🍆❤️‍🩹🍆 Dicknations for Sassy! Updates & Get Well Wang 🍆❤️‍🩹🍆

[Anastasia1999]

Yes. I will sit and type one out for you tomorrow. This week kicked my ass mentally.

Thinking of you dear Sassy. Keep going

 

[talikat]

Yes. I will sit and type one out for you tomorrow. This week kicked my ass mentally.

Aww, sweet, Sassy........

 

[SassySheDevil]

Sorry. This will most likely be long.

When I left the hospital, I was given that news I did not want to hear. 12 hours of surgery and "I'm sorry. We were not able to get it all. Part of it is laying up against blood vessels." To make matters worse, half my lymph nodes tested positive so, I am stage 3 now.
"We need to hurry and get you into chemo" -- Oops. Now your incision has ripped, and we have to heal you first.

Here I sit 5 weeks later still trying to deal with my incision which I am the one taking care of it now that the wound vac is off.
I emailed the wound care Nurse this week to tell her I wasn't seeing as much improvement as when I had the wound vac on and was concerned this was slowing me down and I didn't want to keep packing it like this if it was slowing me down. I asked if the wound vac needed to go back on. I told her I was also running out of supplies (which I knew were expensive) I asked if "assaulting it" everyday was making it worse. BTW. Be careful who you use this choice of words to. She apparently got triggered.
She emailed back and I could tell she was angry. She said "if by taking showers every day is what you are calling assaulting. Most would say 2 showers a day is better and we're only asking you to take 1. Sam (other wound care nurse) and I agree that taking showers every day is the best course of action."
That was basically it.
She didn't address supplies; she didn't address if she thought I should come in and see her again. I have this white layer of biofilm on the wound and each time I go in, they basically cut it off. I told her that it has come back, and I wasn't sure if she wanted to cut it off again. She said "no, it'll sluff off in the shower" (but yet it's not, even with q-tip help) She just repeated that it would come off in the shower.
So, I went on Amazon and ordered supplies.

I was pissed. I got ahold of one of my Palliative care nurses and the conversation came up. She was mad. I cut and pasted the emails to her and she just kept saying "That is not how we nurses act. You don't just brush off a patient. Even if some word choice they made offended you for some reason."
She called my Surgeons main nurse and told her that she was angry at the exchange and imagine how the patient feels. If it feels like someone has written you off, you lose a small amount of hope yourself. That nurse called me back and asked me how I was feeling, what I was thinking and told me she would look into the exchanges but also get my original nurse back involved in my care. (She had been off for medical issues, she was in a boot)
That nurse called me and apologized for not following up with me. Dayna (the mad nurse) had told her that it was healed, and we were done with wound care. She said she took her at her word and said she still should have just called me herself.

Now I have an appointment with my surgeon on Monday to follow up with him. They are concerned I am still in so much pain 5 weeks out. He will look at the wound himself to see if I am healed enough to start Chemo and see if he can come up with reasons for me still being in so much pain.
I had thought we couldn't do chemo until it was closed, but that could take months. The only goal is that the bottom layers of the wound are strong and healed. The top layers could take months to heal, and we can't wait that long.

It has just been an emotional week fighting for quality care which I shouldn't have to do. When anyone in your team feels like they are shoving you out the door you sit and think to yourself. "Well. Obviously, she has already written me off. So. Why should I fight?" It took several days, and several conversations with a handful of of people for me to get back to feeling okay again.

I'm angry at what life has dealt me. I'm emotional. My kids are falling apart. My husband puts on the brave face for everyone and outwardly only shows the positive "Kick its ass" vibes.
I want a fighting chance even if I know it would take a miracle at this point. I've gotten enough shit dealt to me at this point. Let me have the miracle.

 

[hotoldrguy]

Sorry. This will most likely be long.

When I left the hospital, I was given that news I did not want to hear. 12 hours of surgery and "I'm sorry. We were not able to get it all. Part of it is laying up against blood vessels." To make matters worse, half my lymph nodes tested positive so, I am stage 3 now.
"We need to hurry and get you into chemo" -- Oops. Now your incision has ripped, and we have to heal you first.

Here I sit 5 weeks later still trying to deal with my incision which I am the one taking care of it now that the wound vac is off.
I emailed the wound care Nurse this week to tell her I wasn't seeing as much improvement as when I had the wound vac on and was concerned this was slowing me down and I didn't want to keep packing it like this if it was slowing me down. I asked if the wound vac needed to go back on. I told her I was also running out of supplies (which I knew were expensive) I asked if "assaulting it" everyday was making it worse. BTW. Be careful who you use this choice of words to. She apparently got triggered.
She emailed back and I could tell she was angry. She said "if by taking showers every day is what you are calling assaulting. Most would say 2 showers a day is better and we're only asking you to take 1. Sam (other wound care nurse) and I agree that taking showers every day is the best course of action."
That was basically it.
She didn't address supplies; she didn't address if she thought I should come in and see her again. I have this white layer of biofilm on the wound and each time I go in, they basically cut it off. I told her that it has come back, and I wasn't sure if she wanted to cut it off again. She said "no, it'll sluff off in the shower" (but yet it's not, even with q-tip help) She just repeated that it would come off in the shower.
So, I went on Amazon and ordered supplies.

I was pissed. I got ahold of one of my Palliative care nurses and the conversation came up. She was mad. I cut and pasted the emails to her and she just kept saying "That is not how we nurses act. You don't just brush off a patient. Even if some word choice they made offended you for some reason."
She called my Surgeons main nurse and told her that she was angry at the exchange and imagine how the patient feels. If it feels like someone has written you off, you lose a small amount of hope yourself. That nurse called me back and asked me how I was feeling, what I was thinking and told me she would look into the exchanges but also get my original nurse back involved in my care. (She had been off for medical issues, she was in a boot)
That nurse called me and apologized for not following up with me. Dayna (the mad nurse) had told her that it was healed, and we were done with wound care. She said she took her at her word and said she still should have just called me herself.

Now I have an appointment with my surgeon on Monday to follow up with him. They are concerned I am still in so much pain 5 weeks out. He will look at the wound himself to see if I am healed enough to start Chemo and see if he can come up with reasons for me still being in so much pain.
I had thought we couldn't do chemo until it was closed, but that could take months. The only goal is that the bottom layers of the wound are strong and healed. The top layers could take months to heal, and we can't wait that long.

It has just been an emotional week fighting for quality care which I shouldn't have to do. When anyone in your team feels like they are shoving you out the door you sit and think to yourself. "Well. Obviously, she has already written me off. So. Why should I fight?" It took several days, and several conversations with a handful of of people for me to get back to feeling okay again.

I'm angry at what life has dealt me. I'm emotional. My kids are falling apart. My husband puts on the brave face for everyone and outwardly only shows the positive "Kick its ass" vibes.
I want a fighting chance even if I know it would take a miracle at this point. I've gotten enough shit dealt to me at this point. Let me have the miracle.

Sassy I am so sorry you are going through all of this. It is bad enough that you have cancer without the medical caregivers being such stupid assholes. Our healthcare system sucks. You have to fight all the time for the right care. That nurse that "wrote you off" should be fired. You have been fighting for so long, you must be exhausted. Try to stay strong. I am glad that you have family to support you. You have a lot of friends here too that are pulling for you.

 

[hairball18]

I always thought that being compassionate was part of being a nurse. She knows what you are going through and she should at the very least listen to your concerns and make every effort to comfort you. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

 

[ccs29745]

No one should have to fight to get proper care. Hopefully when the doctor sees you they write the other one up for falsely saying you were healed knowing that you weren't. Hope things improve very very soon sassy.

 

[AveryElle]

I’m so sorry the care you’re receiving isn’t to the level you want. That’s massively disappointing.

I know there’s a lot of anxiety trying to be ready for chemo. I’m sure your team wants you as healthy as possible or it.

I am sorry you’re going through this. Cancer is an absolute asshole.

 

[JBoy1952]

I have a lot of sympathy and empathy for you. At 70 years old, I have watched medical care become less and less caring and less and less competent---over the past 10 years at least.

You, especially, are too young to be treated the way you are. Medical people are both so arrogant and defensive unless you are kissing their ass. They think they are Gods and Godesses of Personhood...and act like it.

Keep after them for what you need. Don't give up!

 

[SassySheDevil]

Sassy I am so sorry you are going through all of this. It is bad enough that you have cancer without the medical caregivers being such stupid assholes. Our healthcare system sucks. You have to fight all the time for the right care. That nurse that "wrote you off" should be fired. You have been fighting for so long, you must be exhausted. Try to stay strong. I am glad that you have family to support you. You have a lot of friends here too that are pulling for you.

Thank you, Guy., I'd truly be lost without such a supportive family. I struggle to talk about my emotions right now. I can't even complete full sentences without bawling. This is why I'm also grateful for the nurses who have truly been my medical rocks. My palliative care nurses can't officially take over my care yet as I am still a surgical patient. But they have assured me that I can call anytime I like just to talk.

I always thought that being compassionate was part of being a nurse. She knows what you are going through and she should at the very least listen to your concerns and make every effort to comfort you. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

In the hospital I had a few conversations with the nurses and basically told them I like the new nurses. Of course, I love knowledge too of course, but the new nurses still like their job. They still want to help people. Obviously, there are still exceptions. My favorite nurse has been a nurse for 17 years.

No one should have to fight to get proper care. Hopefully when the doctor sees you they write the other one up for falsely saying you were healed knowing that you weren't. Hope things improve very very soon sassy.

I loved him as a surgeon. Just not the greatest bedside manner. So, I admit I'm hoping he comes to work that day remembering what it was like to have some compassion.

I’m so sorry the care you’re receiving isn’t to the level you want. That’s massively disappointing.

I know there’s a lot of anxiety trying to be ready for chemo. I’m sure your team wants you as healthy as possible or it.

I am sorry you’re going through this. Cancer is an absolute asshole.

Yes. The anxiety is through the roof. I 100% agree. Cancer is the fucking devil and I'm angry this is Cancer #2

I have a lot of sympathy and empathy for you. At 70 years old, I have watched medical care become less and less caring and less and less competent---over the past 10 years at least.

You, especially, are too young to be treated the way you are. Medical people are both so arrogant and defensive unless you are kissing their ass. They think they are Gods and Godesses of Personhood...and act like it.

Keep after them for what you need. Don't give up!

That's a huge reason I am so angry. My parents died young (60's) but they at least got time with their grandkids. My grandson is only 6 months. My daughter is getting married next year.
Thank you!

 

[SassySheDevil]

I have officially lost 19 pounds now.

 

[hotoldrguy]

I have officially lost 19 pounds now.

lovely pic Sassy

 

[SassySheDevil]

lovely pic Sassy

Thank you. Long ways to go before I take one of my body, but at least I can take pictures of my face. These scars are gnarly and won't be pretty. I'm hoping the doctor will tell me once I can use the scar strips.

 

[ccs29745]

I have officially lost 19 pounds now.

Looking good as always sassy.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Looking good as always sassy.

Thank you.

 

[hotoldrguy]

Thank you. Long ways to go before I take one of my body, but at least I can take pictures of my face. These scars are gnarly and won't be pretty. I'm hoping the doctor will tell me once I can use the scar strips.

I would be happy to see your body scars and all

 

[n8Romantic]

I have officially lost 19 pounds now.

Great photo, but I'm looking forward to seeing that weight go back on. Fingers and toes crossed and prayers your miracle comes, beginning with more effective and compassionate care.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Great photo, but I'm looking forward to seeing that weight go back on. Fingers and toes crossed and prayers your miracle comes, beginning with more effective and compassionate care.

We will have to get more creative about adding calories to my meals. My stomach only holds about 4 ounces right now, so it is a little hard to get much in there. I'm basically snacking throughout the day.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I would be happy to see your body scars and all

I will suck it up at some point. Just as I did with the breast cancer. You can barely see that scar at all now. But it also didn't rip open.

 

[JBoy1952]

I have officially lost 19 pounds now.

Congratulations!
You are such a sweet looking lady. Beautiful pic.

 

[JBoy1952]

Congratulations!
You are such a sweet looking lady. Beautiful pic.

Maybe I stepped out of line...are you not happy losing the weight part in your dilemma?

 

[n8Romantic]

We will have to get more creative about adding calories to my meals. My stomach only holds about 4 ounces right now, so it is a little hard to get much in there. I'm basically snacking throughout the day.

I can't imagine what you and your family are going through. I had my right knee replaced at the end of April and the recovery has been painful, but it's nothing compared to what you are experiencing. I did have superlative care before during and after my surgery, so I had none of the frustration and anger you are bearing along with your illness. Just take it one step at a time, one day at a time. You're probably tired of hearing that, but it's all you can do.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I will suck it up at some point. Just as I did with the breast cancer. You can barely see that scar at all now. But it also didn't rip open.

I think scars are sexy in their own right. I appreciate the strength they represent.

I also get not wanting to lead with them all the time though. In that case I think it just means once you feel stronger, it’s a fantastic reason to go pick out new lingerie that accentuates the things you love most and downplays the scars

 

[AveryElle]

Thank you. Long ways to go before I take one of my body, but at least I can take pictures of my face. These scars are gnarly and won't be pretty. I'm hoping the doctor will tell me once I can use the scar strips.

There is also scar therapy PT. A lot of mastectomy patients go that route. I have a poorly healed c section scar so when I have my mastectomy, I’m going to PT. They so scar massage to break up the hard tissue.

 

[Joxlrg]

Sassy I’m so sorry you are going through this. Thanks for the update and I do really hope that your appointment tomorrow goes well. Hugs

 

[talikat]

I have officially lost 19 pounds now.

Look at that face of a strong, wonderful lady, the best of luck to you tomorrow, Sassy!!