Why is obesity so prevalent amongst BDSM practitioners?

[boese_ami]

i'm a slender gal, but for some reason, in my fantasies, I'm always owned, forcibly taken, by heavy set elder men. something about not being attracted to someone in real life leads to a much more arousing fantasy i guess.

i have heard that alot. being a big guy myself (woldn't say obese, just heavily muscled witha small beer spoiler), mist girls were surprised at how good i could make it for them....

knowledge and skill have nothing to do with weight and appearance

 

[osa23]

laziness -

far too many people are willing to allow their laziness to dictate the outcome of their physical appearances.

over the last twenty years (i am 41 ....) i have dedicated myself to the art of possessing a body that reflects my mind and my mindset -

discipline.

too many so-called 'doms' are lazy and uninspired. why would any woman want to be involved with a so-called 'dom' who can not find the inner discipline and devotion to possess a strong body that reflects their so-called strong mind..?

a true man doesn't allow his mind and body to fall into disarray. i don't care about any of thees soft excuses being peddled about how physical appearances doesn't matter -

would anyone buy a shitty looking car... with rust and broken windows because the motor runs great..?

would anyone buy moldy bread to make a sandwich out of...?

would anyone buy a boat that leaks ......?

would anyone go to a doctor who always have health issues, such as constantly coughing up phelgm whenever he examines a patient..?

then why make excuses for having a body that's overweight, obese, and not pleasant to look at and be with....?

 

[Etoile]

too many so-called 'doms' are lazy and uninspired. why would any woman want to be involved with a so-called 'dom' who can not find the inner discipline and devotion to possess a strong body that reflects their so-called strong mind..?

a true man doesn't allow his mind and body to fall into disarray. i don't care about any of thees soft excuses being peddled about how physical appearances doesn't matter -
(snip)

then why make excuses for having a body that's overweight, obese, and not pleasant to look at and be with....?

Wow. That's just, like...wow.

Shallow much? I mean, really...what is this "true man" and "so-called strong mind" bullshit?

It's great for you that you've found a hobby you enjoy, but the rest of this post is just ridiculous. Are you trolling?

 

[Quint]

.............

 

[FurryFury]

IMO, when you start saying what a "true" man is then comparing people to rusted cars with broken windows, moldy bread, leaky boats and so on, no, that's not okay but that is just my opinion.

As for the doctor example, LMFAO! People go to doctor's every single damn day who clearly have illnesses the same or worse than those they treat. I could name many examples but I won't.

In fact people DO buy beater cars with good engines, and leaky boats, sometimes by accident or with age moldy bread. Hell, people even "buy" that someone is a "true" something only to find out that for their purposes, that person is not only "true," but truly fake for their needs and purposes.

I simply don't appreciate the, "I'm better than that philosophy" presented here. That's never a good thing in my book.

I see people everyday that are sooooo damned lonely, almost chasing their tails in circles because they have been taught to want a "real" something or someone, that fits an image. If they looked, really looked, at the people who treat them well, and the people beneath the skin, they might find a "true" match that would make them happier to be with than the most "real" or "fit" person they imagine they "must" find or "settle."

No doubt we all have something in mind that we want or are drawn to even on a subconscious level at times and hey, each to their own. However to use a wholesale put down of anyone else not fitting that ideal is simply offensive IMO.

Fury

 

[Etoile]

I think I know what you meant. I personally would not phrase it with inflammatory remarks as you did (detracts from your point), but I don't consider it shallow to strive for physical perfection (or as close as possible) and to seek partners with the same drive. It taps directly into my primal "find the best, most capable, tough, and dominant male to mate with" zone.

I didn't find it shallow that he wanted to be physically perfect - but that he was preaching that others should be the same way. The comment about "soft excuses that appearances don't matter" is total cockabooty.

Like I said, it's great that he has a hobby, and I have no problem with him wanting it for himself and his partners. But the entire post was preachy and snotty, IMHO. He was basically saying that people who are not physically perfect must be less worthwhile as human beings - and I find that shallow.

Not arguing with you, Quint, just clarifying my position!

 

[Quint]

.............

 

[submissiveknight]

There is one thing that I have always noticed about people thru observation in my life so far. When they throw there opinons of other people out into the open they seem to be referring to themselves. Most of the time they are the ones who are insecure.

Now I'm not referring to a rebuttel of what someone said. For one must stand on their morals.

For these people there always seems to be an underlying insecurity for them to make derogitory remarks towards other. It helps them cover there faults.

If someone is happy with who they are and the way they are, it throws these people for a loop, you could say it puts them in attack mode.

The hardest thing in life is to become at peace with yourself!!!

Oh by the way this is towards that guy up there Y'all were referring to.

Oh and Etoile, thanks so much for your help with my text problem you made me remember that (control m) will space lines!

 

[JMohegan]

T knows that I expect him to remain active and keep his weight under control. To me, that is as basic as saying "continue to read so your brain doesn't turn into oatmeal." It's a reasonable expectation and I have enough pride that I won't settle for less than a partner who I find physically attractive.

I have the same expectation for a partner.

In fact, when setting boundaries at the inception of a relationship, one of the areas in which a partner agrees to cede control to me is in the realm of physical fitness (on an "as needed" basis only).

That is to say, she agrees up-front to obey my instructions on diet and exercise should I deem such instructions to be necessary at some point in the future.

 

[dominiqque]

What is it with the.."if he were a REAL Dominant he wouldn't behave that way, or treat you this way, say that, do that etc.
or that a "real" Dom takes care of his physique or he isn't a true Dom...WTF?
Lets be "human" first shall we?

 

[Etoile]

What is it with the.."if he were a REAL Dominant he wouldn't behave that way, or treat you this way, say that, do that etc.
or that a "real" Dom takes care of his physique or he isn't a true Dom...WTF?
Lets be "human" first shall we?

Bingo.

 

[bellascura]

I have the same expectation for a partner.

In fact, when setting boundaries at the inception of a relationship, one of the areas in which a partner agrees to cede control to me is in the realm of physical fitness (on an "as needed" basis only).

That is to say, she agrees up-front to obey my instructions on diet and exercise should I deem such instructions to be necessary at some point in the future.

Sorry to maybe poke my nose where it doesn't belong, but would it be possible to clarify your response to this?

How exactly does one determine the proper diet/exercise/physical state for someone else? Is this a health matter for her well-being or is this stipulation simply for your aesthetic pleasure?

 

[i_love_myself76]

Bingo.

Ok maybe it is just me but being happy with who you are is the number one thing about being a domme atleast it is for me I might not be barbie but im healthy all my parts work better then most I know can still bend like a pretzel if I need to and just cuz i mightbe a bit heavier then "the average" guy wants Please if you dont like me for who I am then It is your loss not mine.

 

[CutieMouse]

Sorry to maybe poke my nose where it doesn't belong, but would it be possible to clarify your response to this?

How exactly does one determine the proper diet/exercise/physical state for someone else? Is this a health matter for her well-being or is this stipulation simply for your aesthetic pleasure?

I'm not JM, but I understood his words to mean he expects his partner to be conscious of her health, work to maintain herself through exercise and diet, and if she should fail to do so, he would be perfectly okay to point out XYZ issues, and inform her that they would be changed, thusly. (through diet/exercise/etc)

I've had a relationship in the past, where I was expected to maintain a certain (healthy) weight, eat properly, and walk several miles a day. He wanted to ensure, should our relationship move forward, that A) we would have as many years together as possible, and B) he recognized he found a particular body type most attractive, and prefered a partner who fell within certain proportions.

 

[JMohegan]

Sorry to maybe poke my nose where it doesn't belong, but would it be possible to clarify your response to this?

How exactly does one determine the proper diet/exercise/physical state for someone else? Is this a health matter for her well-being or is this stipulation simply for your aesthetic pleasure?

First and foremost, it is a health matter. If any doubt existed as to healthy diet, exercise, or weight level, a doctor's orders would obviously trump mine.

It is also a matter of aesthetics. Like every other human being, I have a preference for a partner whom I find physically attractive.

Over the years, I have seen many people who get comfortable in a relationship and subsequently alter their diet and exercise habits very significantly. That's not okay with me.

 

[JMohegan]

I'm not JM, but I understood his words to mean he expects his partner to be conscious of her health, work to maintain herself through exercise and diet, and if she should fail to do so, he would be perfectly okay to point out XYZ issues, and inform her that they would be changed, thusly. (through diet/exercise/etc)

I've had a relationship in the past, where I was expected to maintain a certain (healthy) weight, eat properly, and walk several miles a day. He wanted to ensure, should our relationship move forward, that A) we would have as many years together as possible, and B) he recognized he found a particular body type most attractive, and prefered a partner who fell within certain proportions.

Ah! I was writing while you posted.

Yes, that's it exactly.

 

[BeachGurl2]

It's interesting to me to see how we 'tolerate' certain things but not others. What offends us is not something we tolerate in others, but what we find okay, we do tolerate. I guess that's just human nature.

Case in point: there have been several people here who have talked about what they prefer in their partner - that they be physically fit, height/weight proportionate, etc. Some of them are being blasted as not being tolerant enough of those who don't fall into that category. While some of the posts have been a little on the harsh side, at the same time, everyone is entitled to his own opinion. Just because you don't agree doesn't mean the opinion is wrong.

Personally, I am not physically attracted to someone who is significantly overweight. At my age, it's not unusual for people to be carrying around a few extra pounds - a few, to me, is maybe 10-15 pounds. A few to someone else might be closer to 5 or even 30. Personally, I don't need someone who works out everyday and has a 6 pack stomach, but I do want someone who can hike and be active with me. You can't do that if you're carrying a horse around your middle. At least, not at the level I am interested in being active. I don't work out regularly, and I've probably got 10 extra pounds to lose myself. But I stay active and I try to eat healthy foods. That does not mean that I think everyone needs to be physically fit. I don't really care if someone is or isn't. But if they aren't, I'm not going to be attracted to them and will choose not to date them. You can call that shallow if you want. It is partially about what I find physically attractive. But it's also about being healthy and participating in mutually enjoyable activities together.

Everyone has different tastes. That's what being human is all about - being different and unique. Just because their tastes are different from yours doesn't make them wrong. It just makes them different. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Marquis]

You know what cracks me up?

How many people are really happy being overweight?

How many overweight people wouldn't accept the deal if God offered to tone them up with a snap of His fingers?

It's not like we're criticizing people for being short here. Your weight is something you have control over. You burn more calories or you eat less calories or both, and you will lose weight.

Period.

I don't give a fuck about your thyroid or your genetics. Your body is not a magical machine that can create matter you do not first ingest.

 

[Etoile]

I don't give a fuck about your thyroid or your genetics. Your body is not a magical machine that can create matter you do not first ingest.

Except for Prader-Willi syndrome, but that's a tangent we don't need to take.

 

[SirFace]

You know what cracks me up?

How many people are really happy being overweight?

How many overweight people wouldn't accept the deal if God offered to tone them up with a snap of His fingers?

It's not like we're criticizing people for being short here. Your weight is something you have control over. You burn more calories or you eat less calories or both, and you will lose weight.

Period.

I don't give a fuck about your thyroid or your genetics. Your body is not a magical machine that can create matter you do not first ingest.

What a tool.

 

[bellascura]

First and foremost, it is a health matter. If any doubt existed as to healthy diet, exercise, or weight level, a doctor's orders would obviously trump mine.

It is also a matter of aesthetics. Like every other human being, I have a preference for a partner whom I find physically attractive.

Over the years, I have seen many people who get comfortable in a relationship and subsequently alter their diet and exercise habits very significantly. That's not okay with me.

I wasn't being judgemental, I was just curious. Thanks for clearing it up.

 

[Marquis]

What a tool.

I'm guessing you're fat.

 

[SirFace]

I'm guessing you're fat.

He who spews his lack of mental contrrol with glee all over lit has little room to speak about eating disorders.

 

[Marquis]

He who spews his lack of mental contrrol with glee all over lit has little room to speak about eating disorders.

With glee?

I am deeply regretful about those areas in my life where I lack control.

Can you say the same about your avoirdupois?

 

[Marquis]

Except for Prader-Willi syndrome, but that's a tangent we don't need to take.

You know, this is so weird, I SWORE I had a response to this post and I have no idea where it went.

In any case, as far as I understand it, people with PWS are often obese because they have unusually large apettites. I did some quick research and it appears they often have low muscle mass, which would suggest a slow metabolism as well.

The human body just isn't physically capable of creating matter.