This is me for better or worse. But it isn’t all of me.
I don’t think so. Maybe in the sense of hearing/reading everyone’s personal thoughts, experiences and fantasies makes me look at an old grandma in Walmart and think “you dirty little perv”.
I don’t think anyone anywhere is as they appear. There is always something else going on.
I am pretty much as I am. I am more withdrawn and less giving of my whole self to Lit these days than I have been in the past, for various reasons.
I'm way smarter and wittier on Lit than I am in reality. My personality is the same, but I'm just slower in real life. If someone says something on Lit and I come back a minute later with a witty retort, that's a quick and snappy comeback. In reality, I'm still saying that same thing that minute later. But those 60 seconds will be very slow and awkward.
So I think generally on Lit I tend to express my "ups" more and just be fun and not too serious (I get serious every once in a while though). But a lot of my regular life personality shows through quite clearly here. I think most people who know me from the threads would not be surprised by how I act at work or in other public settings. I'm a bit of a joker, and generally outgoing and friendly and "fun."
There is a difference between my public and private Lit self, but that's true in general. The more private moments in my life (both on and off) are different in some ways. The private Lit self of course has stuff that I don't share in public (intimate sexy stuff), and I think that's normal. The private Lit self too is often more serious, more thoughtful, sometimes a shoulder to cry on, sometimes crying on a shoulder. I don't do that as publicly, but who does? I wouldn't do that in the middle of the hallway at work. But I might in an office with one of my close friends. Same here.
No, I don't really think so. I was always kind of ribald. Maybe it has made me wonder more about what's inside the head of some women.
Yeah, I mostly have. I mean as I have gotten to know some people here well (in private, and not necessarily sexy stuff), I've discovered depth to them that doesn't always show up in the boards. I've discovered wonderful things about who they are as "real people" (not that they were dishonest in any way, but we all a private side). Honestly, more than anything, I've found them to be wonderful in many ways.
My interactive personality is pretty much who i am, I don’t think I could maintain a fictional personality here. The main difference is I share way more semi-nude images here than offline
I’m mostly the same in private, but willing to share a bit more about who I am and more vulnerable parts of me. But otherwise I think Im mostly the same guy
I don’t think so other than I think about sex as frequently as a college freshman now because im immersed in it here now
Mixed bag, most people are their authentic selves, on a rare occasion you see very different personalities emerge but I’d say that’s pretty rare.
I'm sure its a word mistake, but what the heck is a "policy Lit self". Let me check my "Paul Chance Policy Handbook".
I'd say my public Lit self (as demonstrated in thread participation) is very close to my day to day self, even more so since I retired. What you see is what you get.
I think I'm much more reserved publicly. I wasn't always that way but I've learned to hold somethings close to my chest and notice the people who make an effort to seek them out. I'm not different at all. I'm just as silly, pervy, and introspective.
You know I think this is very true. I
I think they are actually very similar, but I think an observer would see them as very different. A lot of how we (or at least me) appear is reactive to my environment. It is not like I walk around all day randomly word blurting. What one sees of myself and my thoughts is because they asked or because a topic came up in conversation. Questions and conversation on lit tend to be a lot more sexual than in my day to day world. People in my day to day world could see the same thing if they asked the right questions and started the right conversations.
not really, people tend to interact the same, so I do.
Very little. Other than the occasional odd behavior of someone else in person that makes me confused and causes me to wonder if maybe they know me from here.
mostly, yes. There are some are complete personas. However, many are just younger on lit, like less adultier versions of their current selves, more like how they were with less life responsibilities. That makes sense to me as many come here to escape from their more adultier world for a little.
Oh man. I hate having the hard conversations, but I know that they are sooo important to have. One of my constant worries is that if I bring up the hard stuff, then I'll become too much, not worth the effort, too difficult, too needy, have unreasonable expectations, etc. In my mind, I prefer being the easy, fun, low maintenance girl. I've learned that in doing this, I'm mostly afraid that the people in my life won't want to meet my needs, so it's better if I pretend I don't have any to avoid the disappointment.
mostly bad, very bad.
I avoid as long as I can.
even with time to prepare, I still suck. I should probably stick to letters. In person, It is two way, which usually means I stop talking as a reaction to them.
I can't recall being blindsided. I've always known it is coming, sometimes before they do.
not well. but it is better than people who do things like "um so we need to talk...later". oh I hate that. Mostly, a hard conversation is a relationship ender. I generally just say nothing. Yes, I could probably find the right words to change the tone of the conversation, but they wouldn't be true. They usually don't want to hear the truth and I've said the truth 100 times before, so there is nothing to say really.
sometimes, I never find the solution though.
Probably, but I probably won't.
I think I'm pretty much exactly the same in person. I'm probably not as outwardly pervy and less likely to be as out there with the "Peg me" and "#hoelife" stuff. But my sense of humor is the same really. I don't do the "internet persona" thing. I'm interesting enough without putting on an act. I think Lit over the years has just made me a little more knowledgeable and open about sex in general.
oh, have I follow up question for the hard conversation folks. Do you find these conversations actually help? like in the long term. not in the short term way where someone agrees, people try for a bit, things seem better, but then eventually you end having a different version of the same conversation again and again?
Depends on the conversation you're talking about.
I'm pretty similar to the day to day me. I do self censor my political opinions by and large, because discussing politics rarely ends well. Privately on Lit I probably show more depth because there is more trust if we've developed to the point where we are talking privately, and that's true IRL not just on Lit.
In a relationship, I like to keep up to date on everything. In other words, if something bothers me I say it in the moment so it doesn’t become a thing later. This practice alone seems to negate the need for “We need to talk” moments later.
How are you at having hard, awkward, or emotional conversations?
I'm both good and bad. Most of the time (not that I've had too many) I'm good with handling them. But there have been few times when I haven't been so.
Both. Some people need their time and I give it to them, and some I know will never take the first step until I do.
I think I'm good at articulating my thoughts. I do take time but not so much to prepare for what am I going to say, but rather to understand the situation and ponder the decision.
Yes.
It depends from the subject. If it's about clarifying a situation, then I'm open about it. If it's a break up (whether a friend or love interest) I close off. I accept their decision, listen to whatever they want to say, accept it (doesn't matter whether I think they are right or wrong), cut off ties and move on. If truth be told, I'm not sure it's the best way to handle it, but it works for me, and that's enough.
Both.
I think I do have a couple. However, I do not think that I "need" to have them. So, I have decided not to. Some things are best left unsaid.
I'll give you a qualified yes as an answer.
I take everything to heart, it's hard for me not to. I haven't experienced a lot of rejection in my life, but the times I have has definitely shaped me. It's helped me to learn not to prioritize people that don't prioritize me. It's helped me to stop taking things for granted, expecting that they will always be there. It's helped me to see my faults and look for ways to improve upon them in the future.
Ohhh, good questions.
