my poem "Deadfall", second in my "A Shutterclick" series!

 

[todski28]

Thanks to erectus123, ashesh9, lesse and greenmountaineer for their comments on my poem damaged goods,

To GM thanks for the thoughts on the second to third person shift, I was hoping that it would invoke the sense of memory as that is what it was a past lover. I still have a huge tendency to overwrite,

 

[twelveoone]

Thanks to erectus123, ashesh9, lesse and fern mountaineer for their comments on my poem damaged goods,

To GM thanks for the thoughts on the second to third person shift, I was hoping that it would invoke the sense of memory as that is what it was a past lover. I still have a huge tendency to overwrite,

\
I suspect you know what will happen. Perhaps deserves even a thread. For further discussion?

 

[todski28]

\
I suspect you know what will happen. Perhaps deserves even a thread. For further discussion?

Still experimenting, I had a small inkling but got to test the waters to failure before progress or some such business.

thankyou to oldbear, lesselovespeter ashesh9 for your comments, also
Thank you Greenmountaineer for the recommend on my poem, Stones, it was I think the obligatory where has my muse gone poem, written in 2 parts in the writing live thread, over my friggen Halloween poem.

the comment regarding the word change from, chaff to rubble was interesting as I had three words I was thinking of using'

rubble
chaff
scree

I chose chaff because of the ch sound,
ch-isel, ch-ip, ch-aff kind of trying for a chipping sound to play off the three words, to reveal the final lines.