What are your darkest fears?

[AnonymousSlave]

i am a slave.
my fear is not of heights; it's a fear of falling.
When i was at the top of the Sears tower in Chicago looking down, i thought it was the neatest thing. But i felt secure. i knew i wasn't going to fall.

 

[Master_Vassago]

I also have a fear, and I must admit only one. I fear never finding the sub I know is out there that is just suited to Me. I have found her but the situation isn't condusive at this moment to finalize things the way I would like.

I know there is no perfect sub and everytime I find one that I know would fit the mold fate steps in. I have been blessed with good subs, but not exquisite ones. The latest that I had started to take under My wing was truly exceptional, in every area, she was a newbie and yet had the desire and aspiration to please Me at every turn. So I suppose My fear revolves around her fleeing completely and Me being left out in the open minus a friend and a sub.

 

[le_kinklet]

perverted lil' submissive tart

My darkest Fear is water, i fear drowning or being eating by a shark, i will not get into water if i cannot see the bottom, and i never ever swim alone!!

I this an irrational fear,,, i am not sure,, but it is a fear that is carried over from childhood, and has become progressively worse as i get older, why i don't know!

Is it a true phobia, well with out a medical degree i cannot answer that one honestly, but i would say it is.

 

[Master Bertch]

about fear

I have a few fears. I'm claustrophobic, being burried under 6 feet of snow as a child will do that to a person.
I fear that my children will make the same mistakes as I have. That I will fail them somehow.
I have a fear of becoming immobile, to be bed-ridden. I'm a very active man and love to keep moving.
I do not fear death....I do not fear solitude....
I have a fear of losing the ones I love, I will fight tooth and nail for my loved ones.

 

[Mystery Lover]

I am submissive..

1. I fear being alone. (that's why I haven't left my husband)
2. I fear not being loved.
3. I fear falling in love with my Master.
4. I fear failure.
5. I fear losing my child.
6. Above all else, I fear rejection.

 

[InnerDarkness]

I am submissive..

1. I fear being alone. (that's why I haven't left my husband)
2. I fear not being loved.
3. I fear falling in love with my Master.
4. I fear failure.
5. I fear losing my child.
6. Above all else, I fear rejection.

i read your post and could not help but see myself in it. As I posted previously, I fear being alone...as well as fear rejection and ultimately fear committment despite the fear of the alone thing...

What people who know me may NOT know about me is that I, in fact, am married. Not happily, mind you, but married nonetheless. Your 1st point made me reflect on why i have stayed in an unhappy marriage so long and why I have such trouble moving beyond it.

It has only beeen in the last 2 weeks that I fully confided in my husband how miserable I am, cofessing to him about loving another man...a man who is currently journeying with me on my path to true submission.

My fear of being alone makes it hard for me to take action sometimes, but at 29 years of age I am finally realizing that if i do not soon take this needed action, it will be too late and then not only will I be unhappy for the rest of my life, but...true love may escape me.

The man I am in love with and serve (still online, but soon in the flesh) is teaching me that fear does not have to rule us. Fear does not have power over us unless we give it that power.

Somedays I actually believe him

As each day comes to me, I begin to see more and more how having fear in my life and allowing fear to rule me has dampened my experiences. I have lived behind a cloak all these years not really seeing that I could have been so much happier and so much more alive if only I had made different choices...ones NOT based on fear...

maybe soon I can let go of all my fears and just exist with this new love of mine....THAT is a dream no one can take away from me...not even my fear

 

[incubus_dark]

Have your fears ever been used in your BDSM play? If you're a dom, have you ever used your sub's fears to intensify their experience or manipulate their mind? If your a sub, has your dom ever done this to you? What was the result? Did it go as planned or did it backfire? Did it heighten your experience in some way or cause you greater terror? If you've never played with your or your partner's fears, what do you think of the idea now that it's been tabled?

 

[ammre]

Let's all laugh at ammre!


I'm scared of the dark... actually i'm scared of things outside of my line of vision. Like if i think hard enoug i can imagine a dead person in very accurate detail about to touch my neck (Indeed i jsut turned arround to check and make sure they weren't there) I sleep with a nightlight on.
My borfriend was once spooning me and cuddling me and trying to get me to calm down and i just kept imagining his face rotting away and his eyes sinking into his skull. I cna't watch horror movies... I saw the ring and while i'm driving late at night sometimes i'll imagine the girl form it standing right betwwn my headlights and i'll imagine hitting her but she dissipates and than she's sitting next to me (Imagine the matrix 2 with those weird white dudes but instead a little girl with the hair all infront of the face and the bedragled clothes and the water dripping form her)

There's no way to use that in my play. if i'm thinking about pain and sex than i'm not thinking about dead people... if i'm stuck in a dark room as "torture" or "punishment" I will use a safe word. i'd rather have hooks stuck through my skin than hang upon them than sit in a pitch black room.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Have your fears ever been used in your BDSM play? If you're a dom, have you ever used your sub's fears to intensify their experience or manipulate their mind? If your a sub, has your dom ever done this to you? What was the result? Did it go as planned or did it backfire? Did it heighten your experience in some way or cause you greater terror? If you've never played with your or your partner's fears, what do you think of the idea now that it's been tabled?

For a quick answer before going to cook for the ones I love, yes, Master has challenged some of my fears in scenes, building the trust to help overcome the difficulties to the point I now crave those experiences. That being said, I think to do this without causing major damage, one has to have complete trust in their Dominant which is not misplaced, and the Dominant has to respect the seriousness of the fear enough to allow the submissive to control the scene to some extent if it becomes too much to deal with psychologically, emotionally, or physically. There is a requirement of patience, continued encouragement, and communication at all stages, and most definately no punishment for not succeeding on the first attempt, or subsequent tries.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

Every scene fucks with M's fears, because he's a control freak and a type A, and hates not knowing what's going to happen next. (but it sure makes him hard.)

So it may not play off the deepest phobic fears, but it does play off of significant subconscious ones.

 

[Quint]

To a degree, yes my fears of rejection and failing are used against me in D/s contexts. More often my fear of injury or even death is played with, to a highly gratifying end; fear IS one of my biggest turn ons. However, I take this time to specify: visceral fear is one of my biggest turn ons. Psychological fears are much trickier. Humiliation is good but if T ever, ever pretended to be insane--rather than merely demonic and uncontrollable--then I would RED that one right out of existence. And spend the next few weeks trembling in his arms.

ammre, I will never laugh at that fear. My imagination runs rampant when it's dark. One of the most potentially terrifying things T has done was to tie my arms to a bar in his closet, close the door, and leave me there. I knew he was just in the next room but it was so dark and I kept thinking about what could be in there with me, above my head, down at my feet. Sucks!

 

[Zaudika]

I'm a submissive.

My main fear would be falling also, not the height, but the falling part. As said above from A.Slave if I feel secure in the high place, I'm usually fine.

I'm a little bit clausterphobic<sp> ... but not horribly bad. If I'm kept in a tight place for to long, it'll hit and I start to feel panicy.
I also hate hate hate hate hate spiders. I've gotten a bit better about that though. I can sometimes get close enough to the small ones to kill them now at least.

I had a fear of both lightning and darkness when I was a child, to the point that I'd get halfway hysterical at times, now I absolutely love them both. heh.

 

[Desdemona]

Have your fears ever been used in your BDSM play? If you're a dom, have you ever used your sub's fears to intensify their experience or manipulate their mind? If your a sub, has your dom ever done this to you? What was the result? Did it go as planned or did it backfire? Did it heighten your experience in some way or cause you greater terror? If you've never played with your or your partner's fears, what do you think of the idea now that it's been tabled?

I have had fears used in play. Not my deepest darkest fear, but some lesser ones. I had mixed reactions. Overall, it seems to intensify things for me.

 

[D's mariposa]

Let's all laugh at ammre!


I'm scared of the dark... actually i'm scared of things outside of my line of vision.

No laughing here, ammre... Re my locked room fears. If I wake up in a pitch black room and can't see the door, I have panic attacks. There's ALWAYS a light on somewhere, usually in another room so that I can see the door is open.

 

[FungiUg]

No laughing here, ammre... Re my locked room fears. If I wake up in a pitch black room and can't see the door, I have panic attacks. There's ALWAYS a light on somewhere, usually in another room so that I can see the door is open.

Thankfully I grew out of exactly that -- was about 10 or 11 I think when that went. I notice that my lover's youngest has the same fear though. And he's 13.

My biggest fear as a kid were Daleks, from Dr Who. *chuckle* Of course, now I love SF, although I think Dr Who's a bit silly.

 

[le_kinklet]

Have your fears ever been used in your BDSM play? If you're a dom, have you ever used your sub's fears to intensify their experience or manipulate their mind? If your a sub, has your dom ever done this to you? What was the result? Did it go as planned or did it backfire? Did it heighten your experience in some way or cause you greater terror? If you've never played with your or your partner's fears, what do you think of the idea now that it's been tabled?

Hi Inc,
No my Dominant has never used my fears, nor have i against my Dominant. As stated previously my fear of water has become more intense as i get older, not only that, it is very easy to instill an irrational fear in me,, eg: i am not overly excited about being in a city now cos a building might fall on me, and chit!!! not to mention if i was in the building as it was falling!!! it once took me 6 months to get back in a car after an accident and another 2 months to be able to drive unsupervised! I thinks i am prone to things like that, i do get over some things, but some things just never go away.
But having said that some ppl have very positive experiences after sucessfully facing a fear,,and can go on and further challenge other fears. But not this perverted lil tart, too many things in my life that have had a profound effect on me and will not go away!
Still smiling
~*HuGs*~

 

[Master_Vassago]

Actually I rescend My first post up there. I think that My biggest overall fear is simple. I play sports and am very active all the way across the board. My worst darkest fear has to do with being involved in an accident or getting a disabilitating disease that renders Me unable to type, or rather to move.

Basically to be a invalid. Unable to move without assistance. A parapallegic, sorry if I misspelled that. I would still have My mind but imagine if a stroke had made Me incapable of speech as well. That would be truly horrible, to be isolated inside My own head without the ability to touch, speek, or feel, or communicate. I'd be one of those people that learn to send morse code through blinking.


I don't have the will to surrender to anything, so I imagine even incapacitated as I mentioned above I would find a way to stave off just giving in. I mean hopefully a pretty nurse would come in and submit to My needs lol.

 

[D's mariposa]

Thankfully I grew out of exactly that -- was about 10 or 11 I think when that went. I notice that my lover's youngest has the same fear though. And he's 13.

My biggest fear as a kid were Daleks, from Dr Who. *chuckle* Of course, now I love SF, although I think Dr Who's a bit silly.

It's not a really a childhood holdover, it's a preteen holdover. It didn't scare me as a kid. It's a result of the Sperm Donor's hands off method of dealing with (female) children. (Note. the Sperm Donor is NOT the dad I referred to in in Richard's thread on fathers day. That would be my stepdad, whom I love. I never refer to the SD as my father.)

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[serijules]

In thinking this over, I realized I have a heck of a lot of fears....

I'm submissive

My most irrational fear is phones. I hate them. I hate when they ring, I hate when people talk into them, I hate when I have to talk into them. I am deaf and have never really used phones. Sometimes I'll call someone and let it ring until they pick up and tell them something...like I'll call my mom and say hey mom, get on the computer so I can IM you. But I nearly throw the phone across the room to get rid of it when I'm done. I get upset when people tell me they are on the phone or when they get phone calls. I usually try not to show this because I certainly don't expect them to not use the phone or not talk, but I get oddly irritated and afraid. Once at a play party, a friend was spanking me with another friend that couldn't come listening in on the phone, and she gave me the phone to hold...and I couldn't hold it. I could set it down out of my sight but I could not hold it, nor could I say "hi" without getting nervous and backing away. Once my domme called to listen to me spank myself for her, and I could not say anything into the phone, had to type everything to her instead. I managed to blurt out "love you" before I hung up, but my heart was pounding like mad and I was all flustered. No idea where this stems from really.

I fear spiders and ticks...ticks mostly. I'm a dog groomer by profession, so often times have dogs come in loaded with ticks. I get through it somehow, but for days after I am jumpy, nervous and easily upset by the slightest touch. This stems from being accidenly locked in a basement once in the dark for hours with spiders crawling over me. The thought that ticks can attach themselves to me is just to much.

I fear walking by windows at night. I'm not going to explain this one, it's too stupid.

I fear blindfolds or loss of sight. I 'hear' by reading lips, so a very hard limit is blindfolds, and anything that involves someone being out of my sight. Bondage is a little iffy with me because of this, but with people I trust I'm a bit more relaxed. I also get really upset when I'm in a situation where I can't understand what is going on. That loss of control is very upsetting since I can't do anything to help it many times.

And lastly, I can't tolerate hands around my neck. I will react very suddenly and very violently to hands around my neck, either by physically attacking the person or breaking down into a hysterical fit. This comes from a bad experience. I can tolerate shoulder massages for a few moments, but then I'll start feeling the panic and have to ask the person to stop.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Interesting topic?

 

[bridgeburner]

Categorey - still TBD


I have what my friend Rae likes to call "big ol' phobia" (as opposed to "little ol' phobia") and it generally is centered around water.

I cannot stand next to the whale tank at Sea World for very long. The very idea of something massive submerged in the water - whales, ships, icebergs - can make me shake. I can't look at the Prudential Insurance print ad without getting skeevy. You know the one that says "What you pay for" and points to the tip of a little iceberg above the water and "What you get" pointing to this massive floe of ice underneath? Okay, have to stop talking about it as I'm getting kind of ill.

I have no idea when this started, really, but it's gotten progressively worse in the last few years. I never noticed it until I was in my late 20's. I've always enjoyed the water --- pools, lakes, rivers, the ocean. Never had any fear of going in although I've had three very close calls with drowning. I still go in the water, but certain images or scenes just freak me out. Bizarro.

I have a recurring nightmare about a killer (the appearance changes but the essence doesn't). Usually I'm trying to protect and hide a child or animal that doesn't seem all that worried. When the killer finally appears I'm alone and realize that I was the target all along. I'm not helpless to fight. I can stab or punch or kick like a champ, but the killer just stands there taking it, totally unaffected and I know that the minute I stop slugging s/he will kill me. It's a stress thing that has morphed since my childhood when it used to be a slide that turned into a roller coaster that I couldn't get off. The falling element is missing from the current nightmare, but they're still terrifying so I don't know how much of an improvement it is.

Fear of being alone v fear of rejection leading to a fear of committment that many people have mentioned strikes a huge chord with me. I've made an ass of myself plenty of times and don't have a problem with that --- it's when others make an ass of me that I cringe. I've got a bad personal history of betrayal at the hands of those I trusted, some of it unintentional betrayal but much of it purposeful and malicious. Ridicule, rejection, betrayal and/or abandonment by those you love. Considering my history it's not at all an irrational fear, but looking to the future it's something that I'd really like to be able to lessen.


-B

 

[Kajira Callista]

Three and they are pretty simple. Bugs, rejection, and abandonment.
And yes bugs ARE number one on the list! ick

 

[Severette]

I am submissive...

...and I've got three phobias. First and foremost, scorpions. Just looking at pictures of them makes me want to scream and claw my face. Second...fire. It would be a horrible way to die. Third...drunk drivers. I was in a car accident years ago, and while I came away with nothing more serious than whiplash, it freaks me out to know that these folks are on the road and you usually can't see it coming.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I have a deep pervasive fear of humiliation, also one of abandonment and dieing alone, unloved, in a rented room.