❓ PLP Inquires II ❓

[PrettyLilPussy19]

08.31.22

Let's talk about male/female platonic relationships. That is to say a relationship with zero sexual or romantic overtones. Do you believe they are possible? Do you have any? What keeps a person in one zone? How do you feel when/if your partner has an opposite sex platonic friend?
(This question is super heteronormative and we can get lost in many avenues of friendship v romance no matter the gender but I'm trying to keep it as simple as possible.)

I've always had more male friends. Honestly, it's not been until Lit that I've had more than a handful of girl friends. My partners have always had lots of platonic friends. They are totally possible and they've always just firmly fallen in that category. I've had flirty or sexually tense friends but those (aren't the same) tend not to last as long. The only issue I've ever had is with my male friends partners. Everyone believes in platonic friendships until their bf/gf finds themselves with a close one and then ... chaos. That part sucks.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

09.03.22

What's the biggest red flag you've ever missed?

 

[Apisto42]

“She” never would voice. So I’m pretty sure “she” was a “he”. I was young at my first rodeo.

 

[Orchidea73]

09.03.22

What's the biggest red flag you've ever missed?

On Lit? The usual shit. lol

 

[Dribble]

09.03.22

What's the biggest red flag you've ever missed?

He opened our 12-step meetings. He always seemed to have the exact right thing to say. He was the person to ask if you had a question about the Steps. Then we heard he OD'd and died. In hindsight...all the signs were there. Just none of us understood what we were witnessing.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

09.03.22

What's the biggest red flag you've ever missed?

"All my exes hate me."


Anyone that only wants to gossip. If they are talking about them, they are talking about you.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

09.03.22

What's the biggest red flag you've ever missed?

I was in eastern Europe in the early 90's, just after the fall of the Soviet Union. So I guess this is the biggest red flag I missed:
View attachment 2174312

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Ooooooh! Who do you mean?

I could name 8 different people.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

*pulls PLP away to get the gossip research indiscreet Litsters for science

Look I'm not saying never gossip. I'm just saying let's also talk about boobs and butts too!

 

[Apisto42]

Look I'm not saying never gossip. I'm just saying let's also talk about boobs and butts too!

Boobs and butts are safe. Talking about others is some dangerous shit.

Unless you’re just doing due diligence. That’s important.

 

[Orchidea73]

"All my exes hate me."


Anyone that only wants to gossip. If they are talking about them, they are talking about you.

There was someone who spoke ill about a woman he was e-nailing for years.
He thought that by doing so he was getting in my good graces. I said nothing but I registered that in my brain. I thought if he was speaking like this about someone he has known for years, imagine what he would vomit about me.

The interesting thing is that I could see this woman making grand statement about how much he "adored" her. I would've laughed if I didn't thought it was kinda sad and pathetic.

 

[AveryElle]

09.03.22

What's the biggest red flag you've ever missed?

Missed? None. Overlooked?
They were women who were just bad friends to their girlfriends. I’m very guarded with new relationships but knowing how some women treat their female friends has made me extra cautious to ever add another to my close circle. On Lit and in the real world. Especially on Lit, tho.

 

[Azuldrgon]

someone who is too nosey about personal stuff, like wanting to check your phone.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Real life lesson, but, in my opinion, holds true everywhere, including Lit. I am not against all red flags, I’ve taken risks many people wouldn’t, and did so very successfully by reading flags, knowing what I could accept, what I could mitigate, and knowing when to walk. I haven’t missed a flag that really mattered to me since I was 15 but this one bit me back then. I was slow on the uptake, and while all is well that ends well, my failure drilled it home because it left me wandering alone, in the dark, freezing, in an unknown area, in a mysteriously incapacitated state, and really pissed, because there were 3 occasions when I should have seen and walked earlier. Three times I laid a clear boundary, justified that boundary with a logical reason when questioned (personal safety rules), and let a guy talk around them by being charming, nice, and making me feel like I was being excessive, even rude.

My red flag failure is when a boundary is clearly stated and someone tries to usurp it, no matter the boundary, no matter how they attempt…. geniality, gaslighting, whatever, it is time to walk, end of story, as this is a giant neon flashing red flag they do not respect you, will continue to not, and it will just end with wanting to stab them with a rusty spork.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

My problem isn't missing red flags. It's more that I tend to see them when they aren't actually there!

So, I am curious in person, lit, or both? and what flags do you interpret that aren't really there?

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

When I first joined Lit, I had a few months where people I really thought would be trustworthy kept proving not to be, in various ways.

I'll chat a little with pretty much anyone who isn't a self-evident cockwomble or douche canoe. But I'm probably overly cautious about letting that develop into a stronger friendship, especially if I get the sense that a person might overshare my personal stuff with others. And I'm sure that what looks to me like a red flag that someone isn't trustworthy often isn't really, but I lack the discrimination to be sure.

I thought self evident cockwomble was our thing????

 

[Booboobear84]

"All my exes hate me."


Anyone that only wants to gossip. If they are talking about them, they are talking about you.

Absolutely

 

[Dribble]

Edit....fucking phone

 

[Dribble]

Boobs and butts are safe. Talking about others is some dangerous shit.

Unless you’re just doing due diligence. That’s important.

It sucks getting old. If I am not reminded of what your boobs and butt look like I forget. All I know is they must have been something I liked cause I sure don't show up here for gossip...but I do show up for the hope of finding heaven again

 

[Dribble]

See...i did it again...I was supposed to have quoted PLP. All these new site updates suck. Sucks getting old

 

[Booboobear84]

I was in eastern Europe in the early 90's, just after the fall of the Soviet Union. So I guess this is the biggest red flag I missed:
View attachment 2174312

I don’t miss it at all. Sadly things haven’t improved in Russia they still have tsar just as they did under the communists and of course before the communists.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

I don’t miss it at all. Sadly things haven’t improved in Russia they still have tsar just as they did under the communists and of course before the communists.

I meant "missed" it as in, I wasn't around for it. It's not exactly something I'm nostalgic for.

 

[AveryElle]

So, I am curious in person, lit, or both? and what flags do you interpret that aren't really there?

My red flag on lit is people whose partners don’t know anything shiny their extracurricular activities. It has shown me that people have a specific lit persona and a persona in their outward relationships. To me, it’s inauthentic and not what I want to be a part of. Your partner doesn’t have to be ON lit, or even know you’re on lit. But knowing you’re into kink, or knowing you play with others, is important to be. Because if they’ll lie to their partner, they’ll lie to me. YMMV. But I’m an old lady and don’t want to be part of it at this point in my life.

 

[AveryElle]

See...i did it again...I was supposed to have quoted PLP. All these new site updates suck. Sucks getting old

That’s why we have kids. To have them help with tech support. ‘Son, help me figure out my porn site!’

 

[Dribble]

That’s why we have kids. To have them help with tech support. ‘Son, help me figure out my porn site!’

All I want to see is boobs and butt. Is it too much to ask for?