💔Lavender's Lit-lationship Break-up Timetable💔

[SensualKat78]

It's a dreadful feeling and seems never ending when your in the thick of it...
Although mine isn't a lit breakup...

 

[Coyote100]

Well, if your lit romance is never ending, I think you might be in the wrong thread...
Just saying...

Love is blind, and as a former boy scout, always be prepared.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

Goodness. Thank you so very much for this, lavender! I like the positivity and The Smiths song attached.

It took me over two years go get over my last (and probably final) Litlationship. There really isn't a time table for that kind of thing, as you said. It's important to fill your life with other things. Hang out with friends (online and real life), do hobbies you enjoy, take care of yourself. You are super duper important.

You do not have to hate the other person. You do not have to love the other person. It is OK to feel anything about the person so long as you don't weaponize it against yourself or others.

Loneliness is definitely a thing after a breakup. If you feel that Lit is triggering after that, take a break and step back for a bit. It can be just stepping back for a day. It does not have to be forever. I've talked to a lot of people who agree that Lit is not always a great place to be when you are depressed (and I know that from my own experience). Maybe try to take some time going outside for a walk.

You are a wonderful person, whoever you are. Do you believe in life after (Lit) love? I do.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

You have a palantir? This you?

Is this a lord of the rings reference? *Starts doing math

 

[SensualKat78]

One of my favs!

 

[dawn_of_night]

Love is blind, and as a former boy scout, always be prepared.

That's fair!
I don't love often, but once i do it's deep and for longer than I should...

 

[dawn_of_night]

 

[Drinkmein]

I’m glad I stumbled up on this thread. After getting my little lit heartbroken here last year after a year and a half Situationship here it’s taken a while to even wanna login. You Don’t expect a ghosting after a year, but there you are.

 

[Lmizzler]

Great thread @lavendersilk

Keep it up!

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

It's a dreadful feeling and seems never ending when your in the thick of it...

This is a very true statement, and the bear of a place like Lit is that triggers abound. Whether it is the person you separated from making a real show of 'moving on' or seeing other people happy (which, when you're going through it, is annoying at best )

A super important thing is to pause and rediscover that internal validation. The things you know are good and worthwhile about yourself. Lift yourself up, and find comfort in people who get you and support you.

Oh, and definitely, definitely, when you are angry (and you will be at some point) don't post through it. Never post through it.

 

[SensualKat78]

This is a very true statement, and the bear of a place like Lit is that triggers abound. Whether it is the person you separated from making a real show of 'moving on' or seeing other people happy (which, when you're going through it, is annoying at best )

A super important thing is to pause and rediscover that internal validation. The things you know are good and worthwhile about yourself. Lift yourself up, and find comfort in people who get you and support you.

Oh, and definitely, definitely, when you are angry (and you will be at some point) don't post through it. Never post through it.

Thank you for your kind words, the sad part of it all is I believe it's not something we both really want... which makes it hard to be mad.

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

Thank you for your kind words, the sad part of it all is I believe it's not something we both really want... which makes it hard to be mad.

I get that. And I was probably speaking as much 'big picture' as I was to your specific story (which I don't know)

I think we sometimes forget that navigating a break up is a kind of grieving, because there is something lost there.

Or maybe I'm just all in my own feelings lately

 

[SensualKat78]

I get that. And I was probably speaking as much 'big picture' as I was to your specific story (which I don't know)

I think we sometimes forget that navigating a break up is a kind of grieving, because there is something lost there.

Or maybe I'm just all in my own feelings lately

Very true it is for sure grieving...

 

[MrMakersMark]

Not really a romantic myself.
A personal flaw, I've been assured by more than one throughout my life, I suffer from. I mean, I don't kid myself. I've plenty of years of evidentiary support to that claim.
So, though I've an almost embarrassing amount of time here reading and very occasionally interacting, I've never had to endure what that feeling is like here.

While I can't truly empathize, I can offer a funny scene from a film I thought of, that to me presents an excellent metaphor for what I assume romantic relationships are like...here on Lit.

The comparison made me laugh anyway. I hope it does you as well.

 

[Azuldrgon]

I’m glad I stumbled up on this thread. After getting my little lit heartbroken here last year after a year and a half Situationship here it’s taken a while to even wanna login. You Don’t expect a ghosting after a year, but there you are.

Ghostings are the worst.
Closure is needful to move on.

 

[Drinkmein]

Ghostings are the worst.
Closure is needful to move on.

Even months later I feel the sting mixed with worry if he’s ok. He’s not been here since Feb 28

 

[dawn_of_night]

Even months later I feel the sting mixed with worry if he’s ok. He’s not been here since Feb 28

Best wishes to recovering healthily...
I always wonder what happen, we stopped talking and it's been over 5 years we broke it off and about 4 since he's been on lit

 

[drouter]

Even months later I feel the sting mixed with worry if he’s ok. He’s not been here since Feb 28

You feel the sting months after because your feelings were deep and real....if it was not so....you would not still be feeling this way. Time has a way of healing...that is what life's experiences are all about.

 

[Photog1rl]

This is a very true statement, and the bear of a place like Lit is that triggers abound. Whether it is the person you separated from making a real show of 'moving on' or seeing other people happy (which, when you're going through it, is annoying at best )

And the rub here is that even if the other person isn’t trying to make a “real show” of moving on it is a small pond and it can be impossible to not see the other person in the threads.

A super important thing is to pause and rediscover that internal validation. The things you know are good and worthwhile about yourself. Lift yourself up, and find comfort in people who get you and support you.

Oh, and definitely, definitely, when you are angry (and you will be at some point) don't post through it. Never post through it.

This is such good advice Lusty. Its not advice I have always followed but it is good advice none the less.

I think we sometimes forget that navigating a break up is a kind of grieving, because there is something lost there.

100% this! Even if what was lost is not the same for each person there is still loss.

You feel the sting months after because your feelings were deep and real....if it was not so....you would not still be feeling this way.

I think this has always been the hardest part for me. If you allow yourself to develop real deep feelings then it can take longer than you’d like to get over things.

Time has a way of healing...that is what life's experiences are all about.

It does. It isn’t always linear but with enough time and distance it is easier to see things all work out how they should.

Nice thread idea @lavendersilk people can defiantly use support during breakups and the reminder that they are not alone.

 

[lavendersilk]

Not really a romantic myself.
A personal flaw, I've been assured by more than one throughout my life, I suffer from. I mean, I don't kid myself. I've plenty of years of evidentiary support to that claim.
So, though I've an almost embarrassing amount of time here reading and very occasionally interacting, I've never had to endure what that feeling is like here.

While I can't truly empathize, I can offer a funny scene from a film I thought of, that to me presents an excellent metaphor for what I assume romantic relationships are like...here on Lit.

The comparison made me laugh anyway. I hope it does you as well.

Analogies are interesting. I'm not great at them. But this is pretty funny. Once you have some distance from the breakup, it's easier to laugh about certain things. But, when it's still fresh it is hard to.

 

[MrMakersMark]

I understand.
I do promise I wasn't intending to seem insensitive.
I couldn't relate to your heartache, so for me to comment on it as if I could seemed disingenuous.

So I went another direction.

I read once laughter is a great healer.
Proverbs, I believe.

 

[lavendersilk]

I understand.
I do promise I wasn't intending to seem insensitive.
I couldn't relate to your heartache, so for me to comment on it as if I could seemed disingenuous.

So I went another direction.

I read once laughter is a great healer.
Proverbs, I believe.

No offense taken. I just suck at analogies.

 

[MrMakersMark]

No offense taken. I just suck at analogies.

Well...we'll just have to work on that.

 

[Drinkmein]

Best wishes to recovering healthily...
I always wonder what happen, we stopped talking and it's been over 5 years we broke it off and about 4 since he's been on lit

Absolutely get it. I’m not crying. Never did. But it hurt. Still hurts and makes me distrust my judgment.

 

[dawn_of_night]

Absolutely get it. I’m not crying. Never did. But it hurt. Still hurts and makes me distrust my judgment.

I can't say I didn't, especially when it ended, but those last words and then the being gone, those just sting a little while.
Moving on was a slow process...
Hopefully I'm better for it, ya know