What are your darkest fears?

[Miss Diva]

I am afraid of the dark. Yep at 42 I still want to check under my bed and in my closet to make sure no monsters are there. And am afraid to go to the basement unless all the lights are on.

My PYL uses it to his advantage. He sneaked up on me and turned off the lights one night. And then 10 or 40 seconds later scared me. He had to calm me down. And he has to stay in the room if he blindfolds me. He once pretended to leave and I was so scared I managed to take off the blindfold.

I also hate rats, including the pet kinds (I think they call them gophers). I mean small furry balls that walk. EEK

 

[nymphonancy]

What am I scared of?

I am scared of heights .. terrified actually. If I get close to the edge of anything without a railing my stomach flops, knots and my knees become weak, and yes that includes a deck 3 feet off the ground. Anything higher than that and railing or no I have a full blown panic attack. I have the same feeling just watching somebody sitting on the edge of something or leaning against it. (yes, this has been used against me)

I am scared of my hands being tied/bound. I HAVE to be able to get out of whatever it may be or I am fighting like a mad woman and will not be calmed until I have my hands again.

The regular fears that people have about dying and who will take care of their kids, their kids dying first or some tragic thing happening to them.

Here lately my worst fear, right behind heights, is the fact that I cannot remember 2 full years of my childhood. I can remember before and after those 2 years but not those 2 years. I am afraid of what that means, what could I be blocking, what could have happened and do I really want to know anyways?

I have no idea where the heights and the hands being bound fears came from, but I do know we used to play in a barn and jump out the top loft into hay on the ground. (yes, I'm a country girl). Those memories come before the 2 lost years and then my memory begins again, with us moved and living in another house in town.

I started to go on with my story, then realized this is about fears not me doing a self counseling thing on here.

 

[princess pixy]

Hi, everyone! Still a little shy and lurking a bit, but I decided I would break out of the woodworks on this one.

I'm definately a sub, for starters.

Now, I am almost 19 years old, my birthday is in February , but I am terrified of thunderstorms. I never grew out of the stage in which thunder and lightning were scary, and I don't think I ever will. I believe there is logic behind this fear; Since I can't control it, I do not like it. (Its a little ironic that I am a sub then, hmm.)

Anyway, there is a progression to this fear. I am more afraid of what may happen during a thunderstorm. . .that's right, a tornado. I have never been in a tornado, and the closest I have ever come was when one touched down 30 minutes from where I live, but that was a freak occasion. I panic any time the word is mentioned and suffer from nightmares at least once a month due to the images of the vortex and swirling winds.

There you have it, my deepest, darkest, irrational fear.

I also fear rejection, but not in the lovey-relationship kind. I'm currently writing a novel (non-erotic) and I have incredibly high expectations for it. I've been writing it since high school and now through college, and I really hope for success. Its my fear to lay my work out on the line for someone else to judge, in case they despise it. Yuck.

I am also afraid of computer viruses deciding they want to eat my story, that is not cool. Always back up your work!!

**Pixy

 

[princess pixy]

Whoopsie!

I must be sleepy!

I should like to proofread my last message. I'm 19, ALMOST 20. Goodness.

Time for me to get to bed before I misspell my name or something.

**Pixy

 

[Marquis]

I'm a little similar in that I fear absolute solitude and being alone, as in having no one in the world care if I lived or died. I frequently feel that if I disappeared, nobody would notice.

I have this fear as well, although I probably have no one but myself to blame. I choose to isolate myself a lot, and I can't always expect people to want to just pick up where we left off last time I saw them or spoke to them. I've been thinking about this a lot recently, not getting any presents at Christmas was sad.

 

[TigerClaw]

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[snowy ciara]

I have the same fear. Except I will be that little old lady who lives down the lane and all the kids cross the street when they have to go by her house.

Rats! I was gonna be her. I guess I'll have to be the lady who dressed her kitty in doll clothes and sits her in a high chair at the dinner table so she can eat with the family, which will just be me!

My fears. Too myriad and fucked up to face. But I'm dealing with the biggies. Facing them. I feel like I'm living with my skin off.

 

[Guest]

I have the same fear. Except I will be that little old lady who lives down the lane and all the kids cross the street when they have to go by her house.

Rats! I was gonna be her. I guess I'll have to be the lady who dressed her kitty in doll clothes and sits her in a high chair at the dinner table so she can eat with the family, which will just be me!

Well.... I guess if we start working on it now.. Perhaps by the time we need it we can have the BDSM old folks home up and running.

Nurse fetish anyone????

 

[catalina_francisco]

I have this fear as well, although I probably have no one but myself to blame. I choose to isolate myself a lot, and I can't always expect people to want to just pick up where we left off last time I saw them or spoke to them. I've been thinking about this a lot recently, not getting any presents at Christmas was sad.

I can identify, though I think it is a lot depression. I am a loner by nature and also lapse into periods of deep depression regularly where just getting out of bed or my own way are an effort.....contacting people to be socially correct just doesn't happen then...and then when I am more in the mood to capably converse and be communicative guilt gets in the way and it goes on and on.

This past Christmas and the build up to it was a perfect trigger for it, so just didn't get the Christmas cards out (not even the ecards), as much as I wanted to, nor did the tree or decorations get to make an appearance...managed to phone family back home....eventually. Felt guilty for awhile but then figured most of those I didn't hear from and whom I was feeling guilty about not sending a card to knew the year I had and what I might be experiencing and still they didn't make the move themselves to send a greeting so why was I beating myself up about it?!! I will hear from them again when they need me to do something for them, but maybe I am getting old and grouchy and selective and no longer feel like rushing everytime I hear the scream for 'help'.

LOL, and for decades some have tried to get this message through to me, but only one special man could help me see I needn't feel guilty for not sacrificing myself and my needs 100% for those who are only there when it works for them, and that the ones who really matter are those who are there always and with no expectations in return.

Catalina

 

[Miss Diva]

Rats! I was gonna be her. I guess I'll have to be the lady who dressed her kitty in doll clothes and sits her in a high chair at the dinner table so she can eat with the family, which will just be me!

My fears. Too myriad and fucked up to face. But I'm dealing with the biggies. Facing them. I feel like I'm living with my skin off.

Sorry Snowy Ciara, but you can come visit and help me scare of the kids and bring the cat too. The more the merrier.

 

[Miss Diva]

Well.... I guess if we start working on it now.. Perhaps by the time we need it we can have the BDSM old folks home up and running.

Nurse fetish anyone????

I'm in Ekvitkar. Just make sure my bathroom has a bidet. I mean a bathroom without a bidet it simply barbaric.

 

[robynwildchild]

Originally posted by incubus_dark
Doms, subs, switches and those unclassifiable or whom refuse to be classified,

What are your darkest fear? Which of them do you consider irrational and which are rational? Are any of them hold overs from childhood and are do you think any are true phobias?

Please mention whether you think of yourself as dom, sub, switch or something else in your answer.

inexperienced switch with a great imagination.
this is hard because i don't fear so much, i'm reckless.. i logically disregaurd it unless faced with it, even then... i detach to an extent but...lets see

irrational:
ghosts
being waaay out in the woods without a flashlight.
being drawn and quarter or hung

rational:
death. (my one true fear from childhood~there is a story but digress.)
abandonment. (another childhood fear)
losing a limb or the functionality of my body

i can't really go into too much because in order to be afraid of something like, say, being on the edge of a cliff and falling, you'd have to experience it first in order to have that fear. so i guess there would be the exploration necessary for me to go on.. i dunno.

 

[silver_inari]

I have this fear as well, although I probably have no one but myself to blame. I choose to isolate myself a lot, and I can't always expect people to want to just pick up where we left off last time I saw them or spoke to them. I've been thinking about this a lot recently, not getting any presents at Christmas was sad.

I'm fortunate in that some of my very good friends and I are both good at picking up where we left off. Otherwise...well, it just might suck.

 

[robynwildchild]

thought of another as i went to sleep

somehow the dark makes me think...
i like darkness

rational/irrational?
dark basements. without light.
i'm afraid of that to a certain degree... ever since i can remember.

 

[ethereal~minx]

Doms, subs, switches and those unclassifiable or whom refuse to be classified,

What are your darkest fear? Which of them do you consider irrational and which are rational? Are any of them hold overs from childhood and are do you think any are true phobias?

Please mention whether you think of yourself as dom, sub, switch or something else in your answer.

my darkest fear would be finding out the care that made us what we are does not go beyond the differences that cause us to part.



i fear humiliation from total honesty (of feeling)
i fear losing my sense of self in "relationship" because i believe above all else in the love between us
i fear believing in words to the point he becomes night & day, life & death
i fear not being accepted in my weakness and my strength
i fear disappointing the one i love,

i am receptive and focused~ i am half of a whole, without a couple relationship~ i am me, both dominant and submissive
In a relationship of care & trust, i am both as well~ though passively dominant in my strength but submissive to his..

i think my fears are just that ---false expectations appearing real. i must accept that i will not please everyone 100% of the time, nor myself.
i must accept myself and trust in myself enough to make a decision despite the outcome i fear
and to realize when I am allowing another person's perception of me to become the way i feel about myself--
to not take his perception so personal..whether good or bad.

 

[TigerClaw]

......

 

[Aeroil]

I'm a sub and hate heights. I'm fine as long as I'm inside a building or a plane. But, standing on top of a mountain or on a cliff is terrifying beyond belief and is accompanied by intense vertigo and nausea. Yes, its a holdover from childhood.

pretty much the exact same answer, I turn into a nervous wreck around heights....

 

[Esclava]

my darkest fear would be finding out the care that made us what we are does not go beyond the differences that cause us to part.



i fear humiliation from total honesty (of feeling)
i fear losing my sense of self in "relationship" because i believe above all else in the love between us
i fear believing in words to the point he becomes night & day, life & death
i fear not being accepted in my weakness and my strength
i fear disappointing the one i love,

i am receptive and focused~ i am half of a whole, without a couple relationship~ i am me, both dominant and submissive
In a relationship of care & trust, i am both as well~ though passively dominant in my strength but submissive to his..

i think my fears are just that ---false expectations appearing real. i must accept that i will not please everyone 100% of the time, nor myself.
i must accept myself and trust in myself enough to make a decision despite the outcome i fear
and to realize when I am allowing another person's perception of me to become the way i feel about myself--
to not take his perception so personal..whether good or bad.

This post speaks volumes about the character of a strong submissive.

EM, you do not stand - exposed and open - alone.

Esclava

 

[TaintedB]

Fire, intense heat, being burned. I've overcome the phobia considerably over the years: when once I could not light a match without terror, I can now barbecue with aplomb and even cooly put out the occasional kitchen fire. But I don't know of a worse pain than a direct burn. Naturally (well, I mean, it seems natural to me), fire figures heavily in my erotic fantasies.

 

[AnonymousSlave]

i fear that my Master will find out what my fears are and use them to His advantage.

 

[Halo Jumper]

I really cannot think of anything that I am afraid of. Thats not me being a "Tough Guy" but my father has always taught me their is nothing to be afraid of ( he was/is a marine ) so fear is something that was never tolerated in my family.

If we were afraid of something we learned to control it and conquer it.

But one thing that does get to me is stuff thats uncontrollable like if one of my family or close friends were hurt,kidnapped, or something and I had no control of the situation I guess I am afraid of that.

But far as animals,bugs or stuff like that, No I can't say im afraid of something.

If something comes to mind that im afraid of I will post it here.

 

[Halo Jumper]

I remembered I do have one bad fear.

Stagefright.

I cannot fathom getting up on stage and doing any form of talking,dancing, or singing.

I was most likely black out.

Other than that I dont think I have many fears.

 

[Sodality]

Darkest fear


My darkest fear is to be strung along for months and months lie upon lie like a tower and then meet up to find out that the "Dom" is in all actuality a serial Killer or disturbed individual , and lose my life in what I thought was a carefully planned relationship..Oh...Wait.....I've faced up to that one already...Damn...Well it was still very very scary of course, It was hindsight, found out years later after he'd been caught. Smarts kept me from being a smooshed subbie in a barrel on a farm in Nebraska with a bludgeon hole from a hammer in my skull....

Never can be too careful.

 

[Hammerdown]

Not being in control of any given situation or lacking trust in the person(s) that are... A drunken airline pilot or a incompetent boss spring to mind , having said that I run my own little outfit so I know I'm safe.

Seriously it would be the safety of my kids, the idea of not being able to shield them from the crap in this world does scare me - lets hope I have prepared them well

 

[sunfox]

Fears..

I'm afraid of losing my child. Not just through death, though that horrifies me to the point that I used to sit in her room and listen to her breathe at night to ease my worries.. but through her deciding she hates me, or never wants to see me again.

I'm afraid of being abandoned. I'm an adopted child, and the abandonment fear has clung throughout growing up... it's not completely irrational, but I will go to irrational lengths to protect myself from it.

I'm afraid of paralysis, even in part... it would take away the things I love to do the most in my life, and that would probably destroy me.

On the completely irrational side.. June bugs and bats. I scream and hide from June bugs, something that gives C no end of amusement since I'm so tough otherwise. And I suffer from the delusion that all bats have an overwhelming desire to land in my hair.. an idea that petrifies me.


Edited to add: C is afraid of rabbits. I try not to giggle about it, but it's kinda funny. I tease him about the Monty Python rabbit all the time.