💔Lavender's Lit-lationship Break-up Timetable💔

[BrendaBear]

Well... I think it's time to dip your toes into the

cool, refreshing waters of the...

Lit-lationship Dating Pool

View attachment 2402579​

So, you've had some time to heal and you're beginning to feel

flirty and sexy...

There are a couple of Litsters who've caught your eye. Maybe you're feeling a little shy... hesitant to try again... because despite the healing, there are scars, and you don't want to be hurt again.

You're cautious, I get it. Maybe you don't want to dive in to the deep end of the pool. You're perfectly content to stay in the shallow end.

There is nothing wrong with that. I've got some cute floaties for you to choose from:

View attachment 2402589


1. Laughter
Laughing helps to ease your mind.

2. Lighthearted Banter
Keeping things light and avoiding serious topics will keep you from falling into old habits.

3. Closed PMs
Closing those PMs will completely take away the temptation to respond to possible suitors.


But say you want to flirt back...
Let's say you want to discuss serious topics...
And what if you want to speak with someone off the boards?

Then you will need to write down exactly

WHAT IT IS YOU WANT IN YOUR LIT-LATIONSHIP

This will be different for everybody. But there are a few fundamentals.

Respect
Kindness
Attention
Honesty


Anything else is icing on the cake.

Please discuss what you truly want out of your Lit-lationship. Be honest with yourself. And most importantly,

Don't.
Settle.
For.
Less.

Wow… this was a perfect time for me to stumble onto this thread…

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

So, horniness trumps laziness.

 

[Lmizzler]

Well... I think it's time to dip your toes into the

cool, refreshing waters of the...

Lit-lationship Dating Pool

View attachment 2402579​

So, you've had some time to heal and you're beginning to feel

flirty and sexy...

There are a couple of Litsters who've caught your eye. Maybe you're feeling a little shy... hesitant to try again... because despite the healing, there are scars, and you don't want to be hurt again.

You're cautious, I get it. Maybe you don't want to dive in to the deep end of the pool. You're perfectly content to stay in the shallow end.

There is nothing wrong with that. I've got some cute floaties for you to choose from:

View attachment 2402589


1. Laughter
Laughing helps to ease your mind.

2. Lighthearted Banter
Keeping things light and avoiding serious topics will keep you from falling into old habits.

3. Closed PMs
Closing those PMs will completely take away the temptation to respond to possible suitors.


But say you want to flirt back...
Let's say you want to discuss serious topics...
And what if you want to speak with someone off the boards?

Then you will need to write down exactly

WHAT IT IS YOU WANT IN YOUR LIT-LATIONSHIP

This will be different for everybody. But there are a few fundamentals.

Respect
Kindness
Attention
Honesty


Anything else is icing on the cake.

Please discuss what you truly want out of your Lit-lationship. Be honest with yourself. And most importantly,

Don't.
Settle.
For.
Less.

This post is worth its digital weight in gold. Which is basically bitcoin but that’s besides the point.
It’s insightful.
It’s funny.
It’s heartfelt.
It comes from a place of love, respect, and honesty.

Well done @lavendersilk

 

[Starscream_UK]

it was, met in a yahoo chatroom at 17, friends for 5 years, then it turned sexual. very satisfying in every way for 17 years. never met in person, the last 2 years made plans to move closer to each other and be together. just before time to put the plans in motion i received a call from a "friend" telling me that she past away in a car accident. grieved for several months, changed my plans. not being someone to let things go i did some research. turned out she had been lying to me about a number of things that really made no sense. she was also still alive, though she did try to commit suicide sometime after breaking it off. we talked briefly but she was under medical care and it was just too late. any attempts to reconnect went unanswered. its been almost 10 years now. while im ultimately looking for something similar, i need honesty. there is no reason for her to have told some of the lies she did when we shared so much of our lives for so long and were so intimate. i tend to be hesitant about the long term and about trying to make long distance relationships more than situationships. definitely a lot of lessons learned and a foundation piece for who i am as a man and a partner now.

That sounds spookily similar to a situation I had - been chatting with someone for 7 years - both online and over the phone - then everything went silent. Received a message from her husband (& family, who I knew nothing about) that she had died of breast cancer. Dug around, turned out she was alive and well but didn't know how to scale everything back.

People are strange, that's what I took from the whole escapade. Sorry you went through that.

 

[TXRafe]

That sounds spookily similar to a situation I had - been chatting with someone for 7 years - both online and over the phone - then everything went silent. Received a message from her husband (& family, who I knew nothing about) that she had died of breast cancer. Dug around, turned out she was alive and well but didn't know how to scale everything back.

People are strange, that's what I took from the whole escapade. Sorry you went through that.

i too am sorry you had to go through that. worst part of all of it was the lies she did tell were so meaningless to the actual relationship that being honest at any point would have been understood and accepted. i hope youve either been able to find someone else or someone will come into your life soon when youre ready for it.

 

[SmokingFap]

That sounds spookily similar to a situation I had - been chatting with someone for 7 years - both online and over the phone - then everything went silent. Received a message from her husband (& family, who I knew nothing about) that she had died of breast cancer. Dug around, turned out she was alive and well but didn't know how to scale everything back.

People are strange, that's what I took from the whole escapade. Sorry you went through that.

The love of my life on here, and in real life, if I'm honest, was the most fabulous and sexy woman I've ever known. But she was also a clinical sex addict to go along with cripplingly low self-esteem. She'd also been hospitalized a couple times for suicide attempts during depressive fugues. She's bounced back several times, but I haven't heard from her in at least a couple months now. Truly hope she's doing alright, even if we never speak again.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

When I went through my first and also the last Lit break up, someone special kept sending me Kelly Clarkson songs. This one helped me move on:

 

[subdudeme13]

You could have found a better verb.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

You could have found a better verb.

Technically I think it’s an adverb

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Technically I think it’s an adverb

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

So, horniness trumps laziness.

'Describe your 20s in five words or less'

 

[UnquietDreams]

Technically I think it’s an adverb

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

'Describe your 20s in five words or less'

What's the five words or less for your 30s and 40s?

 

[UnquietDreams]

What's the five words or less for your 30s and 40s?

50s.

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

What's the five words or less for your 30s and 40s?

'Why does this hurt?'

 

[Grant55]

 

[BrendaBear]

What's the five words or less for your….

50s.

It’s about f-ing time!

 

[SassySheDevil]

Very good read.

 

[SmokingFap]

The love of my life on here, and in real life, if I'm honest, was the most fabulous and sexy woman I've ever known. But she was also a clinical sex addict to go along with cripplingly low self-esteem. She'd also been hospitalized a couple times for suicide attempts during depressive fugues. She's bounced back several times, but I haven't heard from her in at least a couple months now. Truly hope she's doing alright, even if we never speak again.

I had gotten a few reactions on this post, so I thought some folks might be interested and happy to learn that Jenny finally did start messaging me again a few days ago and is doing great. In fact, I helped her achieve the greatest fantasy of her entire life the night before Halloween. She's been on cloud nine since then.

Love you, Jen.

 

[Celticlight]

I've only just stumbled across these posts now and they're tremendous, I must say. Thank you for the clear time, care and effort that's gone into them

I guess that, even if we can't all be lavendersilk, we can at least be lavender's ilk, amiright..?

*Grabs coat, departs slowly and in silence*

 

[BrendaBear]

I've only just stumbled across these posts now and they're tremendous, I must say. Thank you for the clear time, care and effort that's gone into them

I guess that, even if we can't all be lavendersilk, we can at least be lavender's ilk, amiright..?

*Grabs coat, departs slowly and in silence*

 

[Steve00]

Lavender's Lit-lationship Break-up Timetable

Hello there. If you have stumbled upon my new thread, it wasn't by accident. You belong here. I can help you get through this.

Get you a snack, beverage and find a cozy spot to sit. I want you to be as comfortable as possible.

Lets get three important things out of the way...

Number 1: You are enough.

Number 2: You will get through this in time.

Number 3: We have all been there and we can help each other.


How soon is now?

When will I finally be free of this pain? How can I speed up the process? The truth is, you can't. And despite the title of this thread, there isn't an exact amount of time. However, I do have a simple timetable that I have come up with that may be of use to you. It isn't an exact science, but if it helps you to see a light at the end of that dark tunnel I've done my job.

Before I share that timetable with you I would like you to close your eyes and envision what you want to happen at the end of this emotional journey.

Can you feel that happiness? Is it within your grasp or is it too far away?

Try to remember how you felt before you got into the relationship. When you were a little bit younger, a little bit naive perhaps, maybe there was a slight spring in your step. Did you laugh easily and smile often?

Hold onto that feeling for a few seconds...



Now you have a goal. You want to get back to that person. I have something to tell you. You will never be that person again. I know that sounds a bit maudlin, but it is a good thing. You will be happy again. You will even get back on that proverbial Lit-lationship horse. But guess what else? You will be:

1: STRONGER.
2: WISER.
3: BETTER



Are you still with me? Good. Alright. Here is my timetable. It has worked for me in the past. I hope it works for you too.

I've broken it down into four simple categories:


DAYS:
For every day you were in the relationship, it will take you an hour to move on.

WEEKS:
For every  week you were in the relationship, it will take you a  day to move on.

MONTHS:
For every  month you were in the relationship, it will take you a  week to move on.

YEARS:
For every  year you were in the relationship, it will take you a  month to move on.



I encourage you to share what you feel comfortable sharing. Comment about how you got over your break-up. Commiserate with your fellow Litster.

Let's help each other get through this. We can do it.

TOGETHER!

Thanks--I needed this today. Holding all of us who've loved and lost in the light.

 

[Sammysub07]

Wish I had seen this thread about 1.5 months ago! Not a Lit-situationship but definitely a dynamic. Oof, did it hurt! The friends of Lit were definitely here to help me get through it, but this thread would have been perfect!

Great job on it!! @lavendersilk