Why aren't male subs taken more seriously?

[cuklet]

Nature is unfair...

I suspect Graceanne is right. In an ideal world, for every male sub, there would be a female dom. Or, maybe two subs for every dom. And nature would have endowed those doms with an attraction to male subs. But alas, it is not so. We aren't that erotically attractive. We have to work to make ourselves loved or useful for other reasons.

 

[MorfeuV]

oOo

Hot air does.

There you go!

 

[MorfeuV]

You are not your fucking khakis!

I suspect Graceanne is right. In an ideal world, for every male sub, there would be a female dom. Or, maybe two subs for every dom. And nature would have endowed those doms with an attraction to male subs. But alas, it is not so. We aren't that erotically attractive.

There is a difference between being a sub & being castrated.

We have to work to make ourselves loved or useful for other reasons.

If the female Domme does not find you attractive, it is her job to make you into her ideal man.

You don't owe anyone nothing.

The sub is the prize & the trophy and should be treated as such.

I liked the character Wanda Von Dunajew in "Venus in Furs", but Severin was a sniveling little bitch that deserved what he got in the end.

 

[the captians wench]

There is a difference between being a sub & being castrated.




If the female Domme does not find you attractive, it is her job to make you into her ideal man.

You don't owe anyone nothing.

The sub is the prize & the trophy and should be treated as such.

This statement is a bit confusing to me....

If you have a prize and trophy, why would you want to change it? Isn't a prize something that value on it's own? a reward that you work towards having. ....or maybe I just stumbled on to your meaning and a domme works hard to create some one into her ideal and there for at the end of her task gets the prize of having her ideal man.....but then wouldn't the sub not be a prize until the end of the training?

 

[MorfeuV]

Hmm...

....or maybe I just stumbled on to your meaning and a domme works hard to create some one into her ideal and there for at the end of her task gets the prize of having her ideal man.....

That's how it should be.

but then wouldn't the sub not be a prize until the end of the training?

The sub is still a prize becuase the person is willing to be changed.

Understand?

 

[cuklet]

Nature is a cruel mistress

I guess it varies from woman to woman, but I suspect that in general, sub men aren't likely to create a sense of sexual excitement, at least to the degree they present as "sub". I suspect that that is nature. Noone is obliged to entertain our sexual desires, especially dommes. If that makes a person feel castrated, I suppose it depends on what one associates with being a sub, or at least a sub who can't attract a domme.

 

[MorfeuV]

(0-o)

I guess it varies from woman to woman, but I suspect that in general, sub men aren't likely to create a sense of sexual excitement, at least to the degree they present as "sub". I suspect that that is nature. Noone is obliged to entertain our sexual desires, especially dommes. If that makes a person feel castrated, I suppose it depends on what one associates with being a sub, or at least a sub who can't attract a domme.

I understand your point of view.

 

[Ebonyfire]

... I saw this, and thought... say that to some dominant females I've met, and those big balls would be hammered brass in a split second. They get a mite tetchy on that one...

Some may get tetchy, but in reality, it makes no difference what that person posts. It does not change what is.

 

[Ebonyfire]

No wonder males submissives who have some experience in real life do not waste their time by posting here.

To much damned hogwash!

Eb

 

[cuklet]

umm...

"No wonder males submissives who have some experience in real life do not waste their time by posting here.

You know, you can read that sentence in two ways that mean the opposite of each other. Sort of like, "You can't put too much water in a nuclear power plant!"

 

[Lilee]

I guess it varies from woman to woman, but I suspect that in general, sub men aren't likely to create a sense of sexual excitement, at least to the degree they present as "sub".

I wouldn't say that. Being submissive and being a whiny wimp are totally different things. A man can still be strong physically, emotionally, sexually, and have a desire to submit. Personally I find that sexy as hell.

 

[LadyAria]

ALL women want to be Dominated.

Some people ASSUME to know things they have not the ability to comprehend... like the mind of ALL women.

 

[CutieMouse]

Noone is obliged to entertain our sexual desires, especially dommes. If that makes a person feel castrated, I suppose it depends on what one associates with being a sub, or at least a sub who can't attract a domme.

I am honestly struggling to see how this is any different from being a submissive woman. No Dom[me] is obliged to entertain the sexual desires of anyone other than themself.

I would also point out that anyone (male or female) who doesn't see themselves as desireable, or being of great worth, or carry themselves with dignity, will be highly unlikely to attract anyone. Dom[mes] may be "powerful", but don't give them more power than they deserve- the only person who can make you feel unworthy or incapable of creating sexual excitement/etc, is you.

 

[cuklet]

'I am honestly struggling to see how this is any different from being a submissive woman. No Dom[me] is obliged to entertain the sexual desires of anyone other than themself. "

I agree. It isn't different, in that way.

"I would also point out that anyone (male or female) who doesn't see themselves as desireable, or being of great worth, or carry themselves with dignity, will be highly unlikely to attract anyone. Dom[mes] may be "powerful", but don't give them more power than they deserve- the only person who can make you feel unworthy or incapable of creating sexual excitement/etc, is you."

I agree with you here, also...so I suppose I wasn't very clear in what I meant. I was speaking to the initial question of why male subs might not be taken seriously, or may have trouble meeting someone who will meet their needs....generally speaking, before one gets to be known, I suspect human nature kind of works against male subs. (not all the time, not for everybody, just generally)

I wasn't speaking about worthiness so much, but the idea of worthiness does raise a problem.....you are right that noone can make you feel unworthy but yourself, but does feeling worthy necessarily translate into someone finding you worthy?

 

[CutieMouse]

... but does feeling worthy necessarily translate into someone finding you worthy?

In my experience? It makes all the difference in the world. Why on earth would anyone else give me the time of day, if *I* don't even think I deserve it?

 

[cuklet]

Dignity...

CutieMouse,

There is an interesting problem with dignity, too...some sub's particular erotic interest may be to be deprived of dignity, or to be "wimpy". (Is there a reason I am gendering" this? I Don't know...how might it be the same or different for different genders?)

So, for a Domme to say that they can be attracted to male subs because subs don't have to be all 'wimpy" shows why it might be hard for some male subs to get hooked up. To be "Wimpy" is not attractive, perhaps, but it is a part of what some subs are into.

I am not complaining, just trying to get to the truth of it, so please let me know what I might be missing.

 

[cuklet]

"In my experience? It makes all the difference in the world. Why on earth would anyone else give me the time of day, if *I* don't even think I deserve it?"

I agree, but I meant something different. I may learn to be perfectly proud and happy about my sexuality, and feel it is worthy, but if my sexuality isn't what other people are into, then it won't be worthwhile for them, unless I have something else to offer besides.

I don't think we disagree, really. Or do we?

 

[CutieMouse]

CutieMouse,

There is an interesting problem with dignity, too...some sub's particular erotic interest may be to be deprived of dignity, or to be "wimpy". (Is there a reason I am gendering" this? I Don't know...how might it be the same or different for different genders?)

So, for a Domme to say that they can be attracted to male subs because subs don't have to be all 'wimpy" shows why it might be hard for some male subs to get hooked up. To be "Wimpy" is not attractive, perhaps, but it is a part of what some subs are into.

I am not complaining, just trying to get to the truth of it, so please let me know what I might be missing.

Ah, but I draw a distinct line between enjoying (or needing) humiliation, or being a very passive soul (Lordy I hate confrontation!), or seeing oneself as quite small and humble, and being without dignity. I can accept (or desire) a lot of humiliation, or be placed in situations where I might feel powerless and lesser, and still know inside my soul that I am a worthy person.

IMO it's that little corner of one's heart and soul that retains a sense of self-worth and dignity- that little spot of self-Love that shines through even in the most challenging situations, that seperates even the "wimpiest" submissive from a whiny groveling twit.

 

[CutieMouse]

"In my experience? It makes all the difference in the world. Why on earth would anyone else give me the time of day, if *I* don't even think I deserve it?"

I agree, but I meant something different. I may learn to be perfectly proud and happy about my sexuality, and feel it is worthy, but if my sexuality isn't what other people are into, then it won't be worthwhile for them, unless I have something else to offer besides.

I don't think we disagree, really. Or do we?

Ah- that just boils down to compatabliity. Pfft. I think we've been talking in circles. *laughing*

Finding a soulmate sucks. It's hard, and annoying, and enough to have made me celibate. But everyone has a soulmate. The second you stop believing that, they dissapear- kinda like how you have to believe in fairies or angels getting their wings every time a bell rings.

 

[cuklet]

"... that seperates even the "wimpiest" submissive from a whiny groveling twit"

I laughed out loud when I read that, CutieMouse! Twitdom is something noone aspires to, I guess,(but all too many achieve!)

Here's to your soul mate turning up just when you are the readiest!

 

[Aeroil]

There is a difference between being a sub & being castrated.




If the female Domme does not find you attractive, it is her job to make you into her ideal man.

You don't owe anyone nothing.

The sub is the prize & the trophy and should be treated as such.

I liked the character Wanda Von Dunajew in "Venus in Furs", but Severin was a sniveling little bitch that deserved what he got in the end.

hmm hmm... while "Training" can be important and even necessary in a lot of D/s relationships, I am still going to be Aeroil, that's not going to change or I'm running away from that relationship.

If a Dom/me doesn't want a sub as witty, creative, and completely crazy as me, they can keep looking

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

hmm hmm... while "Training" can be important and even necessary in a lot of D/s relationships, I am still going to be Aeroil, that's not going to change or I'm running away from that relationship.

If a Dom/me doesn't want a sub as witty, creative, and completely crazy as me, they can keep looking

laughs........hey Aeroil you forgot humble dude

 

[Aeroil]

I always forget that one.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Some people ASSUME to know things they have not the ability to comprehend... like the mind of ALL women.

**Nodding**

 

[Ebonyfire]

In my experience? It makes all the difference in the world. Why on earth would anyone else give me the time of day, if *I* don't even think I deserve it?

Piggybacking...Which brings me to repeat the point I have made several times in the past. What good is the submission of a person who thinks they are not worth much or even worse worseless?

Eb