WT: Mental Health Issues and BDSM - Can They Co-exist Happily?

[myinnerslut]

i have slight ocd, a history of eating disorders, and have been bi-polar since i was 11. as of now, everything is under control and doesnt affect my day to day life, or BDSM, but my medical history does affect my limits. becuase of my history of eating disorders, which stemmed from my bi-polar disorder, my limits include forced eating, denial of food, forced excersize, and cutting/knife play. and i obviously have to make sure that i take any meds i have to take in both the morning and night, and arrange with my Sir to take them when im supposed to if im in bondage at the time, or anything like that. my Sir has been very good about being supportive of me if i was having any problems. he even went as far as to create rules to help me when i was having a tough time (ex: he helped me not relapse into bulimia by creating a rule that every time i made myself throw up i wasnt allowed to cum for a week. i havn't made myself throw up since).

 

[Miss_Adagio]

I never thought about it from that point of view...I always figured my mental illness history has interupted with my previous vanilla relationships (or dismall attempts at), but I always felt my mental illness issues were in part what drew me to bdsm - (AHHH please don't get me wrong! I am not saying you are crazy if you are interested in bdsm!!!!!! Let me explain!!!!)

In my case, amongst other things I have been told that I have dependant personality disorder (can be described as being 'submissive and let others make all the important decisions in their lives') and have had a long history of self injury (ie: I am comfortable with pain). I don't believe (I haven't had very much experience so I don't KNOW, but...) I don't believe that in a bdsm relationship these types of things would cause a problem. So maybe depending on the problem, it can co-exists happily?

Except for depression, which just plain sux all the time.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I never thought about it from that point of view...I always figured my mental illness history has interupted with my previous vanilla relationships (or dismall attempts at), but I always felt my mental illness issues were in part what drew me to bdsm - (AHHH please don't get me wrong! I am not saying you are crazy if you are interested in bdsm!!!!!! Let me explain!!!!)

In my case, amongst other things I have been told that I have dependant personality disorder (can be described as being 'submissive and let others make all the important decisions in their lives') and have had a long history of self injury (ie: I am comfortable with pain). I don't believe (I haven't had very much experience so I don't KNOW, but...) I don't believe that in a bdsm relationship these types of things would cause a problem. So maybe depending on the problem, it can co-exists happily?

Except for depression, which just plain sux all the time.

I agree about the depression. As for the dependency, I am a no limits slave without rights, but if he ever feels I am becoming dependent and in danger of becoming totally reliant on him to make decisions and think for me, he takes steps to change it and make me take responsibility. It has never really been an issue as I have lived very independently most of my life anyway, and part of my role as his slave is to take on responsibilities and tasks he doesn't have time, desire or patience for. Sheeesh, trying to find a house to buy when I didn't speak or read the language was not an easy one.

The pain thing is also something he wants to come froma different place. If he ever felt I enjoyed or needed the pain from a place which was a motivator for self harm, he would refuse to continue. He will not engage if he feels he is being used as the tool, or encouraging something he feels is negative for the D/s dynamic. It is not that it is wrong, it just isn't where he wants to direct his D/s or SM from. I am sure there are plenty who would not have any difficulty with integrating these issues nto the relationship and turning it into a positive of sorts. Perhaps in the long term it will actually act as a positive for your health.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

i have slight ocd, a history of eating disorders, and have been bi-polar since i was 11. as of now, everything is under control and doesnt affect my day to day life, or BDSM, but my medical history does affect my limits. becuase of my history of eating disorders, which stemmed from my bi-polar disorder, my limits include forced eating, denial of food, forced excersize, and cutting/knife play. and i obviously have to make sure that i take any meds i have to take in both the morning and night, and arrange with my Sir to take them when im supposed to if im in bondage at the time, or anything like that. my Sir has been very good about being supportive of me if i was having any problems. he even went as far as to create rules to help me when i was having a tough time (ex: he helped me not relapse into bulimia by creating a rule that every time i made myself throw up i wasnt allowed to cum for a week. i havn't made myself throw up since).

It sounds like you have set healthy limits for yourself, and you have someone who is equally involved and mindful of helping you maintain them.

Catalina

 

[O'Mac]

I am in the business of living my life, not analyzing it. I am not interested in analyzing slave or any of the submissives I deal with.

Eb

Always good advice, Eb.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Always good advice, Eb.

Life is too short ya know? I take people as I see 'em, and if I think they are whacked, I leave them alone.

 

[Marquis]

Life is too short ya know? I take people as I see 'em, and if I think they are whacked, I leave them alone.

I don't think it's fair to categorize everyone who needs to see a therapist as "whacked."

 

[Etoile]

I don't think it's fair to categorize everyone who needs to see a therapist as "whacked."

Agreed. Especially in this day and age when a lot of people go to therapists for a whole slew of reasons.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I don't think it's fair to categorize everyone who needs to see a therapist as "whacked."

I stand by my statement.
First of all, how do you know I was referring to "everyone who needs to see a therapist" as whacked? Whacked is whacked, Marquis.

I said that if I think the person is whacked I let them be. Do not put words on the page for me. I know what I wrote.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Agreed. Especially in this day and age when a lot of people go to therapists for a whole slew of reasons.

You too, Etoile. Please refrain from misinterpreting my words.

Whacked is whacked, and I let them be.

 

[Ebonyfire]

** A note to anyone else in this thread who cannot read...

If you cannot read my statement accurately, then do not read it at all. DO NOT put words on the page with my name associated with them.

This is what I said:

"Life is too short ya know? I take people as I see 'em, and if I think they are whacked, I leave them alone."

Nowhere does this statement refer to anyone needing therapy. Sheesh! Get a grip people!


Eb

 

[Kierae]

This is what I said:

"Life is too short ya know? I take people as I see 'em, and if I think they are whacked, I leave them alone."

Nowhere does this statement refer to anyone needing therapy. Sheesh! Get a grip people!


Eb

I understand what you are saying..."whacked" people are an investment in time, energy, patience...amongst other things. I can say this having done the psych nursing bit for many many years and of course being surrounded by people with one issue or another. Not everyone feels the need to "hang in there", do the therapy bit, be nuturing. Sometimes it is totally worth it (hanging in there) and other times - hell no. Yes I have the tshirt in several sizes thank you very much!

~kierae


(of course my edit is to point out that I, like many other folks in the industry have a history, which means that yes I truly believe that sometimes you can find total hotness/mindblowing sex in whatever form ya declare it - ie your norms may not be my norms but eventually if we are lucky we find the yin to our yang). Just my 2cps...

 

[Marquis]

I stand by my statement.
First of all, how do you know I was referring to "everyone who needs to see a therapist" as whacked? Whacked is whacked, Marquis.

I said that if I think the person is whacked I let them be. Do not put words on the page for me. I know what I wrote.

I made that inference by connecting your post with a previous comment:

Quite frankly I do not want a submissive who needs counselling or a therapist. I am not in the therapy business.

Eb

They're so close in content, I guess I must've thought they were in the same thread when I read them.

 

[Etoile]

You too, Etoile. Please refrain from misinterpreting my words.

Uh, Eb, it wasn't about you. I was responding to Marquis. Okay? Back down.

 

[saw_man1]

I'm with you on this one

This is what I said:
" I take people, I see 'em, and I whack them." Eb

Look, why don't we pool our resources. I have a few people I want whacked too.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Uh, Eb, it wasn't about you. I was responding to Marquis. Okay? Back down.

You responded to Marquis' misquote of My words. So it was about me. I will not back down.

Eb I can roll my eyes too.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I made that inference by connecting your post with a previous comment:



They're so close in content, I guess I must've thought they were in the same thread when I read them.

They were discrete comments and you know it.

 

[Marquis]

They were discrete comments and you know it.

No, despite your implication, I think it's pretty clear from my original comment that I saw them as connected. Which, while perhaps mistaken, isn't exactly a far stretch of the imagination.

I have to say, given the uncommon sensitivity and abrasiveness you've shown in this and other threads recently, I find your disdain for people who could benefit from therapy to be most ironic.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I find your disdain for people who could benefit from therapy to be most ironic.

I see you are projecting. You do not know me well enough to say what or who I disdain.

Let's just say that I will not bother to correct you again. Think what you like. I have disdain for people who misquote and misinterprete my words.

I have not given my opinion of therapy at all, and you know that. I said I do not want a sub who needs a therapist. That is a whole different issue.

But as usual, you will project your own agenda on my words. Have fun.

P.S. I find your use of the word ironic, well, ironic.

Have a nice day.

EB

 

[Etoile]

Okay, this thread is turning into total l0lz0rz. Popcorn and cookies for all.

 

[myinnerslut]

for those of you who see a therapist... do you share the fact that your in a BDSM relationship with them? how do they react? do they try to convince you that its "abnormal" or "wrong"?

 

[Marquis]

for those of you who see a therapist... do you share the fact that your in a BDSM relationship with them? how do they react? do they try to convince you that its "abnormal" or "wrong"?

Yes. Minimally. No.

 

[Etoile]

for those of you who see a therapist... do you share the fact that your in a BDSM relationship with them? how do they react? do they try to convince you that its "abnormal" or "wrong"?

I haven't seen a therapist in a few years, but when I was she did know about it. I definitely told her I was in a poly relationship, because at the time I still had a lot of issues related to that. I'm pretty sure the BDSM came into it too, though I don't quite remember. She didn't try to tell me it was wrong; I wouldn't keep seeing someone who did. There's a website out there that lists mental health workers (psychologists, psychiatrists, etc) who are kink-friendly; if you Google for "kink aware professionals" that ought to bring it up.

 

[sky_028]

living very well

Hello, for the last 11 years I have been in treatment for schizoeffective anxiety and tendencies. I take 12 pills a day. Allot of people may lose their sexual desires and fantizes, but mine seems to be the oppsite of that. I want it in every way all the time. The reaility and schizophrenia are very differnt from here. A schizophrenic can make anything reality, in their own ways. Get very much involved in BDSM and able to live all their lifes happy and fullfield and duties instore as of thier lifestyles. I have been with the same man 14 years. Very enjoyable in every way and have explored sex play in many ways, shapes and forms. He is very much my master and I do what ever he wants me to do. No abuse, just very much excitment in the sex...
28

 

[catalina_francisco]

Bump...