❓ PLP Inquires II ❓

[Azuldrgon]

Is there a difference between the spectrum of your fantasies and what you'd like to try (or have tried) in person? I am sure that for most people the whole point of fantasies is that they imagine what is out there in the darkness beyond our reality, so I'd expect fantasies to be darker. But it interests me that at least one of your 10s sits happily in my reality while at least one of your 5s feels harder than that for me. Luckily, taking the mean gives us a 7.5, and as that's under the 8 your comfortable experiencing with your person, I guess we can manage

My experience in kink has been limited.
I have discovered certain things I like, but can't do with my present partner.
I also have discovered things I don't like.
The key was being open to things and expressing what the definite no's were.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I think this is the crux. I wonder if others do exactly that, especially for things like non-consensual sex? It's a complicated thing to admit to liking, let alone to try exploring in person, but I get the sense it's a slightly guilty pleasure for more than one might think.

Oh I totally understand the CNC desire. But I think the first C is what makes it a 6 for me. Just the NC would either put it under roleplay (so still CNC) or keep it from my list. I think there is a difference between kink and trauma, pain and injury, and pretty bruises and scars. I think many people might agree? But hell, I've been wrong before.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

04.17.23


Sex Mosh Pits


Ok I promised an easier question but I lied. Sorry, take it up with HR.

How important is individuality to you? Do you like to believe and feel like you are unique in some way, either amongst the crowd or to a person specifically? Or are you happy to join in and be a part of the melting pot of people, where all your flavors mix? Do you feel like there are certain things that set you out amongst the crowd? How do you feel when someone else shows up with those same traits? When it comes to play, do you ry make your partners feel like an individual? How? Do you enjoy being absorbed into groups or are you constantly swimming against the flow?

 

[Whiskeyjack]

04.17.23


Sex Mosh Pits


Ok I promised an easier question but I lied. Sorry, take it up with HR.

How important is individuality to you? Do you like to believe and feel like you are unique in some way, either amongst the crowd or to a person specifically? Or are you happy to join in and be a part of the melting pot of people, where all your flavors mix? Do you feel like there are certain things that set you out amongst the crowd? How do you feel when someone else shows up with those same traits? When it comes to play, do you ry make your partners feel like an individual? How? Do you enjoy being absorbed into groups or are you constantly swimming against the flow?

For a question with the header, "Sex Mosh Pits," this doesn't sound like it necessarily has all that much to do with sex. But in general, I've been something of a loner all my life. Making friends has always been difficult, and then when I did make friends, it often felt like I was the expendable one of the friend group. So it's not something I put a lot of effort into. Through my whole life I can probably count 3 people as being friends I'd actually trust and could reasonably expect them to inconvenience themselves for me for something important. One of them is my wife and the other 2 live hundreds of miles away. So as much as I try to not stick out like a sore thumb, I've had to embrace individuality by default. Now, though, I'm at a point in my life where that's just not enough. I don't necessarily need lifetime ride-or-die boon companions - but it's nice to be part of a crowd sometimes. To know who your people are, to find them, and to be accepted by them. I've never actively tried to swim against the flow, but I'm starting to find a small undercurrent of other fish like me, and I like it. No idea if that answers your question at all. I completely missed the part about mosh pits.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I completely missed the part about mosh pits.

Click bait babyyyyy

 

[LadyLascivious1]

*snip* Now, there are things I've never been introduced to or things I think might fall outside what I feel comfortable with but when I have someone explain what they like about, why it's hot to them, I often can change my mind. Often, not always.

I’d have to think about my personal scale for a while to come up with a fully fleshed out version, but for me role playing, blood/feces, and illegal activities would be my 10s. And I’m very aware that role playing is very low on most people’s scale, but I just can’t do it. It feels awkward in a very unsexy way to me so it’s just a no go. And I have 1s and 2s that I consider very routine that shock some people

The above PLP comment resonated with me a lot though. I really like trying new things with partners I trust, so I think my scale changes significantly and fairly frequently. There are things I enjoy regularly with my person that I would only put at a 2 now that a year ago weren’t even on my radar and might have been a 6 or 7 to me. I had a completely unexpected encounter earlier this year that happened so organically with someone I really trust and I was frankly shocked how much I enjoyed exploring something I would have confidently sworn wasn’t anything I had any interest in at all.

Hearing what other other people like and why, can push my buttons deliciously. The closer I am to them, the higher up on my scale I’m willing (or eager) to flex with ease. Of course, some things still won’t be for me, but exploring and playing together almost feels like it’s own kink and one I love.

 

[StillRain]

I’m not sure I’d ever find a mosh pit I would want to dwell in for any extended length of time.

I don’t believe I’m especially unique. I think I have my own quirks and flavour (Just like everyone else). I don’t think my flavour stands out more than any one else’s and I prefer it like that.

What I DO feel perhaps makes me different, or an odd one out, is that I don’t blend or fit in as well as others appear to. This always sparks my curiosity when I see a newbie join Lit, for example, and they immediately just blend right on in. It’s a curious watch for me. It’s really a fun and enjoyable experience and I get a real people watching kick out of it in a “aaah well that’s how normals do it kinda way.” I’ve gone off on a bit of tangent because I’m not sure that was specific to the questions you asked, but perhaps so because yes I enjoy when others bring their flavours to the table!

I like my partners to feel comfortable, safe and wanted. To know that when they are with me they can be exactly who they are sexually, emotionally and physically. That’s where the real sexy time magic happens.

 

[Dalelaw2164]

for my pleasure i’m probably in the 3-4 range per your scale. my needs and satisfaction just don’t require too much kink. for my partner, i can operate up in maybe the 7 level if that’s what she needs/wants to be happy and satisfied. however, i’m definitely not interested in going to 10 or probably even 9.

This nails it for me as well.
To clumsily paraphrase Terry Pratchett, he remarked once in one of his many footnotes in one of his many books- people think they want the five course meal variety of sex with the flaming dish somewhere in the middle… but at the end of the day they’re perfectly happy with a plate of fish and chips

 

[Dribble]

The chameleon always gets laid. But if she has any brain cells, you will ultimately be asked to show more than just the peacock strut...and you can't get away from this reality. Way easier to just be yourself and not get laid by those that don't matter.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

04.17.23


Sex Mosh Pits


Ok I promised an easier question but I lied. Sorry, take it up with HR.

Well fuck, these are way more difficult. Who is HR? Is he cute? Not sure I am hearing much of the sex mosh pit either. IDK, maybe it needs music.

How important is individuality to you?

Depends, sometimes it is very important. Sometimes I know I am unique, just like everyone else, and in the end it doesn't matter.

Do you like to believe and feel like you are unique in some way, either amongst the crowd or to a person specifically?

I do think I often do. I have always been prone to non-conformity and often walking in camps where I am just so different, that not being unique is impossible. It is of enough frequency that, at least sometimes, in must be purposeful, a bit rebel without a cause. No intent focused on a specific person, well, unless that person is myself.

Or are you happy to join in and be a part of the melting pot of people, where all your flavors mix?

Yes, sometimes I am. Don't most people often enjoy time with groups of people they mesh with? I have my groups.

Do you feel like there are certain things that set you out amongst the crowd?

Yes, and is why I have groups and not a group. I never quite fit. The different groups are where I go when I am wanting connections with the different traits. (One would think the easiest solution is to merge the groups. I have tried, different times, different places, people are too different, it's always a dumpster fire) There are no certain things that stand out as to what things set me apart amongst the crowd, because that depends on what crowd.

How do you feel when someone else shows up with those same traits?

Excited. I like when I find more commonality with a person, above and beyond what was expected in the situation.

When it comes to play, do you ry make your partners feel like an individual? How?

Never thought about it, so I guess I don't try. I don't think I treat play different than just living life. I am prone to fascination about what makes people seem different, from me, from others, what is unexpected, so it will be mentioned and discussed. My intent is not to make them feel anything, though. It is selfish, I want to know, see it, get it.

Do you enjoy being absorbed into groups or are you constantly swimming against the flow?

Yes. Just because they are opposites, doesn't mean I don't enjoy both.

 

[Orchidea73]

04.17.23


Sex Mosh Pits


Ok I promised an easier question but I lied. Sorry, take it up with HR.

How important is individuality to you? Do you like to believe and feel like you are unique in some way, either amongst the crowd or to a person specifically? Or are you happy to join in and be a part of the melting pot of people, where all your flavors mix? Do you feel like there are certain things that set you out amongst the crowd? How do you feel when someone else shows up with those same traits? When it comes to play, do you ry make your partners feel like an individual? How? Do you enjoy being absorbed into groups or are you constantly swimming against the flow?

Probably all those things are valid and applicable to me. It always depends from the context, people and mood. Just don't try too hard (which doesn't mean lack of effort on your part) and let it come organically.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

04.17.23


Sex Mosh Pits


Ok I promised an easier question but I lied. Sorry, take it up with HR.

How important is individuality to you?

I don’t really think about it much. Authenticity matters much more to me.

Do you like to believe and feel like you are unique in some way, either amongst the crowd or to a person specifically?

I think everyone is unique; even if the interests are identical, the experiences, perspectives, and personality would be different. It’s what’s great about people.

I want to feel special to the people who are special to me. It’s not a contest and I don’t need to be the “only” or “most” in any particular area, but I want to feel like I stand out to them.

Or are you happy to join in and be a part of the melting pot of people, where all your flavors mix?

I enjoy this too. It’s one of the things I like most about the forum. The conversations, banter, and jokes have their own rhythm and energy and it’s at its best when it’s a melting pot of people and personalities.

Do you feel like there are certain things that set you out amongst the crowd?

I find it fascinating what other people think stands out about anyone. It’s a combination of what limited parts of them you experience as well as your own filter you see it through.

The things that people seem to comment on about me most often are being practical, level headed, and a good communicator. Then my sense of humor.

How do you feel when someone else shows up with those same traits?

I love it! I can chat with almost anyone, but don’t deeply connect with many people. It’s not a guarantee, but I get excited to engage with people with similar qualities because there’s a higher likelihood that we’ll hit it off.

When it comes to play, do you ry make your partners feel like an individual? How?

Anyone who I would call a partner knows how much they matter to me. That’s important to me. Even more casual play partners know I value them and why. I want them to all feel safe and accepted for exactly who they are. If I’m engaging with them, I already enjoy them and don’t want to change them. I want to enjoy and appreciate them.

Do you enjoy being absorbed into groups or are you constantly swimming against the flow?

Both depending on the situation. Over time some of my individual Lit friendships have added a group aspect as well and I find it delightful.
I’m not referencing group sex

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

04.17.23


Sex Mosh Pits

Sorry for the false bill of good folks. Although, in my brain, this was absolutely inspired but the comment on sex mosh pits in an earlier question. I can't explain how my mind words. Please just nod and smile and play along.
Also I ask questions that I think about quite a lot and I completely understand not everyone has deep, introspective thoughts on these topics. If you ever want to send me a topic or question, PM me! I'd frickin' love that.

Ok I promised an easier question but I lied. Sorry, take it up with HR.

HR is on maternity leave so... sorry.

How important is individuality to you?

Quite a lot. I don't mean in the hipster-I'm-just-trying-to-be-as-different-as-possible way but in the - I've thought quite a lot about myself and I want to be as authentic as possible while also trying to be better everyday - kind of way. I am stubborn too and will resist homogeneity at every turn. If it's the thing everyone is doing, it kind of becomes the last thing I want to do.

Do you like to believe and feel like you are unique in some way, either amongst the crowd or to a person specifically?

I like to feel that way. I am reminded daily that there are zero unique experiences under the sun. Thanks TikTok.

Or are you happy to join in and be a part of the melting pot of people, where all your flavors mix?

I like to mix and learn from other people. I don't want us all to become a stew that all tastes the same and you can't recognize individual ingredients.

Do you feel like there are certain things that set you out amongst the crowd?

Yes and no. I think, as a person, I'm actually pretty boring so I know the little things that other people might find interesting about me. Lets pretend I had a pet velociraptor. No matter how dull I am, having a pet velociraptor is pretty interesting and cool and may set me apart in the crowd. Now if someone else shows up with a pet velociraptor, that reduces the one interesting things about me. Which is fine. Yay more pet velociraptors in the world! But I will just love my pet velociraptor quietly and let someone be Velociraptor Girl/Guy. I am not a person who will fight for a spotlight. Does this analogy make sense? No? Ok moving along.

How do you feel when someone else shows up with those same traits?

I just answered this PLP. Be more succinct you chatty bitch.

When it comes to play, do you try make your partners feel like an individual?

Abso-toot-ly I do. Because they are super unique to me. I've realized I'm fucking picky and so I like to let people know why they stand out and how amazing and special they are. I like to do it private, in public, in the sheets, and on the streets. (insert sassy snap)

Do you enjoy being absorbed into groups or are you constantly swimming against the flow?

I like swimming in my own lane. I don't try to be obstinate just be against everyone but I don't love being a part of a "group". Our experiences inform our opinions and I've just never been a part of a group (especially on Lit) that didn't end up making me feel like pulling off my eyelids. Maybe it's my type A personality or my need for a little control, but I don't want to be judged (or wanted) because of who my friends are - good or bad. I like people, I have friends, but when those friends turn into a circle, if the faintest hint of of the dreaded C word begins to form, I'm out of there faster than Mission Impossible. I like individuals and I like to be an individual.

Now, I know lots of people feel the exact opposite and I have zero judgement for that. That's how you like to operate and you're happy and that makes me happy. This is just me and my weird brain. Thanks for reading. I owe you an oreo.

 

[Cat]

Sorry for the false bill of good folks. Although, in my brain, this was absolutely inspired but the comment on sex mosh pits in an earlier question. I can't explain how my mind words. Please just nod and smile and play along.
Also I ask questions that I think about quite a lot and I completely understand not everyone has deep, introspective thoughts on these topics. If you ever want to send me a topic or question, PM me! I'd frickin' love that.

HR is on maternity leave so... sorry.

Quite a lot. I don't mean in the hipster-I'm-just-trying-to-be-as-different-as-possible way but in the - I've thought quite a lot about myself and I want to be as authentic as possible while also trying to be better everyday - kind of way. I am stubborn too and will resist homogeneity at every turn. If it's the thing everyone is doing, it kind of becomes the last thing I want to do.

I like to feel that way. I am reminded daily that there are zero unique experiences under the sun. Thanks TikTok.

I like to mix and learn from other people. I don't want us all to become a stew that all tastes the same and you can't recognize individual ingredients.

Yes and no. I think, as a person, I'm actually pretty boring so I know the little things that other people might find interesting about me. Lets pretend I had a pet velociraptor. No matter how dull I am, having a pet velociraptor is pretty interesting and cool and may set me apart in the crowd. Now if someone else shows up with a pet velociraptor, that reduces the one interesting things about me. Which is fine. Yay more pet velociraptors in the world! But I will just love my pet velociraptor quietly and let someone be Velociraptor Girl/Guy. I am not a person who will fight for a spotlight. Does this analogy make sense? No? Ok moving along.

I just answered this PLP. Be more succinct you chatty bitch.

Abso-toot-ly I do. Because they are super unique to me. I've realized I'm fucking picky and so I like to let people know why they stand out and how amazing and special they are. I like to do it private, in public, in the sheets, and on the streets. (insert sassy snap)

I like swimming in my own lane. I don't try to be obstinate just be against everyone but I don't love being a part of a "group". Our experiences inform our opinions and I've just never been a part of a group (especially on Lit) that didn't end up making me feel like pulling off my eyelids. Maybe it's my type A personality or my need for a little control, but I don't want to be judged (or wanted) because of who my friends are - good or bad. I like people, I have friends, but when those friends turn into a circle, if the faintest hint of of the dreaded C word begins to form, I'm out of there faster than Mission Impossible. I like individuals and I like to be an individual.

Now, I know lots of people feel the exact opposite and I have zero judgement for that. That's how you like to operate and you're happy and that makes me happy. This is just me and my weird brain. Thanks for reading. I owe you an oreo.

... You do know... You are so abso-freaking-lutely irresistible!!!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

... You do know... You are so abso-freaking-lutely irresistible!!!

You must like weirdos

 

[Cat]

You must like weirdos

They are my favourite people

 

[PandemicReader8]

Sorry, take it up with HR.

Do you have HR's number?

How important is individuality to you? Do you like to believe and feel like you are unique in some way, either amongst the crowd or to a person specifically? Or are you happy to join in and be a part of the melting pot of people, where all your flavors mix?

I don't think I could be more committed to everyone's right to be themselves. That said, I don't think this is an either-or situation.
When I bake a cake, or even make a 'big old salad", I add the required ingredients. The outcome depends on the quality and amount of everything I add, the resulting whole being distinctly different from its parts. But, leaning into the cake, the sugar is still sugar and the eggs are still eggs; they don't stop being themselves in order to become the cake.

Think I'm full of it? Ever try to make brownies without sugar? You get chocolate crackers, because the chemistry of the thing is such that the sugar gives the brownies the fluff. The folks who gave us Splenda offered huge money to anyone who could crack that one.

And yes, a group of people isn't a cake. And yes, I wouldn't add paprika or basil to my brownies. Same goes for people. They might be awesome alone or in a given group, and damn near toxic in a different group.

But who they are matters.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

04.17.23


Sex Mosh Pits


Ok I promised an easier question but I lied. Sorry, take it up with HR.

How important is individuality to you? Do you like to believe and feel like you are unique in some way, either amongst the crowd or to a person specifically? Or are you happy to join in and be a part of the melting pot of people, where all your flavors mix? Do you feel like there are certain things that set you out amongst the crowd? How do you feel when someone else shows up with those same traits? When it comes to play, do you ry make your partners feel like an individual? How? Do you enjoy being absorbed into groups or are you constantly swimming against the flow?

I think we are all the same in that everyone is different than anyone else. We all have our unique experiences and thoughts that make up who we are. But that's quite an ordinary thing. Some people are just louder about it and some people take more time to get to know.

Sometimes I think like to feel a little different and sometimes i like to feel like part of a group. Sometimes finding someone with the same background or interest is exactly what i need. But it all varies depending on the day and the type of grouping.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

HR is on maternity leave so... sorry.

View attachment 2227322

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

This nails it for me as well.
To clumsily paraphrase Terry Pratchett, he remarked once in one of his many footnotes in one of his many books- people think they want the five course meal variety of sex with the flaming dish somewhere in the middle… but at the end of the day they’re perfectly happy with a plate of fish and chips

He had a brilliant mind. Probably the only time I've ever laugh/snorted (lorted?) while reading was caused by one his books.

 

[Dalelaw2164]

He had a brilliant mind. Probably the only time I've ever laugh/snorted (lorted?) while reading was caused by one his books.

He truly did.
I also have “lorted” while reading his stuff. And then looked around in embarrassment to see if anyone heard me…. I have also gained some real wisdom and insight, he slipped some deep thought into his humor.
There might be five books or so that I haven’t read yet, then I’m going to start over!

 

[Paul_Chance]

04.17.23


Sex Mosh Pits


Ok I promised an easier question but I lied. Sorry, take it up with HR.

How important is individuality to you? Do you like to believe and feel like you are unique in some way, either amongst the crowd or to a person specifically? Or are you happy to join in and be a part of the melting pot of people, where all your flavors mix? Do you feel like there are certain things that set you out amongst the crowd? How do you feel when someone else shows up with those same traits? When it comes to play, do you ry make your partners feel like an individual? How? Do you enjoy being absorbed into groups or are you constantly swimming against the flow?

How important is individuality to you?

I'd say "very important". I think it's important to be engaged in life and we craft our individuality through that engagement.

Do you like to believe and feel like you are unique in some way, either amongst the crowd or to a person specifically?

I am unique. You are unique. We all are unique. Whether we demonstrate that uniqueness is a matter of context and circumstance. I don't feel compelled to demonstate it at every turn. Sometimes it's fun to just be the quiet observer, or to take joy from the groups joy.


Or are you happy to join in and be a part of the melting pot of people, where all your flavors mix?

I'm also happy to join in and add some spice to the great soup pot of life.


Do you feel like there are certain things that set you out amongst the crowd?

Yes. I have had a certain combination of life experiences that set me apart from the crowd and influence how I engage with life itself.


How do you feel when someone else shows up with those same traits?

Hasn't happened yet (in 62 years of life). I think it would be pretty cool if it did. We'd probably end up sitting in the corner comparing notes.


When it comes to play, do you try make your partners feel like an individual? How?

Yes, it matters to me. I try by being attentive, being engaged, and drawing out there authentic self through actions and words.


Do you enjoy being absorbed into groups or are you constantly swimming against the flow?

To me, this is kind of two different things wrapped in a single question. There are times when you float down the river, times your swim with the current, and times you swim against the current. I enjoy all of them.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I'm going to brag on this thread for a minute - I brought up recent discussions here with my therapist (yes I talk about you all in code name!) and she mentioned what insightful, interesting discussions these are - so good job Inquiries gang!

 

[Lmizzler]

I'm going to brag on this thread for a minute - I brought up recent discussions here with my therapist (yes I talk about you all in code name!) and she mentioned what insightful, interesting discussions these are - so good job Inquiries gang!

I knew I was a part of several people’s therapy sessions but this takes it to a whole different level.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I'm going to brag on this thread for a minute - I brought up recent discussions here with my therapist (yes I talk about you all in code name!) and she mentioned what insightful, interesting discussions these are - so good job Inquiries gang!

I suspect several of us around here would be "interesting" to psychiatrists, psychologists, and psychoanalysts.