About the AH as being a family....

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Re: not a consolation thread....

But I have always found Lucifer's stories well worth reading, even if we have a completely different writing style. And that avatar....is that the so called "bat plant?" Sack

Bat Flower, Cat's Whiskers, Devil Flower. I prefer the final name myself.

And you can thank minsue for it. She sent me the pic.

P.S. Suck up.

 

[sack]

P.S. Suck up.

Should I use a straw?

Sack

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

P.S. Suck up.

Should I use a straw?

Sack

Not neccessary, but a little to the left if you don't mind terribly.

 

[sack]

I've always leaned a little to the left.....

Hey....to the left of WHAT!!

Sack (practicing sucking)

 

[shereads]

Re: Re: not a consolation thread....

P.S. Suck up.

A-freaking-men. The manure is so deep in this place, pig farms downwind from us are calling to complain. Group hugs are typically used by pickpockets and dirty old men as opportunities to grope the unwilling, walk away with their wallets and be congratulated for their forebearance. I get to say all of this crap because I don't have any stories posted and won't be checking later to see if I've been awarded onesies or mad-faces. If I did have some stories, I'd one-bomb them myself just to buy my freedom.

Thank you, Luc, for the courage of your convictions. If you show up at the Miss Literotica pageant thread in timely fashion, you could get a surprise.

Can't promise anything, though. Perdita has already threatened to play the race card.

 

[fairysong]

Gods, I really love TheEarl because he's great and he's got a fantastic arse. And a pretty cute toaster, too.

Fairy, do we have to make up? I never wear the stuff if I can help it.

What? I think makeup most of the time makes someone look uglier than he/she does without it.

--Kass, trying levity again, as a good semi-Discordian should...

You are right who needs make up. Going all natural is so much better not to mention fun

 

[Kassiana]

Going all natural is so much better

So's going au naturel.

 

[TheEarl]

Re: About this apology stuff....

The only way I can see this clearly is to turn the tables and give an example. Suppose someone else made a list and I was not on it. Instead of just questioning the person about my concerns, I started whining and complaining, dismissed the thread as "high school", used the words "malicious", "ungentlemanly", "impolite" etc., ad nauseaum. But then I learned that the thread was done as a lighthearted tribute to a narrow group of people in that person's AH world, and wasn't as I interpreted it at all. Would I expect that person to apologize to me, "for making me feel bad"? ABSOLUTELY NOT!! I was the person making an ass out of myself for running with my insecure emotions. It was all about me, and had nothing to do with the other person's thread. Now, if I really meant to hurt people, or divide the AH, that would be an entirely different matter where an apology would be appropriate. I think Dr. M. was out of line for some of the things he said, which were totally incorrect "assumptions" as to what was really happening. So, an apology in that specific instance makes sense. But, I don't believe in apologizing just for the sake of apologizing. You can't please everybody, no matter what you write, and in this case the message was very clearly 100% positive and even fun in places. People have the right to their interpretations, even if they only work for them. But that is a far cry from someone apologizing because others reacted in a way that wasn't helpful...in their own volition.

This is about as clear as I can make it, and this explanation makes sense to me.

Sack

I'm not saying you did anything wrong. I'm saying that you accidentally hurt people's feelings. I know you didn't mean to. And I know you think it's their fault for being sensitive.

But when all's said and done, your actions made someone else upset, even if it was 'because they had the wrong interpretation.' It isn't apologising for the sake of apologising, it's saying sorry because someone else is hurt. It's manners and it's politeness.

Saying "it's your fault for getting the wrong interpretation" makes it sound like you don't give a damn about anyone else's feelings. If you actually don't, then do excuse me, but I credited you as someone with courtesy and manners and some kind of empathy.

Never mind.

The Earl

 

[TheEarl]

Let me put it this way: Prince Harry didn't mean to insult anyone with his Afrikaners Corps costume. He didn't mean to dredge up painful memories for God knows how many people by wearing a Swastika on his arm. He was wearing a fancy-dress costume. It's not his fault that people got the wrong interpretation. It's not his fault that several Jewish groups have 'made asses out of themselves for running with their insecure emotions.'

Do you think he should apologise for this serious misjudgement of how his costume would appear to other people?

The Earl

 

[sack]

I figured out what was bothering me...

about your two examples, Earl. Prince Harry's hijinks and your earlier example about running around a corner and hitting someone are things that most people would perceive as "negative." So, I agree if you do a negative thing, even by accident, an apology isn't a bad idea.

However, what I did was not a negative thing. I wanted to recognize the stories and contributions of people close to me in the AH. Perhaps the manner in which I did this is something others wouldn't have done themselves, but that's irrelevant really. It was my thread, and I had the option of structuring my thoughts any way I saw fit.

There were many clues that the list was positive, and even funny in places. So, if people want to change it into something negative just to gripe and complain, that really has nothing to do with me. If individuals had questions about the list, or my reason for creating it, they could have asked in the thread itself and I would have answered them. That would be fair, and what any reasonable person would do. But to demean a thread, insult its creator, and try to make the people mentioned in the thread feel bad is simply inappropriate and I hope you understand that I would feel very uncomfortable apologizing for that kind of activity.

Sack

 

[fairysong]

So's going au naturel.

so true, so true

 

[CharleyH]

Let me put it this way: Prince Harry didn't mean to insult anyone with his Afrikaners Corps costume. He didn't mean to dredge up painful memories for God knows how many people by wearing a Swastika on his arm. He was wearing a fancy-dress costume. It's not his fault that people got the wrong interpretation. It's not his fault that several Jewish groups have 'made asses out of themselves for running with their insecure emotions.'

Do you think he should apologise for this serious misjudgement of how his costume would appear to other people?

The Earl

Well, I don't know, oh I have hear rumours about what people have their panties or boxers in a bunch about. HOWEVER, at defense of Harry (Just a bad name, anyhow) would we all get upset if he was into SM and showed up in the same uniform????

Doubt it.

Media frenzy, bad ass. No not kosher, but really . . . what about the Japanese against the Chinese, similar in that time. What about today? Are we so immune to it happening again, in our own country? SM/Part costume . . .what is the problem . . . if it is remembered, and so it should be. Should we just delete it, quash it? I think, in no harm, as I believe it was no harm . . . a costume is usually associated with Hallowe'en - horror. What is bad about recalling that?

 

[Guest]

Sack protesteth too much now.

Perdita

 

[sack]

Oh good....

That means I wasn't protesting too much BEFORE!!

Sack

 

[fairysong]

Re: Oh good....

That means I wasn't protesting too much BEFORE!!

Sack

LOL


I'm actually liking this thread

 

[moonlight elf]

Re: Oh good....

That means I wasn't protesting too much BEFORE!!

Sack

Please don't tell me this is still going on.

I personally was not offended by your thread and i understand how some could have been. In fact i understand both sides and I really think that neither is to blame.

I think that the original thread could have been done a bit differently, yes but your intentions were good. I also think that fairysong is right and we should be able to get past this.

As humans we make mistakes but as humans we also have to ability to forgive and forget.

hugs
moonlight

 

[TheEarl]

Re: I figured out what was bothering me...

about your two examples, Earl. Prince Harry's hijinks and your earlier example about running around a corner and hitting someone are things that most people would perceive as "negative." So, I agree if you do a negative thing, even by accident, an apology isn't a bad idea.

No. Prince Harry's hijinks are something that you percieve as negative. I'm sure he thought it was a great costume. Not his fault that you've got the wrong impression.

Anyway, do you not think that making someone upset, even by accident, is a negative thing?

However, what I did was not a negative thing. I wanted to recognize the stories and contributions of people close to me in the AH. Perhaps the manner in which I did this is something others wouldn't have done themselves, but that's irrelevant really. It was my thread, and I had the option of structuring my thoughts any way I saw fit.

True. Free speech allows you to say whatever you like. However the impression that you're giving is that you don't give a damn how anyone percieves you. Nobody else's opinion is valid unless they agree with the exact interpretation that you laid down. Can't you see how self-involved you're sounding?

There were many clues that the list was positive, and even funny in places. So, if people want to change it into something negative just to gripe and complain, that really has nothing to do with me. If individuals had questions about the list, or my reason for creating it, they could have asked in the thread itself and I would have answered them. That would be fair, and what any reasonable person would do. But to demean a thread, insult its creator, and try to make the people mentioned in the thread feel bad is simply inappropriate and I hope you understand that I would feel very uncomfortable apologizing for that kind of activity.

Sack

Oh I'm sure that everyone who was upset just twisted your words just to get upset. I'm sure they liked it. It had nothing to do with their personal feelings; they were just looking for an excuse to get mad at Sack.

My gripe has nothing to do with your reasons. I honestly believe that you had no bad intentions. My gripe is that the way you expressed yourself was insensitive. Yes, free speech means you can say what the hell you like. But your choice of words unintentionally hurt people. You accept this. Yet you still don't have the manners to say "I'm sorry."

You're not less of a man if you apologise and we won't think you're admitting you did something wrong. In fact, I'll think you're more of a man if you can summon up the bollocks to be nice to people.

The Earl

 

[TheEarl]

Re: Re: Oh good....

Please don't tell me this is still going on.

I personally was not offended by your thread and i understand how some could have been. In fact i understand both sides and I really think that neither is to blame.

I think that the original thread could have been done a bit differently, yes but your intentions were good. I also think that fairysong is right and we should be able to get past this.

As humans we make mistakes but as humans we also have to ability to forgive and forget.

hugs
moonlight

Moonlight: I'm sorry. I'm the one who's dragging this out and I do apologise. It's not a case of blame though; it's a case of recalcitrance and rudeness and I'm sincerely disappointed that Sack can't seem to understand.

The Earl

 

[moonlight elf]

Re: Re: Re: Oh good....

Moonlight: I'm sorry. I'm the one who's dragging this out and I do apologise. It's not a case of blame though; it's a case of recalcitrance and rudeness and I'm sincerely disappointed that Sack can't seem to understand.

The Earl

Apology accepted, although I wasn't really looking for one. However, the gesture is appreciated and I believe I understand what you are saying.

I guess I have too much of a soft heart but I like to think well of everyone. I just wish both parties could shake hands and put this incident behind them.

Hugs
moonlight

 

[TheEarl]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh good....

Apology accepted, although I wasn't really looking for one. However, the gesture is appreciated and I believe I understand what you are saying.

I guess I have too much of a soft heart but I like to think well of everyone. I just wish both parties could shake hands and put this incident behind them.

Hugs
moonlight

To be honest, I think the people whose feelings were hurt have moved way way on. I myself was in Sack's list (at number 2 if memory serves), but I was upset that some of my friends were upset and Sack's belligerence did nothing to ease their feelings.

It's just me, trying to understand. So it is entirely my fault. Sorry again.

The Earl