What made you laugh your ass off today?

[DarkBee]

Earlier today I was recounting me + hubby's morning outdoor sex, and hubby got rather aroused.

He called me into the kitchen, bent me over the worktop and had his wicked way with me.

As he came, he got a massive head rush and flashing before his eyes, staggered and promptly keeled over, hitting the open grill door on the way, completely busting it as it broke his spectacular fall..

Once I realised he was fine, and had only fallen over 'cos he'd cum so hard, I was absolutely poorless, laughing so much it hurt, as he lay on the floor, dazed but laughing at himself. I'm chuckling away to myself now, lol!!

Still have a broken grill door though. Damn!

Well, now your husband can say he had a mind-blowing orgasm...

 

[DepravedMama]

Lol! It was bloody hilarious!

We did wonder if it was perhaps due to my attempting Prostate Milking last night, but weren't sure if the effects could possibly take effect the day after? No idea, but he certainly had one almighty 'O' lmao!

 

[ArchLady03]

The German steel engineer / bridge builder story in class today

 

[unregistered]

 

[satindesire]

Me being able to use the WoW slang term "Terribad" correctly in a meat-life conversation today.

 

[toshiskitten]

Some dumbass having a temper tantrum because I didn't want his ass. I swear why do some men act like little babies if they get turned down?

 

[silverwhisper]

toshiskitten queried:
why do some men act like little babies if they get turned down?

cuz they're not men; they're boys.

and possibly candidates for the PM asshattery thread!

ed

 

[toshiskitten]

cuz they're not men; they're boys.

and possibly candidates for the PM asshattery thread!

ed

Very true. I just feel bad for his wife. That poor woman.

 

[philos]

Knock-knock jokes. Really! My 7 year old and told them for like twenty minutes like some old vaudville act. They're all pretty dumb but they had my laughing.

 

[turner28]

Ok this one might be complicated, but I will try to sum up.

I hang in IRC chat at bondage.com and was in a room chatting with a couple of Dom's. Two things absolutely cracked me up.

1. I will cook socks from time to time, the whit ones, to get the bottoms white again and yesterday was sock cooking day. I hadmentioned this in channel. We were then discussing my search for a real life Dom. One Dom said if II would stop feeding sock soup I might have more luck.



2. In this same room a bit later I commented on the revolving door. People doing fly bys, as we call it in IRC where they pop in and then leave. Well I wanted toprop the door open the same two Dom's asked why. My reply was "To stopthis in out bullshit." One of them said "I have never had a little one ask me to stop in out so soon." Laughing I tried to explain I meant the door but only made the situation funnier. I said something like "You twocan in out all you want it's your room." Talk about sticking a foot in your mouth! One of the Dom's said "Sounds like an open invitation to dp."


I literally fell over laughing because I was talking about the door and they obviously were not.

ET

 

[Saucyminx]

Crisis narrowly averted

I walked into the bathroom this morning to put in my contacts, and there on the sink, in all its glory, was my dildo. Apparently after I had gotten it out this morning because I was, um, dusting. . . . I cleaned it up and forgot to put it away because my work phone rang. I live with 2 teenagers. I can just imagine that whole conversation had they found it. . . .
Hey Mom! You left your penis in the bathroom.

 

[Eilan]

This tl;dr spam-filled thought-vomit was on one of my other online haunts:

I produce as present as up that in the things turned out of intimation of this kind, the intermission is the least sagacity than you forced to entertain without shelve, on a purely conservatory basis. On the converse assumption, if an supplement occurred, you could down the other be continued sooner than the pull a fast one on pro nonassistance to anybody in hazard or situation in commination etc ... All store safe measures rudimentary be taken.

Others, advice at on tangle, summon be skilful to more safely a improved manifesto you but, in the problem of mishap on-line casino, it is each, in form confine, the destructive physically in suppress (rhythmical not members of CA but the President, not) who finds himself with sustain up bracelets and poem or correctional sorrows.

Holder of Erdre since the release of the inland waterways even means of the Road to January 1, 2008, the Institution everyday has encouraged in like of disparate months the talk with the communes byzantine, the Notorious and associations of residents of Erdre, duplicity down trek and associations environmental, on the conditions with regard to operation of the constraint of footboard defined compact nigh the Pandect of Mansion of the Unrestricted People.
The injunction fixes the limit of the domanial river, from which the constraint of footboard of 3 m 25 is exact, it with a intention this creates the conditions of the implementation of this constraint.
The River Gracious Dominion of Erdre is . on the openwork casino , at intervals this enactment, delimited by scope of the unexceptional corporeal limit of the bank: throw or freeboard, when it exists. In the two cases where the arguable limit sawbones of the bank cannot be established sheerest blessed (relaxing caution, cuesta), the dimension of 4,60m in insinuation organization NGF IGN 69 is retained as bases delimitation. The plans of delimitation are annexed to the firman which comes into smash at the office of its publication.

It remains, it is autochthonous, some rivers pygmy or not equipped or whose mat‚riel is out-of-the-way (stoppings bust up on Nantes Sevres), river not equipped (the Loire, in its slice move on) but I had believed to cause reference to that the network already extraordinarily was built and equipped (ex, the Arc in Savoy, in search which the chief collecting should not be away of more than 500 meters on the lattice-work casino of the commencement to 2770 meters of altitude!) and that since genteel more than forty years…
In compensation the rivers, they is in bracelets, to ascertain Rizzanese (Corsica South)
Peut-être also at the conk has it the lifetime the same's prime "pipedream" of the tidal méga-factory of bay of the Hallowed Mount Michel (there, I setting him a lawsuit of denouement, and it is not disinterested!).

What is unchanging it is that it does not non-standard like not to from a sure-fire summarize up unseeable of which is the users of river and maritime spaces: fishermen and fish, of compact, but it is a microscopic reducing and restrictive!
Like a specific says, the avernus is paved packed intentions on-line casino and it non-standard thusly statute be essential payment us to cause in good faith with our win aback enemies, EDF, Godzilla… but with, also, a our "dialect mayhap" friendly…
congruous impede in resentfulness of contrariwise suited ****EREL, it does not evoke at any perpetually in its press conference the problems of schist gas. Should it be deduced from it that the grounds is, tit for the benefit of tat in the administration of its move, barrel, without double entendre, buried?

 

[h_i_s]

Crappy velcro.

 

[Bottomlover]

The PDF of the yet to be released book "Go the Fuck to Sleep"

 

[NippleMuncher]

This is pretty accurate ...

 

[CWatson]

weepingcock made me laugh my ass off today.

http://weepingcock.livejournal.com/191081.html

 

[Quoll]

In for a penny...

My wife and I were "snuggling" (technically post snuggle) one Sunday morning when Mr Four year old kicked open the door (there's supposed to be a rule about closed doors) and charged in. Mr Nine year old's voice drifted in from the other end of the house "Well now you've ruined it."
Mr Four kept coming, looks in the bed, Woo hoo, you're all naked, "I'm getting naked too", rips off his pjs and climbs in, we both move across, "No, I'm getting in the middle" and lo there he is, grinning his silliest grin. There's nothing left to do but draw my knees up in to the defensive position and grin my silliest grin right back at him.

 

[bailadora]

*pounce*


Q! How the hell are you?

 

[Quoll]

*pounce*


Q! How the hell are you?

Phew!

Better than I have been for a while.

 

[Quoll]

Double posts make Q sad.

 

[bumlicker]

haha the president

its been three years now and hes still says the economy sucks because bush was president. whens it going to suck because hes president

 

[Saucyminx]

Double posts make Q sad.

Just pretend you are in a Doublemint gum commercial and then all will be well.

 

[sweettreat601]

My New Favorite Book!

The PDF of the yet to be released book "Go the Fuck to Sleep"

I have laughed many a time over Samuel L. Jacksons reading of the book on youtube. Totally worth a listen!

 

[sweettreat601]

I was standing at my patients bedside with a water glass in one hand and a pill cup in the other attempting to convince my elderly, confused, limited English speaking patient that she really DID want to take her morning meds. Finally she relented and as I leaned over to give the meds, she reached up with both hands, grabbed my breasts and said in fractured English "honk honk! Yours real...mine not!"

 

[StilettosNSpurs]

I was standing at my patients bedside with a water glass in one hand and a pill cup in the other attempting to convince my elderly, confused, limited English speaking patient that she really DID want to take her morning meds. Finally she relented and as I leaned over to give the meds, she reached up with both hands, grabbed my breasts and said in fractured English "honk honk! Yours real...mine not!"

OMG that made me bust out laughing! Thank you for sharing that story!