Ask Doctor Liz ... Again

[LizVegas79]

Dear Not-A-Pussy:

I’ll eat your share of the tacos with a side of ass...

Tacos, enchiladas and pupusas are all tasty

Dear Taco Thief,

If you eat one single share of MY tacos without my permission I will so kick your fucking ass.


- Doctor "Bring Me A Taco And Then Maybe We'll Talk" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr. Liz,

As I read your response here I was dumbfounded by your statement of each and every one of them who refused to "return the favor". Does such a thing exist? Have you, of all people, actually been a victim of the okie-doke when it comes to oral sex? Oh, Dr. Liz. You know, there is an old saying that goes, "You are what you eat," and if that is the case then I am the biggest pussy in the world. Just know, Dear Dr., that if you ever find yourself in need of a nice, relaxing, eight hour session of continuous pussy eating then I'm the guy you call. Pro bono, of course, as my only payment is knowing justice has been served.

Signed,

They don't make 'em like me anymore

Dear Not New But Not Broken,

Believe it or not, yes. I have had guys tell me on more than one occasion "I don't do that". It hasn't happened lately, but it happened so much when I was younger I was always thrilled when a guy would go down on me because it was so special.

Eight hours might be a bit long sweetie. If you know what you're doing, 15 to 20 minutes should do the trick before we move on to something else fun.

You said 'pro bono'. That sounds dirty


- Doctor "Dirty Talk Is A Window Into Your Pervy Soul" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

I am free now. Can you squeeze me in somewhere?

Sure. I've got a spot on my couch for you.

Unless you're scared.

 

[LizVegas79]

If it was up to me, I'd say.. CUT IT OFF! That's how I would fix that.

But I'm not the doctor here... Liz is.

Someone needs to review her Employee Handbook. We can't cut those things off, sweetie. They're pretty much our main source of revenue!

 

[JerseyJade]

Someone needs to review her Employee Handbook. We can't cut those things off, sweetie. They're pretty much our main source of revenue!

Well I was talking about his hand, but doesn't that also apply to crankshafts?

 

[investor2020]

Dear Initiative Taker,

I applaud your initiative but you know that I prefer when you ask permission first before you do nice things for me. :caning:

Dear Dr. Liz -

I can tell you have truly missed being in the demerit room since the advent of the COVID crisi

I am reminded of this joke:

A mother was walking her young son home from school one afternoon.

Partway home, the son pulled on his mother's skirt and, pointing across the street, asked "Mom, what are those dogs doing?"

The mother, looking to where her son was pointing, was shocked to see two dogs in the act of copulation. As she had not yet had any "birds and bees" conversations with her son, she responded: "Well, the dog in back has apparently hurt his front paws, and the other dog is helping to carry and lead him back home".

Looking back at the dogs, the young son said: "Isn't that just like life. You try to help someone out and end up getting screwed!"


Though not exactly the same, your sending me to the demerit room after doing a favor for you falls somewhat into this same genre. Not that I mind, you understand, as I have always enjoyed your loving touch in that room.


signed,

Your Loving Demerit Devotee

 

[LizVegas79]

Well I was talking about his hand, but doesn't that also apply to crankshafts?

I'm pretty sure his "crankshaft" is a metaphor for a different part of his body other than his hand. Of course, I could be wrong.

Guys? When FranklyFrank was talking about his crankshaft, was he talking about his hand or his Mr. Happy?

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr. Liz -

I can tell you have truly missed being in the demerit room since the advent of the COVID crisi

I am reminded of this joke:

A mother was walking her young son home from school one afternoon.

Partway home, the son pulled on his mother's skirt and, pointing across the street, asked "Mom, what are those dogs doing?"

The mother, looking to where her son was pointing, was shocked to see two dogs in the act of copulation. As she had not yet had any "birds and bees" conversations with her son, she responded: "Well, the dog in back has apparently hurt his front paws, and the other dog is helping to carry and lead him back home".

Looking back at the dogs, the young son said: "Isn't that just like life. You try to help someone out and end up getting screwed!"


Though not exactly the same, your sending me to the demerit room after doing a favor for you falls somewhat into this same genre. Not that I mind, you understand, as I have always enjoyed your loving touch in that room.


signed,

Your Loving Demerit Devotee

Dear LDD,

Ooo! That's really close to LSD! I should arrange some psycho-sexual clinical trials on LSD. I wonder if there's good grant money in that?

I have no idea what you're talking about. I've had quite a bit of fun all by myself in the Demerit Room this past year with my Hitachi and other favorite toys. As far as sending you there, I thought I was doing YOU a favor because that's what you wanted, right?

Don't try reverse psychology, or glass half empty jokes on me. They won't work.

- Doctor "If You Have A Problem With Authority You've Come To The Right Place" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

"Doctor Liz? There's a well-dressed, older gentleman out here in the reception area
stroking his, what I must admit is a very nice, pretty large cock. No, it's not bothering me.
But he's asking me to dangle a shoe while he waits for his appointment with you. What should I do?"

 

[FranklyFrank]

If it was up to me, I'd say.. CUT IT OFF! That's how I would fix that.

But I'm not the doctor here... Liz is.

Yikes...if you were still working here..I might have to file a customer service complaint against your cute ass! But seeing you have both of your hands busy in your thread....I will just let you get back to your double-fisted action.

 

[hairball18]

Sure. I've got a spot on my couch for you.

Unless you're scared.

The only thing that would scare me is when I receive the bill.
But it certainly would be worth the cost.

 

[BrainTeez]

"Doctor Liz? There's a well-dressed, older gentleman out here in the reception area
stroking his, what I must admit is a very nice, pretty large cock. No, it's not bothering me.
But he's asking me to dangle a shoe while he waits for his appointment with you. What should I do?"

I bet she gives great phone ... I should probably make an appointment soon. Her nail color being very close to her lipstick shade is also a nice touch.

Brain "I've really missed Doctor Liz's clinic" Teez

 

[BrainTeez]

"It sounds to me like you aren't getting enough sex. So you have two options
in terms of therapy. We can either talk about it. Or, we can do something about it.
Think about it and let me know what you decide when you come back next week."

Dear Doctor Liz,

Are those therapies mutually exclusive? I'd prefer them to be consecutive. At my next appointment I'd like to talk AND do.

Brain "I'm also open to concurrent therapies" Teez

 

[BrainTeez]

Hey there JJ!!!

That is, as always, an excellent point. I guess I have been fortunate in my life not to know very many men like that and when I have run across them, I haven't been too shy about saying 'hey wtf do you think you're doing down there?!! how about less <whatever they were doing wrong> and more <whatever they were sort of doing right>." If all else fails, I always been able to show them how to suck my clit until my toes curl.

... Until her toes curl, eyes roll up and you get a couple of seconds of silence before her crescendo

I've found most men are very trainable - but only when they're worth the time it takes. Like I always say, communication is soooo important in a relationship - both in the bedroom and out.

You might want to try supplementing the training with "Blue Wilderness Wild Bits Training Treats". My sister's Golden loves them and he's as smart as a lot of men.

So how've you been sweetie?

Doctor Liz and JJ back on the thread is a real treat! Love you both!


... Especially women who have given birth and are self-conscious about changes that happened down there ...

Reminds me of the line "... you don't want to look down there ... it's like when the Predator took his mask off!"

Brain "You Two Really Know How to Put a Smile on my Face" Teez

 

[BrainTeez]

If it was up to me, I'd say.. CUT IT OFF! That's how I would fix that.

But I'm not the doctor here... Liz is.

JJ,

Do you know Lorena Bobbitt? Knife or shears (garden, bypass type, NOT anvil type)? Do you have a tourniquet?

Brain "I Love when Doctor Liz and JJ Get Clinical" Teez

 

[Apisto42]

Dear Taco Thief,

If you eat one single share of MY tacos without my permission I will so kick your fucking ass.


- Doctor "Bring Me A Taco And Then Maybe We'll Talk" Liz

Dear Dr. Oops, I ate all the fucking tacos,

Is the ass licking free now? I used to have to pay extra for that...

Isn’t autocorrect lovely...

 

[JerseyJade]

Brain "You Two Really Know How to Put a Smile on my Face" Teez

JJ,

Do you know Lorena Bobbitt? Knife or shears (garden, bypass type, NOT anvil type)? Do you have a tourniquet?

Brain "I Love when Doctor Liz and JJ Get Clinical" Teez

Well no I didn't... until I looked her up on Google.

From what I read, her asshole husband deserved what he got, so good for her!

As for my cure to Franky's problem, I only suggested cutting off his hand because his crankshaft was severely misaligned from him over using it and I didn't want him to cause further damage to it. However, after reconsidering my solution.. and after reading about Lorena Bobbitt.. I have come to the conclusion that it would be better if Franky's crankshaft was cut off instead, as I think his hand is more important than THAT itty-bitty thing.

Franky, I may not be a doctor, but I do recommend you contact Lorena Bobbitt and ask her to do that for you, as she apparently has experience at doing those kind of things.

 

[MrPractical]

I dropped in to see what was going on...all I can say is Ouch!

 

[LizVegas79]

The only thing that would scare me is when I receive the bill.
But it certainly would be worth the cost.

Now you know the other reason why we ask to see a note from your cardiologist prior to providing any treatment

Dear Doctor Liz,

Are those therapies mutually exclusive? I'd prefer them to be consecutive. At my next appointment I'd like to talk AND do.

Brain "I'm also open to concurrent therapies" Teez

Dear Open To Currents,

Electro-therapy is a wonderful choice sweetie! You'll be so happy you chose this option. Now the first time the Magic Wand touches your balls or your most personal place you might feel a little unusual tingling followed by a HUGE organism.

- Doctor "These Electrodes Are For Pleasure Only I Promise" Liz

Dear Dr. Oops, I ate all the fucking tacos,

Is the ass licking free now? I used to have to pay extra for that...

Isn’t autocorrect lovely...

Dear Auto Corrector,

Nice try sweetie. So, one question before we get started. Have you ever heard of Krav Maga?

- Doctor "I'm Immune To Auto-Correct" Liz

Well no I didn't... until I looked her up on Google.

From what I read, her asshole husband deserved what he got, so good for her!

As for my cure to Franky's problem, I only suggested cutting off his hand because his crankshaft was severely misaligned from him over using it and I didn't want him to cause further damage to it. However, after reconsidering my solution.. and after reading about Lorena Bobbitt.. I have come to the conclusion that it would be better if Franky's crankshaft was cut off instead, as I think his hand is more important than THAT itty-bitty thing.

Franky, I may not be a doctor, but I do recommend you contact Lorena Bobbitt and ask her to do that for you, as she apparently has experience at doing those kind of things.

JJ,

Agreed re: Lorena's husband deserving it.

Not agreeing with your diagnosis for Franky though. You must not work for tips over on your thread but that kind of thing (or lack thereof thing ) could be bad for business.


- Doctor "Lorena Bobbit Jokes Are Generally Not Funny To Most Of Our Customers" Liz

I dropped in to see what was going on...all I can say is Ouch!

Yep!

See?

I knew it!

 

[LizVegas79]

It's really quite simple. The way we test to see whether you have
a foot fetish, or a shoe fetish, is I put my shoes over here and we keep
talking as I count how many times you glance at my shoes or my feet.

 

[JerseyJade]

It's really quite simple. The way we test to see whether you have
a foot fetish, or a shoe fetish, is I put my shoes over here and we keep
talking as I count how many times you glance at my shoes or my feet.

I wish I had HER legs.

 

[LizVegas79]

I've just hired a new assistant at the clinic.

She's going to be available for our male and our female clients
and she's going to fill in for me where I can't

https://de.xhamster.com/photos/gallery/15407271/465249615


Her sign-up sheet is at the Front Desk.

 

[hairball18]

It's really quite simple. The way we test to see whether you have
a foot fetish, or a shoe fetish, is I put my shoes over here and we keep
talking as I count how many times you glance at my shoes or my feet.

I may not take my eyes off those legs.

 

[LizVegas79]

I may not take my eyes off those legs.

Hmm, well obviously you're a complicated case then. I guess we'll have to schedule
another appointment next week for you.

 

[hairball18]

Hmm, well obviously you're a complicated case then. I guess we'll have to schedule
another appointment next week for you.

Well, you are the Dr.