Ask Doctor Liz ... Again

[ShaneoD]

It is.

Fess up health nut!



Dear Shanie,

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your near miss with No Nut November! Tell me, did they really ... you know ... turn blue at any point? I'm doing a research paper on blue balls. That's why I'm asking btw. It's purely professional. YOU HAVE TO TELL ME!!!!

I'm actually a little disappointed my little side hustle here didn't hustle much why I was away tending to a VERY weird but sometimes wonderful situation.

I might just drop the key to the front door down this drain, walk away and never come back .....


- Doctor It Sucks Not Being Needed Anymore Liz

Dear Dr Liz

You're always needed and if you ever crawl out from underneath that mountain of PM's I'm sure you'll feel it.

As far a blue balls goes I only managed an accidental phase of 5 days and then 7 days. The 5 wasn't overly bad. A couple of flirty texts from someone I've sexted with before did prologue the 7 day one from a 4 day one, I might have regretted holding out for that one

So yeah keep your side hustle going, and all of your other threads, and maybe the odd new one, you might just be the reason someone else makes an account all over again.

 

[LizVegas79]

This picture will ensure my balls go from blue to purple!

Hmmm ... that sounds very problematic - especially because purple is my favorite color!

Dear Dr Liz

You're always needed and if you ever crawl out from underneath that mountain of PM's I'm sure you'll feel it.

As far a blue balls goes I only managed an accidental phase of 5 days and then 7 days. The 5 wasn't overly bad. A couple of flirty texts from someone I've sexted with before did prologue the 7 day one from a 4 day one, I might have regretted holding out for that one

So yeah keep your side hustle going, and all of your other threads, and maybe the odd new one, you might just be the reason someone else makes an account all over again.

Thanks, Shanie. That's so sweet.

So really you had a Double Nut November? Or was that the flavor of the month at Starbucks last month? lol

Ugh. My PM's. There's over 50. I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to get to them all .....

(to everyone who has written to me and not gotten any response back yet I'm so, SOOOOO sorry! It's going to take me hours and I have to start to get ready for work tonight)

 

[Apisto42]

I would like you better if you had a problem you wanted my help with - jk


Doesn't ANYONE around here need non-professional advice about their psycho-sexual problems anymore?!!!

Jeez, what a bunch of fuckin' health nuts!!!

Does your advice still come with a side taco?

Still hungry

 

[LizVegas79]

Does your advice still come with a side taco?

Still hungry

Nope. My advice does not come with a side taco.

It comes with a perfectly normal taco that's right in the middle where it's supposed to be! Why? Want to see?

 

[LizVegas79]

Someone sent me this and asked me if my sybian makes me forget my own name sometimes.

The answer is yes. Yes they do.

And I'm not the only one I assure you!

Do sybians cause temporary memory loss?


- Doctor "I Totally Forget My Own Name Sometimes" Liz


(I'm obvs not riding my sybbie right now LOL)

 

[ShaneoD]

Someone sent me this and asked me if my sybian makes me forget my own name sometimes.

The answer is yes. Yes they do.

And I'm not the only one I assure you!

Do sybians cause temporary memory loss?


- Doctor "I Totally Forget My Own Name Sometimes" Liz


(I'm obvs not riding my sybbie right now LOL)

Dammit Dr Liz gives an imagination piece to us and I'm on a sleepover and can't even fully enjoy it for another 27 hours

 

[investor2020]

Dr. Liz, I did not realize that riding the Sybian required chains and hand restraints !

BTW, do you still have the same one from back in the Infamous Hummingbird Caper days? And if so, how many times has it required maintenance repairs from overuse? Prospective gift giver would like to know.

 

[LizVegas79]

Dammit Dr Liz gives an imagination piece to us and I'm on a sleepover and can't even fully enjoy it for another 27 hours

Poor baby. Are you going to have to keep it in your pants for a whole 27 hours? I bet it's going to be really, really hard, isn't it?

 

[Lorelei907]

Someone sent me this and asked me if my sybian makes me forget my own name sometimes.

The answer is yes. Yes they do.

And I'm not the only one I assure you!

Do sybians cause temporary memory loss?


- Doctor "I Totally Forget My Own Name Sometimes" Liz


(I'm obvs not riding my sybbie right now LOL)

Jealous, Sweetie!

 

[LizVegas79]

Dr. Liz, I did not realize that riding the Sybian required chains and hand restraints !

BTW, do you still have the same one from back in the Infamous Hummingbird Caper days? And if so, how many times has it required maintenance repairs from overuse? Prospective gift giver would like to know.

They do not. BUT it is an optional choice I would love, Love, LOVE to try someday!!!

I do. It has been getting more use lately too since our houseguest moved in with us. But it's still going strong. They're built to last it seems!

 

[ShaneoD]

Poor baby. Are you going to have to keep it in your pants for a whole 27 hours? I bet it's going to be really, really hard, isn't it?

As soon as I sent it I thought balls I E fed into a fantasy, I should be smart and avoid that video before bed tonight, but we both know me.

 

[investor2020]

But it's still going strong. They're built to last it seems!

Apparently, so do the users !

 

[LizVegas79]

Apparently, so do the users !

Only about 10 minutes! LOL

(and sometimes not much more than 5! )

 

[LizVegas79]

"You don't have to tell me what's been bothering you sweetie.
But trust me, you will. Eventually. You're going to tell me every
single dirty little secret or I'm going to be very, very disappointed
with you. Understand? Okay, so let's begin."

 

[whenagain]

"You don't have to tell me what's been bothering you sweetie.
But trust me, you will. Eventually. You're going to tell me every
single dirty little secret or I'm going to be very, very disappointed
with you. Understand? Okay, so let's begin."

I’m a little bothered that I’m caving in so easily.

 

[LizVegas79]

I’m a little bothered that I’m caving in so easily.

Don't beat yourself up, sweetie. You're only human and on top of that, you're just a guy. You're supposed to cave super easily.

If you didn't I would cry and have to crawl inside a bottle and never come out.

 

[LizVegas79]

I still have over 50 PM's in my Inbox. I'm probably never going to get caught up on all of them.

But there was one that I wish a certain frustrated husband who shall remain nameless had posted on here because it's something many horny husbands, and frustrated wives, have asked me in the past.

Basically, he was asking what he could do to reignite the sexual relationship he and his wife once had. They're both in their mid to late 40's, their kids are away in college but there's still stress and business in their lives that seems to be getting in the way of them getting together a little more frequently.

This is the advice I gave him. I hope it rings true for others in the same boat too:

Hi there. Thank you for writing. I understand not wanting to share your situation publicly but I wish you would have asked this in my ADL thread because a lot of husbands, and wives believe it or not, are in this very exact same situation that you are.

So, on the one hand, good news, you are not alone.

But, bad news, everyone's relationship with sex changes as they age.

GENERALLY, the libidos of most women in their mid to late 40's tend to surpass that of their relatively same age husbands for awhile. That's because our hormones generally go cra-cra for awhile after we can (or should) no longer have kids. However, sometimes the reverse does happen, where our libidos actually decrease.

More often than not though, as women age they become more and more insecure about their bodies and their looks. Especially if they were use to being told how attractive or pretty or beautiful they were when they were younger. Believe me, they notice each and every wrinkle, gray hair, extra pound, and extra wiggle even more than you do.

That hyper awareness causes stress and stress is probably just about the #1 libido killer in both women, and I believe in men, too.

Instead of "talking to her about it again", the best thing you can do is to start complimenting her on her appearance.

Even if it's just how the morning sunshine hits her just the right way in the kitchen while she's making breakfast or doing some chores.

Then, up the frequency of those compliments a little. Don't overdue it or she might think you're acting suspicious. But try complimenting her about any new clothes she has bought or haircuts she has gotten. If she flashes a little leg when she's unloading groceries from the car tell her she still has great legs. If she bends down to hand you a cup of coffee or something, let her catch you staring at her little hint of cleavage and compliment and tell her you've "always loved" her boobs. (note: if she regularly flashes a lot of leg or a lot of cleavage she is dying for you (or anyone) to notice her!) Subconsciously or not, she is crying out for a compliment.

If she's more subtle or refined in the way she dresses and presents herself, take it slow.

When she starts feeling more beautiful and appreciated for her looks I can almost guarantee you that she will respond better to your advances and sexual suggestions.

Those advances and suggestions btw need to be more romantic at first than overtly sexual. For instance, buy her a nice bouquet of flowers for no special reason or take her out to dinner on the spur of the moment. It doesn't even have to be on a Friday or Saturday night. Buy her a nice bouquet of flowers and cook her favorite meal and open a nice bottle of wine on a Friday or Saturday night when it's just the two of you.

And don't forget to do a little personal grooming of your own. Shower, shave, dress up a little when you take her out. Treat her like it's your first, second and third date all over again. That nervous excitement is a powerful, powerful aphrodisiac for women and THEN lean in for that kiss. Cop a feel. Climb on top of her and tell her you "need" her or "want" her.

Woo the fuck out of her a little and she'll be more likely to melt in your hands and shed all her inhibitions!

Start with seemingly random compliments and see how she responds. She may not believe you at first but keep doing it. (this could take a month or more btw so be patient)

Unless she's one of the unlucky ones and things are drying up down there faster than do for the rest of us! Then you might be out of luck. Even kinky suggestions after you get her feeling good about herself again probably won't help relight those fires if that's the case.

Good luck!

Please, please, please let me know how it goes!


Dr. "All Hope Is NOT Lost" Liz

 

[mpeters]

Ok Dr. Liz, let’s see if you can help me out some…

So I am a married white male, 61 years of age, tall, and you could say I have a bigger dad bod. My wife and I have been married about 17 years, but we stopped having sex about 10 years ago. It’s not that my wife lost interest, I’ve lost interest in sex with her for a number of reasons, probably chief among them is that I feel like she doesn’t respect me at all, she criticizes me all the time, I can’t talk to her about anything without feeling worse about it than at the beginning of the conversation, and my kids picked up on that and treat me just as bad.

But that’s not what I need help with. I’m kind of stuck there until the kids are grown up basically or until I win the lottery, or die (it’s a possibility, in seven years I’ll be the same age as my dad when he passed).

No, here’s the real situation : after all this time, I am tired of masturbation and want the human touch again, and I have to look for it elsewhere. I have been trying to find someone using Adult Friend Finder, Doublelist, and Reddit (all recommended) but nothing has happened there.

I have never been good at flirting, and I’m enough on the autism spectrum that I tend to get stuck trying the same approach over and over. It clearly doesn’t work. Maybe I’m being too honest or something. I don’t know. I’m sure the being married thing is a no-go for many, and if they say no married I don’t respond, same who have other specifics I don’t fit.

Do you have any suggestions to help me out, or should I just go to a massage place for a happy ending once a month and be happy with that?

 

[Apisto42]

Nope. My advice does not come with a side taco.

It comes with a perfectly normal taco that's right in the middle where it's supposed to be! Why? Want to see?

Always.

Any advice on satisfying a hunger when you can only look at pictures of food?

 

[Apisto42]

I still have over 50 PM's in my Inbox. I'm probably never going to get caught up on all of them.

But there was one that I wish a certain frustrated husband who shall remain nameless had posted on here because it's something many horny husbands, and frustrated wives, have asked me in the past.

Basically, he was asking what he could do to reignite the sexual relationship he and his wife once had. They're both in their mid to late 40's, their kids are away in college but there's still stress and business in their lives that seems to be getting in the way of them getting together a little more frequently.

This is the advice I gave him. I hope it rings true for others in the same boat too:

Hi there. Thank you for writing. I understand not wanting to share your situation publicly but I wish you would have asked this in my ADL thread because a lot of husbands, and wives believe it or not, are in this very exact same situation that you are.

So, on the one hand, good news, you are not alone.

But, bad news, everyone's relationship with sex changes as they age.

GENERALLY, the libidos of most women in their mid to late 40's tend to surpass that of their relatively same age husbands for awhile. That's because our hormones generally go cra-cra for awhile after we can (or should) no longer have kids. However, sometimes the reverse does happen, where our libidos actually decrease.

More often than not though, as women age they become more and more insecure about their bodies and their looks. Especially if they were use to being told how attractive or pretty or beautiful they were when they were younger. Believe me, they notice each and every wrinkle, gray hair, extra pound, and extra wiggle even more than you do.

That hyper awareness causes stress and stress is probably just about the #1 libido killer in both women, and I believe in men, too.

Instead of "talking to her about it again", the best thing you can do is to start complimenting her on her appearance.

Even if it's just how the morning sunshine hits her just the right way in the kitchen while she's making breakfast or doing some chores.

Then, up the frequency of those compliments a little. Don't overdue it or she might think you're acting suspicious. But try complimenting her about any new clothes she has bought or haircuts she has gotten. If she flashes a little leg when she's unloading groceries from the car tell her she still has great legs. If she bends down to hand you a cup of coffee or something, let her catch you staring at her little hint of cleavage and compliment and tell her you've "always loved" her boobs. (note: if she regularly flashes a lot of leg or a lot of cleavage she is dying for you (or anyone) to notice her!) Subconsciously or not, she is crying out for a compliment.

If she's more subtle or refined in the way she dresses and presents herself, take it slow.

When she starts feeling more beautiful and appreciated for her looks I can almost guarantee you that she will respond better to your advances and sexual suggestions.

Those advances and suggestions btw need to be more romantic at first than overtly sexual. For instance, buy her a nice bouquet of flowers for no special reason or take her out to dinner on the spur of the moment. It doesn't even have to be on a Friday or Saturday night. Buy her a nice bouquet of flowers and cook her favorite meal and open a nice bottle of wine on a Friday or Saturday night when it's just the two of you.

And don't forget to do a little personal grooming of your own. Shower, shave, dress up a little when you take her out. Treat her like it's your first, second and third date all over again. That nervous excitement is a powerful, powerful aphrodisiac for women and THEN lean in for that kiss. Cop a feel. Climb on top of her and tell her you "need" her or "want" her.

Woo the fuck out of her a little and she'll be more likely to melt in your hands and shed all her inhibitions!

Start with seemingly random compliments and see how she responds. She may not believe you at first but keep doing it. (this could take a month or more btw so be patient)

Unless she's one of the unlucky ones and things are drying up down there faster than do for the rest of us! Then you might be out of luck. Even kinky suggestions after you get her feeling good about herself again probably won't help relight those fires if that's the case.

Good luck!

Please, please, please let me know how it goes!


Dr. "All Hope Is NOT Lost" Liz

Most excellent advice. 5 stars, would recommend.

 

[LizVegas79]

Ok Dr. Liz, let’s see if you can help me out some…

So I am a married white male, 61 years of age, tall, and you could say I have a bigger dad bod. My wife and I have been married about 17 years, but we stopped having sex about 10 years ago. It’s not that my wife lost interest, I’ve lost interest in sex with her for a number of reasons, probably chief among them is that I feel like she doesn’t respect me at all, she criticizes me all the time, I can’t talk to her about anything without feeling worse about it than at the beginning of the conversation, and my kids picked up on that and treat me just as bad.

But that’s not what I need help with. I’m kind of stuck there until the kids are grown up basically or until I win the lottery, or die (it’s a possibility, in seven years I’ll be the same age as my dad when he passed).

No, here’s the real situation : after all this time, I am tired of masturbation and want the human touch again, and I have to look for it elsewhere. I have been trying to find someone using Adult Friend Finder, Doublelist, and Reddit (all recommended) but nothing has happened there.

I have never been good at flirting, and I’m enough on the autism spectrum that I tend to get stuck trying the same approach over and over. It clearly doesn’t work. Maybe I’m being too honest or something. I don’t know. I’m sure the being married thing is a no-go for many, and if they say no married I don’t respond, same who have other specifics I don’t fit.

Do you have any suggestions to help me out, or should I just go to a massage place for a happy ending once a month and be happy with that?

Dear Disrespected,

Thank you for being so honest. I really do appreciate it. I hope other guys will read your post and identify with how they may have disrespected and mistreated women in their lives and now better understand how they made those women feel and, perhaps, why any relationship with those women did NOT ever work out.

Feeling respected, valued and appreciated is a basic human need no matter if you're a man or a woman. And those feelings go a long way in determining the health of any relationship. Both ways in fact. Especially for a woman, but as you so eloquently and honestly pointed out, also for men too.

Boy, I learn something new every time I log onto Lit!

(and I hope others do too!)

So obviously you're not the kind of guy who WANTS to be teased and criticized and put down. Believe me, as a female who has been considered tall ever since the 4th grade I have met A LOT of those types of guys and, to be honest, on occasion I have fed their fantasy and been mean to very, very mean to them because that is wanted they either wanted or expected from me.

But that's not your scene so we won't go there.

It sounds to me like you are in a very emotionally vulnerable place because you have had to put up protective walls between you and your wife and your kids in order to protect your own sense of well being. First off, you should know you are not alone. There are A LOT of people, men and women, in your exact same position and it's a tough one.

As you may or may not already know from reading my posts and threads, I am a big believer that sex work should be legal. I actually live in a state where it is legal in some counties (not Clark County where Las Vegas is anymore though unfortunately). I myself have actually dabbled in the sex trade a bit and although I found that it wasn't quite for me, I do sympathize with and support both the buyers and sellers in what is, unfortunately, not an altogether safe marketplace.

Without knowing where you live (it's not important), massage parlor happy endings may indeed be your best short term solution.

But I encourage you to find a longer term, more satisfying solution too.

How does your wife feel about the lack of sex in her life? Do you have any suspicions that she might be having an affair? I don't know what the statistics are, but I assure you that a high percentage of sexually frustrated married women who do not respect (or it sounds like even like) their husband very often do have a sexual relationship with someone else going on the side. I'm sorry to be so blunt but it's true. What's worse, you need to be okay with it if you have any hope of your relationship with your wife improving.

If talking about sex or the possibility of sex with your wife is not an option, then yes, by all means do what you can to turn to a professional for warmth and comfort and yes, the occasional orgasm or two. But be aware that not all sex workers are saints and more often than not you get what you pay for so I would advise not to try to skimp when it comes to budgeting for your necessary fun.

The last time I had reason to visit AFF (Adult Friend Finder) it was pretty clear who the professionals were and who the scammers were. Look for ads that talk about roses. Specifically anyone that puts roses in their profile. These tend to be professionals who expect to be paid for their services. The good news is, in my experience finding playmates for some of our hornier VIP guests, the pictures on these kinds of profiles 9x out of 10 pretty much match who is going to show up at your predesignated hotel room. BUT: that might just be a Vegas thing. I'm not sure if the match rate is as high elsewhere so check and ask around.

When I suggest ask around, I would advise starting out at your favorite non-local bar. If you don't have a favorite non-local bar, seek one out and discreetly ask the bartender or other patrons there. Bartenders usually know all kinds of fun and interesting and naughty things about their neighborhood (I use to be a bartender so I know for a fact this is true).

I've heard Reddit has a lot of catfish on it. But if I were you I would look at other dating websites and apps that have a large local userbase in your area. I would also try OnlyFans, even if you live in a small town or not near any major city. Many of the girls on there list the city where they are working from and many are available for "personal shows". If there's any doubt about whether they are actually a working girl or not, look for mention of roses or chocolate or other gifts required.

Good luck and please let me know how it goes.


- Doctor "How Do I Know So Much About This Stuff?" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

Always.

Any advice on satisfying a hunger when you can only look at pictures of food?

Sometimes when I'm hungry I look at pictures of what I'm hungry for.

 

[mpeters]

Dear Disrespected,

It sounds to me like you are in a very emotionally vulnerable place because you have had to put up protective walls between you and your wife and your kids in order to protect your own sense of well being. First off, you should know you are not alone. There are A LOT of people, men and women, in your exact same position and it's a tough one.

That’s hitting the nail on the head.

Without knowing where you live (it's not important), massage parlor happy endings may indeed be your best short term solution.

I did find one by accident the other week

But I encourage you to find a longer term, more satisfying solution too.

Trying!

How does your wife feel about the lack of sex in her life? Do you have any suspicions that she might be having an affair? I don't know what the statistics are, but I assure you that a high percentage of sexually frustrated married women who do not respect (or it sounds like even like) their husband very often do have a sexual relationship with someone else going on the side. I'm sorry to be so blunt but it's true. What's worse, you need to be okay with it if you have any hope of your relationship with your wife improving.

I doubt she’s having an affair herself, but she has several times reacted oddly to things as if I was hiding one myself (in our old house I had bookshelves set up so they sort of formed a hallway from the door to my home office so I could get wall space but she made me change that. These days she gets mad if I’m in my home office with the door locked because she says it’s like I’m having an affair. I have heard that someone who is having an affair will often accuse their partner of the same. If she is I’m fine with that, to be honest.

The last time I had reason to visit AFF (Adult Friend Finder) it was pretty clear who the professionals were and who the scammers were. Look for ads that talk about roses. Specifically anyone that puts roses in their profile. These tend to be professionals who expect to be paid for their services. The good news is, in my experience finding playmates for some of our hornier VIP guests, the pictures on these kinds of profiles 9x out of 10 pretty much match who is going to show up at your predesignated hotel room. BUT: that might just be a Vegas thing. I'm not sure if the match rate is as high elsewhere so check and ask around.

I did spend the money for a month long membership that didn’t go anywhere.

When I suggest ask around, I would advise starting out at your favorite non-local bar. If you don't have a favorite non-local bar, seek one out and discreetly ask the bartender or other patrons there. Bartenders usually know all kinds of fun and interesting and naughty things about their neighborhood (I use to be a bartender so I know for a fact this is true).

That is kind of problematic for me, as I usually don’t go out in the evenings.

Good luck and please let me know how it goes.

I will, thank you!

 

[Volk359]

I did spend the money for a month long membership that didn’t go anywhere.

Not surprised, I’ve wasted a fair amount of money there and found nothing but scammers. The precious and few women that were real were often offended to find out I was married and wouldn’t chat with me anymore. Don’t know why they were there in the first place. It was, and probably still is, a frustrating site.

 

[LizVegas79]

That's too bad. I haven't been on that site in a few years. I guess things change. Not always for the better. Ugh.