Travellin' South - The Dominant Kiss?

[alice_underneath]

In my vanilla experience, my sense is that the majority of vanilla girls really aren't into it. They'll do it "for you" if you ask, with words or gestures, but they'd just as soon not.

For obvious reasons, this Board isn't exactly overrun with vanilla females. And I'm actually not sure what to call myself any more, but speaking from the perspective of actual experience only, I would describe myself as 100% vanilla.

You are correct that many vanilla women don't enjoy giving oral pleasure. I have heard women describe the act as a nuisance, or uncomfortable, or boring, or foul-tasting, or degrading. But frankly, these are attitudes that I just don't understand.

Whenever I am feeling affectionate, loving, grateful, or tender toward my husband (which is often), this is always my first choice for a way to express my emotional attachment in a physical way.

The act itself is exquisitely intimate, and the feedback is unmistakably positive. It's just pure, loving attention on my part, and genuine appreciation from him. Fantastic.

Of course, sometimes I choose to do this just because I'm feeling playful. If a toy has been invented that is more fun than a guy's equipment, I personally don't know what it is!

When I'm feeling playful, it's not so much about controlling the man himself, as it is about experimentation & the pure fun of discovering what noises he'll make if I do this.... whether I can make him twitch by doing that.... etc. The equipment is just incredibly fun to play with. What else can say?

Alice

 

[shy slave]

Just re-read this thread.
I have never made a secret of disliking oral, its along the lines of how OSG described it. It feels so wrong and out of kilter to have someone fiddling around down there.

I have lost count of the number of men who think I have this view because I never experienced it properly or because I have had a 'bad' experience that has affected my ability to enjoy it. (and no, I didn't sleep with all of them lol).

I don't recall any bad experiences, In general, I like rough sensations on my skin, not soft wet licks.

However, it would be an effective punishment to some degree.
Effective because I really dislike the concept of any man serving me, in an attempt to please me. I also dislike the feel of a wet tongue around that area. Mentally and physically its abhorrent to me. I mention this only to clarify that I although the mental distress of having a man serving could be removed by a female submissive licking me, it would not take away they dislike of the physical sensation.

As a punishment it would have to be coupled with an additional aspect that would keep my mind focused on what was happening. If he chooses to do this (and he can if he wishes, its not a hard limit) I 'zone out' and go into a light meditation where I am mentally far away from what is happening at that point in time.

I have been told there is little pleasure in giving a woman oral who is clearly elsewhere.

I understand that punishment is meant to be a process of instruction and reminder of what is and is not acceptable.
If it was used as a punishment over a period of time it may change how the pyl views the PYL and the relationship.

If punishment has a start and stop point, the mid or longer term pyschological aspects of having a PYL 'serve' their pyl may not be easily overcome.
pyls on Lit have said time and again that many of them are, in the rest of their lives assertive and outspoken. The part of the concept of being a pyl is about serving not a PYL serving them.
Any latent thoughts of being a switch or a PYL may come to the surface if any form of punishment engages psychological aspects that cannot be turned off at the end of the punishment.

Oral is about serving, one of you is in a position of being physically lower than the other. Few positions change that concept.
Punishment or not, I don't want to be in a place where he is physically lower than me. It messes me head up.

Of course its possible to work on it by mind suggestion. Stating that the pyl is serving as the PYL wants to do this, but mentally that is a hard leap for a pyl who wants to be mentally and physically put in their rightful place.

I hope that answered your question Catalina, may come by and edit some of this once I have thought it through again.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Just re-read this thread.
I have never made a secret of disliking oral, its along the lines of how OSG described it. It feels so wrong and out of kilter to have someone fiddling around down there.

I have lost count of the number of men who think I have this view because I never experienced it properly or because I have had a 'bad' experience that has affected my ability to enjoy it. (and no, I didn't sleep with all of them lol).

I don't recall any bad experiences, In general, I like rough sensations on my skin, not soft wet licks.

However, it would be an effective punishment to some degree.
Effective because I really dislike the concept of any man serving me, in an attempt to please me. I also dislike the feel of a wet tongue around that area. Mentally and physically its abhorrent to me. I mention this only to clarify that I although the mental distress of having a man serving could be removed by a female submissive licking me, it would not take away they dislike of the physical sensation.

As a punishment it would have to be coupled with an additional aspect that would keep my mind focused on what was happening. If he chooses to do this (and he can if he wishes, its not a hard limit) I 'zone out' and go into a light meditation where I am mentally far away from what is happening at that point in time.

I have been told there is little pleasure in giving a woman oral who is clearly elsewhere.

I understand that punishment is meant to be a process of instruction and reminder of what is and is not acceptable.
If it was used as a punishment over a period of time it may change how the pyl views the PYL and the relationship.

If punishment has a start and stop point, the mid or longer term pyschological aspects of having a PYL 'serve' their pyl may not be easily overcome.
pyls on Lit have said time and again that many of them are, in the rest of their lives assertive and outspoken. The part of the concept of being a pyl is about serving not a PYL serving them.
Any latent thoughts of being a switch or a PYL may come to the surface if any form of punishment engages psychological aspects that cannot be turned off at the end of the punishment.

Oral is about serving, one of you is in a position of being physically lower than the other. Few positions change that concept.
Punishment or not, I don't want to be in a place where he is physically lower than me. It messes me head up.

Of course its possible to work on it by mind suggestion. Stating that the pyl is serving as the PYL wants to do this, but mentally that is a hard leap for a pyl who wants to be mentally and physically put in their rightful place.

I hope that answered your question Catalina, may come by and edit some of this once I have thought it through again.

LOL, don't you dare edit....it is good and is your thoughts and opinion....though I would pose the question that perhaps you are being selective in your thinking in terms of serving meaning you have to be physically lower than your PYL for you to feel you are being submissive and serving him. For instance, what if he is laying on the couch watching TV and asks you to fetch him a drink....even if you kneel to present it to him, you have to walk to deliver it and even kneeling, depending how low the couch is, you are going to be physically higher than him if looking at head height. There may be a multitude of other instances as well...if hs is ill and you are caring for him, if he is sitting and asks you to stand or bend forward slightly for a spanking or cropping etc, etc. It gets complicated and if looking at it from a mental standpoint, to deny, avoid or make difficult something the PYL enjoys and wants, it then becomes a matter of whose needs are being met and who is being served?

Catalina

 

[shy slave]

LOL, don't you dare edit....it is good and is your thoughts and opinion....though I would pose the question that perhaps you are being selective in your thinking in terms of serving meaning you have to be physically lower than your PYL for you to feel you are being submissive and serving him. For instance, what if he is laying on the couch watching TV and asks you to fetch him a drink....even if you kneel to present it to him, you have to walk to deliver it and even kneeling, depending how low the couch is, you are going to be physically higher than him if looking at head height. There may be a multitude of other instances as well...if hs is ill and you are caring for him, if he is sitting and asks you to stand or bend forward slightly for a spanking or cropping etc, etc. It gets complicated and if looking at it from a mental standpoint, to deny, avoid or make difficult something the PYL enjoys and wants, it then becomes a matter of whose needs are being met and who is being served?

Catalina

I see your point LOL

I was only thinking in terms of oral sex but now I have visions of crawling on the floor balancing his coffee cup in the small of my back in order to be lower then him

Please don't give me these thoughts, nor him those ideas

ROFL

 

[catalina_francisco]

I see your point LOL

I was only thinking in terms of oral sex but now I have visions of crawling on the floor balancing his coffee cup in the small of my back in order to be lower then him

Please don't give me these thoughts, nor him those ideas

ROFL

LOL, I knew you would!! ..and it makes for an interesting picture.

Catalina

 

[INSIDEYOURMIND]

but i could never be comfortable with a man being in a position physically beneath him.

That is easily rectified, if you were suspended by your ankles for example!

 

[Netzach]

J
Oral is about serving, one of you is in a position of being physically lower than the other. Few positions change that concept.

At 5'4'' I'm the world's serving bitch.

 

[shy slave]

At 5'4'' I'm the world's serving bitch.

I am 4'9"1/2 (I always count the 1/2 inch, men do, so i do!!), so if your the worlds serving bitch what does that make me??

J

 

[catalina_francisco]

I am 4'9"1/2 (I always count the 1/2 inch, men do, so i do!!), so if your the worlds serving bitch what does that make me??

J

Netzach's back up serving bitch?!! Sorry, couldn't resist.

Catalina

 

[shy slave]

Netzach's back up serving bitch?!! Sorry, couldn't resist.

Catalina

Well with her interest in suspension and my talkative and endearing quips (well I think they are ), its better for me if I am behind her so I can hide, run or whatever to keep out of her reach LOL

 

[Luscinias]

Actually, I see it quite the other way 'round.
When my Mistress gives me the honour of eating me out ( ), she's usually on top, in a way, since I'm mostly on my back and totally giving myself over to her.
And really, I don't think she ever has more control over me than when she's performing cunnilingus on me. She could do about EVERYTHING with me, as I'm lying there, spread-eagled, totally under her will. I don't think she serves me with cunnilingus, it rather is a new stage of submitting to her. ...can I make myself clear?
She can give me absolutely incredible sensations, but she can just as well deny them to me or dose them. When she goes down on me, I usually feel totally at her mercy, which makes it the more exciting.
Even though many people think it's a submissive act, because in the end I am receiving pleasure, of course, it's still up to her how much pleasure or whether I end up satisfied at all. And, ultimately, the aim of 'playing', whether or not it includes sexual intercourse, is pleasure for both partners. And I know that seeing me squirm gives her a whole lot of pleasure.

 

[shy slave]

Actually, I see it quite the other way 'round.
When my Mistress gives me the honour of eating me out ( ), she's usually on top, in a way, since I'm mostly on my back and totally giving myself over to her.
And really, I don't think she ever has more control over me than when she's performing cunnilingus on me. She could do about EVERYTHING with me, as I'm lying there, spread-eagled, totally under her will. I don't think she serves me with cunnilingus, it rather is a new stage of submitting to her. ...can I make myself clear?
She can give me absolutely incredible sensations, but she can just as well deny them to me or dose them. When she goes down on me, I usually feel totally at her mercy, which makes it the more exciting.
Even though many people think it's a submissive act, because in the end I am receiving pleasure, of course, it's still up to her how much pleasure or whether I end up satisfied at all. And, ultimately, the aim of 'playing', whether or not it includes sexual intercourse, is pleasure for both partners. And I know that seeing me squirm gives her a whole lot of pleasure.

Thanks for this point of view, thats a side of oral I struggle with.
I appreciate having it explained and will try and wrestle my mind around that side of it

 

[graceanne]

I am 4'9"1/2 (I always count the 1/2 inch, men do, so i do!!), so if your the worlds serving bitch what does that make me??

J

For that matter I'm 5' (and 3/4"). lol I would LOVE to be 5'4".

But on the subject. I don't dislike oral. But it's not, by far, my favorite thing. I have never orgasmed from it, for one thing. I need a lot more pressure than a tongue can give. *shrugs*

K on the other hand, LOVES to get and give oral. *shrugs* It's more of a him thing than mine.

 

[Rrrosyn]

Oh someone bumped an old thread. *snickers*

I am the PYL whatever. j is the pyl. I hate receiving oral sex due to hip pain. However, I love the mind games I can play sucking him.

1. He doesn't get to cum from it. So it is major teasing with no release.

2. Holding and tugging his testicles or invading his ass with a finger can be a nice surprise. Plus, he doesn't forget who is in control. No bondage required. I can make him drop his pants anywhere in the house (assuming he is wearing any) and suck at my leisure. Teasie, Teasie, No Pleasie.

3. If he really pisses me off, I can use teeth and make him wonder just how much bite pressure it takes to bite it off. (No really, but I can leave hickies and bite marks.)

Oral is about serving, one of you is in a position of being physically lower than the other. Few positions change that concept.
Punishment or not, I don't want to be in a place where he is physically lower than me. It messes me head up.

I would have a whole different take on this. Unless you a wearing a dental device to keep you from biting down, is there a position of more power than to have another's cock in your mouth?

 

[shy slave]

I would have a whole different take on this. Unless you a wearing a dental device to keep you from biting down, is there a position of more power than to have another's cock in your mouth?

But everything has consequences and at some point you have to come up for air...its temporary control.

OTOH its a trusting man who actually dares top put his cock in anyone's mouth, he had better hope he has not pissed them or their best friend off first!

Sometimes the consequences can be worth the risk!!

 

[Betticus]

Oh hell. The Betticus can't be with someone who doesn't love having her pussy licked. A lot.

That pussy is mine, I'll stick my tongue in it whenever I want to. If she doesn't like that then she isn't for me.

 

[graceanne]

But everything has consequences and at some point you have to come up for air...its temporary control.

OTOH its a trusting man who actually dares top put his cock in anyone's mouth, he had better hope he has not pissed them or their best friend off first!

Sometimes the consequences can be worth the risk!!

If I ever bit K he'd hit me so hard I'd probably loose a couple of teeth. I wouldn't say that i have power by giving him a blow job, mostly for that reason.

 

[Rrrosyn]

If I ever bit K he'd hit me so hard I'd probably loose a couple of teeth. I wouldn't say that i have power by giving him a blow job, mostly for that reason.

To be honest j would probably smack me too, assuming it wasn't at a time he was tied up.

What guy wouldn't out of sheer defensive reflex?!

He'd still be more hurt though.

 

[jadefirefly]

Actually, I see it quite the other way 'round.
<snip>
Even though many people think it's a submissive act, because in the end I am receiving pleasure, of course, it's still up to her how much pleasure or whether I end up satisfied at all. And, ultimately, the aim of 'playing', whether or not it includes sexual intercourse, is pleasure for both partners. And I know that seeing me squirm gives her a whole lot of pleasure.

This point of view on it is very much the same as mine. I absolutely love receiving, and like anything that someone wants more of, having it withheld or kept just barely out of my reach is incredibly squirm-inducing.

And squirming is very fun...

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hmmm, my mind has been wandering so thought this might be worth a bump.

Catalina

 

[lil_slave_rose]

reading through this thread i was fascinated to learn that so many see this act as 'submissive' when Master 'goes down on me' He is SO much in control, He controls if i get to cum, how much pleasure i am allowed to get from it, etc...it also amazes me at how many people say they do not enjoy receiving oral...great bump cat

 

[catalina_francisco]

reading through this thread i was fascinated to learn that so many see this act as 'submissive' when Master 'goes down on me' He is SO much in control, He controls if i get to cum, how much pleasure i am allowed to get from it, etc...it also amazes me at how many people say they do not enjoy receiving oral...great bump cat

LOL, well of late I have had a lot of inspiration to make my mind wander in such realms.

Catalina

 

[the captians wench]

LOL, well of late I have had a lot of inspiration to make my mind wander in such realms.

Catalina

lucky you


The only time I don't enjoy oral is when both giving and recieving are tried at the same time. I just can't consintrate on what I'm feeling if I'm trying to consintrate on what I'm doing.

Now I am a proud cock sucker. I think I enjoy giving a good blow more than I even enjoy being pounded....maybe even more than spankings! And while it's not my favorite thing, I do enjoy being pampered a bit and having my kitty licked. But maybe I've had different experiences.

What I love the most, is having my clit sucked. And any one who has ever gone down on me has done such. But I do enjoy long hard licks as well. There is an art to it all I think, and so far I've had great artists.

But it is hard for me to imagine Jounar doing this act to me. It does rather seem like he'd be serving me in this mannor. I think maybe because all pleasure is being focased on me. In this moment I would not be required to think about how I could best please him, but rather how well he's pleasing me. It does seem a bit flipped. But if he enjoys it, who am I to argue against it.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I do enjoy going down on rose... and whilst I am doing it, there is no question of who is in control.

OTOH, when she is orally pleasing Me, I have to say that I get reduced to jelly and can not do much more than moan and yell got DAMN!

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I do enjoy going down on rose... and whilst I am doing it, there is no question of who is in control.

OTOH, when she is orally pleasing Me, I have to say that I get reduced to jelly and can not do much more than moan and yell got DAMN!

*laughs remembering*