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What made you laugh your ass off today?

bobsgirl said:
Is that horn dog, or corn dog? :p
Click to expand...
As with Twinkies and Ho Hos, no corn dog has ever made it past my lips. My body is a temple, my dear and I do not soil it with such detritus. :p
 
midwestyankee said:
As with Twinkies and Ho Hos, no corn dog has ever made it past my lips. My body is a temple, my dear and I do not soil it with such detritus. :p
Click to expand...

Corndogs don't make the BG list of edible foodstuffs either. Not after an unfortunate incident at the county fair when I was about 8.

A temple, huh? Do tell. I'm all ears. :cool:
 
If you're gonna pretend to be a woman online, don't put a picture of your penis in your profile. LMAO! :D
 
From the movie Dodgeball

This is my very first post. This just struck me as hilarious last night when I watched the movie Dodgeball, and I had to share. The coach says, "You're about as useless as a poopy flavored lollipop!"
 
sands53042 said:
This is my very first post. This just struck me as hilarious last night when I watched the movie Dodgeball, and I had to share. The coach says, "You're about as useless as a poopy flavored lollipop!"
Click to expand...
This coach obviously never saw any of the Harry Potter movies; it would do well at Hogwards!

Welcome to Lit!
 
M's girl said:
And that, my dear, is such a shame :D ;)
Click to expand...
Truly. Y'all will just have to use your imaginations on this.

It should go without saying, however, that my e-penis is ginormous. :cool:
 
I hope that I don't banished from here, but I can't help but laugh when I see this compilation of Olli Williams scenes from the Family Guy. Olli is a weatherman. Like most characters on the show, he's a caricature of stereotypes. He seems very likable, though loud. I think that I worked with this guy. I know that I shouldn't think that this is funny, so I'll apologize now.
 
As the old saying goes, you don't buy beer, you rent it.

A young man was at a ball game and walked into the bathroom. Being a confident heterosexual male, he walked right up to the center urinal in the big row along the wall and proceeded to take a piss. This little red haired guy, no more than about 3 feet tall walks in and whips out this 13 inch schlong and starts taking a leak. Try as he might the young man can't help but notice the little guy's massive tool and finally he breaks.

"Hey buddy, not to be offensive but, I don't get it. Things seem a little out of proportion, if you know what I mean."

"Oh well ya see laddy." the little man responded with a heavy Irish accent, "I'm a leprauchan!"

"No shit," said the young man.

"Yep, and since ye caught me, I have to grant ye three wishes."

"Oh. Well, I'll have a million bucks, Pamela Anderson, and one of those," he said pointing at the man's baseball bat of a cock.

"Now wait a minute, laddy, there's a catch."

"Catch? What catch?"

"Well ya see laddy," siad the leprauchan slyly, "I'll grant ya those three wishes, but first ya gotta let me butt slam ya!"

"No way," said the yougn an, backing up, "fuck that!"

"Think about it laddy," he said, "three wishes!"

The young man started to think. What was a few minutes of ass fucking for three unlimted wishes? "Ok," he siad, "fine."

So they go into one of the stalls, the young man bends over the toilet, and the Leprauchan proceeds to start working the guy over. But he's a nice guy, so he's talking to him while he's fucking him.

"So tell me laddy, what's yer name?"

"John," says the young man breathlessly through gritted teeth.

"Oh, John it is, eh? Well tell me John, how old are ye?"

"I'm...twenty...four."

"Ahhh, twenty four." The Leprauchan leaned over and whispered in the young man's ear. "Well tell me John, don't you think yer a little bit old ot be believin in Leprauchans?"
 
CHILDREN'S THOUGHTS ON THE SEA

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly
age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't
have
sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.
(Billy age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with
crabs. (Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross
the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle
to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off
eating beans. (William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny
tails. And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen
age
6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big
sister
has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels
can
give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think
they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes
my
willy small. (Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers
can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age
8)

13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was
going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right
up
her fat ass. (Jule age 7)
 
Eilan said:
Ruler, schmuler. I had a junior-high science teacher who used to hit his desk with a yardstick to get our attention.

It worked.
Click to expand...
you and i must have had the same teacher. geometry of the of the hellish kind
 
quoll said:
CHILDREN'S THOUGHTS ON THE SEA

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly
age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't
have
sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.
(Billy age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with
crabs. (Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross
the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle
to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off
eating beans. (William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny
tails. And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen
age
6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big
sister
has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels
can
give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think
they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes
my
willy small. (Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers
can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age
8)

13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was
going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right
up
her fat ass. (Jule age 7)
Click to expand...

oh my goodness you just made my day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahheeehehehehehehe
 
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