Ask Doctor Liz ... Again

[LizVegas79]

So yeah, Doc. I got a bit of an issue. I'm almost 37 and I still get erections like when I was 15. Seriously the drop of a hat, the wind blows right and I pop an Eiffel tower here. It takes a long time to go down, too. Is that normal at my age?

Dear At The Mercy Of The Weather,

NO!!!

NOT AT ALL!!!

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE make an appointment ASAP to see either me or one of my associates.

If need be, Nova, JJ and I will all clear our schedules to get on top of your problem as soon as you come in. Our patented, 100% guaranteed, never failed yet group therapy has never failed yet to help men with your "problem"!

Doctor "I've Always Wanted To See Paris" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

Dr. Liz,
There is a beautiful, married woman I work with that that I share a very flirty relationship with. There has been some intense sexual innuendo lately. Do you have any suggestions on how to see if there is something more then flirting in the future?

Signed,
Curious and hoping for fun

Dear Curious And Hoping,

Yes, there is absolutely something more than flirting that you can do!

Let's first start off with what NOT to do though:

#1 - do NOT take a picture of your hard cock at your desk or at her desk or the break room where you both work.

#2 - if you have a picture of your hard cock, do NOT send that picture to her in an email with the Subject line: 'So what do you think?' with a smiley face emoji. Even without the smiley face emoji - just DON'T do it, okay? Promise? I mean it. I know this probably sounds like a great idea to you, but trust me. Just don't, okay? I mean it. Promise okay?

#3 - do NOT wait for her in the parking lot after work or have a friend in Human Resources give you her address so that you can show up unannounced where she lives to "surprise" her.

Okay, now here's a few things to actually consider doing instead:

#1 - if sexual innuendos are frequent and "intense" ask her if she had fun "ringing" in the new year. Her answer will reveal the quality of her sexual relationship with her husband.

1b) If she did have fun, ask for details. Listen, smile, get turned on, but just be polite. And then ask if she did anything on her "sexual bucket list" - this will actually help get her to stop thinking about her husband and start thinking about you.

1c) If she did NOT have fun ringing in the new year, go straight to asking what is on her sexual bucket list. Whether she tells you or defers or demures, ask what her plans for Valentine's Day are. If you get another "nothing" or no fireworks/no romance answer, ask her what her plans are for "the day AFTER Valentine's Day" - this will get her to associate you with her sexual bucket list. What happens after that is up to you. And her. If she wants you to ask her out, she'll let you know

Doctor "Tell Me About Your Sexual Bucket List" Liz

 

[JerseyJade]

I'll be there in a sec!

Just finishing up with three ... well, now just two ... oh wait, only one more patient to go .... oops! viola! there! All done!

Umm, could someone hand me a couple of tissues please?

And maybe a couple of Tic Tac's too, thanks .....

So now you're doing my job, Liz? I know I said I was going to be a little late today, but they would have waited I'm sure.

 

[LizVegas79]

So now you're doing my job, Liz? I know I said I was going to be a little late today, but they would have waited I'm sure.

What can I say? It's important to hydrate when you live in the desert.

Plus, there was a huge line in the Waiting Room and I was here all by myself so I just did what any responsible business owner would do - I got down to business!!

 

[clistenovena]

Have a safe trip Tan! And ask if they have an installment plan. Or tell them I'll trade some Taco Therapy for the next shipment. They can have their choice of JJ or Nova or have them both, it doesn't matter to me - just get our Whiskey Therapy Room back up to speed or your ass is in big trouble! :caning:

~silently hoping there will be a delay 'cause I'm kinda hoping to see Liz in action when someone's ass gets in big trouble~

JJ and Nova will be more than willing to make it up to any and all of you anyway that you poor, wonderful pervs desire.

JJ, Liz sure is fast and loose with tossing our names out there for use, isn't she?

Gotta love that in a boss.

Nova, as soon as you're done memorizing every single trick in this book could you return it to the waiting room please? Everyone wants to "read" it all of a sudden.

But then they'll "read" it and get it all sticky and goopy!

If only Jason Momoa owed me a favor I'd call him up and tell him to throw a bearskin on and get over her STAT!

Thank you for that Freudian slip. 'Cause Jason Momoa!

Umm, could someone hand me a couple of tissues please?

*This* is why I'm reluctant to pass along my book!

And maybe a couple of Tic Tac's too, thanks

Here you go.
http://www.destockplus.co.uk/upload/thumbs/tic-tac-9cnwkv-53ddff.jpg

That's strange, Nova. You told me my hand prints on your ass looked hot and that you "weren't sure" you learned your lesson last year

Would *I* say something like that??

Hells yeah, I would.

 

[JerseyJade]

JJ, Liz sure is fast and loose with tossing our names out there for use, isn't she?

Gotta love that in a boss.

I know, right? It's almost like she's giving us a raise.

Speaking of raises, Liz.... <tapping my foot>

 

[Jaws82]

I know, right? It's almost like she's giving us a raise.

Speaking of raises, Liz.... <tapping my foot>

She deserves a solid raise

 

[clistenovena]

I know, right? It's almost like she's giving us a raise.

Speaking of raises, Liz.... <tapping my foot>

Did she just use the "R" word???

https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-04bd34d44edba5391ab9cfcc74a89e01

~runs and hides behind the therapy couch...but peeks around the corner to watch all hell break loose when Liz gets back~

 

[MrPractical]

Did she just use the "R" word???

https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-04bd34d44edba5391ab9cfcc74a89e01

~runs and hides behind the therapy couch...but peeks around the corner to watch all hell break loose when Liz gets back~

Don't run....

Dear Dr. Liz.....I am trying to decide which shoulder I should have an Atlas tattoo on. Whats your advice...right or left?

 

[clistenovena]

Don't run....

Okay.

~tiptoes and hides behind the couch, but still peeking 'cause it should be a phenomenal event~

 

[JerseyJade]

Did she just use the "R" word???

https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-04bd34d44edba5391ab9cfcc74a89e01

~runs and hides behind the therapy couch...but peeks around the corner to watch all hell break loose when Liz gets back~

I'm not worried. I'll just tell her it was your idea but you were too chicken to bring it up.

 

[MrPractical]

I'm not worried. I'll just tell her it was your idea but you were too chicken to bring it up.

Really.....You missed it..lol

 

[BrainTeez]

Dear Dr. Liz,

What were you on yesterday and where can I get some? You were on quite the roll! I'm a little jealous of your keyboard as you gave it quite a banging.

I find it hard to believe any man could handle you, JJ and Nova at the same time. Do you have an AED in your clinic? If not, I recommend you procure one as it's only a matter of time before before you have to jumpstart a patient's heart.

I must admit I enjoy both Taco Therapy and Whiskey Therapy. However, at my age, the latter makes me less effective at the former. Do you have an Rx for that?

Lastly, a philosophical question: if one manages to cross off every item on their Sexual Bucket List what will they have to live for? Fortunately for me, you and your beguiling band of sisters often inspire me to add to mine.

With genuine fondness, BT

 

[LupineOne]

If Taco Therapy can't get a guy to open up and share his feelings, I love the idea that a little whiskey will help!

What do you think? Are my associates onto something or what?


Absolutely they are! It's comforting to know if I want to relax and open up, there's a bottle of bourbon there to help! I've never visited with doctor Liz before, but after looking around at the signs and welcome waiting room I know if I ever have an issue or question, I'll be well taken care of!

 

[JerseyJade]

If Taco Therapy can't get a guy to open up and share his feelings, I love the idea that a little whiskey will help!

What do you think? Are my associates onto something or what?


Absolutely they are! It's comforting to know if I want to relax and open up, there's a bottle of bourbon there to help! I've never visited with doctor Liz before, but after looking around at the signs and welcome waiting room I know if I ever have an issue or question, I'll be well taken care of!

You'll have to get in line and wait your turn, though.

https://i.imgur.com/OFTJSC9.jpg

 

[MrPractical]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bbf...Db6-tva27ANVOqILfrkRy71fQtWAWO3KYNdHqcBX9aYzQ


Baby....I won't do a line...and you know that dont you?...

 

[LupineOne]

Oh. Oh, well that's all right. I'm a patient sort. I promise I won't be this guy at the front of the line!

 

[JerseyJade]

Oh. Oh, well that's all right. I'm a patient sort. I promise I won't be this guy at the front of the line!

Lmao!

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Okay, so I uh, liberated with twenty-seven autographed copies of "Behind the Green Door" from the Video store. Evidently there is a market for such things. I traded them for this:

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS3Bb8RjpdljxEDsi-N9Y6yQ4Ps_AHfOPpnlr66493PaWjh6TfLtw&s

Can I re-open the motor pool? (I mean if you're gonna ride, ride in style, eh?).

Then we can talk about my problems. But after Christmas. Can't wait for the first Taco Tuesday.

Signed,

Greasy but Grateful

PS: you can pay me in Taco Therapy for now...

Oh, um, apropos of nothing, there's no Whisky left at the moment. I wandered into the Whisky Room on the way to the garage the day after Christmas, and started taking inventory.

There are 42 empty bottles, plus a bottle of K-Mart vodka that I would only use to remove stains and a half bottle of cherry brandy covered in dust.

I have orders in to Scotland, Kentucky, Canada and Ireland. No word on delivery. I have a call in to a guy who's great-grandfather used to deliver Whisky to a Gentleman in Chicago. Al something I think. His rates area little high, but he guarantees delivery or, quote "I'll whack that lazy driver". Corporal punishment? Is that ok under OSHA?

I told him I would have to sample the product first. I'm meeting him in the desert at midnight. I'm taking the Caddy. See you in the morning.

Dear Executive VP of My Super Awesome Motor Pool,

Oh super cute! I love it! I have the perfect scarf to go with that pretty red car too!

https://images.sex.com/images/pinporn/2015/02/14/300/10501416.jpg

Ooops, I dropped my pen.

Do you mind if I can't pay you all at once? I'd be happy to pay the first installment of of an installment plan if you'd like to follow me to Exam Room #1 though.

Doctor "I Do Late Fees" Liz

Whew. That was intense!

I met the Whisky supplier. Nice fellow, shame about the scar. Anyways. I have procured 118 bottles of prime Scotch, Irish, Bourbon, Tennessee and Canadian Rye from him. I know its prime because I sampled each one myself. I actually sampled 157 bottles, but rejected those that were sub-standard.

On a separate subject: what day is it exactly? I have to get ready for New Years' Eve.

The gent from Chicago has agreed to a deferred payment plan. He will be here for Taco therapy every Tuesday for the foreseeable future just as the clinic closes. He said something about wanting the therapists to "limber up" first.

Tell JJ that the Gentleman has kindly given Antonio and his brothers a job as his delivery team. He must not pay them very well, because they do not appear to own any shirts. Don't worry, I don't expect we will need any product until the next inventory.

I have to go. The Caddy is a little dusty and it needs a wash and wax. Antonio brought Angela and well, she seems to need something to occupy her hands, so, um, she's going to help.

Signed

Getting His Chassis Washed

PS., Uh, I think there's another pen over there, under the desk...

 

[JerseyJade]

https://i.imgur.com/kbc2MeL.jpg

Liz, since Antonio and his 6 brothers couldn't be here to celebrate Christmas with us, we decided to celebrate Christmas tonight. Better late than never, right?

Anyway, Antonio seems to be helping Angela with something, so he isn't here right now... but that's okay, his 6 brothers are, so all is good.

Oh yeah. I won't be coming in tomorrow for obvious reasons, Liz. I know you'll understand.


Merry Christmas everyone!

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

Dear At The Mercy Of The Weather,

NO!!!

NOT AT ALL!!!

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE make an appointment ASAP to see either me or one of my associates.

If need be, Nova, JJ and I will all clear our schedules to get on top of your problem as soon as you come in. Our patented, 100% guaranteed, never failed yet group therapy has never failed yet to help men with your "problem"!

Doctor "I've Always Wanted To See Paris" Liz

Dear Dr Liz,

You give me hope. Should I make a deposit, or?

 

[kurrginatorX]

Dear Dr. Liz,

Generally, I am a quick-witted fellow who is ready to offer a facetious response to any and all situations; however, since the new year has rolled in, I am finding it increasingly difficult to do so. Recently, I was drinking my troubles away in a honkey tonk down in Mexico when this age-wizened man approached me and told me in the best English he could muster that I should seek you out because you would have just what I needed to get my spirits back online again. Of course, I asked what, and he alluded to an intense 48-hour session of me performing oral sex on your staff, one right after the other, in every position imaginable and with no breaks in between.

Was this man truly the deliverer of your message, Dr. Liz, or was he just a derelict having fun with my emotions?

Signed: Funny ain't funny if no one is laughing

 

[LizVegas79]

I know, right? It's almost like she's giving us a raise.

Speaking of raises, Liz.... <tapping my foot>

You can stop tapping that foot missy. The only raise you're getting is next in line in the Waiting Room!

She deserves a solid raise

How solid it is is entirely up to you sweetie.

~silently hoping there will be a delay 'cause I'm kinda hoping to see Liz in action when someone's ass gets in big trouble~

Did she just use the "R" word???

https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-04bd34d44edba5391ab9cfcc74a89e01

~runs and hides behind the therapy couch...but peeks around the corner to watch all hell break loose when Liz gets back~

Oh don't be silly, Nova. I'm not upset ... well, I mean I'm not THAT upset ...
I mean, okay it's true I might be "a little" upset. But only because ....

https://i.imgur.com/Xm9hf50.jpg

... THE R-WORD DRIVES ME CRA-CRA!!!

 

[LizVegas79]

Don't run....

Dear Dr. Liz.....I am trying to decide which shoulder I should have an Atlas tattoo on. Whats your advice...right or left?

Why do you want to get a stupid Atlas tattoo Mr. Practical?

If you want to get properly laid over and over and over (and over ) again I think a I Dr. Liz

or I JJ

or I Nova

tattoo would be waaaay cooler don't you?

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr. Liz,

What were you on yesterday and where can I get some? You were on quite the roll! I'm a little jealous of your keyboard as you gave it quite a banging.

I find it hard to believe any man could handle you, JJ and Nova at the same time. Do you have an AED in your clinic? If not, I recommend you procure one as it's only a matter of time before before you have to jumpstart a patient's heart.

I must admit I enjoy both Taco Therapy and Whiskey Therapy. However, at my age, the latter makes me less effective at the former. Do you have an Rx for that?

Lastly, a philosophical question: if one manages to cross off every item on their Sexual Bucket List what will they have to live for? Fortunately for me, you and your beguiling band of sisters often inspire me to add to mine.

With genuine fondness, BT

Dear BT,

It's a soon to be patented strain of MMJ called Dr Liz Kush specifically designed to stimulate the mind (and other vital organs ) for both males and females.

For the record, no man has been able to handle me, JJ and Nova at the same time so far. A few have tried. Thank god for the Mojave Desert is all I'm going to say about it because there is no way I'm springing for an AED - I don't even know what it is but it sounds expensive!

Yes, I do have an Rx for overcoming the effects of our Whiskey Therapy Room in order for men of a certain discreet age to be all they can be in our Taco Therapy Room. It's called Dr Liz Kush (see above). It's particularly effective when administered by either me or one of my "beguiling band of sisters" while we're wearing stilettos and a cute nurse's uniform that easy unzips down either the front or the back.

Re: your philosophical question, if you think you've crossed everything off your sexual bucket list, then you DEFINITELY need to make an appointment ASAP at my clinic because I guarantee you, my associates and I have thought of things you haven't even dreamed of (yet!) I promise or your money back.

Doctor "Let's Update Your Sexual Bucket List" Liz