"To keep the review thread clean..."

[flyguy69]

It would be so bad of me to ask whether you spit or swallow...so I won't.

We appreciate your restraint.

 

[annaswirls]

I cannot believe Tzara used the word masticate and RainMan said Fuck.

My virgin ears! Blushing!

 

[flyguy69]

I cannot believe Tzara used the word masticate and RainMan said Fuck.

My virgin ears! Blushing!

I'm just glad to learn there is a virginal part of you!

 

[annaswirls]

We appreciate your restraint.

I appreciate you in restraints

 

[TheRainMan]

This is all I will say about how I review poems. I choose poems that pique my interest and I point them out to everyone.

as you should, vampiredust.

and you do a great job, and give so much of your time and efforts to this community.

keep up the good work.

 

[flyguy69]

I appreciate you in restraints

so you can press your ears against me?

 

[annaswirls]

I'm just glad to learn there is a virginal part of you!

I think there are three or four actually. You know, gotta save something to keep the marriage bed sparking.

 

[annaswirls]

so you can press your ears against me?

I am more of a cheek and between the chin and shoulder girl,

but thanks, now you have implanted another fantasy into my imagination, as if there are not enough already

 

[flyguy69]

I think there are three or four actually. You know, gotta save something to keep the marriage bed sparking.

And when that grows dull there is always mastication

 

[annaswirls]

as you should, vampiredust.

and you do a great job, and give so much of your time and efforts to this community.

keep up the good work.

would you shush it already RainMan, we are having a serious conversation here

: pass the cocoa butter:

 

[annaswirls]

And when that grows dull there is always mastication

yeah and maybe by that time my teeth will be removable and give it all a whole new bite

 

[TheRainMan]

would you shush it already RainMan, we are having a serious conversation here

: pass the cocoa butter:

lol.

ok.

 

[Tzara]

It would be so bad of me to ask whether you spit or swallow...so I won't.

I'm not the kind to chew and tell.

 

[annaswirls]

lol.

ok.

ahhh that's better

 

[cherries_on_snow]

This is all I will say about how I review poems. I choose poems that pique my interest and I point them out to everyone.

I admire the efforts of folks in the poetry review thread, particularly on days when there are 20+ poems to read. Just wanted to take a moment to say thanks for that and you rule!

 

[Sara Crewe]

3-15

......

 

[duckiesmut]

Thanks to vampiredust for the mention, to Boo for the public comment, and to those who commented privately.

 

[RhymeFairy]

edited ~

Off soapbox, into tha flames ~

Sorry, got a lil emotional,
blame it on the day and heady excitement ~
Thanks to all those who read, and comment.

 

[sugarmountain]

I'd like to thank vampiredust and Mystery Valiant for reading and commenting on Strawberry Season.
I'd like to make one small comment on this slagging match going on due to his comments. How many times have I heard poets at Lit slam somebody for leaving anonymous negative comments.....too many to count.
I seem to see a lot of smug sanctimoniuos hypocrisy going on here. I don't care for the hypocrisy.
At least Mystery had the courage to do it out in the open, and is willing to take the heat.
I see a lot of comments applauding people for poems, without saying why, but you don't see this kind of brouhaha over that.

C'mon people, how about a little consistency here. If you're going to set boundaries, at least play within them.

(once again climbs down from handy-dandy portable soapbox and exits, stage left)

 

[sugarmountain]

OOps....sorry Rhymefairy....didn't see your last comment. Hope you'll accept my apology......we all get a bit heated at times. For others, it gets a little to personal, I think.

 

[The Mystery Valiant]

To the rainman.

Thanx for the demeamor, and the editorialism. I corrected the problem. I'm getting a new keyboard as this one has sticking keys. As for your poem being so correct:


The Mirror Unbroken
by SunrockSin ©


Frightening how the plane prismed
into instant schisms of light, reflections
deflected in jagged and bloody edges
the pain wedged deep into torn skin.
Thin shards sliced to bone as the fist
twisted in agony, its blow to the mirrored
chin mired in self-doubt and recrimination,
shunned by anyone professing "true" love.

Above it all somehow, she slyly sifted,
lifting the sparkling, silvered slivers
as if her face had shattered with the blow,
slowly piecing glass into piercing lies.
It was her eyes that hurt the most,
the hostess enduring a pain never inflicted
conflicted by the image she had created
and what she saw in the mirror unbroken.

This is your poem as you wrote it.



The Mirror Unbroken
by SunrockSin ©


Frightening how this plain prisms
into instant schisms of light. Reflections,
deflected in jagged and bloody edges.
The pain wedged deep into torn skin.
Thin shards sliced to bone upon the fist,
twisted in agony. Its blow to the (mirrored???) doesn't even belong.
exposed chin, mired in self-doubt and recrimination.
Shunned by (anyone? "all those") professing "true" love.

Above it all somehow, she shyly sifted.
Lifted by the sparkling, silvered slivers.
As if her (face? "heart") had shattered with the blow,
slowly (piecing? "gathering") glass into piercing lies.
It was ("looking into") her (eyes???) that hurt the most.
(the? "A") hostess enduring a pain never inflicted.
Conflicted by the image she had created,
and what she saw in the mirror (unbroken. Every item and thought, image is crushed under the weight of some violence, and yet the mirror remains whole?)

So forgive my impertinence. But this poem shouted to be revised. It bore such dull and uneventful, confusing images. And such atrocious punctuation! I can't see this as a promise. More of a deflated gift. Yes..., I know what will happen! But there is so much of this going on. And then you have those challenging my punctuation and then leaving things like this, on the altar. I'm ready............

 

[TheRainMan]

Thanx for the demeamor, and the editorialism. I corrected the problem. I'm getting a new keyboard as this one has sticking keys.

you're welcome. you deserved it.

as far as sticking keys, i was wondering what key it was that stuck to turn stanzas into stanza's, and its into it's, as you wrote them. it would seem to me you would have to hit the apostrophe key to do that, which makes your "sticking key" story sound like bunk from someone who simply doesn't know how to spell.

that would be fine. lots of people can't spell. but all of them should know it, and very few of them criticize a perfectly spelled poem, as you did.

as far as the changes you made to SunrockSin's poem, they make little sense to me.

you changed the correct word, "plane" (we are talking about a mirror here, a flat, level surface, such as a mirror, which is what the word "plane" means) to the incorrect "plain." what exactly does a "plain" (an extensive area of level, usually treeless land) have to do with this poem, for goodness sakes?

also in the first line, you create tense problems by switching "prismed" to "prisms," so that the first line is now present tense and the rest past tense. . . while SunrockSin's original had no such problem.

so in the first line alone, you've done the poem severe damage. why should i read your revision any further?

as far as his punctuation . . . it looks perfect to me.

it's pointless to cover your other changes. none do anything good. in fact, they make quite a mess of things, IMO.

 

[MyNecroticSnail]

you seem to be quite an expert here! You seem to have the knowledge or is it credentials... <grin

you seem to have neither, either
lame
Weak and ineffectual; unsatisfactory:
la·mé
A brocaded fabric woven with metallic threads, often of gold or silver.

This whole thread seams lame and dull, although tell-tial-trail thinks it's lamé

 

[angelicminx]

Just wanted to say thank you to vampiredust for the mention and the comment on my latest, Silence Never Ending. I appreciate it.

 

[flyguy69]

I'd like to thank vampiredust and Mystery Valiant for reading and commenting on Strawberry Season.
I'd like to make one small comment on this slagging match going on due to his comments. How many times have I heard poets at Lit slam somebody for leaving anonymous negative comments.....too many to count.
I seem to see a lot of smug sanctimoniuos hypocrisy going on here. I don't care for the hypocrisy.
At least Mystery had the courage to do it out in the open, and is willing to take the heat.
I see a lot of comments applauding people for poems, without saying why, but you don't see this kind of brouhaha over that.

C'mon people, how about a little consistency here. If you're going to set boundaries, at least play within them.

(once again climbs down from handy-dandy portable soapbox and exits, stage left)

I'm not sure I see the hypocrisy here. Many people at Lit (myself included) feel that comments, both good and bad, should be attributable. But that is not at all the same thing as saying that comments are not debatable. Mystery Valiant made a statement of fact, that the mentioned poem was "rife with misspellings," and Rainman corrected him. He also pointed out the irony in MV's complaint, but there is nothing hypocritical about that.

I applaud MV's willingness to share his views on what makes a poem good or bad. And I encourage him to get his facts straight before asserting them.