tnman03
Rustic rapscallion
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- Jan 19, 2015
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❓ PLP Inquires II ❓
- Thread starter PrettyLilPussy19
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Orchidea73
Adaneth, I am!
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2020
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- 26,833
Complaining all the time. Nothing is good. She's never good. There is always something bad going. Always suffering for this or that. Always down. Always "me". It sucks the energy out of anybody and it's exhausting.
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Paul_Chance
The Watcher
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- Dec 23, 2011
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- 22,476
I've got a friend who is excessively contrary. No matter what you say, no matter how trivial or innocuous his first comment is exactly the opposite. "It's beautiful morning." "No, it's not - the sky's too blue." It's a family trait from his parents and siblings. I'd sure hate to approach the day that way, constantly peering for something to disagree with.
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Deleted member 3041612
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Always promising something or bragging about how good I am and not delivering on what is really important and NEEDED.
Always claiming others don’t do what is necessary but refuses to take the lead for what is right. There’s always negative commentary about how others should respond when they, themselves, failed miserably when put to the task of doing.
I can go on, but I’d sound bitter complaining, more than what I already sound like.
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Whiskeyjack
The Nappening
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2005
- Posts
- 15,334
That there's a fine line between having confidence and being insufferably smug. I hope to never cross that line. Also, no one is impressed when you're rude to retail and restaurant staff.
Both of those traits/behaviors are embodied by a relative I'm close to more by obligation than by choice.
beachbaby179
pearls go with everything
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
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- 31,555
The way they avoid conflict or difficult conversations by just ignoring the issue completely. It's hurtful.
ydahecnot
Sun of a gun
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- May 29, 2006
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- 50,182
PrettyLilPussy19
Busy Bee 🐝
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- Aug 13, 2018
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- 31,185
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NeonSubtlety
I'm a guy. I promise.
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- May 16, 2010
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I remember going to ‘take your x to work day’ with my dad. He was an engineer…not immediately despicable. No reason to hate it at inception. But he was working at the classic cubicle set up. Bright fluorescent lights. 6x6 spaces. And he was a man who always came home angry. So, I associated the two.
Probably to my detriment (as making lifelong credos at the age of 11 or 12 is a horrible idea), I told myself I’d never work in a place that made me unhappy. I’ve actually used that memory/promise in making some fairly big decisions. I’ve moved on from two jobs because of it.
So, I suppose the trait that I refuse to have is self-sacrifice. My father is a good man who made himself unhappy for way too long. I believe that self-sacrifice turned him into a bad man at times. I won’t do that.
Probably to my detriment (as making lifelong credos at the age of 11 or 12 is a horrible idea), I told myself I’d never work in a place that made me unhappy. I’ve actually used that memory/promise in making some fairly big decisions. I’ve moved on from two jobs because of it.
So, I suppose the trait that I refuse to have is self-sacrifice. My father is a good man who made himself unhappy for way too long. I believe that self-sacrifice turned him into a bad man at times. I won’t do that.
Dribble
Literotica Guru
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- Oct 13, 2007
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- 17,038
I had to think about this...I think it is less about "traits" and more about "morals". It is true...we see traits...characteristics...but aren't they just a mask for the real issues? Although, i have no place in my life for liars. But see...that's a moral issue isn't it?
Wild_Honey_66
sweet freak
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2014
- Posts
- 50,279
People not owning their shit, and willfully compromising their integrity and/or relationships out of a desire to avoid conflict.
FFS, just grow a pair already.
Azuldrgon
Her Squishy
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2005
- Posts
- 68,938
My dad was very opinionated. Sometimes he was so opinionated that he pushed people away with what he believed. I strive to make friends regardless of beliefs and such because sometimes you need to see everything.
liqiye
Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2020
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- 95
not accepting other person for who they are (maybe many will agree to this)
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BadAmy
Guest
people who feel obligated (especially when not prompted) to offer their opinion and suggestions, only to be pissed off if you don't follow their advice.
Because of this, I will only offer my advice when ASKED. Sometimes, people just want to vent, not seek answers, they just need someone to listen.
and...
narcissists and everything that goes with that. Come back to earth, your shit does in fact stink, like everybody elses.
https://giphy.com/clips/studiosoriginals-eyeroll-uWHELUuMBG5jPI6KJL
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BadAmy
Guest
*preening in mirror…Let me tell you what I think about that…
https://media.giphy.com/media/W7kbgn48OLsXu/giphy.gif
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BadAmy
Guest
bigtallman
Virgin
- Joined
- May 25, 2004
- Posts
- 679
Perfectionist, nothing was ever good enough, and there was never time to relax.
QuietCanadian
Still D.R.E.
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2016
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- 5,284
I don't think many character traits are inherently good or bad. Too much or too little certainly can be, but like many things, most are on a spectrum. Take arrogance and insecurity, I don't really want to be either of those things (though I definitely stray to insecurity), but they kind of reside on the self-confidence spectrum. If I see someone who I think is quite arrogant, I likely don't want to go to that level, but I would like to move in that direction on the spectrum from where I reside. And because I reside lower on the spectrum than I want, I might perceive some self confidence as arrogance (even though I would I agree there is a line between the two that I'd prefer not to cross myself).
TL;DR I mostly just want to work on setting my dials to the level of character trait I want to be, and it's less about "I never want to be like that."
Mei5ter
Literotica Nugu
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2018
- Posts
- 4,623
Believing that the point of a discussion is to convince the other person you're right, rather than to come up with the best answer.
Especially when this involves selective use of the truth, gaslighting, and bullying.
It's a waste of emotional energy, ends badly, and just becomes tiresome.
PrettyLilPussy19
Busy Bee 🐝
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2018
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- 31,185
I'm a big believer in learning how not to act by someone else's bad example. If something a friend does annoys , upsets, or hurts me, it always gives me the thought - well... this is not how I want to make other people feel.
So...
1. Playing the victim constantly. Shitty things happen to everyone and people are victims of horrible things. But the complacency to just be pitiful is... exhausting and off putting.
2. Always making a point to be the center of everything. I have two friends like this - they know everyone, heard it first, saw it happen, everyone loves them, respects them, desires them (in their minds anyway) and you can't convince them otherwise. There isn't room for anyone but them in the relationship and the only reason you are there is to add to the people they know and the things they get to be apart of. No Thank You.
3. Negative, miserable people who make other people miserable.
Ugh
So...
1. Playing the victim constantly. Shitty things happen to everyone and people are victims of horrible things. But the complacency to just be pitiful is... exhausting and off putting.
2. Always making a point to be the center of everything. I have two friends like this - they know everyone, heard it first, saw it happen, everyone loves them, respects them, desires them (in their minds anyway) and you can't convince them otherwise. There isn't room for anyone but them in the relationship and the only reason you are there is to add to the people they know and the things they get to be apart of. No Thank You.
3. Negative, miserable people who make other people miserable.
Ugh
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tnman03
Rustic rapscallion
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2015
- Posts
- 22,773
All excellent observations PLP and I couldn't have expressed this viewpoint any better as it's how I feel as well. Even the narcissistic friends remind me of people that Ive known.
AveryElle
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2017
- Posts
- 6,082
1) body police. The people who comment on everyone’s looks and weight and clothing. It’s their identifier for every person (‘Kathleen Turner is so fat now!’ ‘You know who I’m talking about! She lots weight and is beautiful now!’) . I promised myself I’d never be this way especially around my kids.
2) hypocrites/two faced people. People who don’t realize they preach (not just in a religious text! Could be here on lit or at work) the opposite of what they practice.
3) lastly, the social media validation seeker. I purged a lot and set everything to private when I realized how gross it was.
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