❓ PLP Inquires II ❓

[Dribble]

08.20.21

Are you a "forgive and forget" type of person? Or do you hold grudges? Some mixture of the two?

Grudges? I wouldn't call them that. Grudges to me infers payback and if you pissed me off that much I just cut you out of my life. Forgiveness? Yes...I do that very easily if the right words are said with honesty behind them. Sorry is a shit word. It means I want this to pass. Saying "I was wrong to say that" means so much more.

People come and people go. I was with my first wife 15 years...it has been another 17 since we broke up. I couldn't even tell you her birthday anymore. That is not a criticism...she is a great person...it is just life moves on and the paths we chose are in opposite directions.

 

[AveryElle]

08.20.21

Are you a "forgive and forget" type of person? Or do you hold grudges? Some mixture of the two?

I hold grudges. Fuck with me, I’ll never forget. I can’t forgive certain behavior.

 

[Xerxes82]

08.20.21

Are you a "forgive and forget" type of person? Or do you hold grudges? Some mixture of the two?

I try to be. I don't always succeed.

As a younger man I had problems with anger and letting go. I was prideful and held grudges because of my own insecurity. I've learned to leave the worst of that behind me. But I still spark off and need to walk away, breathe and find a place to work out how important, if at all, it is to me. Usually it isn't. Try to let it slide and move on.

Life is too short to pick fights. Most of the time.

 

[Azuldrgon]

08.20.21

Are you a "forgive and forget" type of person? Or do you hold grudges? Some mixture of the two?

I'm a mixture of the two depending on the situation.

 

[Karabare]

08.20.21

Are you a "forgive and forget" type of person? Or do you hold grudges? Some mixture of the two?

Not really forgive, but definitely forget. I don't bother with a grudge. They're no longer worth my time.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

09.02.21

How many chances to you give something/someone before you come to a firm conclusion? Does one bad experience with a restaurant/food mean you'll never try it again? Does a person's bad first impression stick? Or do you give too many chances? How likely are you to change your mind once you've made it up about something?

 

[BadAmy]

09.02.21

How many chances to you give something/someone before you come to a firm conclusion? Does one bad experience with a restaurant/food mean you'll never try it again? Does a person's bad first impression stick? Or do you give too many chances? How likely are you to change your mind once you've made it up about something?

I can change my mind. Depends on the circumstances and the person.
Like, a bad meal at my favorite restaurant? I'd still go back because the good ones outweigh the bad.
Discovering a miscommunication which leads to assumptions? That is a game changer too. Because once the air is cleared, aside from feeling like an ass, it feels like a fresh start.
Someone being abusive to me? Physically, mentally, without my consent?
That's a One way charlie.
There are only so many shots I can take.

 

[Orchidea73]

Little point holding grudges, I don't have the energy for it.
I'm a forgive-but-probably-just-avoid-you-in-the-future type person.

This is it for me too.

09.02.21

How many chances to you give something/someone before you come to a firm conclusion? Does one bad experience with a restaurant/food mean you'll never try it again? Does a person's bad first impression stick? Or do you give too many chances? How likely are you to change your mind once you've made it up about something?

People: two chances, sometimes.
Restaurants: one.

And yes, my mind is made and is unlikely to change. Unless people really show me - with actions and they have to sweat it - they have changed.

 

[AveryElle]

09.02.21

How many chances to you give something/someone before you come to a firm conclusion? Does one bad experience with a restaurant/food mean you'll never try it again? Does a person's bad first impression stick? Or do you give too many chances? How likely are you to change your mind once you've made it up about something?

What's the saying? When people show you who they are, believe them? There are people who instantly rub me the wrong way and there are people who eventually show their spots. And once I've got that feeling, I have a hard time changing my opinion on people because people generally suck.

Similarly, I'm easy to let go of friends who disappoint me one too many times and never look back. With a business, which definitely depends on many factors for how they're received by a consumer, I will try again with the caveat that a few businesses I wanted to support have shown themselves to be absolute asses during the pandemic so I'll never give them my business and my mind is very firm on that. Same with a few that I had written off who turned out to be stewards of public safety and responsible employers (paid people while closed, for example) that I'm making an effort to support now even if I hadn't been thrilled with their product in the past. So I'm clearly willing to change my opinion when a business gives me a reason to.

I'm an ox. A cold, cold ox.

 

[AmberLGreen]

09.02.21

How many chances to you give something/someone before you come to a firm conclusion? Does one bad experience with a restaurant/food mean you'll never try it again? Does a person's bad first impression stick? Or do you give too many chances? How likely are you to change your mind once you've made it up about something?

I am a chance giver.

With businesses, there can be reasons out of their control as to why something isn’t right on that particular day. I will give them several chances before I stop using them. I don’t post negative reviews about them.

With people, I will always give chance after chance. We all make mistakes and poor choices in life. It doesn’t make people bad. The only thing that stops me giving them chances is lying. Don’t lie to me.

With relationships I will give one chance. If you have done something and know that it has hurt me then don’t do it again. If you do there is no turning back.

Once my mind is made up, it would take a lot to change it.

 

[falkor207]

09.02.21

How many chances to you give something/someone before you come to a firm conclusion? Does one bad experience with a restaurant/food mean you'll never try it again? Does a person's bad first impression stick? Or do you give too many chances? How likely are you to change your mind once you've made it up about something?

With people I already know twice is generally the limit. With a restaurant, that's harder. If they're newly opened I might give a 2nd chance, depends on if it was a food or service issue. First impressions are important and if someone doesn't make a good one I'm likely to move on. I'm older, I'm not totally set in my ways, but there has to fact or really strong evidence to change my opinion/belief

 

[Azuldrgon]

09.02.21

How many chances to you give something/someone before you come to a firm conclusion? Does one bad experience with a restaurant/food mean you'll never try it again? Does a person's bad first impression stick? Or do you give too many chances? How likely are you to change your mind once you've made it up about something?

It depends. When it comes to restaurants, it depends on what made the experience bad. When it comes to people, I might give them a second chance before changing how I deal with them.

 

[Dribble]

Don't you just hate it when you lose a day? Or maybe it is a good thing cause you get a 2nd chance at 9/2/21?

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

09.20.21

How good are you at establishing and abiding by your own personal boundaries? Do you consciously create boundaries at all? Are you proactive (just in case a situation arises) or are you reactive (if this ever happens again)? Who is most likely to test your boundaries? Children? Family? Friends?
Are there situations where you with you had more boundaries in place? Do certain events (i.e. grief, anger, falling in love) make you throw all boundaries out the window? Have I said boundaries enough?

 

[Orchidea73]

09.20.21

How good are you at establishing and abiding by your own personal boundaries?

I'm pretty good with both. I'm sensitive to the subject and try to be aware as much as I can. Not only in establishing them for myself but also respect other's personal boundaries and not overstep them. If I don't know people well, I would also ask if I went a little too far or not.

Do you consciously create boundaries at all?

Yes, I do. Personal boundaries are good. Without them, we run the risk of confusing our needs and wants with others. Without setting strong personal boundaries, we will not be able to enjoy a healthy relationship, be that with friends, family etc. As we say here "patti chiari amicizia lunga." Meaning, clear agreements long friendship.

Are you proactive (just in case a situation arises) or are you reactive (if this ever happens again)?

I'm not sure I understand this question well. You mean, if someone overstep them?

Who is most likely to test your boundaries? Children? Family? Friends?

I don't have children, so I would say family and friends. But rarely so, if truth be told. As I said, I pretty good with setting them and they generally have been good at respecting them. It's more likely to happen with new acquaintances. And even in those cases, is more likely to happen online than in RL, for obvious reason.

Are there situations where you with you had more boundaries in place?

Yes, online.

Do certain events (i.e. grief, anger, falling in love) make you throw all boundaries out the window?

Rarely.

Have I said boundaries enough?

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

10.09.21. (Submitted)


Fantasies.
Everyone has their own.
Some involve your partner ("I've always dreamed of fucking you on a hotel balcony where everyone can see us").

And others are about someone else ("I've always dreamed of fucking Snow White/Data from Star Trek Next Generation/Aragorn from LOTR/Princess Leia/the team's star quarterback/the captain of the cheer squad, so could you dress up and do that for me?")

Do you enjoy fulfilling a partner's fantasies? Do you find one of these types of fantasy more fun/easier than the other?

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

10.09.21. (Submitted)


Fantasies.
Everyone has their own.
Some involve your partner ("I've always dreamed of fucking you on a hotel balcony where everyone can see us").

And others are about someone else ("I've always dreamed of fucking Snow White/Data from Star Trek Next Generation/Aragorn from LOTR/Princess Leia/the team's star quarterback/the captain of the cheer squad, so could you dress up and do that for me?")

Do you enjoy fulfilling a partner's fantasies? Do you find one of these types of fantasy more fun/easier than the other?

I would like to believe that if I could ever fulfill someones fantasy, I would be happy to do it. I don't have many limits.

 

[RideFl71]

10.09.21. (Submitted)


Fantasies.
Everyone has their own.
Some involve your partner ("I've always dreamed of fucking you on a hotel balcony where everyone can see us").

And others are about someone else ("I've always dreamed of fucking Snow White/Data from Star Trek Next Generation/Aragorn from LOTR/Princess Leia/the team's star quarterback/the captain of the cheer squad, so could you dress up and do that for me?")

Do you enjoy fulfilling a partner's fantasies? Do you find one of these types of fantasy more fun/easier than the other?

I think everyone does or has.

I have many fantasies but.... it seems it's hard to find someone to fulfill them.
Maybe that's why they're called fantasies. One can dream.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

10.20.21

I'm slacking on questions!

How able are you to engage in a conversation with opposing opinions without getting emotional? Are you cold and logical or can you just not help feeling passionate about your opinion? Do you like hearing differing opinions or do you feel defensive when someone disagrees? Do you feel like you've ever accomplish what you want during a civil debate?

 

[cheekygirl75]

10.20.21

I'm slacking on questions!

How able are you to engage in a conversation with opposing opinions without getting emotional? Are you cold and logical or can you just not help feeling passionate about your opinion? Do you like hearing differing opinions or do you feel defensive when someone disagrees? Do you feel like you've ever accomplish what you want during a civil debate?

I think it depends on how strong my opinion of the topic is, and how much it affects people's lives. If I'm having a conversation with someone about something that could hurt or even get others killed, yeah, I'm going to be pretty emotional, especially if the person I'm talking to is denying that people could be hurt.

If, however, I think the person I'm talking to is open to hearing an opposing opinion about something I think is really important, I'm better at being less emotional and more able to present my side. Or if it's something that I don't care much about, then there's no problem, even though I might pretend to be emotional about it just for fun.

I try not to get defensive when someone disagrees, but again, how capable I am at that depends on how important I think the topic is. I think I'm better able now to listen to someone who has obviously thought about a topic, more and more as I get older. But I think I'm also more able to spot those who are just parroting what they've been told, without doing their own critique of it, and those I don't get defensive with, I just don't bother with.

 

[Wand3rlust]

10.20.21

I'm slacking on questions!

How able are you to engage in a conversation with opposing opinions without getting emotional? Are you cold and logical or can you just not help feeling passionate about your opinion? Do you like hearing differing opinions or do you feel defensive when someone disagrees? Do you feel like you've ever accomplish what you want during a civil debate?

I can debate quite well with someone with opposing opinions, as long as they are working to the same... 'rules' as me.
If I feel 8m not being taken seriously, or ridiculed, or not show the same curtesy that I have shown them, then I get angry.
And to my continued annoyance, when I get angry, I get upset. And sometimes cry.
And it fucks me off. Cos I don't want it to be perceived as weakness. Because I'm not that.
I am confident enough in my own opinions to be able to accept differing points of view. I am also not to entrenched that I cannot listen to opposing view points.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

10.20.21

I'm slacking on questions!

How able are you to engage in a conversation with opposing opinions without getting emotional? Are you cold and logical or can you just not help feeling passionate about your opinion? Do you like hearing differing opinions or do you feel defensive when someone disagrees? Do you feel like you've ever accomplish what you want during a civil debate?

I don't think I can answer this question in a vacuum. On the one hand, I am somewhat reserved and prefer to remain respectful when there's healthy disagreement. On the other hand, I can absolutely get my dander up when things get personal, and I'm very passionate about my beliefs. On the other other hand, a local town council race has recently been roiled by something called the Lawn Pooping Incident, so really what I'm saying is that everything's relative.

 

[AmberLGreen]

10.20.21

I'm slacking on questions!

How able are you to engage in a conversation with opposing opinions without getting emotional? Are you cold and logical or can you just not help feeling passionate about your opinion? Do you like hearing differing opinions or do you feel defensive when someone disagrees? Do you feel like you've ever accomplish what you want during a civil debate?

It depends on how strongly I feel on the topic. I think I can engage well and discuss without getting abusive or personal. It also depends on the person that I am debating with. If it is somebody who normally rubs me up the wrong way, then my interaction may be with short, sharp responses. If it is with somebody who I converse well with then the discussion my become quite deep.

I am quite logical and the only thing that makes me become irrational is having my opinion dismissed in that “whatever” kind of way. I would prefer somebody to say “we have to agree to disagree”. It is a more respectful way to end things.

I like hearing differences of opinion. Having differences is what challenges our thinking. We learn and grow from it.

What is there to accomplish from a debate? Unless you know what you want at the start of it, then there is nothing to accomplish. How do you measure that. I think I accomplish something if I take something away from it. A new perspective, a new idea, a new challenge for myself.

 

[Orchidea73]

10.20.21

I'm slacking on questions!

How able are you to engage in a conversation with opposing opinions without getting emotional? Are you cold and logical or can you just not help feeling passionate about your opinion? Do you like hearing differing opinions or do you feel defensive when someone disagrees? Do you feel like you've ever accomplish what you want during a civil debate?

I'm passionate, cool headed and logical. Allo of them.
I love debating and discussing with people holding all sorts of opinions. Just not online. I don't have the energy for that. I get bored and I lazy pretty fast with that kind of interactions. Look me in the eyes, hear my voice, let's share a bottle of wine and we can discuss about anything, all night long.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

10.20.21

I'm slacking on questions!

How able are you to engage in a conversation with opposing opinions without getting emotional? Are you cold and logical or can you just not help feeling passionate about your opinion? Do you like hearing differing opinions or do you feel defensive when someone disagrees? Do you feel like you've ever accomplish what you want during a civil debate?

My whole life I was told I wasn't emotional enough. Being raised by an incredibly emotionally volatile person taught me to shut that down during a conversation of opposing views. So, I think I can come off kind of cold in an argument. I like to communicate my point as clearly as possible so you'll usually get bullet points and introspection from me.

I like hearing opposite views and find it so attractive when someone can make me second guess my own thoughts. Like, whoa, ok! You just blew my mind! But I struggle when I'm talking to someone who is pure emotion because 1. I feel like I easily offend them without trying to and 2. They don't listen to me at the same level that I'm listening to them. Half the time I don't even know tensions are high until it's too late because I'm over here making a list . I need to work on that.

I don't think the goal of a debate or discussion is to win but have a better understanding of someone else's thoughts - what they think and why they think that way. I expect the same respect and open mind I try to give.