"To keep the review thread clean..."

[annaswirls]

Aww, thank you!
Okay, so I lied and didn't start yesterday, but I will be starting once I get out of the shower and will post when I'm finished.

I swear. No, really, I will.

there is a special circle of hell for people who desert me in a hellish challenge.... I am stuck on gluttony. Embarassed to write about my ice cream addiction.

 

[annaswirls]

whoohoo!

let's see if i can write nasty, mind if i join you, Anna and arienette, well, loosely join you?




um... it's okay with me if you loosely join us...or tightly I am not sure what level of hell that would put any of us.... but...

Most awesome! The poem and the company!!!

please excuse the writer's language, she knows not what she is writing....


oh I think she does

We all dance sometimes (Limbo)

Thanks to you, asshole,
I learnt how to limbo
long ago, back
when you whipped my body
and dragged my dreams
through winter’s mud, back
when you threw me against the wall
raped my soul and bit my mind
until I no longer knew
that the way we danced
wasn’t normal.

 

[WickedEve]

2-1-12

This is in response to a dare placed on me by one of our moderators. With much honour and reverse pride at stake, I could not refuse. Please, don't let this define the limits of my talent (whatever it may be) but instead, accept it for what it is... A truly shitty poem.

The Ugly Side Of Fairytales

Out in the misty boggy bottom land
there waits a sweet virgin with proffered hand
to stroke the horn of the beauteous beast
as he drools over the freshly laid feast

He stands strong and straight. His great head held high
in shadows dark beneath a grey lit sky,
with rude comment he turns on his sharp heel
and loudly critiques his previous meal

the flatulent spew of this horse's ass
leaves the maid green from the sulphuric gas
he lets rip through the dawn and birdie song.
Then he air wipes the snot dangling down long

and gelatinous from his Roman nose.
With patrician disdain he sniffs at the rose
bushes that litter this quiet clearing
and snorts at the maid who recoils, fearing

his unrestrained passing of body waste.
Much to her dismay, in spite of her haste
the ill-mannered stud lets go a hot stream
that lands on her lace hem to stink and steam.

With loud guffaws at her righteous disgust
he belches as he drops his foul shit just
in front of her toes. She squealed as she ran
to the side of the pond where she began

laughing hysterically at this odd day,
her precious innocence out on display
to entice this boor into the strong net
of her father who she hopes will now get

a fabulous price for the mystical horn
that grows out of the head of the unicorn.
Maybe tomorrow she'll pick him a rose
as he lays dying 'neath brilliant rainbows.

Okay, you did the dare, but even though you had to write about a pooping unicorn, you still managed to make it... kind of pretty.

 

[champagne1982]

<note> ... Eve thinks gelatinous nose boogers are pretty.... </note>

 

[wildsweetone]

Okay, you did the dare, but even though you had to write about a pooping unicorn, you still managed to make it... kind of pretty.

it's always scary when you say pooping and pretty in the same sentence.

*shudder*



Anna, it doesn't matter what level of hell... just remember it'll be warming for winter.

Arienette, I often find it difficult to be in limbo after a shower too. Good start!

 

[arienette]

it's always scary when you say pooping and pretty in the same sentence.

*shudder*



Anna, it doesn't matter what level of hell... just remember it'll be warming for winter.

Arienette, I often find it difficult to be in limbo after a shower too. Good start!

Aww, thanks sweets.

 

[wildsweetone]

Aww, thanks sweets.

you're welcome. roll on tomorrow.

 

[TheRainMan]

4-26

.....

 

[Sara Crewe]

.............

 

[KittenishJane]

KittenishJane has a pair out today, leaving the funeral and leaving the funeral 2. The first is my favorite. Just look at how she sets the somber mood:
"smiles that melt down your chins"

or

"upper lips to drip over your teeth"

Baie dankie

 

[TheRainMan]

4-27

.....

 

[vampiredust]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Sara Crewe]

...........

 

[Sara Crewe]

........

 

[Tzara]

I will be back later. Nevermind.

 

[Tzara]

A Shift Under Sheets

We inhale each other every third night,
which turns into every other and into every day.
We exhale orgasms and mid-stroke tremblings
just after the candle's wick runs out and smoke
starts to fill the room; mixing with the
smell of two lovers and sweat.

Tomorrow we'll go back
to our normal lives.

But we'll keep pulling each other
back onto the bed, under the rustling
of warm sheets. And we fit perfectly
into the crevices of each other, but
will disregard our feelings for just
a little while when the thought that
we're perfect for each other
makes its way through our minds.

Lets keep everything stagnant
for just a little while.

Lets allow things to stand still
so we can keep our heads clear.

But we'll keep up with the midnight meetings
until the sun comes up,
until we are able to finally close our eyes.
And you'll awake in a few hours
at most,
and start gathering your things and
running for the door.

And tomorrow we'll come back to this.

I meant to comment about this one the other day. I think this is remarkable. It has flaws, of course--what poem doesn't have flaws--but I think it's really good in a way that I can't really comment on it. You need someone better than me to analyze it.

I think there are flaws--don't get me wrong--but I am not the person to point them out.

You have, in my opinion, tremendous talent. You should send your stuff into the real world. Submit to, at least, online journals. You are very good.

Ah, well, and, you know. Carry on.

 

[wildsweetone]

(heavy editing) . . .

i'm feeling guilty and apologising in advance (and arrears) because i just haven't spare time to edit the poetry for this thread at the moment.

 

[annaswirls]

i'm feeling guilty and apologising in advance (and arrears) because i just haven't spare time to edit the poetry for this thread at the moment.

no guilt girl, come back when you can.... I am stuck in lust...will come back for the 4th circle when I can

 

[wildsweetone]

no guilt girl, come back when you can.... I am stuck in lust...will come back for the 4th circle when I can

oh i'll be writing, just leaving the editing for a month or so. it doesn't scare me off that much you know.

fancy being stuck in lust... want a hand there dear, or something?

 

[arienette]

I meant to comment about this one the other day. I think this is remarkable. It has flaws, of course--what poem doesn't have flaws--but I think it's really good in a way that I can't really comment on it. You need someone better than me to analyze it.

I think there are flaws--don't get me wrong--but I am not the person to point them out.

You have, in my opinion, tremendous talent. You should send your stuff into the real world. Submit to, at least, online journals. You are very good.

Ah, well, and, you know. Carry on.

Thank you, I definitely appreciate it.
Oh, and ...

 

[Seduceros2]

Thank you everyone...

I'm pleased that Summer Storm Haiku has been so warmly received, truly. Thank you Vampiredust for your review, and thank you to those who left such pleasurable comments (Labroz, even left a comment in haiku, brilliant!) All of you warm me.

Sincerely,

Seduceros2

 

[TheRainMan]

4-28

.....

 

[arienette]

the portrait round

Christine

you wouldn't believe it,
but there's flint sharp zeal
behind those baby blue fluff novas

so preoccupied with glittering
in reflection of stars that only blink
for the beautifully naive

she's the girl who never got a pony
but didn't mind, since the pink unicorn
would be jealous of divided attention
anyway

she's the woman who still believes
in the healing power of nursery rhymes,
of solutions that makes us cringe
a little, but secretly wish we could
give in and clap our hands
in wonder

because who wouldn't want to play,
just play?

*gasp* Another round for Liar? Yay!

 

[Liar]

*gasp* Another round for Liar? Yay!

Beware. I just might portrait you.

 

[TheRainMan]

excellent stuff, Mr P

it

thanks, Chris