Yo femsubs

[catalina_francisco]

It is a funny thing about words..I understand the M/s dynamic and Sometimes I can see myself in that role. But never, ever could I handle being called a slave. The word to me personally never means consent.

That doesn't bother me...in terms of slavery as understood in the mainstream world, there are slaves who have consented to becoming such, just as there have been slaves of various race and culture, even English. To me, I have given up consent, so it works in that sense, and as he is the focus of all I do on a daily basis, it also works for us in that sense. LOL, contrary to many M/s relationships where it seems the needs of the slave are paramount and catered to by the M, in ours I am definately of service to him in more ways than just sexually and am the one who does most of the physical labour (99.5% of it), as well as makes sure his needs are met over mine. I could never feel it worked if it were about him doing everything to make sure I was happy, had all I needed, and didn't want for anything at his expense.

Catalina

 

[Bandit58]

It is a funny thing about words..I understand the M/s dynamic and Sometimes I can see myself in that role. But never, ever could I handle being called a slave. The word to me personally never means consent.

A Dom friend of ours has said that I would probably make a good slave, but I personally don't identify with that - not sure why I'm perfectly happy being a submissive

*Another thought* Perhaps it's because I see a "slave" as being more micro-managed than I would like.....or having to give up control of everything e.g. finances (which is a hard limit for me).

 

[A Desert Rose]

Ok, before I can even comment, I have to say, Netz, I your new av.

I'm not sure which category I fall under here. I like ageplay to an extent. It's not a lifestyle choice for me, though; it's more of a fun thing to play with occasionally.

However...and this is a big "however"...even when I do the little girl thing, he is never, never, never, NEVER under any circumstances "Daddy." Daddy is my biological father, whom I worship and idolize. (I have the biggest non-sexual Electra complex you ever did see; I'm an only child, Daddy's little girl, and all that.) No man will ever measure up to my Daddy in my mind--B. included--, and to call someone else "Daddy" is the biggest sign of disrespect toward my father that I can possibly imagine.

For that reason, I won't even consider a relationship with someone who's into the D/g thing. Not to mention the fact that many of the practitioners of this particular brand of BDSM are so sickeningly sweet with one another that I teeter on the brink of diabetic coma every time I have to listen to a forty-year-old "little girl" wax romantic about "Daddy."

And this is where I was going with the goth clothes thing... I can't imagine me calling anyone Daddy at my age... even my own Dad.

Before I piss anyone off here, this is about me, not anyone else. If you're into this kinda thing good on ya, carry on and all that stuff.

 

[Netzach]

That doesn't bother me...in terms of slavery as understood in the mainstream world, there are slaves who have consented to becoming such, just as there have been slaves of various race and culture, even English. To me, I have given up consent, so it works in that sense, and as he is the focus of all I do on a daily basis, it also works for us in that sense. LOL, contrary to many M/s relationships where it seems the needs of the slave are paramount and catered to by the M, in ours I am definately of service to him in more ways than just sexually and am the one who does most of the physical labour (99.5% of it), as well as makes sure his needs are met over mine. I could never feel it worked if it were about him doing everything to make sure I was happy, had all I needed, and didn't want for anything at his expense.

Catalina

When you put it like that, I'd be open to having a female slave. Something I'm super leery of.

You're one of maybe a handful I've ever met who prioritize being useful over being protected and reassured every possible way. This used to be my big bone to pick, and fundamentally what was such a huge honkin' turnoff to me in my bottom adventures initially. Yeah, I have a pussy, yeah I'm not made of glass, can we get over this and actually put me to work? Evidently not, no we could not. He kind of got it then, whereas other men didn't at all, but I had so much other mental noise at 26.

But I don't boil down to 1. fuckability and 2. vulnerability and I find that most people's idea of submission boils down to that.

My flavor with my Bull is different and more conventional now, I guess I found an exception to my rules. Fuckability and vulnerability loom large, but still aren't all that's going on. I've chilled out and changed so much. But I can mentally revisit those old frustrations in a heartbeat.

 

[wicked woman]

I fixed your post to fit my size... LOL

This is why goth stuff on me would be so scary.

Yes 'one size fits all' was what I meant. Would you follow me around and fix all of my typos please?

 

[wicked woman]

A Dom friend of ours has said that I would probably make a good slave, but I personally don't identify with that - not sure why I'm perfectly happy being a submissive

*Another thought* Perhaps it's because I see a "slave" as being more micro-managed than I would like.....or having to give up control of everything e.g. finances (which is a hard limit for me).

I hear you. I knew a Dom who also said I'd make a good slave. Personally I disagree. While I'm quite happy to give up the level of control that I do as a submissive, I am definitely not willing to give up the total control required to be a slave.

 

[catalina_francisco]

When you put it like that, I'd be open to having a female slave. Something I'm super leery of.

You're one of maybe a handful I've ever met who prioritize being useful over being protected and reassured every possible way. This used to be my big bone to pick, and fundamentally what was such a huge honkin' turnoff to me in my bottom adventures initially. Yeah, I have a pussy, yeah I'm not made of glass, can we get over this and actually put me to work? Evidently not, no we could not. He kind of got it then, whereas other men didn't at all, but I had so much other mental noise at 26.

But I don't boil down to 1. fuckability and 2. vulnerability and I find that most people's idea of submission boils down to that.

My flavor with my Bull is different and more conventional now, I guess I found an exception to my rules. Fuckability and vulnerability loom large, but still aren't all that's going on. I've chilled out and changed so much. But I can mentally revisit those old frustrations in a heartbeat.

LOL, I never can get off on this helpless female (or even male for that matter) idea of that is what a slave should be. I guess in part it is my strong feminist backbone and also being brought up by a mother who though she gave mixed messages in terms of gender roles, also practiced what she preached in terms of getting things done. It was not always her choice, in fact she would have loved a man in her life who could and would take on all the responsibility and get things done, but my father was not like that and was very laid back and 'let;s do it tomorrow' sort of person, and oc course tomorrow often took a long time to come so my mother would just do it herself whether it be financial, physiacal, emotional etc.

My other driving force in terms of slaves being more about service than having their needs served comes partly from being educated by a few Doms in the early days of looking that it was not supposed to focus on what the slave wants/needs and their genitals, and also on the historical viewpoint that for the most part, slaves, even sex slaves, were there to serve in whatever way they were directed to, not be served. I think some get blurred on that a little when they think of harem type situations where the women were often on the surface spoiled and pampered, but the reason they were treated that way was to make sure they were able to be ultimately pleasing in their appearance and service to the Owner, not so they were given all they ever wanted and needed and treated as princesses, and then able to serve if they wanted.

Even in terms of Old South slavery, some slaves were abused, others were treated very well as they were seen as a financial asset to be looked after so as to not lose value. Many were also expected to fill positions of varying responsibility which may include overseeing other slaves, doing the accounts for the plantation or business of their Owner, running the household and making decisions in relation to that, especially if their Owner were away or unavailable to be consulted at every moment of the day...it was about maximising service in ways which fitted the Owner's needs, not the other way around. To me being a slave who is pampered and treated like some fragile ornament just does not work for me and seems to be a contradiction in terms of service and submission.

Catalina

 

[minx1]

No its not my thing either. I don't really know why...perhaps in the main, I just don't feel like a little girl. Though I would have no problem with him calling me baby...it would just never occur to me to call someone daddy. Then again I'm sure there are those who would think the same about me calling him Master.

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

I love the D/g dynamic but I couldn't do it 24/7. I'm sctually rethinking my position on this lifestyle in general 24/7 though. But D/g feels right sometimes so I go with the feeling.

 

[tanijaana]

Not a fem or a sub, but will chime in...

A lot of My style as a Dom is very Daddy... and right at this moment, our relationship is very D/g.

*slips back out of the thread*

*wonders how many other people besides herself were trying to flick the bug off the screen* HAHAHA

 

[Netzach]

Haha, everyone's welcome, I just figured with 4 threads rhapsodizing about Daddy/girl it might be cool to explore other archetypes.

 

[subtleone]

No I just can't call him Daddy!
Well actually that's not strictly true, he is Daddy, to our children so therefore it just would be completely unsavoury (in my head) for me to call him Daddy in any other sense but that one.
However I do see how the D/g dynamic is appealing, especially if the sub is a vulnerable person who is seeking protection.
Funnily though; Sir does call me his baby when he is feeling major emotion towards me and needs to verbalise it - so I know when I'm his Baby all is very, very good! But I feel at this time it is Babe baby not child baby.

 

[nh23]

I'm not in a D/g relationship either. Ageplay is one of my hard limits due to events in childhood. It would freak me out to call him Daddy. Ours is D/s, I'm not judging those in D/g relationships. Just not something I could do.

 

[subfem1963]

No i could never call him Daddy, I already have my biological dad, who i love and respect far to much to call another Daddy.
I also dont judge those who are in a D/g relationship, its just something i personally could not do myself.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Yes 'one size fits all' was what I meant. Would you follow me around and fix all of my typos please?

I wasn't fixing a typo. I was making your post fit for me. LOL

 

[northwoods_sub]

As subtleone stated I just can't bring myself to call him Daddy in that way because he is the father to our children, so I refer to him on a daily basis as daddy to our 5 yearold. It would be really creepy for me to call him daddy in our D/s relationship.

In general I don't see the draw; for myself; to the D/g relationship. I am a strong, intelligent woman who doesn't need a "daddy" to take care of me.

(not that there is anything wrong with those who are a part of that dynamic)

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Not into it here. My Dom is either "My Lord" or "Sire".

 

[JMohegan]

Ok, a quick rundown of people NOT into a D/g thing.

My switching ass represents.

Anyone?

Casting a proxy vote on behalf of the women who have submitted to me.

I have never been interested in D/g, and none of my former partners have moved on to that dynamic.

 

[the captians wench]

I'm not really a daddy's girl type of pyl either. I tend to lean more towards the M/s range, but I do enjoy being a pampered pet at times. Now I call myself the "baby girl" all the time, and wear pig tails and all that, but it's not really because of any relationship tendencies, it's more because I just have a bubbly personality that I like to emphisize just a tad more.

For me, making him happy is my life's dream. If that means that to make him happy, I need to allow him to pamper me from time to time, then that's a treat for me, on the same token, if he decides that he'd rather be spoiled himself, then I'm more than happy to bend over backwards to pamper him.

 

[ecstaticsub]

As subtleone stated I just can't bring myself to call him Daddy in that way because he is the father to our children, so I refer to him on a daily basis as daddy to our 5 yearold. It would be really creepy for me to call him daddy in our D/s relationship.

In general I don't see the draw; for myself; to the D/g relationship. I am a strong, intelligent woman who doesn't need a "daddy" to take care of me.

(not that there is anything wrong with those who are a part of that dynamic)

I consider myself to be a strong intelligent woman also. But there is nothing weak about occasionally liking someone to remind me to take care of myself, some one who is concerned that I make it home late at night after work, someone who worries about me when I am sick.

I would agree that if the father of my children was my Dom I might have more of a problem calling him "Daddy". I guess for me, the terms "Daddy" and when he calls me "Baby" are more just terms of endearment than defining our relationship dynamics.

 

[Netzach]

ecstatic, it almost sounds like you mean Daddy in a leather Titular sense, rather than ageplay. I find those things separate stories.

 

[ecstaticsub]

ecstatic, it almost sounds like you mean Daddy in a leather Titular sense, rather than ageplay. I find those things separate stories.

It is definitely not ageplay. I am not sure what a leather Titular sense is so I can't comment on that.

 

[northwoods_sub]

I consider myself to be a strong intelligent woman also. But there is nothing weak about occasionally liking someone to remind me to take care of myself, some one who is concerned that I make it home late at night after work, someone who worries about me when I am sick.

I would agree that if the father of my children was my Dom I might have more of a problem calling him "Daddy". I guess for me, the terms "Daddy" and when he calls me "Baby" are more just terms of endearment than defining our relationship dynamics.

I am very sorry if it seemed that I was implying that you were not intelligent to be in that dynamic, that was not my intent.

I was just stating what works or in this case doesn't work for me.

I am blessed enough that my Dom is my husband, I know that not everyone has that possibility and we were married before we began D/s. So even though he is my Dom he babies me a great deal when I am ill and I love when he does that, but it is not something I would want on a day to day basis from him. I prefer my men to be a bit more aloof to my needs and make me work to get his attention and appreciation. That is just how I work, I wouldn't expect anyone else to feel the same way as I do.

 

[Netzach]

It is definitely not ageplay. I am not sure what a leather Titular sense is so I can't comment on that.

Oh, I guess I mean in organized leather you'll find things like "Daddy Bruce, Daddy Amy" which doesn't necessarily mean that person's kinked toward ageplay (or not) , more that they're a top who doesn't really identify with "Master". It's more often in the gay scene, but not exclusively, you'll find Daddies with gender girls. But it's not the same as a lot of the D/g I think people are talking about here.

 

[graceanne]

Our is not a D/g relationship, nor will it ever be. Quite frankly it hits my *squick* button, and I'm pretty sure it would his too.

Why? I'm not sure. I didn't really have a father figure. My dad is one of the worlds most self asorbed people alive, and my step dad . . . well when he was around he was the closest thing to a father figure I was gonna get. I know that a lot of people into the D/g thing also didn't have father figures, and that's probably why they like D/g, but as we all know no one responds to things the same. I only associate bad things with my dad's, and I don't want to move those associations into my marriage.

Besides, I'm too independant. I get really cranky if I think K's trying to father me - we had issues like that when we first got married. I do not need to be told to go to bed, or brush my teeth, or wash my face, or change my clothes. Wanna suggest I do any of the above? Fine. Wanna remind me? Also ok, but I'm an adult and do not need a parent.