ARCHIVAL DISCUSSION to 11-14-08

[Pure]

Note:

Although it's handy for my screenname to mark 'official' stories, it's causing problems as people's wordprocessing is filtered through my settings.

In the future, each person will post his or her own, and introduce him/herself. The distinction of 'official selections' will show in the use of this format for the thread title:

"Grassroots Disc. Holly Golightly, 11-05-2004; SDC main queue."

So the 'Thread started by' column will contain the author's name, not mine.

That way, a person may access his/her story to make corrections and is responsible for making it accessible to readers. If I have introductory comments, they will be placed just after the story in a posting under my screenname.

This will minimize compatibility problems, I hope. It's worth a try at least. Let's see how it goes.

pure
traffic director

 

[Pure]

mab asked about the questions I posted, and about Killer M.

I haven't heard from here[her] or seen any sign of her around Lit lately.

The quesions are purely for fun, though they represent a tipping of the hat to Killer. I thought 'literary analysis' might have its usefulness; not obligatory.

Things are going to proceed 'grassroots' style, I hope. I'll direct traffic for now, if mab, black, rumple and others are supportive and supporting.

 

[Black Tulip]

mab asked about the questions I posted, and about Killer M.

I haven't heard from here or seen any sign of her around Lit lately.

The quesions are purely for fun, though they represent a tipping of the hat to Killer. I thought 'literary analysis' might have its usefulness; not obligatory.

Things are going to proceed 'grassroots' style, I hope. I'll direct traffic for now, if mab, black, rumple and others are supportive and supporting.

I find it a very useful and fun part of Literotica.
So, you've got my contribution for as much as possible.

Right now I got myself involved with that madness called NaNoWriMo.

 

[MLyons]

I'm still here.

Been a bit on the obsessively busy side lately, finally finishing a new story of my own--which is why my ctriquing has slacked off a bit. I apologize for that, but I do plan on getting back into the swing of things now that my new one is submitted.

I'd even offer it up for some questions in the "non-evaluative critique" vein, as Pure calls it. Since I've spent several months with it, and it's the very best I could do, I expect I will not be changing it. But having people discuss it's successes and failures might improve my future work.

The only problem is that it's very long... (about 21,400 words, or a tiny bit over 6 Lit pages)--too long I dare say to ask people here to devote that much time to it. I'm afraid I'm partial to longer works, and I don't expect that will change in the future--so I probably write myself out of the ability to get critiqued in the circle.

Anyway... The point is, I'm still here.

 

[Pure]

Hey ML, Mab?

We are open for stories for today.

I think in general we should observe around a 4000 wd limit, and very rarely ask for feedback on more than 6000.

If ML or anyone has an excerpt, or wishes me to create one by crudely hacking away anything GWB couldn't follow, let me know.

Mab?

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

MLyons, Pure, et al,

Would it be possible to post the opening to your story? If it has a logical break somewhere around 4000 words, why not post that much? I'm not aware of any rule against excerpts and as we all know openings are critical to a story's success.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[MLyons]

Hm...

I COULD do that, but as I said this is not a work in progress. This story is finished. It's been looked at and reacted to by several generous friends during the five months it's been in development. If I'm going to have it critiqued, I would want the whole thing critiqued, not just a part of it--as I would be most interested in larger questions such as my success or failure at exploring themes and my clumsy attempt at characterization and arcs, in addition to the usual questions like "is it hot?"

That's just my choice. I'm not complaining, though, or wishing that anything was different. I really understand that there's a limit to the number of words we can reasonably expect people to read and react to here.

Don't get me wrong. I'm here because I enjoy the interaction... not because I'm looking to get my due by having my own story looked at. I have developed a pretty amazing support system for that kind of thing already--thanks principally to my interactions in the circle. I do hope that someone will step in with a story of appropriate size (or an excerpt) they would like looked at. Mab? I'd LOVE to get a gander at one of your works in progress....

As a critiquer, though, if it IS just an excerpt, I would still want acceess to the rest of the story so that if I choose to read it and react to the whole thing, I can.

 

[Pure]

OK, ML,

How about this.

Post about 4000 with a summary of the rest. In a separate posting (immediately after), same thread, post the rest. IOW give people an option.

 

[TheEarl]

Oh my good god, this place has changed since I was last in here. What the latest story up to critique? Are we looking for new victi... sorry willing volunteers to put up stories? If so where do I go?

The Earl

 

[Pure]

Yes, Earl, and all,

volunteers are needed for several slots, including immediately(this week of Nov 7). i thought that was clear.

mlyons and i have reached a deal for next Sun, though.

Earl, as before, each story for critique has its own thread. IT's now marked Grassroots Disc, with a date; check the most recent one or ones.

 

[Varian P]

I've got one

Hi Pure,
If there's still a gap for the remainder of this week, I have a new piece that's recently posted, and I'd love to get feedback on it as it's my attempt at something very different from my other writing. It's 5700 words.
This is the link:

Vaughn's Diary

 

[TheEarl]

Sorry about the stupid questions Pure. The place has changed out of all recognition since I was last here and I wanted to make sure I wasn't doing things wrong.

My story for sacrificial burning is Comfort Food. It's one of my favourite stories and I know of people who have liked it, but the general populace haven't taken to it as I'd have liked. Be careful what you say, for your comments may result in a rewrite .

Questions:
1. Do you believe in Amy as a character?
2. Is her mental transition smooth and believable, or are there points where it jars?
3. It's not my driving force, but why do you think it didn't attract the voters?
4. Do you like the resolution?

The Earl

 

[Pure]

Story for Nov 7 week, from The Earl

OK, the Earl,

Let's go with your story, this week. IF you haven't offered a second critique, I'm taking it on trust that you'll do so.

I'll start the thread, maybe you can repost your questions there.

Welcome back to this changed world. (Abandon hope, all ye....)

 

[TheEarl]

Trusting me? How interesting...

I'll get another critique in soon, don't worry. Man of my word.

The Earl

 

[Mark James]

New Writer Seeks Feedback

Thanks Pure, here's the edited version:

Hi Everyone:


I'm new to Literotica and I've just posted a fairly long short story. It falls into the category of Gay BDSM. It's posted in the Gay Male category.

I'm posting here because the opportunity to get genuine feedback is a rarity for most writers.

Please be warned, this story is not mainstream, nor is it intended to be. It's a heavy duty S&M story that involves sex between two men.

My goal is to write gay generational stories about powerful men who enjoy making other men their "boys". I basically write about a Daddy and boy kind of relationship. I mean "Daddy" in the sense in which it is used in the world of S&M, not incest. The setting is in a fantasy world. All my slaveboy characters are intended to be at least eighteen years old.

If any of the topics above offend you, DON'T read my story. You won't like it.

However, if you like your stories on the very rough side, please feel free to read it.

Again, this story is NOT mainstream. Please do not read it if you are offended by male/male sex or BDSM or humiliation or discipline or very rough sex.


The story name is "Assassins After Dark".


I anticipate participating in discussions mostly on the weekends. If I haven't posted this in the right place, please be so kind as to let me know and I'll amend my posting.

Thanks in advance for your time and support

Mark

 

[Pure]

Mark, Varian, MLyons

Mark, there's a queue, so you cant officially go on for a couple weeks because of previous agreements.

And you need to have offered a couple critiques, so have a look at the threads with the most recent dates, called 'grassroots discussion.'

It would be appropriate if you delete the solicitation and url portion of your posting, and just left the bio, and that you have a story.

Varian, I think I didn't see your note till just now, Wed. Sorry. How about you going this Sun, 11-15.

Mlyons would therefore be the following Sun.

 

[Varian P]

Re: Mark, Varian, MLyons

Varian, I think I didn't see your note till just now, Wed. Sorry. How about you going this Sun, 11-15.

Mlyons would therefore be the following Sun.

No, no--MLyons was queued up before me, and I don't want to pre-empt (unless, of course, the two of you came to some arrangement behind the scenes and MLyons wants to go later?)

And no need to apologize if you missed my post. I'm in no hurry--just thought I'd step in if there was a gap.

-Varian

 

[Pure]

OK, MLyons this sun 11-14 and Varian after 11-21.

Mark James is unknown as to participation, which will determine his position, if any, in the queue; straight solicitation of 'free feedback' should go to the Story Feedback area.

 

[Pure]

Hi Mark,
It seems like you've joined in, well.
So you, in my view, should have an option for this Sunday, bumping Varian and others forward in time.
Is this ok, with everyone?
Mark, are you around?

 

[Mark James]

Hi Mark,
It seems like you've joined in, well.
So you, in my view, should have an option for this Sunday, bumping Varian and others forward in time.
Is this ok, with everyone?
Mark, are you around?

Hi Pure:

I've been out of circulation because of a class that I had to take for work. It's over now, but I still have to study for my state license. After that, I will have more time on my hands. Sunday the 20th is fine with me.

Do I need to post specific questions?

Please let me know

MJ

 

[Pure]

I'd like to find out what people think of our running longer pieces, with a 'stopping point' for the lazy/busy?

We're now up in the 10,000 word area sometimes, and it used to be 4000 or under?

I believe one Literorica page is 1500 word or so. One standard book page is 5-600 words, roughly.

What should our policy, guidelines?

 

[Black Tulip]

Right now I'm so busy I do not even have the time to look at the threads, let alone participate.
If I do however, I prefer the medium sized stories, around 5000 words.

It's not a problem to post longer stories if there is a stopping point. You can decide for yourself if you want to read all of it or not.

 

[Varian P]

Well, since I'm one of the culprits, chronically unable to write so much as a chapter in under 10,000 words, I guess you know what I think.

I enjoy longer works, the level of development and immersion they allow, but it's hard work, critiquing those long pieces, I know. And I confess, when it comes to the SDC, when a nice short piece comes up, I occasionally go, "whew!"

I think, though, that part of the reason the longer pieces seem so daunting is the level of detail many of us are focusing on in our critiques.

I, for one, would be happy as both author and critic if there was an arrangement where those offering shorter pieces would get the microscope treatment--critiques that get down to the nuances of lines of prose, as well as larger issues of character development etc., and those submitting the mammoth epics could get critiques in broader strokes. That way people with limited time could, in effect, just read through the piece at a single go, then give their overarching impressions of whatever big picture issues the author suggests for points of focus. Of course, anyone with infinite quantities of free time and boundless generosity could still do the really in-depth feedback, if they wanted.

Just a thought on an alternative to the optional stopping point for longer pieces. I'd be curious to hear if those with preferences for shorter pieces think that would make the burden bearable, and if those who write longer pieces would find that a satisfactory arrangement.

See, I can barely manage a post in under 10,000 words. Sheesh.

-Varian

 

[Den Sel]

Volunteering

I would like to offer up a story segment (2 different scenes really) for review. It is provisionally titled NYMPHETTE and is 2,700 words long.

I have paid my dues under a different name (Pure knows).

I will be off-line during the last three weeks of December though. So, it should either go up before then or in January (I am in no hurry).

Thanks.

 

[MLyons]

To answer Pure's question:

As a critiquer--

I have a porblem with the SDC limiting the size of the stories that can be offered up for critique here. I enjoy longer stories, and I would hate to see them discriminated against. If someone only wants to read a section of it, or if the author has a particular, shorter section they'd like reviewed by people who don't have the time to devote to the longer work, I'm all for it, but I'd hate to see a hard and fast rule set down limiting the number of words in a story to be reviewed. As a reviewer, I've been known to read other stories by the same author to get a feel for their other work when I review one of their stories. I've also been known to read an entire series of stories (in the case of Psychocatblah's "The Ends" it was upwards of 20 chapters) so that I could critique the story from the perspective of having read everything I could get my hands on. I understand the time constraints that some are under, but my preference would be to welcome all comers. Let the reviewers decide how much they want to read. Perhaps all that would be necessary in that case is a warning to those with longer stories that the longer the story, the fewer the number of respondents they may receive.

That's my preference anyway, for what it's worth.