Why is obesity so prevalent amongst BDSM practitioners?

[cremebrulee]

Tired, but had to add...

I am a bit tired and didn't read the entire thread to be sure this hasn't been said already, but the gist of it in my mind is this:

The reason you will see more overweight poeple involved in the BDSM community is that they are looking for more than just sex. Folks who are looking for just SEX or a SEXUAL attraction have a tendency to go with what turns them on that way (visually and physically). With My experiences in the BDSM community it has not been like that (well, not TOO much anyway...). There is more to be considered than just the way one looks, therefore we see inside the mind, inside the body, outside at times, but we look more to see who a person IS rather than what they APPEAR to be.

I hope this makes sense, I am going on two hours sleep...LOL

Nitey Night wabbit

~Creme

 

[Etoile]

Re: Tired, but had to add...

I hope this makes sense, I am going on two hours sleep...LOL

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who does that!

 

[Betticus]

I remember this thread from long ago.

Good debate, good topic.

I want to see RJMasters current opinion on this.

 

[Guest]

 

[sincerely_helene]

Personally, I think it's because we subs have no self control!

I mean, nobody said we couldn't eat all the chocolate, right?

But, seriously, many subs are all about instant gratification. Surely that has to have something to do with it!

Surely, you meante thatt in jest!

PM.S: Sorry abbout all the tybos. I ham typing with one hand.

 

[RJMasters]

A few thoughts

I would like to give this a bit more thoughts, but just on the surface I would suggest:

I think there are many reasons why being over weight is so prevalant within BDSM circles. I would think they are much the same reasons most people are over weight, only magnified.

Some reasons people become over weight (excluding medical problems) addiction, depression and pleasure. Because people who are involved in BDSM tend to be more extreme, it stands to reason that over weight problems which stem from these things would be magnified, hence more prevalent.

Some have suggested that the BDSM community is more open and accepting, that there not a single focus upon the sexual attraction as there are many ways to find satisfaction i.e. power exchange which need not be sexual at all.

To some level I can agree with this thinking in that an over weight person can find different sources of happiness than trying to compete with the swimsuit model image in society today. They can meet another person's need through submission or dominance.

My take though is mainly because of pleasure and replacement gratification.

Pleasure - In the world we live in today, in most cultures, we do not eat to survive, we eat for pleasure and what tastes good. This mindset opens many new doors of opportunity which can lead to being overweight. Because the nature of pleasure is more more more... well you get the picture.

Replacement gratification - One of the things that happens when someone has a craving or need, but deny themselves of that craving or need, they will turn to a replacement or subsitute in order to sate or gratify the urge. This is why many gain weight when they try to stop smoking. They have this uncontrollable urge for a smoke, but they deny themselves of it. This urge or desire feels very similar to "Hunger". Hunger is that feeling you get when your body needs something. The addictive smoker's body needs it "drug". The answer to hunger is of course to eat, because after you eat you are no longer hungry, sooooo when you feel the hunger or urge for something...like a smoke, soda-pop, sex, submission, dominance, "whatever" and that need cannot be filled...eating tends to be the replacement gratification in an attempt to sate the (hunger) craving.

Again this is magnified in the extreme to a person who has the constant craving to submit, yet has no S/O in which to do it. Since the need is constant, the behavior of replacement gratification is also constant, and its a vicious downward cycle.

Just a few thoughts.

 

[Betticus]

Those are some interesting thoughts on the matter RJ, thanks.

Now what about this in relation to our fitness thread? How does your improved physical fitness affect your confidence and your Dominant side?

Would you say that you are a better Dominant for feeling stronger, faster and healthier or the same?

I know for me the improved fitness translates through it all from higher self confidence to just having stronger desires. I'm more aggressive and that translates into being a more effective dominant man.

I wonder what it is like on the sub side? If a sub is in peak fitness and has a body to kill for does it make her feel better? Does she feel sexier and more able to make her Dom lose control and take her? Is she a better sub for being in good shape?

Now, for something addictive. The euphoric feeling you get from the endorphin rush when you do resistance exercise. I think that the body has it's own built in reward system for keeping in shape. Everything just feels better. Especially sex.

 

[h_i_s]

Whether overweight or under weight... true beauty is found within. Be happy with yourself. Love yourself regardless, and others will as well. (and if they don't, well ... what an easy solution in the chore of weeding out the useless nuckfuts out there). It's all about self image .. first & foremost. Confidance is a beautiful thing to behold.

*shimmies her skinny ass down off of the soapbox*

Best come back for those insults regarding weight issues:

Yeah so? I can lose/gain some weight. What are you planning on doing to improve your IQ/face/ignorance?

 

[Marquis]

no need/cream/books

 

[RJMasters]

Those are some interesting thoughts on the matter RJ, thanks.

Now what about this in relation to our fitness thread? How does your improved physical fitness affect your confidence and your Dominant side?

Would you say that you are a better Dominant for feeling stronger, faster and healthier or the same?

I know for me the improved fitness translates through it all from higher self confidence to just having stronger desires. I'm more aggressive and that translates into being a more effective dominant man.

I wonder what it is like on the sub side? If a sub is in peak fitness and has a body to kill for does it make her feel better? Does she feel sexier and more able to make her Dom lose control and take her? Is she a better sub for being in good shape?

Now, for something addictive. The euphoric feeling you get from the endorphin rush when you do resistance exercise. I think that the body has it's own built in reward system for keeping in shape. Everything just feels better. Especially sex.

Well I would agree that I feel better about myself, which does translate into more confidence and having the ability to do things.

I would say though that being in better shape just has over-all good effects on you weather you are a Dom/me or Submissive.

I do not want to give the wrong impression, in that I am not accepting of people in how they are.

I have a simple perspective:

A person has a Heart, a Mind and a Body. I can love and accept people for any specific one, but the most desired of course would be a person who makes an effort in life to improve all three.

Speaking only for myself here....for years, I hid behind being an intellgent and caring guy, and felt people should accept me as I am. What I really was doing is making an excuse for being lazy and allowing my body to show it.

Having a body that is in decent shape and healthy is more about having a better quality of life and not so much about accepting or not accepting who people are. It is sad when people base their acceptance on physical appearance, and as I have learned from personal experience, it is just as sad to build defenses to defend being over weight based on acceptance.

So my final advice is to be happy with who you are, but strive to improve your heart, mind and body. You will enjoy life better, you will be a better Dom/me - submissive - person.

I agree with Betticus in that I have found the endorphin rush I experience during exercising is a more positive replacement gratification that has positive results across the board in my life.

 

[readyrider53]

BBW&BBM

I am a few pounds overweight but have found that the people I have been involved with don't care. We are interested it what we have in common. I have found this to be true in all aspects of my life and interest. Not to say that you won't find people that have to have the perfect person for things to come together. This is fine with me if they are more concerned with my appearence than what we want to share let them keep looking. I will admit I have always found a woman with a few extra pounds so much more sexy. I guess you would call me particular because of this right?

WW

 

[FurryFury]

First off, I am on the heavier side of normal myself. That does not mean I am unattractive or in poor health. People can be "overweight" without being social pariahs or socially inept. I have seen desirable/attractive women who are a good 20-50 lbs above their ideal weight.

But why are so many BDSM people heavy? I can't think of any systematic theories. Thoughts?

Is this even true? I haven't seen it to be so at our local get togethers.

However the population in the US, particularly the Southern States is steadily getting heavier. IMO, that is because of processed foods, bad nutrition and lack of exercise but WTF do I know?

Fury

 

[rbijon]

Is this even true? I haven't seen it to be so at our local get togethers.

However the population in the US, particularly the Southern States is steadily getting heavier. IMO, that is because of processed foods, bad nutrition and lack of exercise but WTF do I know?

Fury

Not me, I am 6' & 185 lbs, and lean and sexy and love to be spanked!

 

[FurryFury]

Not me, I am 6' & 185 lbs, and lean and sexy and love to be spanked!

*SPANK, SPANK, SPANK*

Tell me you want it baybee!

*smiles*

Fury

 

[rbijon]

*SPANK, SPANK, SPANK*

Tell me you want it baybee!

*smiles*

Fury

spank me! My ass can take it.....
spank me again because You love to spank a guy with lace panties on....heheheeeee

 

[FurryFury]

spank me! My ass can take it.....
spank me again because You love to spank a guy with lace panties on....heheheeeee

*looks shocked*

How did you know that???

*sets up spanking machina*





Fury

 

[rbijon]

*looks shocked*

How did you know that???

*sets up spanking machina*





Fury

You have spanked this pantyslave before.....heheheeee

 

[FurryFury]

You have spanked this pantyslave before.....heheheeee

Who lil ole me?

*bats lashes and whispers*

Couldn't be.

*winks*

Fury

 

[rbijon]

Who lil ole me?

*bats lashes and whispers*

Couldn't be.

*winks*

Fury

I love the feel of your strict hand on my pantyAss!
heheheee.....spank me again....

 

[FurryFury]

I love the feel of your strict hand on my pantyAss!
heheheee.....spank me again....

*snarls*

Was that a humble request? Or an order?

*raises brows*

Where is the hijack thread when you need it?

*chuckles*

Fury

 

[rbijon]

Was that a humble request? Or an order? *raises brows*

Where is the hijack thread when you need it?

*chuckles*

Fury

humble request....Mistress!

 

[FurryFury]

humble request....Mistress!

*fixes you with a look*

Fury

 

[rbijon]

*fixes you with a look*

Fury

eyes down....& at your service!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hey guys, did I miss something and this became a role play thread on a forum which BTW states it is not here for role play?....there is a whole forum for that if you want to play....sheesh somedays I wonder if there is any hope of keeping a topic going without cyber fantasy coming in to take over!!

Catalina

 

[FurryFury]

Hey guys, did I miss something and this became a role play thread on a forum which BTW states it is not here for role play?....there is a whole forum for that if you want to play.

Catalina

See I knew that was coming.

LOL.

It's a Jerry Springer thang. It "just happened." Sorry.

Fury