You know you're a Democrat when.....

[DevilishTexan]

I am a democrat.

I believe that every voice should count.

I belive that you can believe whatever the hell you want.

I believe that you can raise your family how you want, but not mine (gotta get a family for that statement to mean shit)

I believe that what someone else does in their own home is NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS

I believe that it is the AMERICAN WAY to help those in need. (remember the statue of liberty?)

I believe that it is because of my fellow democrats you can post here.

I believe that it is because of democrats like me, I will still be able to hear your voice.

I believe that AMERICA was founded by the radical left.

I believe that democrats will ensure that your children can read.

I believe that teaching you children to use a rubber is better than teaching them to use a coathanger.

these are my words. not someone else's. no one thinks for me.

Believe all you want; but it's lefty loon idiots like Dean, Pelosi, Kennedy, Clinton, Boxer, Schummer, and Durban the Turban that are slowly but surely destroying this country with their lies and rhetoric. Maybe if we had more level headed Dems like Barack Obama we'd be much better off.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

but i thought republicans were the best at hiding their illegal activities

Elmer Keith isn't the best at anything...

 

[Gekken]

Believe all you want; but it's lefty loon idiots like Dean, Pelosi, Kennedy, Clinton, Boxer, Schummer, and Durban the Turban that are slowly but surely destroying this country with their lies and rhetoric. Maybe if we had more level headed Dems like Barack Obama we'd be much better off.

I seem to remeber making a hell of alot more an hour under Clinton.

Kennedy? not a bad guy for the son of a gangster. didn't he have something to do with civil rights? or was that getting us to the moon? OH WAIT! wasn't he the one that put an end to McCarthy? OR wasn't he the one that made the economic footing for Vietnam possible. (even though it was a congressional commitee that took the money that his econimic plan made available)

Durban. not a lot of goosd to say about him. We'll put him next to Ascroft, shall we? no one can say ANYTHING good about him. except that he jogs.

 

[mrmgp]

Except for a few things here and there, it pretty accurately describes a few Democrats I know.

Anyone want to do a "You know you're a libertarian when. . ." thread?

 

[Purple Haze]

I found that on my own fuckface.

LOL! Say that out loud three times.

Retard...

 

[mrmgp]

an oldie, but it seems appropriate here

Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided
we're leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States
with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe
this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of
the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay!

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get
Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay
their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and
we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need
people to fight, ask your evangelicals.

They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's
caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs
turn up, but we're not willing ! to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue State s in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of
the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and
lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's
quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of
all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S.
low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and
Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92
percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90
percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually
100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,
Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you! .

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless
we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that
evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and
61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals
then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too.
You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,
Author Unknown in New California.

Red states have most of the nukes. Take out a few major blue-state cities which were primarily responsible for tilting the balance toward blue, and just about everything becomes red again.

 

[Purple Haze]

Just so you all know, there are no red states or blue states.

They're all purple.

Except Utah, Utah is red...

 

[Peregrinator]

Just so you all know, there are no red states or blue states.

They're all purple.

Except Utah, Utah is red...

I don't get it. What's with you and purple?

 

[Gekken]

Red states have most of the nukes. Take out a few major blue-state cities which were primarily responsible for tilting the balance toward blue, and just about everything becomes red again.

hehe, you've never seen the back lot of McChord AFB, have you? hope the sunscreen comes cheap. OH WAIT! proctor & gamble is in a blue city. too bad guys.

 

[mrmgp]

hehe, you've never seen the back lot of McChord AFB, have you? hope the sunscreen comes cheap. OH WAIT! proctor & gamble is in a blue city. too bad guys.

And what makes you think Blue states would keep what nukes they have? Liberals are such strong proponents of unilateral disarmament (remember the 1980s?) that they'll probably dismantle what nukes they have and believe that in doing so, they'll show the world that they mean no harm. They'll probably slash what military units they have, believing that armies are the primary source of war (when in reality it is politicians). They'll probably also implement strict gun bans, meaning that the population will be totally defenseless, and no real resistance groups can form. The Blue states will probably be run by strict environmentalists who will scrap industry since they will believe it will be bad for the environment, and therefore have little if any industrial base with which to wage war. By the time liberals turn the Blue states into their vision of socialist utopias, the Red states can probably conquer the whole kit and kaboodle with a few boy scout troops armed with sling shots and Swiss Army knives.

 

[Gekken]

And what makes you think Blue states would keep what nukes they have? Liberals are such strong proponents of unilateral disarmament (remember the 1980s?) that they'll probably dismantle what nukes they have and believe that in doing so, they'll show the world that they mean no harm. They'll probably slash what military units they have, believing that armies are the primary source of war (when in reality it is politicians). They'll probably also implement strict gun bans, meaning that the population will be totally defenseless, and no real resistance groups can form. The Blue states will probably be run by strict environmentalists who will scrap industry since they will believe it will be bad for the environment, and therefore have little if any industrial base with which to wage war. By the time liberals turn the Blue states into their vision of socialist utopias, the Red states can probably conquer the whole kit and kaboodle with a few boy scout troops armed with sling shots and Swiss Army knives.

but at least your boyscouts will not be gay.

believe in jesus!

 

[mrmgp]

but at least your boyscouts will not be gay.

You make that sound like a bad thing!

believe in jesus!

Can't do it. I'm an avowed atheist. Come to think of it, that would suck being an atheist in a Red state. Fucking bible thumpers will probably forget all about the separation of Church and State. Oh, well. They'll probably still uphold the four things that keep me voting Republican ( 1) respect for the Second Amendment--without an armed citizenry to defend its rights from an oppressive government, the rest of the Bill of Rights isn't worth the paper it's written on, 2) lower taxes, 3) a strong national defense, and 4) a tougher stance on crime).

 

[Gekken]

You make that sound like a bad thing!



Can't do it. I'm an avowed atheist. Come to think of it, that would suck being an atheist in a Red state. Fucking bible thumpers will probably forget all about the separation of Church and State. Oh, well. They'll probably still uphold the four things that keep me voting Republican ( 1) respect for the Second Amendment--without an armed citizenry to defend its rights from an oppressive government, the rest of the Bill of Rights isn't worth the paper it's written on, 2) lower taxes, 3) a strong national defense, and 4) a tougher stance on crime).

what's wrong with gay people? what makes them bad little boyscouts? can't they tie knots and be annoying at little old ladies?

1) I was an army medic. I hate guns. I hate them so much, seeing cops carry guns actually pisses me off. but, I fought and bled to defend the bill of rights. all of them. not just the ones I like.

2) lowering taxes is a hoax. I am single. I am educated. I make a decent living. lowering taxes? HA! only the richest 6.3% of the population will ever see shit. my taxes went UP! hehe. I also run a small business. don't talk to me about taxes.

3) defense? OK. Offense? get fucked. see #1

4) a tougher stance on crime is ridiculous. my mother is the PA at a local prison. fifty-something percent of the inmates are there on pot charges. please. it cost ME, a TAXPAYER 37,500 per annum PER PERSON to house a healthy inmate, assuming he does not take advantage of the educational resources or healthcare available to him. this prison houses almost 17, 000 inmates. call it 8000 potheads. that is almost 300 million a year. five kids stole my car. it was destroyed. they got one year probation, and because they were found guilty, my insurance WON'T cover it. (because of some weird federal law that states I have to go after them civilly first)

crime my ass. until the republicans really understand the nature of crime, it's just concentration camps and jackboots.

 

[Feeblor]

I read till

You believe homosexuality is genetically determined, but fascism and spouse abuse aren't.

And got utterly confused. Fascism is genetically determined? So is spouse abuse? What?

 

[spacekowboy]

I am a democrat. But I am much more centrist than my brethren.

I beleive in the first ammendment.

I beleive that everyone is equal and should be treated as such .

I beleive that america was founded on non conservative beleifs . If Samuel Adams didn't want to circumvent taxes on the rum he was smuggling , we would still be under the union jack.

I beleive that labor unions are the only protection a wage earner has .

I beleive that NAFTA was a colossally bad idea

I beleive the war on drugs is a joke

I beleive the war in Iraq IS the wrong war , At the wrong time , For the wrong reason.

I beleive in Roe v. Wade

I beleive in the Death penalty .. I'd go back to hangings on the courthouse lawn if it were up to me.

But I am also in favor of mandatory DNA testing in every single capitol punishment case .

I am in favor of universal health care

I am in favor of saving our forests and cleaning up our air .

I do think Jimmy Carter was someone who actually tried to do what he said. I think Reagun was a puppet.

I think Bill Clinton was NOT as great a president as he has been made out to be.

I beleive the president can get blown by anyone he sees fit . And he doesn't deserve to be impeached because of it .

I DO NOT beleive in gun control.

I beleive America needs to realize we are not the world's policemen . And i beleive we need to quit swinging our dick around the planet . We also need to quit telling everyone "We're the greatest fuckers here! You all would be nothing without us!" Even if it is true .

I could CARE LESS about gay marriage.

I Beleive we don't need to send our troops off to war , if we can't keep them off of food stamps here in the states.

I beleive Halliburton IS the executive branch of the government.

I beleive that Janet Jackson's titty was not the worst thing to ever be broadcast. That honor rests squarely with Jerry Springer.

I beleive in anyone's right to disagree with me. And their ability to voice the fact that they think i'm a prick

I beleive that we not only have the right , but the obligation to dismantle this government and start anew when things don't work any longer .

I beleive in the constitution, which means I beleive in the ACLU.

I beleive our civil liberties ARE what makes our country great.

And i beleive that there are powers at work to rob us of those civil liberties.