Two suggestions

[morninggirl5]

Re: Sandia

Sandia, thank you for your response but I was not so much questioning my own knowledge and experience as I was suggesting that basing experience on number of posts was not a good way to do so.....I understand that it is a forum criteria and perhaps means nothing more than that one has posted often, but I am always careful with nuance when it comes to those new to the lifestyle.

There is much to discourage the newbies; rules, a hinted at hierarchy, "tradition," and being REAL.

It matters enough to me to throw up a question mark when I think the newbies may misunderstand or take something too seriously when it means nothing.....like how often one posts on a forum.

MsWorthy, with your first few posts, you showed yourself to be a very welcome addition to this forum.

Some people come and lurk a bit and post on a few threads and it takes several months to get to know them and that they are serious in their interests.

Others come, post a bit, and realize that this isn't the right place for them. They are interested in other aspects of BDSM or perhaps they are more interested in the online games found in so many other places.

Still others, come and sit on the sidelines and never really participate in discussions.

Everyone gets something different from this board and that is wonderful.

As long as it remains true to it's original intent -- the focus on real world BDSM discussions, answering questions, thoughtfully providing information that is hard to find elsewhere -- this will continue to be the haven so many of us were seeking.

 

[Never]

WriterDom:
"There was a feeling that if we did get a bdsm forum that the gays, and the foot fetish people and the incest story people and the fill in the blank people would also want a forum"

You say it like that's a bad thing.

I don't see the why we should delete the original thread. True, people post links to it but no one seriously expects others to wade through it unless they feel like it.

BDSM personal section. That's a good idea. I'll harass Laurel about it.

 

[MissTaken]

BDSM Personals?

Recently I started a poll in the personal's section concerning BDSM and whether people were engaged real time/on line or both.

IMHO: I think if we were to request such a forum, we might want to demonstrate need. Therefore, I will start a BDSM personal's thread today. I remember another thread that lead to a new forum.

ON the other hand, it seems likely that this forum acts as a personals forum with respect to getting to know one another. Who knows? Someday, someone may announce big plans with another of our lit BDSM posters.

 

[petrel]

Don't lock or delete the Mother thread - If you don't want to read it don't - if you don't want to advise people to read it - don't but please don't lock it down - there are plenty of us out here who find it invaluable and taking away a resource like that it tantamount to censorship.

Don't divide the forum - 'fluff' is the equivalent of munches - it gives us time to relax, to get to know each other - to make friendships, Above all its what makes this place a community

And as an aside who would get to decide what was fluff - as Mz Christa said half the threads on here can start out at either extreme of fluff/serious and run the whole gamut before they are done.

Most importantly though 'fluff' is what positively affirms that just because we are perverted BDSM practitioners doesn't mean we don't have lives too.
If all we did on here was discuss 'serious' and 'proper' BDSM questions I think we would be in danger of becoming faceless perverts - not real live people who are just like all the (and I apologise to anyone for my use of the word) 'Nilla crowd - the only difference is that we like our sex chocolate and coffee flavoured.
besides it would be terribly boring and quite possibly turn into a forum full of intellectual wanking!
*giggle*

If we as a community are really bothered about 'fluff' threads (and haven’t we gone over this ground before?) maybe we can ask people to put 'fluff' in the title of the thread but again we hit the problem that fluff often has important messages for us all.

Any more discussions like this one and we stand in danger of becoming deeply trivial instead of wonderfully frivolous - so this is my only post on the subject.

 

[MissTaken]

BDSM Personals thread

Here it is.

If anyone has suggestions for how I should modify the introduction, please feel free to let me know.

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=100358

 

[Never]

*chuckles**snort*
It got moved to the personal section.

 

[willfulbrat]

Don't divide the forum - 'fluff' is the equivalent of munches - it gives us time to relax, to get to know each other - to make friendships, Above all its what makes this place a community

And as an aside who would get to decide what was fluff - as Mz Christa said half the threads on here can start out at either extreme of fluff/serious and run the whole gamut before they are done.

Most importantly though 'fluff' is what positively affirms that just because we are perverted BDSM practitioners doesn't mean we don't have lives too.
If all we did on here was discuss 'serious' and 'proper' BDSM questions I think we would be in danger of becoming faceless perverts - not real live people who are just like all the (and I apologise to anyone for my use of the word) 'Nilla crowd - the only difference is that we like our sex chocolate and coffee flavoured.
besides it would be terribly boring and quite possibly turn into a forum full of intellectual wanking!
*giggle*

Very well said, petrel, and i agree.

 

[BlondGirl]

The sheep returns to the fold and look at what greets her...


As I expected, I don't recognize most of the names of the post-ers here.

The Mother Thread is one that familiarity and content has made it my fave SM source for information. I remember in general where various topics where discussed in there and can easily find them.

It saddens me that such a thing is even discussed as far as its worth or whether it has a "right" to exist.

This being the first thread I have read after my absence makes me not really sure I wish to waste much more time here--I believe I truly have seen all this place has to offer and probably can't contribute anything that has not been submitted in triplicate before by myself or others.

 

[Sandia]

If we as a community are really bothered about 'fluff' threads (and haven’t we gone over this ground before?) maybe we can ask people to put 'fluff' in the title of the thread but again we hit the problem that fluff often has important messages for us all.

Straight up, Petrel. Besides, how hard is it to tell what's fluff?

Any more discussions like this one and we stand in danger of becoming deeply trivial instead of wonderfully frivolous - so this is my only post on the subject.

I disagree. I think this kind of thread is exactly what the forum needs.

 

[Sandia]

Re: BDSM Personals thread

Here it is.

If anyone has suggestions for how I should modify the introduction, please feel free to let me know.

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=100358

What a wonderful idea, Miss T.

 

[WillowPuss]

Re: The sheep returns to the fold and look at what greets her...

As I expected, I don't recognize most of the names of the post-ers here.

The Mother Thread is one that familiarity and content has made it my fave SM source for information. I remember in general where various topics where discussed in there and can easily find them.

It saddens me that such a thing is even discussed as far as its worth or whether it has a "right" to exist.

This being the first thread I have read after my absence makes me not really sure I wish to waste much more time here--I believe I truly have seen all this place has to offer and probably can't contribute anything that has not been submitted in triplicate before by myself or others.

BlondGirl, I am probably one of the 'faces' you don't know.
However, having read the Mother thread, I feel I know you.

I for one, would be sad if you decided never to return - you contributed a lot of good things to the foundation of this forum. I do hope you will stick around and give some of us newbies a trial.

 

[WriterDom]

If anyone thinks the M thread will ever be closed, it's time to put the crack pipe down. You'll find me there on page one. But anyone should be able to express an opinion without getting hit with cyber brick. So far it's been a good discussion.

 

[Sandia]

Uhm, there's a great discussion on this topic on the GB right now...

If anybody thinks this is not BDSM forum related, please ignore this post.

It seems to me that there's been a lot more negativity on the board lately, that posters are jumping on other posters for things that usually would go unattacked, and that the attacks are more vicious and personal than before. Is this my perception, or do any of you sense the same thing?

Laurel. 8-24-00. Damn. Two years ago.

This is a long one. Sorry. But it's really, really good:

There was a time in my stand-up career that I started hoping for hecklers, because I'd gotten so good at beating them down that I began to desire the rush of power that came with it. The desire to be attacked so I could retaliate got the point where I would puroposely antagonize an audience, creating a heckler. Or I'd unconsciously blow an off hand remark out of proportion and tear into someone who didn't neccessarily need tearing into.

I took a break from stand-up after that, and wrote a play about the experience to sort of pay pennance. I noticed it happening in other comics, too. This was just around the time Def Comedy Jam was taking off, and comedy took a real smart-ass, nasty turn that I didn't like.

So, we've all smelled blood a lot on this board in the past year or so, and the smell can be intoxicating, particularly since so many people have gotten so good at word-play and put-downs. Ramlick (or "Ewe-Suck" as I so overly-cleverly put it) made the error of being obtuse, and was pounded on by several people, as opposed to the maybe one that would have done so a year ago. And didn't someone recently post about how much she loved a fight. Tell me people don't click onto Lasher's or Flagg's or Deborah's (or my) posts more often hoping to read a flame than anything else we might have to say? There IS power there, and it's hard to hold back once you've tasted it.

So, yes, I think there has been more negativity on the Board lately. From me, too. When poor Jeff posted his wrestling picture I wrote "I'm thinking maybe this is why you can't get laid". A simple joke, not at all meant personally, but one I somewhat regretted after posting it, knowing how sensitve the boy is. When he did show his hyper-sensitivity I again blasted him for it. *sigh* It didn't need to go that far. Yes, Jeff should have blown it off, but I don't always need to go for the applause either.

So, sorry to anyone who feels "put upon" lately. Don't go. Stay.

I'll tell you something I learned my first week of working nightclubs. I saw an emcee take heckler after heckler as he went up to introduce the acts. He'd shoot them down, then move on to the next piece of business, without so much as a bead of sweat. I asked him later how he could do that without feeling awful. Didn't the constant barbs faze him? "They don't know me." he said. "I know I'm funny, I can handle myself, and they're just trying to have a good time. I don't take it personally. And the show goes on just fine."

The lesson I got was that it's not only important to learn how to handle yourself with grace from an attack, but how to retaliate with grace.

And now that I've reminded myself of that I'm going to take a retaliation break for a while. So, if anyone's been waiting to flame me with impunity -- you have four hours.

Ready?

Go!

DCL, same date. (Dixon Carter Lee)


Laurel, again:

Dixon, you made a good point. I too find myself drawn to conflict, to the battles of wit (or wit vs. the witless). I've snickered more than once at a lashing post or a witty cutdown, knowing full-well that it could hurt someone's feelings. I'm not proud of it, and in light of the board's current tone, it scares me.

Nothing personal towards you, madam, just that there's way too much mud-slinging going on here for my taste.

That's what I'm afraid of. I've been noticing a lack of posts from certain regulars, and a bloodthirsty tone in others. It concerns me, because it'd suck if this BB became a ruthless war zone. It is, after all, a sex site.

I don't know what to say or suggest, or if anything should be suggested. I'm hoping that April's right - that it's just a part of the cycle, and we'll be back to sickeningly-sweet lovie dovie in no time. Thanks for your input, and I'd appreciate hearing anything else that anyone has to say.

Hmmm. A familiar face:

A Good Point
I think that Bruce makes a good point here--we are all willing to be the sensitive, considerate, and caring adults that we can be when we are involved in a conversation with Laurel. She has universal respect as the godmother of this site.

However, when it comes to dealing with each other, there is no such line of decorum--especially if you are a "newbie" who hasn't yet made the kinds of alliances which can protect you from being ruthlessly flamed w/o opporunity for defense. As someone who has been reading the BB for months before jumping in with commentary, I have seen this type of thing come around before, as April was saying. The people who are just spreading the wings of their experience are using the opportunity to mask their continued feelings of inferiority to the Gurus among us by Lashing out. The internal cliques run rampant on the boards, and threads degenerate into a series of posts which read like monologue--diversity of opinion and adherance to a topic is not encouraged.

But, on the other hand, how friendly does it have to be in order for us to jump right in? This is your site too, everyone. Don't let the bastards get you down, and definitely don't let a few self-congratulatory or off-putting posts silence you!

IMHO...I could be wrong. If you disagree, I will await your response with curiosity.

Risia. She'd been registered a whole three months back then.


Final one, I promise.

Seems like we get flirt-a-thons threads......
and then people complain about it being boring and a chat room....<dont look at me now...hahaha>

Seems like we get a bunch of new posters.....
and then people complain that threads were done before

Seems like we get trolls stirring up shit......
and people complain that the threads are negative

Seems like we get silly and playful threads going.....
and people complain that the level of intelligence has dropped at the BB

Seems like we get heavy intellectual threads going....
and people complain that it is not fun

Seems like no matter where the BB goes....
people will complain.


But personally? ,,,,,I will take a nice blend of silliness, flirt-a-thons and intellectual threads.....and a splash of new posters...
The trolls, well, I am working on tolerance...I said I am working, so dont expect much at first....

Siren. She'd been registered since June of that year.

Sandia.

 

[cellis]

You are wonderful, Sandia...

How nice of you to take the time to remind us this kind of thing has happened before and will happen again.

 

[CarolineOh]

Don't lock or delete the Mother thread - If you don't want to read it don't - if you don't want to advise people to read it - don't but please don't lock it down - there are plenty of us out here who find it invaluable and taking away a resource like that it tantamount to censorship.

Don't divide the forum - 'fluff' is the equivalent of munches - it gives us time to relax, to get to know each other - to make friendships, Above all its what makes this place a community

And as an aside who would get to decide what was fluff - as Mz Christa said half the threads on here can start out at either extreme of fluff/serious and run the whole gamut before they are done.

Most importantly though 'fluff' is what positively affirms that just because we are perverted BDSM practitioners doesn't mean we don't have lives too.
If all we did on here was discuss 'serious' and 'proper' BDSM questions I think we would be in danger of becoming faceless perverts - not real live people who are just like all the (and I apologise to anyone for my use of the word) 'Nilla crowd - the only difference is that we like our sex chocolate and coffee flavoured.
besides it would be terribly boring and quite possibly turn into a forum full of intellectual wanking!
*giggle*

If we as a community are really bothered about 'fluff' threads (and haven’t we gone over this ground before?) maybe we can ask people to put 'fluff' in the title of the thread but again we hit the problem that fluff often has important messages for us all.

Any more discussions like this one and we stand in danger of becoming deeply trivial instead of wonderfully frivolous - so this is my only post on the subject.

Petrel dear, you saved me a lot of typing by eloquently expressing my feelings for me. Thank you.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Fluff?

didn't address fluff in my post, so here goes.

Every list I am a member of has its light side. I don't know if humans can keep their lighter sides submerged to long (at least I know I can't).

I find if there is something posted here that doesn't interest me, I just don't read it. But YMMV.

Ebony

 

[Sandia]

You are wonderful, Sandia...

How nice of you to take the time to remind us this kind of thing has happened before and will happen again.

Thank you cellis.

 

[Lancecastor]

Filing Cabinets.

I think we need more filing cabinets.

With lots of labels.

So we can find where everything is.

And more fluff!

I like fluff; it's sweet, sticky and lots of fun on a sundae.

But Seriously....

I think that Serious Threads grow from Serious Thread Starting....and Fluff kinda goes it's own way.

And Classic Fluff, like the Limericks thread....consistently stays near the top.

And "Passing" Seriousness, like the various Bad Karma threads currently near the top, will fade away and be forgotten.

Summary:
The amount of posts to threads will continue to rule the Board, regardless of how you classify or divide or categorize it.

 

[WillowPuss]

Re: Fluff?

I find if there is something posted here that doesn't interest me, I just don't read it. But YMMV.

Ebony

Ebony, sorry to get off subject slightly, but ... please, what is YMMV?
I have tried and tried but cannot work it out.

Thanks

 

[Lancecastor]

YMMV

Your Mileage May Vary.....these are the words used in north america as the fine print after a fuel economy claim for a new automobile.

Typical car ad blather:

"Your mileage may vary, see delear for details, some limitations may apply, offer only valid in the continental usa except nebraska; closed track, professional driver, don't try this at home, objects in mirror are closer than they appear, seatbelts save lives, always wear your helmet, ride safely, drink responsibly."

In colloquial American English, YMMV means "whatever" or "to each his own" or thereabouts.

Hope this helps;
LC

 

[WillowPuss]

Ohhh thanks Lance!

Well, you learn something new everyday ... and that's my bit for today. (YAY!!! its not even 6am .... does that mean my brain can take the rest of Monday off? phew!)

 

[MissTaken]

Does anyone recall having fluffernutter sandwiches as a child!


I hate them now, but as a kid, they were a huge treat.

 

[lorddragonwolf]

threads

there will always be serious and fluff threads in any forum you go to. and as i think i have read in this thread what one person considers serious or fluff another may not. you also sometimes just have to have a thread or two that are fluff just to keep your sanity..


miss taken yes i remember fluffernutter sandwiches i still will eat them once in awhile. but fluff spread on my ladies body is the best use i have found for marshmallowfluff......

 

[MissTaken]

Re: threads

miss taken yes i remember fluffernutter sandwiches i still will eat them once in awhile. but fluff spread on my ladies body is the best use i have found for marshmallowfluff......

Hmm I was hoping someone would pick up on the innuendo. Of course, you can't see my eyes, so how would you really know?

Yes, fluff....I think it is time for a new thread.

 

[Pure]

playground

This is a response to WriterDom's proposal for a play area and a serious discussion area.

As pointed out, the fur might fly if someone's self styled deep thought were channeled to 'play'.

Alternatively, some say, let threads determine, and that seems to eclipse the serious stuff--look at the top 20 threads: either personal, political, 'community building' or fluff/humor, imho.

I therefore would support this variation of WD's proposal.
Have a 'general area' where everything, including light stuff goes.
Have a serious discussion area also, however, with, hopefully more than one thread.

Obviously there can never be a hard, fast line, since a bit of humor in a 'serious' discussion, is always welcome; yet the idea would be that, unlike the general thread, a person is expected not just to have a one liner, then exit, but to be contributing to discussion.