Alex's Daily One Liner Thread

[AlexGordon]

My mind works like lightning: one brilliant flash and it is gone...

(Love the thread, Alex!)

Loved your one liner, SJ ...

 

[AlexGordon]

And remember this:

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

 

[AlexGordon]

Self-raising! Bwhahaha and I'm not thinking of flour either

Easy, tiger ...

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ4rLW7ZaVM8V_wcm972ziX5a6Je0AnJRHcpsaprezckuTJuJFqQg

 

[Lord_Nibiru]

What year did Jesus think it was? (George Carlin)


that line always makes me giggle haha.

 

[TomBoner]

You go friggin' tiger!!! ...

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ4rLW7ZaVM8V_wcm972ziX5a6Je0AnJRHcpsaprezckuTJuJFqQg

Just don't drive into any fire hydrants when you're done. Doesn't ever end up well for tigers, ya know?!?

 

[TomBoner]

If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.

 

[ga400us]

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

 

[AlexGordon]

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

 

[AlexGordon]

I went to the zoo the other day, and there nothing there apart from one dog; it was a shitzu.

 

[TomBoner]

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

 

[Zoe_A_2222]

http://www.dailywritingtips.com/wp-content/uploads/what-is-irony.jpg




Hiya Alex

 

[Indienne]

Boycott shampoo! Demand real poo!

 

[AlexGordon]

Boycott shampoo! Demand real poo!

LOL!!

 

[AlexGordon]

http://www.dailywritingtips.com/wp-content/uploads/what-is-irony.jpg


Hiya Alex

Like it, Zoe ...

 

[AlexGordon]

Something I realised last night as I sat in the cell at the police station: there’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

 

[Indienne]

What do you call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.

 

[Lord_Nibiru]

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

 

[AlexGordon]

http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/pirate_keyboard.jpg

 

[TomBoner]

I thought you needed at least a, g, and h too! ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Morning Alex.

A procrastinator's work is never done.

 

[AlexGordon]

I thought you needed at least a, g, and h too! ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Morning Alex.

A procrastinator's work is never done.

Morning, Tom!

*************

Should lesbians be allowed to use dildos?

They made their choice, didn't they?

 

[OxfordDon]

I rang the bookshop the other day..

The lady said "Can I help you?"

I said..."No thanks - just browsing..."

 

[AlexGordon]

I rang the bookshop the other day..

The lady said "Can I help you?"

I said..."No thanks - just browsing..."

Like it, Don!

 

[ga400us]

I really didn't say everything I said. ~ Yogi Berra

 

[Lord_Nibiru]

I rang the bookshop the other day..

The lady said "Can I help you?"

I said..."No thanks - just browsing..."

haha


War does not determine who is right - only who is left.


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

 

[TomBoner]

I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.