Alex's Daily One Liner Thread

[AlexGordon]

Conjunctivitis.com

That’s a site for sore eyes ...

 

[AlexGordon]

I swallowed some Tippex last night. Woke up with a massive correction.

 

[TomBoner]

I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.

 

[AlexGordon]

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSUAMV56NQfnB-JfRUvh2dpqPeI-MHb7S7TlNf1dQiCOcS8qBPSEg

 

[ga400us]

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

 

[AlexGordon]

When my grandfather became ill, my grandmother greased his back. After that, he went downhill very quickly.

 

[AlexGordon]

David Cameron says he'll put a cap on immigrants coming into the UK. That's wrong. Immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.

 

[ga400us]

An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away. ~ Mae West

 

[Zoe_A_2222]

http://www.tatouagedesigns.com/photos/WVW1182-1.jpg

 

[ga400us]

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Douglas Adams

 

[Marguerite01]

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." Oscar Wilde

 

[TomBoner]

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

 

[TomBoner]

Haikus are easy.
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.

 

[TomBoner]

Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things.

Does anybody have a clue on where Alex is these days?

 

[Zoe_A_2222]

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.






Tom, I haven t seen Alex around lately. Hope he is ok.

Maybe he's part of the Olympics Squad

 

[1sickbastard]

Do I need a reason to be arbitrary?

 

[TomBoner]

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

 

[TomBoner]

Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.

 

[TomBoner]

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

 

[TomBoner]

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

 

[TomBoner]

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

 

[TomBoner]

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

 

[GiggLeGasm]

Haikus are easy.
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.

^ made me laugh out loud

 

[papadoc19]

^ made me laugh out loud

I was a big fan of your haikus...

 

[TomBoner]

^ made me laugh out loud

Glad you enjoyed.

How can men use sex to get what they want? Sex IS what they want.